The Stone & The Little Box

                                                     

Back before we released Mike's ashes in the ocean and after I had ordered his gravestone, I was lying in bed one night unable to sleep. As my body tried to relax, my mind revved up. Plans for the ocean memorial, Mom's care, and who knows what else that decides bedtime is the time to consider these things and keep me wide awake. As I tossed and turned, I started thinking that I would like to have something to bury at the cemetery, but what? I didn't like the idea of splitting up the ashes, so not that. I had the little silver medical identification disk and didn't know what to do with it, so that would be one thing. Then my thoughts turned to what I would put that in and what else would go with it. 

The Lord brought to mind a small wooden box that I had carved a design into in art class when I was in middle or high school. It was sitting on my dresser and I decided I'd see what was in it in the morning and drifted off to sleep. The next morning, it was a pleasant surprise to open it and discover small shells that I had collected from our beach trips over the years. I had thought I would make a necklace or earrings some day, but that never happened. Perfect. Those shells symbolized Mike's favorite place to go and our many trips to the ocean together. I collected the ID marker and wrote Mike's name on it. Then I decided I would ask my grandchildren to each add a shell while we were at the beach. I tucked a copy of his obituary inside also.

At the ocean, I took a petal from each of the flowers that we tossed into the water and some from the beautiful arrangement I had in the beach house. Amy's grandma found a shell that looked like an angel's wing and gave that to me to add as well. After fitting the various items into the little box, I took it down to the ocean with me one morning and added a bit of sand - it was now complete. 

I ordered Mike's memorial stone the end of April, but like lots of things during this pandemic, it took longer than usual for the stone to come in from Georgia. Mid-September I received the call that it was ready. On September 21, I met Simmons Monuments at the cemetery to have it installed. I had looked at various designs to get ideas, but nothing seemed right. I drew a few rough possibilities of what I wanted and Simmons refined it.  

As they were installing it, Mr. Simmons said that even though he didn't know Mike, he could tell a lot by his stone. That it tells a story. I was happy to hear that since that's what I was trying to do. Simmons did a beautiful job and I am very pleased with the result. Later that day, I took my Mom to see it. Periodically, she enjoys walking around the cemetery and we hadn't done that in a while. Both sets of my grandparents, my Dad, and many other relatives are buried there. Mike's stone is beside my cousin, Leslie's.

Since Keegan's family had already planned to come the last weekend of September, the timing was perfect for them to be with me to bury the little box by the gravestone. It was a gorgeous day with a Fall-like feel in the air. The stone and the little box were the final pieces of things I had planned in memory of Mike. I had never thought much about a gravestone before, but it is oddly comforting to have something tangible in remembrance. It is a reminder of Mike's life and how with God's help we indeed were able to stay true to our vows, "til death we did part".

It has been therapeutic to have these different memorials. Due to the pandemic, we did things outside of the norm and they really suited us so much better. Having the different pieces spread out has been a blessing as well. Grief is a journey and a process of joy and sorrow which hit randomly and often unexpectedly.

This week, Google photos sent a memory from 2011 of a beach trip Mike and I took less than a year before his tragic accident. We didn't have smart phones at that time, but I guess I uploaded some from our camera, because it has the date stamp on it. That morning it was a joy to see this photo of Mike walking on the beach, although it was a bit melancholy at the same time. That night when I pulled it up again, it brought me to tears. It was if he was walking away from me to his heavenly home and the realization hit all over again that I will never see him again this side of heaven. It is a strange feeling that is hard to explain and hard to fully grasp. I have a dear friend going through her own grief journey and we have been texting and encouraging each other more this week. It is helpful to share especially when the waves of sadness hit hard. Our journeys are different and yet so similar.

The Scripture reference on Mike's stone, Ephesians 6:10, was one of his favorite greetings: "Be strong in the Lord..." One of his friends, Roy, in NC would respond back with the rest of the verse "...and the power of his might!" The day this photo popped up, I learned that Roy too had gone to his heavenly home. Once again they are greeting each other and praising the Lord together. There is much pain and sadness in this world, but for those of us who believe and trust Jesus, there is always victory and a deep abiding joy that this world and it's chaos will never be able to conquer or take away. 

My flowers are still blooming brightly and the ones in the memorial pot are also, so I took a few to the gravestone on Tuesday. I know Mike is not there, but the stone is a reminder that he passed through this life, lived it well, and stayed strong in his faith in Jesus as Savior and Lord. It reminds me of our life together and God's faithfulness to carry us through. A memorial stone.

Ephesians 6:10

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might."

If you want to see the post and videos from the release of ashes or the memorial we had in January, just scroll down to previous posts at https://onlyadventures.blogspot.com/

Memorial at Sea & A Week at the Beach with Family

August 7 & 8 - Rice family members from Arizona, North Carolina, Ohio, Texas, and Virginia gathered at Surfside Beach, South Carolina. There were hugs and laughter, little one's giggles and shyness, lots of talking, noise and general chaos, excitement at being at the ocean, playing in the waves, on the sand, and in the pool, plus several trips to the grocery store. Saturday was stormy and rainy, but was the only day that way.

We had a wonderful beachfront house. Family members from Amy's Mom's and Dad's side were mainly on one side and Rices on the other. Amy's side of the family has gathered at Surfside Beach for years and I had joined Keegan's family and Amy's parents last year. We had such a great time. Amy's Mom started planning early for a beach trip this summer to include more family and had found this large double house. After Mike passed away, I asked the rest of the Rice family if it would be possible to coordinate the release of his ashes with the week that we already had planned at the beach. Praise God, they were able to find a house one block away from us and everyone was able to come! 

Sunday night I had a special time with Caleb & Anastasia and Keegan & Amy. I shared what I had planned for the release of ashes service, plus gave them photos from when the boys were young, some with their Dad and some not. I also shared some of the blessings God had provided to me after Mike's death. We talked and shared and cried which was a true blessing and a precious time that I treasure. 

Monday, August 9 started with a beautiful sunrise and the promise of a great day to be out on the ocean. Amy's Uncle Dan goes deep sea fishing and provided seasickness-preventing pills, which had never crossed my mind and we were very thankful for! No matter how calm a day, the ocean is still moving. 😊 Amy's cousins, Chris & Narcisse, offered their vehicle so that we wouldn't have to shuttle people the 15 minutes to and fro which was another huge blessing to us! There were 19 of us going on the boat, 4 needed car seats, and most had flown to SC, so we only had Keegan's vehicle and my car.  Having the use of their vehicle that morning that already had a car seat was a real time-saver especially since we needed to be there by 7:30 AM. 

In front of Express Watersports before going out.
All my kids and grands. I'm so blessed.

We rented a boat through Express Watersports in Murrell's Inlet. They were wonderful to work with and I could tell they have trained their staff well for this more sensitive service that they provide. I mean it is quite different from the majority of their business which is renting jet skis, scuba-diving, kayaking, etc. They took care of the permits needed and knew the laws regarding the release of ashes. They also suggested a florist if we wanted to have flowers to throw, which was beautiful, and a caterer if we wanted to do a big breakfast afterwards. We opted to bring our own simple foods on the boat figuring that the children (and adults) would be hungry soon. Callas Florist was also wonderful. They suggested the wreath to put the ashes in and I'm so glad. Ashes are heavy and they would have sunk as soon as they were put in the ocean. This way they floated off which was so calm and peaceful. 

JJ, our First Mate, asked me if there was a particular reason why we came to that spot and I told him no, Mike loved any ocean and beach, plus I briefly told him that Mike and I met in Palau surrounded by the Pacific Ocean. He replied: "Well all the oceans connect, so his ashes could go all around the world." I love that thought! Later that week while bobbing up and down in the ocean with family, it was a distinctly pleasant thought to realize that part of Mike was right out there now, part of the ocean he dearly loved. 💕 After our 2 hour boat ride, I was given a certificate with the coordinates of where we released his ashes should we want to visit the site in the future. I told the boys, maybe my ashes could be released at the same spot when the time came, who knows?

We had a time of sharing before releasing the wreath with the ashes and the best way to share that with you is with photos and videos of our time on the ocean. JJ did a great job of videoing for me. A couple of the videos go from vertical to horizontal which then ends up being sideways, but I don't know how to fix that. The last video of the release of ashes is a bit chaotic as my phone was passed from person to person, but it's still meaningful to me and I was able to export still shots from it which come at the end of the album. Follow the link below to watch the videos of the service:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/doFhjM9HzrqHYjwn6

The rest of the week was a wonderful time with family. We played in the waves, the pool, played games after the littles were in bed, ate well, and made many blessed memories. It was hard to see family leave at the end of the week, but God had provided such a precious time with gorgeous weather and I couldn't have been more pleased with how everything worked out. Below are some photos from our week with a bit of commentary.

The Rice/Cipriano Guys

 

We never managed to get a photo of all of us together, but we did get several groupings. Here's the guys and gals shots. A lovely bunch that I am proud to call family.

The Rice/Cipriano Gals.

Cornhole on the beach!

 

All my beautiful grands. My cup runneth over! It wasn't until Wednesday that my littlest, Aurelia, (who had only seen me through a phone or computer screen) would let me play with her and hold her. Then we became buddies and I tearfully let her go Friday when they had to leave. The children played well together for the most part and we had a blast! So much joy having them all together!

Joy, such a cutie with
so much determination!

Aria, Seraphina & Riley played so well together.

Watson is so good 
with numbers.

Love that face!!

Finally buddies. 💕

Watson and I found a starfish.

Seraphina loves to make faces!

Adult game nights. We stayed up too late
and had so much fun!

Mark's wife, Jenney. Mike and Mark's sister,
Lynn, and her husband, Rogelio.

Keegan said it wasn't a Rice gathering
until we had the Cipriano's famous
chorizo and eggs breakfast! So
they obliged. YUM!

Gorgeous sunrises painted by God, our creator!

Cool design from the out-going tide.

Everyone thinks they look like Mike. 


   

People think they could be twins.
Do you think they could be twins?

Hanging out with G'ma.

Chillin with G'ma.

My sibs-in-law. I am so blessed by them.

Finding a moment to read.

Floaty Dad!

Mom Rice, my how
your family has grown!

Family photos with G'ma:

So glad Mom Rice came.

Caleb's family.

Keegan's family

Mark's family

Lynn's family

I went with Caleb's family to 
Huntington Beach State Park one morning.
We saw alligators and walked through an
old "castle". Very interesting.

Great shot at the castle.

Sweet Daddy/Daughter moments.

   

Princess story time with the girls.

Settlers of Catan Jr. 

Amy and Watson playing a card game.

The ocean wore Joy out.
Her hand is still in the bag
of Cheetos!

These magnetic blocks
provided lots of entertainment.

Mike would have loved being with all of his family at the ocean, but I believe we remembered him well and enjoyed the time we had with all of our loved ones even while there was an obvious hole. I sure was blessed with all of the memories of Mike that were shared and all of the new memories made. 

When I came home, the wild flowers planted in his memory were in bloom. The little heart I took off of the box of ashes and planted greeted me with sunny yellow cosmos swaying gently in the breeze. There is one more thing I will share with you once his gravestone is installed, which will finalize all of the memorial events for Mike; however, he will forever live in our hearts and in the lives he impacted while on this earth. 

Philippians 1:21

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.