Encourage One Another

Hebrews 10:23-25

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,

For he who promised is faithful. And let us

consider how we may spur one another on toward love

and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together,

As some are in the habit of doing,

but let us encourage one another—and all the more

as you see the Day approaching.

Due to Mike’s broken nose emergency, I missed the opportunity to write about a very special visit that occurred the week before his fall. Way back in the 1980’s :-), when we were in Palau, Dan & Kaylynn Mills, who are with Campus Crusade for Christ (now CRU), were also there. They are currently serving in New Zealand and Papua New Guinea where they have been for over 16 years. This summer they were home for a couple of months furlough and included a trip to our area to visit with Mike and me. What a blessing their visit was to me! I felt like I had received a cup of cold water for my thirsty soul all the way from New Zealand. Just like Proverbs 25:25 says: Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land.

They arrived on Thursday night (at the farm) where we enjoyed supper with Mom and Dad, a brief walking tour of the farm before dark, and I even put Kaylynn to work helping me peel and cut up cucumbers to get them ready to make cinnamon pickles. (they are delicious, by the way!) While we worked, the three of us talked and shared and encouraged one another with what the Lord has been teaching us and our families in the more than 20 years since we had seen each other. There has been a recurring theme in a lot of my readings lately and what a joy to be able to talk with them about it. (That’s a post that I am prayerfully and thoughtfully working on little by little. So…more on that another day.)

That Friday we went to visit Mike. Kaylynn rode with me and the miles few by as we talked the entire time. Dan drove separately because they would leave from Stanardsville to drive to Northern, VA where they were speaking on Sunday. At first Mike just looked at them and didn’t say much. We played a few games of Sequence and then took Mike out for ice cream. He did fine in the car and when Dan asked him what classes he taught in Palau he answered right away and then knew who they were and remembered their son. At the ice cream shop, he said he didn’t want his cone dipped in chocolate, (the rest of us did). After we all got our ice cream, he kept looking at Dan’s so I asked him if he wanted to try mine. He did. He became stuck on his “oooo”, and I had to remind him to eat his ice cream. Once he finished his, he reached over and took the rest of mine and ate it too. :-)

Back at The Harbor, we stayed with Mike a bit longer, but he was getting tired so we got him settled in bed and left. Dan, Kaylynn, & I had a chance to sit on the front porch and “debrief” before they left and again they were such a blessing and encouragement to me. They are such genuine, loving, open and honest lovers of Jesus and it is so easy to be with them and talk with them. I came home feeling much refreshed in spirit. As Christians, we are not to stand alone, we need each other for encouragement and accountability and I thank God for the time with Dan & Kaylynn.  Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.  Thank you Dan & Kaylynn for taking the time to come see us!

It’s sort of “The Summer of Missionary Friends”. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had a brief visit with another family also with CRU. Steve was in Palau briefly during our time there. He and his wife and one of their children stopped by the farm for a couple of hours on their way to NC. Though brief, it was great to see them, as well. They now serve at the Florida headquarters and are instrumental in preparing missionaries who are going out to various places throughout the world. They had served for many years in Japan.

Today, I am at a hotel in Orange, VA awaiting the arrival of our dear friends, Gert & Elke, with whom we served in Palau for several years. They have made trips down to the US and we have made trips up to Canada also over the years. You may remember that Elke came and spent a couple of weeks with me two summers ago while Mike was in Blacksburg, VA. I am greatly looking forward to time with them, as well.

I took this morning to get this blog written and uploaded, plus I hope to continue to read, pray and work on the other post. It’s nice and quiet here and I don’t feel like I need or should be doing other things. I spent most of the day yesterday with Mike at The Harbor, so am taking advantage of this peaceful, quiet place and some time alone.

This past Wednesday, I received a call from Liesa at The Harbor saying that due to Mike’s recent falls and resulting injuries, they wanted to speak with me. I had already planned to come up on Friday so we scheduled 10:30am. I took a long walk Wednesday night and gave my worries and fears to God and trusted Him for whatever was coming on Friday. My sister, Gayle, came on Wednesday for a few days, and again, what a blessing to have the fellowship of Christians to share our burdens and help us keep our focus. We had “iron sharpening iron” conversations also.

The meeting went well and I really appreciated that as soon as the new administrator joined the meeting she said: “I don’t know what has been said so far, but I just want you to know that we are not talking about discharging Mike.” Phew! She knew exactly where I thought the meeting might be headed. Everyone is just concerned that his falls have dramatically increased in the last few weeks and we needed to brainstorm ways to keep him safe. There was even one time that he was standing right next to a med tech and then suddenly was on the floor. He wasn’t even walking! The only thing that came to my mind was that maybe he has a hip or knee giving out on him. He had arthritis in his right hip prior to the accident, so I mentioned that. The speed with which he walks is still a definite concern also. I had brought his walker, but the head nurse is concerned that it could cause more problems than solutions. She is going to talk with Physical Therapy and see if they will come back and work with him and ask what they think of the walker.

It seemed to me that I always got the calls about his falls in the evening or at night, so I asked if that was a recurring trend. Jane, the administrator, brought out his records and every fall has occurred between 6:00-9:00pm.  Either he is tired at that time of night, or something is out of balance during that time. We discussed trying to find volunteers from local churches or school groups that might come in and be with Mike some during those hours. I had also thought of contacting UVA and seeing if there are any students studying brain injury that would like some hands on experience with a TBI survivor. If any of you have contacts in these areas, are in a church that might be interested in this as a ministry, please let me know. It is true that Mike does better with one-on-one supervision for the most part. He gets tired of having someone with him all the time, but he does like attention and cognitively does better when someone is interacting directly with him.

Mike’s center of gravity has definitely shifted forward. He walks slightly bent over and this causes his balance to be off. All day yesterday, I spoke softly, but firmly with him about standing tall, looking forward (not down) and walking slowly. He could do it with constant reminders, but if I didn’t say anything, his footsteps became rapid and his body over his toes. He also shuffles his feet and keeps them too close together which does not give him a good base and more easily trips him.

He did wonderful all day yesterday, we could converse, he walked out to the car with me carrying an empty box, we practiced walking up and down the halls, and he even made it to the bathroom, a couple of times, on his own. Meals are a challenge. He tends to eat way too fast and doesn’t like to be told to slow down. At supper last night, it all fell apart. He became very anxious, even shaky at one point. He would not stay seated, and was about to eat the napkin. He ate all of his supper, 2 rolls that I brought from home and then I asked for a bowl of applesauce. Once he knew the applesauce was coming, he finally relinquished the napkin to me, but still would not sit down. After he ate the applesauce, I got him to his room and in bed, only to have him hop up to go to the bathroom. He sat in there for a long time, then back to bed and right back up again. Something is definitely going wrong at that time of night.

As I was leaving, I was able to speak with Jane and tell her my observations. She is going to have the staff keep a closer eye on him during that time, and speak with Dr. B next week, also. I was glad I stayed and was able to see what might be happening on a regular basis.

Mike has a new roommate. His former roommate passed away last week. His new one doesn’t look much older than Mike, physically seems very fit, but spent most of the day fretting and looking for his wife. It’s a very pitiful situation.

On a funnier note, one of the women yesterday was going from room to room, declaring that this was her house and nothing was leaving it! I was organizing Mike’s stuff, while he rested, and she came in the door and asked me what I was taking. I told her nothing, just organizing my husband’s things. “Your husband!? Who is that?!” she said. “His name is Mike.” I answered. She peered around me at Mike, seemed satisfied, and moved on to the next room. Ha! Later, when I was leaving, I heard a shout, and looked back to see her coming out of Mike’s room, evidently she had gone in there and his new roommate shouted at her to get out! It’s rarely dull around there.

Well, this is too long again, but one last thing. Mike’s 59th birthday is on August 26. I hope he is having a good day today and that we can take him out for ice cream and then I would love to take him to a church and out to eat tomorrow for something special and out of his norm. Would you please pray that we would be able to do that? Thank you. I know he would enjoy receiving cards also.

422 William Mills Drive
Stanardsville, VA 22973

Broken nose

Hello, dear friends,

Last Tuesday evening, about a half hour after I got home from work, I received a call from C at The Harbor informing me that Mike had fallen, broken his nose, and the emergency squad was there to take him to the hospital. She said that she heard a loud wham next door and was afraid to go see what had happened. When she did, she found Mike on the floor with blood on his face. Upon inspection it was obvious that his nose was broken and there was a 3/4" laceration across the bridge of his nose. They believe that he fell into the door frame head first.

I quickly finished my sandwich, packed a bag, and headed to Charlottesville. Since Mike does not have a one-on-one person, they have no one to send with him. I arrived at the Martha Washington Hospital about 9:30 PM only to find out that Mike was at the Martha Washington Freestanding Hospital about 25 miles away - closer to The Harbor. Mike was sound asleep when I arrived and looked very rough. He had a very swollen nose & upper lip, dried blood  on his face & in his nose, and just generally pitiful. The doctor came in and told me that he had scanned Mike's face, head, & neck and there was no internal damage. He put super-glue like stuff on his nose laceration. Mike also had a laceration on the inside of his mouth between his nose and upper lip. The doctor said mouth wounds usually heal quickly and it was not gaping, so he believed it would heal well on its own. Plus, he did not want to have to sedate Mike. Mike was sleeping so soundly that I thought he had been sedated or been given pain meds, but the doctor had not given him anything. Of course Mike was agitated when the doctor was examining him and irrigating his nose, but otherwise he had done well according to the doctor and RN.

One week prior, I received a call saying that Mike had fallen during the night. He was probably getting up to go to the bathroom when he fell, but he was OK. Due to the increase in medication, he had become even more unstable than he already was, so the next day the medication was reduced back to the prior dosage. I was thankful for that, but as I well know, when Mike gets anxious (which is often) he walks extremely fast and his body gets ahead of his feet and down he goes. You may remember that he rarely puts out his hands to break his fall. This is not good.

Anyway, the doctor discharged Mike after the glue was dried. The RN came in and asked if I was comfortable transporting Mike back to The Harbor or if I would like him to call Medical Transport. I was so relieved to know that Medical Transport was an option. Within the hour, Mike was cocooned in the sheets, moved from the hospital bed to the stretcher, transported to The Harbor and then moved from the stretcher to his bed. He never woke up. I had thought I would stay with him in case he was agitated, but after about an hour it was clear that he was going to sleep just fine, so I might as well try to as well. I found a hotel and gratefully crawled into bed about 2:00 AM.

Wednesday and Thursday I spent most of the day with Mike. The swelling was greatly reduced Wednesday morning. I read the Bible to him and then he wanted to rest. He was given pain medication and slept a good bit in the mornings. He never complained of hurting and if I asked he seemed annoyed with the question, so I let it be.  Wednesday afternoon he napped in the sunshine for a little while until it became too hot. When we came inside, several other residents were doing memory games so we joined them. It seems everyone, who has a bit higher cognitive function, wants to be gathered around the same table. It was crowded, but fun. I was able to learn the names of a few other residents and interact with them too. Each one has their own quirks, challenges, and personality. You never know what someone will say! The interesting thing is that even though they all want to be clustered together, they really do not interact with each other. Each one is trapped in their own mind. It takes one of the staff, volunteers, or family members to engage each one in the activity, otherwise they may just sit there and look at the game on the table, unaware of how to proceed. Maybe this was just for that particular activity, but was what I observed that day.

I checked on Mike a couple of times this weekend and it sounded like he was progressing nicely. The purple/blue/green was turning to yellow and he was more stable on his feet. We had kept him in a wheelchair on Wednesday and Thursday and he seemed to prefer it then also. Tonight I called and spoke with him. Here's how the conversation went with Mike speaking in a loud, hurried, annoyed voice:

Me:  Hi Mike, how's your nose?
Mike:  Hi Jennifer, My legs are fine!
Me: Not your legs, your nose?  Mike?  Hello? Are you there?
Mike:  I'm feeding two men!
Me: Oh, you're helping two men eat?
Mike: Yes!
Me: OK, I won't keep you then. Bye. I love you.
Mike: I love you!
click....

He sounded busy and doing well, so I was pleased. Not an hour later, I received a call from C (right after I started typing this blog) telling me that Mike left the dining room, started down the hall and fell. He was going to require a couple of stitches above his left eye, but she said Mike said he was fine and Medical Transport would get him to the clinic for the stitches and return him to The Harbor so I am not trying to go up there. Heavy sigh.....it was the same situation, he was walking too fast. Like a toddler just learning to walk; unfortunately, he has a lot farther to fall.

Thank you for continuing to pray for Mike. I hope all will settle down and he'll slow down soon. I am really praying for God to give wisdom to the doctors who are caring for Mike. I definitely don't have the answers and pray that God will lead them to the right balance and solutions to stabilize Mike, as much as possible, physically and behaviorally.

I Corinthians 1:9

God, who has called you into fellowship

 with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.