Happy 2024!
I hope you have each had a wonderful celebration of Jesus' birth and will go with God throughout this new year and be blessed. My youngest son, Keegan, and his family and I enjoyed time in Ohio with most of the Rice side of the family, but we greatly missed my oldest son, Caleb and his family. We look forward to seeing them in March in Arizona! It was also very strange to not go to the farm at all. As most of you know, my Mom passed into the arms of Jesus in April (on Good Friday) after suffering a stroke. We miss her greatly, yet know she is rejoicing in the presence of her Savior and with Daddy once again. I do look forward to getting with my siblings and their spouses later this month.
God woke me up early this morning on the 3rd anniversary of Mike going to be with Jesus. Three years. It hardly seems possible, but there it is. Since I couldn't get back to sleep, I went on and got up, had my usual Bible reading time and then started reading the last lesson on prayer that Taylor, one of our church's pastors wrote. This was a study done in the Fall and I missed the last lesson, then another woman from church and I decided we wanted to go back through the entire study together. She and I are meeting tomorrow for this last lesson. I had not even looked at it until this morning and it really fit the day. The final lesson was mainly about "Unanswered Prayer". I love how our heavenly Father orchestrates things to perfection.
In his notes, Taylor states "I believe there are three preliminary things to consider when it comes to unanswered prayer: 1. Prayer is a request, not a demand. It is not advice offered to God. It's His prerogative to act or not. 2. We hold fast to God's goodness. One of our temptations is to doubt God's goodness. We need to trust that God loves us even in silence. 3. We hold fast to God's power. We might tend to doubt that God is all-powerful - that all things really are possible for Him. Then Taylor goes into some of the reasons why our prayers may not be answered the way we want." (Prayer Session 7 by Taylor Terzek at Lake Norman Baptist Church)
As I read the list, the main one that stood out to me as to a possible "why" God did not heal and restore Mike on this earth was: "Relationship. Some prayers aren't answered because God Himself is a greater answer than the thing we are asking for, and He wants to use our sense of need to draw us into a deeper relationship with Him." (Taken from God on Mute by Greig also in Taylor's notes) One thing I can say for certain is that God drew me into a much deeper relationship with Him and more understanding of His character throughout all those years after Mike's accident in April of 2012. In the early years, I was desperate for Him, desperate for answers, desperate for comfort and as I dove into His word, He met me there and revealed Himself to me little by little as I could only absorb so much at a time. He is a gentle and loving Father and knows better than I ever can what is best. Although He allowed pain, stress, sorrow, anxiety, trials, etc. He never once left me alone and still doesn't as evidenced by the timing of this reading.
As I kept reading, I loved how Taylor ended the study. He went to the book of Revelation and how in the end all prayers will be answered and turned into songs of praise. See Revelation 19:1-3, 6-8. Then he shares a quote from Calling on the Name of the Lord by Millar: "As John's vision, the book of Revelation, and indeed the entire canon of Scripture, draws to a close, it seems that prayer is replaced by singing. The prayers of the saints are answered, and there is nothing left to ask for. All that remains is celebration....and endless delight, worship and surprise at the endless magnificence of the glory of God."
Taylor goes on to say "Cries of petition have turned into songs of praise. This is the end of prayer: joyful praise. Yes, prayer is the mechanism of hope, where we call upon God to act in the gap between His promises and our reality. In this sense, it is a key practice of suffering. But prayer is also a vehicle to inevitable joy and praise."
I love that! As I read all of this in the early morning hours, tears of thankfulness, sorrow, joy, love, amazement all intermingled in a beautiful flow as I was overwhelmed by the pure awesomeness of our great God! Memories flooded my mind as I thought back over the past 12 years and once again I was blown away by how God provided and carried me through the struggle and loss and how He truly does turn all prayer, answered and unanswered, into songs of praise. Often it doesn't happen right away, but as we trust Him and believe in His goodness and power, persevering by faith, the praise comes.
We may never truly know why some prayers are not answered, yet we can trust God who does know. We never "get over" loss. It becomes a thread in the fabric of who we are - loss interwoven with love, memories, sorrow, joy, pain, praise and all the experiences of our lives. God doesn't throw out the broken, the loss, He makes it into something beautiful. Even when He seems silent, He is at work.
What a precious gift He gave me today.
