His way and His time

On January 10, Mike had a dentist appointment.  I arrived early to make sure Mike was ready and give him a chance to think about what was going to transpire. He was reading a magazine and would just pause briefly to look at me and then continue reading. After a bit, I asked him if he knew who I was. He kept reading. Later I asked him if he knew my name and he said "I don't know." So I told him and reminded him that I was his wife. "I know." he said.

My brother-in-law, Tom, graciously met me at The Harbor to help with the outing. Mike was able to walk to the car with his walker and then into the dentist's office with Tom and I on either side. He did great throughout the entire cleaning and x-rays. The hygienist finished and we were waiting for the Dentist to come in when Mike said, "Is your name, Jennifer?" 😊

We enjoyed lunch at Subway and were just about finished when Mike started to get antsy. By the time we returned to The Harbor, Mike was tired and ready to go to bed. He had done very well and I am so thankful that he is still able to tolerate those appointments.

Yesterday, our Pastor, Randy, and his wife, Karen, and I drove up to see Mike. It was a welcome relief to have someone else do the driving and we enjoyed visiting along the way. When we arrived, the Physical Therapist was there walking with Mike down the hall. I came up beside Mike, greeted him and was blown away when he responded, "Hi Honey!" Wow! Blast from the past. That's how my pre-accident husband used to greet me, plus the fact that he knew me right away! Thank you, Jesus!

I continued to be amazed throughout the day at how Mike was mentally. He was actually initiating a little bit instead of just responding. I walked with the PT and Mike back and forth in the hallway and we tried taking away the walker and just walking beside him, but he asked to have the walker back. He looked for a trashcan to throw away his tissue and he told me he wanted a piece of gum. Such a huge difference from even the week before. I assume medication is continuing to get out of his system, plus I believe in the power of God through the many prayers lifted up for Mike.

Back in late November or early December, as a result of a Bible study lesson on praying specifically, I took it a bit too far and was placing a time frame on my prayers for Mike. I wasn't really comfortable with it (a sure sign it wasn't from God), but I prayed that way for a few weeks anyway. (I believe it would be called desperation - "God please do something before the end of the year!") Ugh...😕

One of the women in the Bible study spoke of praying Scripture. It's something I have tried to do in the past, but never got very far. One day I asked her if she would show me more specifically how to do it and get me started. Wow! It has opened up a whole new dimension in my prayer life and walk of faith. I began praying Psalm 91:14 for Mike.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him..."

I prayed "Lord, because Mike loves you, please rescue him from his damaged brain and body." That's the prayer that I tacked the time limit onto. After the few weeks, I called my dear friend in North Carolina and asked her what she thought. She said: "Uh...Jennifer, you know we can't put a time limit on God. It has to be in His time." Yes, yes I knew that. So I removed the time limit and inserted: "...in your time and in your way." I text that change to my friend on December 24. It has been my prayer since then. Plus I know so many of you continue to pray for Mike and me, as well. Insert the changes in Mike since Autumn and the changes in just the last week and there is so much answered prayer. 

Then God confirmed it this morning during my time with Him. I picked up a small book of inspirational readings, called Moments of Peace in the Presence of God published by Bethany House. It was given to me this Christmas and I've been reading it sporadically. The book mark was on a page entitled "Answered Prayers". What brought me on my face before God was the following: 

"At those times when God is silent, you must place your hope in two mighty truths: the truth of God's sovereignty and the truth of his faithfulness. God answers all your prayers, but always in his own time and in his own way."

I could hardly believe I was reading the very words I'd been praying. How does God do that? I don't read that book every day, but there was the reading that was so appropriate and had the words I had been praying. They just had more emphasis by adding "own". This was definitely a sovereign-God moment. A moment when He showed me, once again, that He is in control, He is listening, and He is answering. I believe God is answering our prayers for Mike in His own time and in His own way. 

Mike also read Scripture*, sang hymns with us and prayed a short prayer, plus he never seemed tired. Usually by 3 or 4 in the afternoon, he is not able to function cognitively very well and reverts back to his humming oh. He didn't do that yesterday. We got him settled in his room with his Bible and we headed home. A truly miraculous and amazing day!

Psalm 66:20

Praise be to God,

who has not rejected my prayer

or withheld his love from me!

*Click on the link to see a video of Mike reading Psalm 111.

A Most Unusual Christmas

I had a very unusual, but joyous Christmas. In order to have the noon meal with Mike, I needed to leave before 9:00am. Dad had a rough night so was sleeping soundly in the morning, but I woke him up anyway so that they could open their gifts before I left. I had created a couple of special gifts for them and was excited to see them opened. It was a bit rushed, but we had a few minutes together and then I was on the road.

At The Harbor, I wheeled Mike from the dining room to a seating area in the hall and there gave him his gifts. I should have saved the book until I was ready to leave, because as soon as he opened it, all he wanted to do was read. Maybe due to the book, he was not as interactive as he had been during the last 2 visits, but He had a fairly good day.

We were able to v-chat with his Mom and both of our boys and their families, plus talked with his Dad. Mike didn't do much talking, but at least we made contact. Dinner was OK. Maybe the regular cook was on vacation which is a good thing!

Since Mike was preoccupied with his book, I went through all of his stuff, organizing and throwing out as needed. There had been quite an accumulation of magazines, other folks clothing, coloring books, stuffed animals, shoes, etc.  I know it won't last, but it made me feel better and gave me something to do. Mike would watch me and then back to reading.

I left after 4 pm and enjoyed a very relaxed evening and a light supper with my Aunt and my cousin. We talked, laughed, enjoyed our meal and watched a movie. It had been a full day and I went to bed very tired and content.

On Tuesday, all of my sisters and some of their children and grands came to the farm. We had a fun and chaotic time with our annual While Elephant exchange on Wednesday night, playing games, and trying to feed 28 people (half the amount of people that could have been here). Everyone left on Thursday and it's been rather quiet since, except during the football bowl games. Way to go VT Hokies! What in the world happened OSU Buckeyes?

On Friday I called and tried to talk with Mike, but that rarely works. It didn't that day either. However, yesterday I received a call from my favorite med tech, C. She said "Someone wants to talk to you." Here's how the conversation went (bold letters because Mike has one volume - yell!):

Mike: "SONGS OF CHRISTMAS, HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING, JINGLE BELLS, AWAY IN A MANGER!"

Me: "Do you want to sing one of those songs?"

silence

I hear C in the background. C: "Tell Jennifer that you went to church today."

Mike: "HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING, AWAY IN A MANGER, IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!"

Me singing: "Hark the herald angels sing - sing with me Mike, you know the words - glory to the newborn King."

Mike: "SONGS OF CHRISTMAS, HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING, JINGLE BELLS, AWAY IN A MANGER!"

Me: "Did you go to church?"

Mike: "YES! HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING, AWAY IN A MANGER, IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!"

Even though he was stuck, at least he was stuck on something different than normal and it was a joyful conversation just to hear him excited about the songs and reading from the program of the church service that was held at The Harbor yesterday morning. It is also the reason that C is my favorite. The fact that she would take the time out of her busy schedule to look up my number and call, because she knew it would bring me joy to hear Mike's excitement. That type of thing is what makes her an excellent caregiver and very special to me.

I hope each of you had a special Christmas season in one way or another. Mine was unusual and spread out and fun and chaotic and relaxing and memorable and most of all precious since I had the privilege of being with so many wonderful people. 

With. That reminds me of the real reason for Christmas. The celebration of Jesus' birth. Immanuel, God with us. Isn't it amazing that the God of the universe sent His only Son to be with us?  Not only that, but He also made a way for us to one day be with Him through His Son's death and resurrection. It boggles my mind that He desires a relationship with us, but He truly does and He paid a huge price to draw us to Himself. What a precious gift!

Matthew 1:23 (ESV)

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,

    and they shall call his name Immanuel”

(which means, God with us).