A Medical Report

I knew it had been a long time since I wrote, but didn't realize it had been 3 months. Life has been busy and days seem to go much too quickly. I'll give a brief account of Fall happenings, but first the medical reports.

In late summer, early Fall, I noticed that Mike looked so thin.  I usually see him every week, but due to various things I had not seen him for 3 weeks and the difference was quite noticeable when I walked in. When I inquired about his weight, he had indeed lost way too much weight. That morning he weighed 127 lbs. He's 5'11", I'm 5'4" and that was less than me! The nurses and CNAs said he was eating everything as usual and received an Ensure 3X/day, but didn't always drink those. Previously, I had asked the dietitian if the slurried peanut butter & jelly sandwiches could be added as a snack in the afternoon and supposedly they were being given to him from time to time. He also gets a double portion at meal time and eats it all. Of course, it is the pureed food, so not the most appetizing. 

The doctor ran blood work and some other tests, but there was no apparent reason for the loss in weight. He said that often in dementia patients, around the 7th year after the onset, there is "failure to thrive" and one of the main indications is loss of appetite, but Mike was eating. It was a mystery. The only thing I had noticed was that Mike didn't want to drink as much as he used to and we cannot force him to drink. Over the next few weeks, he did begin to gain and last time I asked he had gained 6 lbs. Still underweight for him, but at least he is gaining. One day I brought him yogurt and gave that to him after lunch, but obviously it was too much as it all came back up within the next hour. It is a difficult balancing act when he does not have the ability to say when he's full or hungry. 

The Psych NP no longer comes to the facility, so I am working more closely with the MD who visits the facility regularly. I am thankful for this as he wants to do the same thing I've wanted and get Mike off of some of the psychotropic medications, plus he's there a couple of times every week. The Psych NP was only there every 3 weeks. It's a different doctor from when Mike first came to Appomattox and I guess it's my fault I hadn't communicated with him more. You would think after all this time I would know how to navigate the system, but I don't. It seemed to me that Mike was put under the Psych NP and she's the one who always contacted me about Mike's medication or problems, I was never referred to Dr. Gezen before, but should have asked. 

Probably the biggest difference or change of focus is to make Mike more comfortable. For over a year now and various medication changes, there's been little to no change. Mike omms, looks restless, doesn't walk or talk, can't feed himself or help with any of his activities of daily living (ADLs), doesn't seem to know me from anyone else and needs total care for all of his needs. I told the doctor I would like to see Mike more comfortable. Dr. Gezen said if it was him, he would hope his family gave him something to make him feel good, not just comfortable. He said often the psych drugs don't make people feel good. His recommendation was to give Mike pain medication and decrease the psych medication. It sounded like a good plan to me, so over the past couple of weeks he has begun to implement these changes. My desire is to see Mike calmer and hope these changes will facilitate that and indeed make Mike feel better.

I have also had some health concerns - two of which are why I'm not trying to walk with Mike anymore. The last few times I tried to walk with him, involved a lot of straining to get him up and he didn't really want to walk, plus was more uncoordinated in walking and needed more assistance. I have scoliosis and for years have managed it with fairly regular visits to the Chiropractor and almost daily yoga stretching. Fall around the farm is a very busy time, I'm older (imagine that!) and finding that my back can't handle as much anymore. I lifted heavy pots as I decorated the farm for the festival, moved pumpkins from here to there, helped put up tents, stood for long hours at admissions on the weekends and then sat too much doing bookkeeping during the week, etc. I also neglected my practice of stretching in the mornings and did not go to see the Chiropractor for several months. This all resulted in pain that ran across my lower back and over my left hip to the point of causing trouble walking when the pain grabbed me.

After about a week and the pain bringing me to tears at times, I went to an Urgent Care where they did a CT scan, the first one I've ever had. The scan showed that my scoliosis is at 60 degrees (or is it percent?), I have degenerative disc disease, and my L4 & L5 are compressed. I was given anti-inflammatory medication and muscle relaxers. That week I went to see the Chiropractor and resumed my yoga stretching as I could bear it. My stomach didn't like the medicine very much, but I was able to take the anti-inflammatory for a few days. This all started the end of October and I am so thankful to report that after 3 visits to the Chiroprator and resuming my daily yoga practice, I am free of that grabbing pain and only occasionally take an Aleve. Praise God! I did go see a back doctor, but was doing so well by then that he said just keep doing what I was doing! 

Reason #2 may seem strange to share, but my life's been a fairly open book for over 7 years now, so...the second reason I don't walk with Mike now is that I have stage 3 prolapsed bladder and will need surgery in the new year. Lifting, pushing and pulling anything is not a good idea for me at all. 

Regarding Fall Festival on the farm - it was a HUGE success and we were almost overwhelmed by the number of people that came out to experience farm life and visit the Creamery in October. OK, we were overwhelmed, but in a good way and thanks to T.R. & Brittany's great organization and all the workers and volunteers, I believe people had a great time. Including the little ones, 2 years old and under, we had 2 or 3 days of over 1,000 people come through per day! Then there were school tours every day of the week, but I didn't help with those. After talking with so many people at admission, I lost my voice the last Saturday of the Festival and I still cannot sing the high notes I usually can.  It's wonderful to see families enjoying the great outdoors and learning about agriculture and specifically dairy, but I will have to be more careful next year and limit some of my involvement.

In late summer, we had the joyous news that our oldest son landed a job in NC. Yay!  His wife and children came in early October and stayed here on the farm with us, with short visits to NC where they all stayed with Keegan's family. Caleb is staying with Keegan since he is already working and they are still in transition. Praise the Lord their home in AZ sold and they are in contract on a house in NC so Lord willing will be settled in their new place the middle of December. It is so wonderful to have them only 4 hours away instead of on the other side of the U.S., plus they will only be 15 minutes Keegan! 

It will be a fun and chaotic weekend with all of them here for Thanksgiving and I am so looking forward to it! Then I'll go to NC for Christmas where we can all be together too. What bounty! We have never all been together with their wives and children for a major holiday, so I am extremely grateful. 

I hope each of you will have a joyous and special time of giving thanks with those you love and hold dear over the next few days as we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. We Americans have such abundance and always have much to be thankful for each and every day. May we look for the good in each day and in each person and be grateful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Colossians 3:15 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, 

since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

The Leg

Mike became so calm last Tuesday evening when I rolled him outside. He sat and studied his leg the entire time. That left leg is usually in constant motion and often has scrapes and skin tears on it. After my last blog, a friend sent me a link to Limbkeepers and I ordered a pair of leg sleeves. Will take them this week and see if it helps to protect that battered leg.

I made an unexpected trip to see him because he had been moved to the long-term hall the day before and I wanted to check on him. He was doing much the same as always and has great nurses and CNAs on that hall. The reason for the move was that his roommate, dear Mr. B. had died on the previous Saturday. I was sorry to learn of this on Monday morning and miss him, yet am glad for him that he now breathes easily and walks with Jesus. When I saw him the Wednesday before his passing, he was struggling so to breathe and sounded bad. I brought him ice cream and banana bread, 2 of his favorites. He said he couldn't eat much, but he was sure going to try to eat the ice cream and he did, but I don't think it stayed.  It was really different to go there and not see Mr. B whom I had come to love.

Mike and Mr. B were on the short-term hall or rehab wing. Mike was moved there because Mr. B didn't want to move when he was done with rehab and became long-term, so they asked me if I minded Mike being moved there. It was a good move at the time and I was thankful for all that Mr. B did in looking out for Mike. Mike is now in a room with Mr. P. whose wife comes every day. They are from India and don't speak a lot of English, but are kind and the Mrs. often takes the Mr. outside also, so we've seen a lot of each other when I'm there.

The good part of Mike's move is I know almost all of the nurses and CNAs on that hall and they seem more permanent. He's been receiving good care, but I do happen to think these are some of the best at the facility and continuity is so helpful. Somehow I think he'll get better care on this side.

Tomorrow is Mike's 63rd birthday. I plan to go for a short visit while a friend of Mom's comes to visit her. According to the nurse, the medication has gotten into his system and he is doing better at night, plus one of the CNAs told me they have not had any problems with him since he came to their side. I'm so thankful for this reprieve from agitation and stress however long or short it may be. Thank you so much for your prayers for Mike and for me.

Crying Heart

My heart is crying today. Have you ever had one of those days that nothing in particular happened, yet a pile up of emotions suddenly surfaces without warning and comes crashing out uncontrollably? Yes? No? Well, I have and today is one of them. It started after giving a prayer request for Mike in church and then a hymn about hopes and dreams and my emotions were spilling out of my eyes and sobs coming from the depths of my heart.

Mike has had a couple of rough weeks. I never know what to expect when I get a call at any time of the day or night. It's not an emergency, but...Mike fell out of the wheelchair.  Mike has a skin tear on his left leg. Mike won't stay in the bed. Mike is extremely agitated and we're having to keep him at the nurses station. Mike has a skin tear on his hand. Mike fell out of bed. Mike might have bruises on his arm because we had to hold him down to get blood-work to check for infection. Mike might have a UTI. Mike threw up.

He almost always has skin tears on his left shin. That's the leg that he keeps in almost constant motion. One day, as I came down the hall, he had a hardback book scraping it along his shin, he hits it on the wheelchair or a table and who knows what else. They try to bandage it, but he pulls the bandages off. We're going to try support hose type socks which hopefully he won't be able to remove.

This week I requested to speak with the psych PA and asked her if there was anything we can try to calm him. Instead of something new she wanted to try going back up on the Seroquel, but it seems to have back-fired or isn't in his system yet. I received a call last night that Mike was more agitated and almost fell out of the wheelchair, but since he was seated at the nurses station, they were able to prevent the fall.

Wednesday was unusually interesting. Our friend, Kristin, from NC drove up for a visit, meeting me at the facility. I was feeding Mike out on the covered deck when she arrived. It was quite hot, so after he finished we went inside and tried to walk with him in the cool. As we came down the hall, another resident was in the hall with his rollator on which he had a radio. For some reason, Mike wanted to ram his walker into this resident. Kristin and I were able to maneuver him away and head in the other direction. Then one of the staff started talking with Mike and he rammed into her and started following her. She laughed and told him to come get her and he sure tried! Whichever way she went, Mike followed and if she stopped, he ran into her. He was picking up speed as he went too. I told her she had aroused the competitive nature in Mike. She continued with us until we were back at his chair. 

We thought we would get him to sit down, but now he rammed into the chair, so I figured - can't hurt! I asked Kristin to steer the wheelchair while I held on to Mike and we sailed around the halls and nurses station with Mike intent on shoving that chair as hard as he could. When we would make a U turn, he would speed up and almost lose his balance trying to keep up with the chair. It was strange, but he was determined so we went around at least 2 times, maybe 3. The painters and nurses were getting a real kick out of watching us. One painter said he was going to start timing us. Crazy! By the time we got Mike in his chair to sit, he was breathing heavily.

A fairly new CNA had stopped me one day several weeks ago and asked me how I got Mike to walk with me. I told her and this past week she came to his room and excitedly told me that Mike had walked with her and the PT assistant for probably 20 minutes one day. I was so happy to hear that and so thankful for her willingness to try. She promised that she will continue to try to walk with him whenever she has the opportunity. I am quite grateful.

One of my other stressors this week has been the Creamery bookkeeping. The point-of-sale and accounting software were not communicating properly and trying to figure out the issue with software support was frustrating. It's still not completely straight, so I will do battle with that again tomorrow. Technology: time-saving when it works and time-consuming when it doesn't. One thing for certain is that every time I have a problem I sure do learn more. 

I have struggled this week with anxiety, depression, stress, and an overall tiredness of this never-ending journey. I know God sees, cares, has a plan, I know it. I know I am so blessed with family, friends, and many comforts and ease, I know it. I read about the persecuted Christians and martyrs and all that they have or are enduring and feel ashamed at my wimpiness. They have stood the tests, endured the torture, watched as loved ones were beaten or killed and yet stayed strong. They are my encouragement, my heroes, my real-life examples to never give up or give in to the emotions and feelings that would bury me. Compared to them my life is so easy.

Then, of course, the greatest example of all is our Lord Jesus Christ, who willingly came knowing the pain and suffering He must bear on our behalf. He did it all for the love of His Father and for us. What great love. Because of His great love, I can let the tears and emotions come, but not be overcome to the point of despair and no hope. He is with Mike, He is with me and He is with you, if you only believe. 

So, while my heart is crying, I will draw my strength from Christ and those who have been such a great cloud of witnesses for me. 

Hebrews 12:1-3

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 

For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, 

and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, 

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Family Gatherings

I don't know why, but I'm not that fond of the word "reunion". Maybe it conjures up scenes from movies where relatives are dreading the annual family reunion and having to listen to Uncle George's stories or enduring Great Aunt Agatha's tales of when she was young or, worse yet, someone telling embarrassing stories about them. I prefer to say I'm looking forward to the Family Gathering. To me it feels warmer somehow and I had the distinct pleasure of not one, but two Family Gatherings in July.

The first was the gathering of the Rice family. I always look forward to our gatherings as we spend a lot of time talking and playing card or board games. I genuinely enjoy and love my in-law family which is a huge blessing from God! It's the first time we have all been together in over 7 years and, of course, 7 years ago Mike and I didn't have 2 daughters-in-law and 5 grandchildren; however with our boys we did usually get with his family at Christmas. With one son and his family in Arizona, and Mike incapacitated, it has not been easy to get us all in one place, but on July 17 we all converged at an AirBnB for 3 nights not too far from Mike. It was wonderful and I was one happy Mom/Grammy! 

Our little hiking troopers.

We enjoyed lots of talking, laughter, board and card games, swimming, hiking, eating and I was able to get to know my Arizona grands much better than via the internet. (I'm thankful for that, but it is not the same as in person!) It was HOT and HUMID, but thanks to a pool and Richlands Creamery ice cream we made out fine. I brought along 10 different quarts so that the Ohio and Texas branches of the Rice family could give it a try. We had no trouble finishing it all before our time together was done. Caleb and nephew, Vincent, did most of the cooking/grilling which was a hot job for them, but they did a superb job and all the food was delicious.

Mike and I surrounded by his Mom, our children and grands!

Thursday morning we picked up Mike and took him to a nearby park. Thanks to Mark and Rogelio, we were able to get him into and out of the van. Mr. Omm was present the entire time, and he showed no signs of recognizing the rest of his family. After eating some ice cream and everyone having a chance to speak with him, we returned to the facility and let him walk the halls, fed him lunch, and then he was tired.  Mark and Jenney returned to see him the next day and they said he was sitting at the nurse's station and Mr. Omm was not around.

Can you believe she's 90?

On Saturday, July 20, while the rest of the Rice family headed to their respective states and homes, Caleb, Keegan, their families and I headed to Wilsons, VA to the next family gathering. This time it was on my Mom's side - the Hawkes/Dews family. I enjoyed visiting with aunts, uncles, and cousins - a few of which I had not seen in years, plus I met some of their grandchildren.  We also included celebrating Mom's 90th birthday which was on July 13. Praise God she is doing quite well.

Since I rarely get to see all of my grandchildren, I really spent most of my time with them, plus we stayed at a neighboring farm which was a true blessing. After so much travel, so many people and so much heat, it was nice to have a place of cool and quiet to escape to before we all had a melt down! LOL! The evenings gave me a chance to spend time with my adult children and we enjoyed playing games way too late!

It was so hot outside that it wasn't great weather to do much, but I was able to take my little ones for a ride on my golf-cart and we walked around the calf barns, plus of course we visited the Creamery.

"Hello cows!"

Ice cream!!!

So happy to have all my little ones and big ones in
church with me, along with my Mom, siblings and
their families, cousins, aunts, and uncles. 

A week goes by way too fast, but I thoroughly enjoyed every minute with all of my family and cherish the memories we made together. My heart is full and overflowing. God has blessed me beyond measure.

I love my growing family!

Psalm 127:3-5a

Children are a heritage from the Lord,

    offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

    are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man

    whose quiver is full of them.

It Tastes Like Gold

My visit with Mike 2 weeks ago started out much like all our other visits - he was sitting in the hall omming. The highlight for me was sharing some of our Richlands Dairy and Creamery ice cream with Mike, Mr. B. and the staff, plus a couple residents. Mike sat in his chair as people came in and out of his room to get samples of ice cream. It was definitely a hit. I started talking with the daughter of a woman across the hall who was having a rough day. Her Mom's hearing aid had been lost and no one could find it. I offered her some ice cream for which she was thankful. In a few minutes, she returned to get a cup for her Mom and said it had made their day. 😊🍨

Once the ice cream was all gone, we went for our usual walk. The difference that day was that Mike sprung up out of the chair instead of two of us straining to get him to stand. Then once we were out on the deck, he would spring up out of the chair and move to another chair and sit and then hop up and do it again. He hasn't done this in over a year.

The CNA brought his lunch out to the deck. He is still on pureed foods for the most part and although the speech therapist said he worked hard he is not progressing well enough to move back to a completely soft diet or solid food. While eating, I asked him if the food tasted good and he said no. He has not spoken a word to me in several weeks, so it was good to hear him speak. When he was finished I asked him if he was full and again he said no. So I said,  "Let's go to the kitchen and ask if you can have something else." The kitchen staff is really great and knows all the patients personally and what they can and can't have. I was not hesitant at all to ask them for more food, because I know they care about Mike and want to do what they can for him.

When I asked if he could have more food, the woman asked what would he like. "He would probably love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I don't know if he's allowed to have that." She said "Well, I would have to slurry it, but we can try it." I had no idea what she meant by "slurry it". I had visions of a peanut butter sandwich being twirled around in a blender and it was not very appealing. After a few minutes, she came out to the table with an intact peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a clear thick liquid poured over top to soften it. I asked for thickened milk for him to drink with it and she brought that too. I cut it into small pieces and fed it to Mike and he really seemed to enjoy it. At one point, I paused and thought he was trying to say something or was still chewing when he blurted out  "I want another piece!"

I was so glad he was enjoying it and asked him what flavor of jelly it was. He didn't say anything at first so I gave options strawberry, grape, .... and then he said "it tastes like gold". I wasn't sure if he meant that it tasted so good to him it was like gold or if he wasn't able to find the right word, but he look delighted with his slurried peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk and he was talking to me! Halfway through he said it tasted like chocolate, so I think he was trying to find the right word, but at any rate he ate the whole thing and drank all of his milk.

Staff and some of the other residents are always so happy to see him up and walking. One night, the previous week, I received a call that he was extremely agitated and hitting and kicking and jumping up out of his chair. The nurse tried to walk with him but he would not walk with her. I don't know why, but it seems he will only walk with me or I'm more persistent in making him get up and move. Even though I'm pretty sure he understands most of what we say, the reasoning and the ability to understand that if he walked more he would do better, is not there.

After eating the sandwich, I asked him to walk back to his room and brush his teeth. I was surprised when we got back to his room and I got him to the sink, that he stood right there at the sink, put his hands under the water, and swished out his mouth. I gave him the toothbrush and he brushed his own teeth - also the first in over a year.

That day as we had walked around the halls, several people asked me, "Who is Wendy?" I have no idea. They said one day in the dining room he just kept asking for Wendy. I told them maybe she was a former girlfriend. LOL! 😄Mr. Bentley told me that one night Mike started laughing and said right out loud "that was funny!"

This past week after I related some of the above to our Bible Study group, someone made the comment that the above day probably gave me a lot of hope. I responded "You know, maybe it should, but it's been over 7 years of good days and bad days, so I don't see a day like that as if he were getting better, it's just a good day." I'm thankful for the good days and times when he talks to me or seems to enjoy a certain food or activity, but it's just that. There is no progressive "getting better".

Thursday when I saw him he never spoke a word to me; he ommed the entire time. We walked up and down the halls, but only after 2 attempts to get him to stand and once standing, I had to stand behind him and lean into him so that he would not sit back down. Once he was going, we walked for 30 minutes or so. We couldn't go outside since it was pouring rain. I went through his clothes, threw out some old/worn things and put in some new things that fit him better. That was it. Not a bad day, but not a great one either. Then after I was back home, I received a call that Mike had popped up out of his chair and fallen. He wasn't hurt, thank God.

This coming week I look forward to all of us Rices being together for the first time since the Christmas before Mike's accident. We will all converge near Appomattox for a few days to be together and see Mike. We will not bring Mike to stay with us, but will visit him. We found out a couple of years ago that it is too overwhelming for Mike when we add him to lots of people talking, laughing, playing games, etc. As much as I would like to have him with us, it becomes stressful for all of us. I'm always wanting to try things, but am thankful for my family that is more realistic and protects me and Mike from my good intentions. It is better to keep him in his routine and a few people at a time go see him. We may try one group visit at a park close to the facility. Please keep us in your prayers in regards to our visits and for travelling mercies. I pray that it will be a blessed family time together. Our oldest son, Caleb and his family will be flying in from Arizona, our youngest, Keegan and his family will be driving from North Carolina. Mike's sister and family will fly in from Texas, and his brother's family will drive in from Ohio along with Mom Rice. Exciting!!

Then next Saturday my children (including spouses) and grands will head back with me to the farm for my Mom's 90th birthday celebration with a reunion of family members on her side of the family.

Yesterday we had a mini celebration lunch on her actual 90th with close friends and family who live right here. Next weekend everyone that can will be here. Another fun event to look forward to!!   

Y'all Come!

The Creamery continues to do well for which we are most grateful. The ice cream is delicious and you won't find better chocolate milk anywhere! I'm still learning my job as bookkeeper and there are a few kinks to work out with that and at the Creamery, but we are enjoying seeing the lines of people. It is so great to see folks

talking, kids playing, and smiles on faces. 

Psalm 13:6

"I will sing to the Lord,

for He has been good to me."

Beautiful Smile

Two weeks ago when I visited Mike, he was much the same and didn't speak to me at all. I fed him his pureed food and we took a walk. He was a little more cooperative than usual when I tried to brush his teeth and shave him though. With his fairly new haircut, he looked really good and so before I left I asked him if I could take his picture. I pointed my phone camera at him, requested a smile, and was pleasantly surprised to get a wonderful smile. A better smile than I've seen in a very long time. I was feeling quite down on the drive to Appomattox that day and so had shot a request-for-prayer text to the Tuesday Bible Study ladies. Thank you, beautiful women of God for praying and I thank and praise God for the answer to prayers, for I was greatly uplifted by Mike's beautiful smile. 

He was beginning to make some progress toward a soft diet when last week his behavior changed and they found that he had a UTI. He was immediately put on antibiotics and is doing better. I saw the ST on Friday and she said this illness set him back, but she has extended his therapy and is hopeful that he'll be able to return to soft foods or even solid foods in the near future. 

After receiving all of the necessary permits and licenses, praise God we were able to open the doors of the Richlands Creamery this past week! Mr. B has been asking how it was coming along and when I would bring him some ice cream, so Friday I took a quart of chocolate with me. Mr. B was sound asleep when I arrived, so I scooped some out for Mike and fed it to him first. Due to his reaction, I think it must have given him a brain freeze. I never saw him move it around in his mouth or let it sit for bit; the spoon went in his mouth and the ice cream went straight down his throat. After I realized this, I gave him smaller mouth fulls, but it didn't matter and after a few spoonfuls he grabbed the spoon and pushed it away. He wasn't able to handle it properly and it must have been causing him pain. So sad, because he really liked ice cream in the past and this is very good ice cream. I think I'll try a milkshake next time, maybe the intake will be slower.

Mr. B, on the other hand, enjoyed the ice cream very much and ate all that I gave him. When Mike and I were sitting on the deck, I started talking with two other women out there and divided the rest of the ice cream between them. One is a resident there and asked if she could put in an order for me to bring ice cream to her when I come every week. 😋

The Creamery has been long anticipated by family, friends, and the community and the first days have seen almost overwhelming crowds come through the doors. We are grateful for the business and to see money coming in after so many months of it only going out. I am the bookkeeper and at times am overwhelmed with my lack of knowledge of what I'm doing, but little by little I am learning and doing the best I can and have enjoyed the challenge for the most part. I've recently become more comfortable with the bills, payroll and grant reimbursement requests, but now I have new things to figure out with income, syncing software, and eventually wholesale invoices, etc. It's keeping me busy.

I've also watched videos on how to use the Square point of sale register, how to scoop ice cream, and how to make waffle cones and then helped train employees on those, plus worked several hours once we opened. Having something new to learn and working alongside others has energized me and been fun. I was able to do more of this these past 10 days thanks to my sister, Carol, being here with Mom. 

It is exciting to see my niece's dream come true and with such a bang at the start. I do see where it can become all-consuming and pray for wisdom for her in the day to day operation of this business while balancing her family life and health. The same goes for the rest of the family members that are totally invested in this venture while keeping the dairy farm completely running as well. To read more about my farming family, you can read my post titled "Sudden Disaster" at: https://lookingforbrightspots.blogspot.com/  You can also visit www.richlandscreamery.com to learn more about the creamery.

The Creamery has consumed a lot of my time recently and especially this week also, and I realized that while I want to help, I must remember what God has called me to and not lose sight of my priorities. A couple of things came to mind this week that made me excited to write, but I didn't take the time to do so. I haven't worked on my book in several weeks, because there's also the flower gardens that need attention. I wanted to visit people in the nursing home, but I didn't have time as I zipped through town. Although I have spent time in God's word every morning, I have gotten away from looking into it deeply or studying it. Plus, even though I mostly live with my Mom, I need to be more intentional about doing things with her or getting her out to visit. Days fly by and there's always more to do. 

I determined that today I would not dwell on the Creamery bookkeeping or store and I wouldn't go pull weeds. I would read and write and try to get back on track with what God has for me to do. This morning, after my time with the Lord, I had the thought to go visit at the nursing home before church. What a blessing. I was late to church, but believe one I visited was in much need this morning to have someone listen and give a hug. I didn't rush.

God calls each of us to different paths, but it is easy to get side-tracked. Even if it is a good track, if it isn't the one God has marked for us, it can overwhelm us and leave us worn, weary, and wondering where the time went. My desire is to stay on the track God has set for me. Putting Him first, caring for my husband, Mom & others, and sharing through writing. He's also given me flower gardening as my therapy, release of tension, and as a value added beauty to the farm tours. 😊

Hebrews 10:36

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Hebrews 13:20-21

"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

Lord, help me to persevere in Your will for me, trusting that you will equip me with what I need and that you will work in me what is pleasing to You.

Catching Up

I realized there are some things I haven't told y'all so wanted to catch up a bit. Also, in my last blog, I tried to highlight a couple of phrases and inadvertently mostly blocked them out. Keegan fixed that for me, so if you weren't able to read those lines, go back and all will be visible now.

Most importantly, I failed to write that the day after the 7 year anniversary of Mike's accident, his father, Jim, passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack. Jim and his partner, Sonia, lived in Florida. Mike's brother and sister flew down for the weekend to help with arrangements and be with Sonia. His ashes will later be returned to Ohio. Jim lived with Mike and I for 6 months when we lived in Ohio. Our boys were young at the time and I also took care of other children in our home. It was a busy time of life and while I kept a relatively straight and clean home, Jim liked cleaning and asked if I minded if he cleaned. Have at it, Jim! It's not my favorite thing to do and I was not offended! My house had never been so clean as when Jim lived with us. He even did the dishes, so was a great help to have around. The boys were financially blessed, because he always gave them his coins. On his rare visits after he moved away, he still brought them bags of loose change. 

Over the past 7 years, I have actually come to know Jim and love him more than before. Usually it was Mike who would talk with him on the phone every other Sunday, but after the accident I was the one to talk with Jim or Sonia. Conversations with Jim were usually short and somewhat abrupt, but occasionally he would chat more and once he shared some from his young years. Stories I had never heard before. His growing up was very different from mine with family relationships not coming as easily. It gave me a glimpse into why he was a bit distant. I had the opportunity to visit Jim and Sonia in March of 2018 and am so glad I did. I think Mike's accident hit Jim hard and he never failed to ask me if the doctors gave me any hope of a full recovery. I believe Jim loved his family, he just didn't always know how to show it. He was kind and helpful to me when he lived with us and in these post-accident years he was an encouragement to me to continue strong. He often thanked me for taking such good care of his son and he knew it was only possible because of "the good Lord".  I will miss those short, but heartfelt conversations. 

As a follow-up to my last post, I received a call from the PA who was none to happy with the RN for calling her and me with such an alarming report when in actuality Mike was nowhere near as bad as she made it sound. The PA also thought Mike was in serious trouble until she spoke with the day nurse who painted a different picture and later when she heard of my morning with Mike. She was going to be speaking with the RN and the director, but I don't know what came of that. The RN is still there and we haven't had any more alarming phone calls; however....

A couple of weeks ago I noticed that Mike was chewing his food differently and it was staying in his mouth a long time. His norm had been gorging, so this was quite noticeable. I wondered if his teeth hurt, but when a dentist came to check patients, Mike wouldn't let him look in his mouth. He doesn't really let anyone brush his teeth either, so it's very likely something is wrong; however, he's been uncooperative with oral hygiene ever since that last fall and resulting surgery in June 2018. I think he would have to be sedated in order to check his teeth. There is no noticeable swelling or redness that we can see. 

On the 16th his poor handling of food was more noticeable so I asked if he could be re-evaluated by Speech Therapy. This past week he was and was put back on a pureed diet. Thursday when I was there, ST worked with him and found that he swallows thick liquid well, but even applesauce stayed at the back of his throat and he didn't swallow unless given liquid to chase it down. This is a danger because he could aspirate if food stays in the back of his throat where the esophagus and trachea meet. The ST was going to train the CNAs to feed him slowly and make sure he swallows after the soft foods. She tried giving him a mashed banana that evening, but he didn't handle it well either. It will have to be pureed foods for now and she will work with him 3 times a week to see if she can get him back to soft or solid foods. The ST noted that with his constant omming, his jaws rarely get a break. It's possible that he is having joint pain there which would make sense in regard to chewing, but I don't know that it would affect his swallowing. He's also had several episodes of vomiting and diarrhea, so an ultrasound of his abdomen was done later that day. Everything seems to be in good working order, only some gas. Bottom line is we don't know why the change.

I did tell him about his father dying, and it's possible there is some depression or sadness related to his Dad's death, but that shouldn't cause these types of issues. There has been some medication change also, but it was getting rid of medication and one was dropped about a month ago and the other on Tuesday of last week. He had not been sleeping well and was disturbing Mr. B. The nighttime Seroquel was reduced and the Trazodone increased. Mr. B said Mike's been sleeping great, which allows him to sleep well also. One problem solved, two more pop up.

A true blessing this past Thursday was taking communion with Mike. Our Pastor from Grace drove up to the facility and we had our own private communion service on the deck. Pastor, Mike, Mr. Ommm and me. Mike ommmed through most of it, but it was a blessing all the same and had been far too long since he had partaken. My one regret is that I didn't get a photo of our special service together. 

It was beautiful at church today to remember the One who gave his life to pay for our sins, Jesus, plus remember those who gave their lives for our freedom. Tomorrow is Memorial Day. As you enjoy family, friends and cook-outs, take a few moments to remember those who gave all so that we may enjoy these simple pleasures. Many homes have empty seats and hurting hearts, remember their families also.

John 15:13 (NIV)

Greater love has no one than this:

to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

A Gamut of Emotions

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Grateful - Waking up after a good night's sleep even after overtaxing my back the day before.

Anticipation - It will be a good day. Mom is doing well, I turn 59, and it's TABS day. (Tuesday Afternoon Bible Study)

Peaceful - Time in God's word

Surprise - I missed a call at 6:19 from Appomattox Health & Rehab while taking Mom's vitals and doing our morning stretches. Didn't look at my phone until almost 7:00.

Alarmed - After speaking with the night nurse. Seems Mike didn't eat or drink well on Monday (very unusual) and was not passing urine. She said his eyes looked more sunken than usual and he was very quiet. She was able to put in a catheter, but very little came out. She had contacted the PA and they were drawing blood to check his kidney function. He sounded very dehydrated. It all sounded very bad and possibly life-threatening. If he wouldn't drink, they would have to put in an IV.

Calm - I suppose after 7 years of varying crises, I don't get overly frantic, but instead go into crisis mode. Text to see if Betty can come early to be with Mom, get dressed, pray without ceasing, go prepared to stay the night, take Power of Attorney, Guardian & Conservator paperwork, fix Mom's breakfast and pills, call family and friends to pray.

Racing Thoughts - How bad is this, Lord? Are his kidneys shutting down? Is he dying? What kind of decisions will I have to make? Will Mike leave an IV alone? Will he have to go to the hospital? He's been through so much already, no more feeding tubes or drastic measures.  Will I be going against medical advice with any decisions? I remembered a former nurse at another facility telling me that if I ever had to make a decision in this regard, that dehydration was not a bad way to go - that it brought on a sort of euphoria. 

Crying - After I informed Keegan, he prayed for Mike and me. We were both thinking God could be calling Mike home. We ended up in tears. 

Hopeful - That Mike's earthly struggle may soon come to an end and he'll be free from this physical trapping of flesh and see his Savior face to face. Hopeful for an end of these yo-yo days for me.

Blessed - Many were praying for us and I had offers from folks to ride with me. At that moment I was thankful for something my counselor had told me last Friday. "Don't feel obligated. Be sure God is leading you and not yourself." She knows me well - hard to say no, but needful at times. 

Courage - God is with me; therefore, I can make it through whatever happens today. One thing at a time. It's OK to turn down help, at times. The drive gives me time to think, pray, and prepare myself, so sometimes it is best to go by myself. I've also learned that when someone is with me my focus is divided. I am concerned about them and their time. This is not always the case, sometimes I want support with me, but so much of this has been done alone with God and often I function best that way. 

Prayerful - Please go before me dear God and give me wisdom and guidance. Be with Mike. Comfort him, hold him. 

Normal - When I arrived at 10:00 AM, I thought Mike looked the same as he always does. The day nurse said he had eaten his breakfast and drank a little, but still no urine. She would have to cath him if he had not voided by 1:00 PM. They keep a little cooler in his room with thickened drinks, so I took out a tea and he sipped on it. I really think he gets tired of all the flavors. Even the pre-mixed thickened water has lemon flavoring, so I asked for a big Styrofoam cup with a bit of ice. I keep thickener there and have asked them to give him cups of water, but I don't think they do. 

Praise - He took a few sips of the water, then I got him up to walk and took the water with us. I kept pushing the water every few steps and by the time we circled the parking lot and came back around, he had finished the entire cup and his Depends was soaked. Praise God! 

Relaxed - I fixed him a second cup and we sat on the deck. He read his Bible, I fed him his lunch and he drank all of the second cup, plus the two small drinks that came with his lunch. He read some more and I closed my eyes and relaxed. He was his usual normal to me. I attempted to brush his teeth and then left.

Contemplative - The need to be alone and away from busyness was strong. After picking up a sandwich, I headed to Holiday Lake. It was a gorgeous day and the drive through the country was beautiful. I thought back through the day and the various emotions. In complete candor, I must include disappointment. Maybe a strange emotion to have, yet knowing that Mike has given his life to Jesus and how energetic, active and lively he was pre-accident, I cannot wish him to stay as he is. I know he will be free and whole when he dies and best of all he'll be with Jesus! Seven years of seeing him locked inside his own broken body is tough for him and me. I desire freedom for both of us.  

Alone - Both Sunday and today I felt the need to be alone with God. Sunday I was dressed for church and halfway to my car when I stopped and reconsidered. It had been raining, but wasn't at the time, my sister was with Mom and I wasn't running the media that morning. I turned right around, changed my clothes and struck out on a walk. I enjoyed walking and talking with the Lord, I sang and listened to some worship music and then was quiet and relished in the sounds of nature. It's odd that as I prayed for God to be merciful to Mike, the thought of him dying on my birthday passed through my mind. Oh please not on my birthday, Lord.  When I received the call Tuesday morning, it sure sounded like it might indeed be on my birthday, but no, not yet.

Joyful & Listening - I arrived at the lake and was the only one there. It was so beautiful, quiet, and peaceful. The air was crisp and the wind off of the water was pleasant. I took a little walk around, ate and then sat and read. It's taking me a long time to get through this book, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller, but I see God's hand even in my slow progress. The right words at the right time. 

Trusting - Chapter 13 - "Trusting the Hidden God"

Remember Joseph? Favorite of his father, despised by his brothers who sold him into slavery, falsely accused and thrown into prison, yet rises to a high position and saves his family and many from starvation? Keller says: 

"Despite all the years of unanswered prayer, Joseph was still trusting God. The point is this--God was hearing and responding to Joseph's prayers for deliverance, rescue, and salvation, but not in the ways or forms or times Joseph asked for it."

"We must never assume that we know enough to mistrust God's ways or be bitter against what He has allowed." 

"If the story of Joseph and the whole of the Bible is true, then anything that comes into your life is something that, as painful as it is, you need in some way."

Keller quotes a portion of a letter written by John Newton to a grieving sister. Two parts stood out to me: 

"Her illness grieves me: and were it in my power I would quickly remove it: the Lord can, and I hope will, when it has answered the end for which he sent it....You have need of patience, and if you ask, the Lord will give it. But there can be no settled peace till our will is in a measure subdued." 

Loved & Humbled - Mike will not die or be healed until God says so. God is working everything according to His will. I have no idea what that is, but I've learned God is trustworthy and His timing perfect. Lots of unpleasant things had to happen to Joseph before he could be in a position to help others. He didn't understand along the way, yet he trusted. Hopefully when the next crisis comes, my first response will be "Your will be done, Father God, Your will be done." 

My Husband IS Amazing

7 YEARS AGO TODAY life took a very dramatic change of direction for Mike and me. From this vantage point it's gone by quickly, yet in another sense I feel every bit of it. Today as Mike and I were walking on the sidewalk I thought of all he had been through and yet here he was walking. I cannot imagine the amount of pain he has endured all of these years. He really is amazing. From the initial accident with all of his injuries to subsequent falls, a broken nose, multiple skin tears, breaking the same femur but a different location, multiple hospital stays, 3 different homes with me, plus the confinement of 4 different facilities. It amazes me how strong he remains and how he has the ability to persevere and work through the pain with a mind that cannot function properly. He is a strong man.

At this time of day seven years ago, I was sitting in a hospital waiting room with a few friends while Mike underwent emergency surgery. I had no idea how bad his injuries were or that 7 years later we would still be living with the effects. I am so glad that we only have to live one day at a time and that we do not know what the future holds. One day is doable and after making it through that one, the next comes and God's strength is sufficient for that one also. I remember thinking somewhere in the 2nd or 3rd year mark that I'd never be able to make it year after year and prayed God would work a miracle. I believe the miracle is learning that God is there second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and as we focus on Him we continue to move. It may not always be forward, but we are moving and He is there to hold us, pick us up, carry us or pull us along and provide what is needed at the present time.  

During these 7 years, I have no idea what God and Mike have talked about, but I have talked with God a whole lot about a whole lot! I've cried, begged, pleaded, yelled, wept, been silent, questioned, thanked, praised, and rested with Him. I've also been challenged and grown in my understanding of who He is and who I am. I've learned how HUGE He is and how small I am. I've learned He is sovereign and His ways are always best and He doesn't have to explain anything to me. He doesn't owe me anything. I've come to love His word, the Bible, and the blinders are coming off more and more as I dig deeper and open my heart to hear what He has to say. I know that I can trust Him completely for He is in control, He is awesome, He is Sovereign, the Almighty One, He is HOLY and He loves fiercely. 

I do still feel sorry for my husband and long for him to be healed or home with his Lord, yet I will trust God's timing. He is God and I am not. I am thankful for what God has done in my life as a result of this trauma. I don't want to go back to who I was and how I believed 7 years ago. Growth has happened due to pain and that is a very good thing.

I also appreciate all of the prayers and support from our family and friends. You have been God's hands and feet to us and a huge part of our story. I love you all.

James 1:2-4 & 12

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, 

whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 

Let perseverance finish its work so that 

you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

For anyone who does not know what happened to Mike, here's what I wrote on CaringBridge the day after the trauma began:

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikerice

Site created on April 26, 2012

Wednesday afternoon, April 25, Mike went out to run as is his routine around 4:30pm. Evidently he ran in front of a woman as she was driving down the road and she could not avoid him. He was hit and rolled on the hood of her truck before striking the road. According to the policeman, she did some very quick thinking and turned to the right so that when he fell on the road she did not run over him. 

He is in critical condition. The injuries that they know of so far are: badly broken bones below the knee on both legs that were open wounds (the left suffered more soft tissue damage and is of more concern), broken right femur, broken left ribs, collapsed left lung, and there is bleeding on the brain. They believe he will not need brain surgery at this point - the blood should resolve or whatever you call it.  A bolt was put into his head to relieve the pressure and to monitor the pressure. He is intubated and has a chest tube but they are hopeful that he will be able to breath on his own very soon.  Because he is in such great physical condition, they are very hopeful for lots of things but kept telling me they can't guarantee anything, of course. There is the possibility of infection,  especially in his legs.

Last night after they got him stabilized, I was able to quickly go see him before they took him to surgery. He was taken into the OR around 7:30pm by the orthopedic surgeon to try to thoroughly cleanse the open wounds on his lower legs and put external devices on his legs with pins that go through the skin to the bone to set and stabilize the bones as much as possible.  This took approx. 2 hours and Mike came through it well. There are multiple fractures in both lower legs and he had lost a lot of blood.  If all goes well, later they will go in and place rods in his legs. 

He was put into an ICU room around 11pm and about 12:30pm I was able to go see him. Of course, right now he is in a drug induced coma and they plan to keep him that way for at least a couple of days.

Thanks so much for all the prayers!!  I know prayer warriors have been busy, because I felt such peace and calm throughout the afternoon and evening.

Our church family came out in force - you are wonderful West Fay. Baptist!!!  Thank you so much! I'll try to keep you posted. Love you all! Jennifer

A Fantastical Day

Just recently, we started having an additional caregiver come stay with Mom which allows me a bit more freedom two days a week. On April 9th I packed a whole lot in and enjoyed a fantastical day. Betty arrived about 8:15 and within 15 minutes I was on my way to Appomattox. My car was on empty, but I prayed it would get me to Crewe and it did. Praise God! The rest of the drive was absolutely gorgeous as the purple blossoms of the Redbud trees were in full display along the sides of the road and I oooed and ahhhed my way along.

Once in Appomattox, I found Mike sound asleep in his reclining wheelchair. I could not wake him at all. So I decided to roll him around and found that everyone was headed to the dining room to listen to singing. Mike and I joined them, although he slept through about 40 minutes of the hour program. It was a gospel singing group that were very joyous and straightforward in their love for Jesus and I enjoyed singing along with the songs I knew. Mike woke in the last 15 minutes or so and looked around like he couldn't figure out where in the world he was. His eyes seemed clearer than usual as he looked at me quizzically and all around the room. After about 5 minutes of this, he started to get a little antsy and then right when the group finished their concert, one of the women came over and prayed for Mike and me. She and I held hands and put our hands on Mike. She prayed a beautiful, passionate prayer for God's will to be done.

With so many people in the dining room, there was a traffic jam of wheelchairs to maneuver through or move before I could get Mike out. By this time, Mr. Omm was in full control and Mike was pulling up his left left leg and rocking back and forth. I quickly rolled him down the hall and got his walker and he popped up easily. I told him I had a banana in the car for him so we stopped at the car and I got the banana. I asked Mike if he wanted to walk or go straight to the deck and eat his banana. He didn't answer but was just staring at the banana and then blurted out "I want that!" Alrighty then! We were able to take a good walk after he consumed the banana. It was the only sentence of the day, but I'm always happy when he is verbal, even if it isn't much.

The nurses said one day he clearly blurted out "I want cheese!" It was so unexpected and clear and they were thrilled to go get something he wanted. Last night I called to see how he was and the nurse told me he had sung "Only You" clear as could be. That's a new one! The two times I had been there after our anniversary, he was antsy and totally not speaking other than the ommm. We never know from moment to moment or visit to visit what he might say or do. This next one is on me though...It has not been easy to brush his teeth because he's moving all the time, so a few weeks ago I had the bright idea to use a wash cloth and see if I could sort-of scrub his teeth. Well, if you've ever seen the little video ("Ow, Charlie bit my finger!") of the 2 little boys and one sticks his finger in the other one's mouth and gets bit....yeah, well....thankfully I had the washcloth doubled over my finger!

Anyway, back to April 9. I left Mike later than I wanted to, but arrived just in time for the last lesson of our Job Bible study which I didn't want to miss. It was a wonderful video series by Dr. Derek Thomas. In the last lesson I loved how he wove the book of James into the book of Job. He spoke of how it's really not the patience of Job (he does lose patience with his friends and even God's silence throughout the course of the book), but rather the steadfastness of Job. Job stood strong in believing that God is Sovereign and that nothing could touch him that God didn't will. We can trust God completely through whatever comes our way.

I left Bible study, picked up my friend, Nancy, and we joined about 15 other ladies at church for a scone-making demonstration by a representative of King Arthur flour. It was loads of fun, educational, and we ended up with something delicious to eat and take home. I usually think of scones as slightly sweet, but this time tried savory using cheese and chives and they were yummy.

After that I ran into town to pick up Mom's medicine and a few groceries and came home. It was a full day but a wonderful day and I so enjoyed each part while knowing that Mom was in good hands.

Last week I had the privilege of going to Ohio to see Mike's Mom while my sister, Gayle was here. Mom R. and I enjoyed visiting, plus I enjoyed a long walk with a former co-worker/friend, Gail, and a former neighbor/friend, Joanna. Blessings abound.

I hope you have each had a wonderful celebration of Christ's resurrection today. Mom and I went to church and then enjoyed a quiet, restful afternoon and evening.

Matthew 28:5&6

The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid,

for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 

He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay."

Happy Anniversary to US!

This past Sunday marked Mike's and my 35th wedding anniversary. Wow! We've made it half of the way to where my parents would have been if Dad had lived just 37 days more this past summer. What a wonderful heritage and example for us.

My friend, Nancy, was kind enough to drive me up to Appomattox on Sunday and help Mike and I celebrate. We stopped in Farmville to pick up lunch and arrived about 11:30. Mike was SOUND asleep in his chair and did not want to wake up at all! The CNA and I tried a couple of times to no avail and then the RN came and after a couple of attempts, we were able to get him up and moving. It was very slow at first, but we managed to make it down to the deck where Nancy was waiting for us with all our lunch goodies. There was a definite chill in the air, but it was sunny and bright so we were able to enjoy a delicious picnic in the sun.

Mike was calmer than I have seen him his entire time at AH&R and Mr. Omm only made a very small appearance the entire 3 hours we were there. That was wonderful. He still didn't really talk, but did answer a couple of yes/no questions. He also fed himself most of his lunch with only a few cues from me to slow down and take small bites.

After lunch, we walked down the road for a bit, crossed the street and then continued the entire length of the school parking lot before crossing back over and going inside. Mike did really well. We move slowly, but he does it all on his own power, with the walker for stability. Back inside, he was not ready to sit down yet, so we walked in the hallway for a bit also. Before we left, I read to him from the Bible app on my phone, as his Bible seems to have walked away. I hope someone else is reading it, and it didn't simply disappear like his shoes seem to have done. It's hard to keep up with everything, but his things do stay put better here than they did at The Harbor. Most people here are not prone to wandering from room to room and moving things about which is a plus.

It was quite a pleasant anniversary and I was so happy to see Mike more peaceful. When we left, I handed him a book and he started reading out loud and then to himself. What an extra blessing; it put the cherry on top of our visit! 

Thank you, gracious Lord!

James 1:17 (NIV)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, 

who does not change like shifting shadows.

*P.S. If you have been following us via Google+, I'm sure you have seen that it is going away completely as of April 1. I have changed my profile to Blogger, but honestly, I don't really know what all of this means. I'm not sure everyone is getting the post notifications and if not, I don't know what to do about it. I usually share the posts on Facebook, so hopefully you can follow us that way. Thank you for your continued interest and prayers!*