Beyond Blessed

We have been beyond blessed this week at AH&R. Tuesday Mom R., Lynn and I were there to encourage Mike during PT. He didn't seem to want to walk at first. He would stand for just a few seconds and then lean heavily back to sit on the bed and then the wheelchair; however, the PT, Danielle, didn't give up and we were all cheering him on. Each time he stood a bit longer and then did take a few steps, and then a few more, and then went about 20 feet down the hall. Thank you, Jesus! Great work, Mike! I am so thankful for Danielle for multiple reasons. Because he kept doing a little more each time, she realized that he was probably stiff at first and it would be helpful for her to warm up his leg with a few exercises before getting him to stand. I really appreciate the fact that she was tuned into non-verbal Mike and figured out what was going on. She also informed us that insurance had approved Mike until July 30 without knowing that he had walked. She had been prepared last Monday to amend her report if they had denied further therapy, because he had walked 3 hours after the deadline for that report. Since they approved him through the 30th anyway, now she can report the walking on tomorrows report. Yay! Friday she said Mike had walked about 30 feet down the hall.

We took Mike outside on the deck for a change of scenery and then OT, Bill, came to work with Mike. His lunch tray was brought out to us and Bill tried different ways of giving Mike smaller portions and allowing him to feed himself. He did fairly well, still shoveling it in too quickly, but was chewing and had solid foods. Praise God! More answered prayer! He had pork chop which we decided was a little too hard for him to handle, but I'm so glad they are allowing him to try different solid foods to see what he can manage. I am also thankful that he has a male working with him in a largely female staff environment. Bill agreed that Mike could feed himself with some portion control by staff and that it would take some staff training to understand Mike's needs.

Friday when I was there, Bill came in and wanted to see if he could get Mike to stand in the bathroom by holding onto the grab bars. Mike grabbed and stood, no problem. Then we went into the hall and removed the foot rests from the wheelchair to see if Mike would self-propel. He took a few small steps, but then was stepping with the left and the right was getting left behind and going under the wheelchair. I would lift his right leg and we'd do it over again. Bill left to get some moleskin to cover a rough part of the chair and while he was gone, an elderly lady passed us propelling herself in her wheelchair. I pointed out how she was doing it by activating the wheel with her hands and moving her feet. I moved Mike's hands to the wheels and he started slowly moving down the hall. He was doing well by the time Bill came back. Bill - "Wow! He'll do it for you." Me - No, he's competitive and that little lady just passed him in the hall! 😄 We worked our way toward the dining hall, maybe 20 ft. and by then he was tired, so I retrieved the foot rests. Bill sees improvement, but is frustrated that he's only scheduled to work with Mike for 30 minutes, so was going to ask if he could have 45 minutes with him. Yay again!

Tuesday afternoon the Psychiatrist's, PA came by Mike's room and we talked medication. They really wanted to get him off of Haldol and I'm all for it. I also asked about trying to get him off of Amantadine and she was going to ask the doctor about that. Friday I asked for his medication list and Haldol is gone and on 8/5 the Amantadine will be cut in half. I'm cautiously excited about this. Please pray that by getting him off of some medication, he will cognitively be better and won't have any behavioral repercussions. I've never been able to get rid of the thought that he's on too much medication. I wonder if his brain might be better than we know, but the medication doesn't let what's healed show. I've asked every doctor we've had about cutting back on medication, we've tried some (with varying results, bad & good), but most are hesitant to cut back. I'm pleased that AH&R is not trying to keep him sedated and are closely reviewing what he's taking. Oh, and Tylenol is scheduled regularly!

Friday as I was putting the foot rests on, a lady wheeled to the door of her room and told me that on Thursday Mike was sitting by the nurses station and she sat by him and talked to him for a while. I am touched by her kindness and pleased that everyone is not passing him by. It's one of the reasons I like this place. Since they don't all have dementia related conditions, conversations can take place. Mike's roommate is a kindly, elderly gentleman. He's a bit hard to understand, but I try to talk with him for a bit each visit. All he does is lie in his bed. The staff try to get him up, but he declines all attempts. Please keep Mr. A in your prayers also.

Mike and I finally arrived at the dining room Friday and his tray had a hot dog with chili, baked beans, coleslaw, thickened water & milk, and a piece of honey-bun cake. I cut up the hot dog and fed him at first. Once I realized he had stopped his "omm" and seemed calm, I pushed the tray in front of him and he fed himself the rest. He did so well! Yes, he put too much on the spoon, but some usually fell in his lap before getting to his mouth and he was taking his time and chewing. Lynn had told him to chew 32 times, maybe he was remembering her words. The kitchen staff were very attentive and helpful. They prepared a second plate for him, but I thought that was a bit too much, so one of the women brought him a second helping of coleslaw and a serving of pasta salad. He ate it all, no surprise there. I was so blessed by how calmly he was eating. I'm sure he was enjoying the solid food after eating pureed for so long. Maybe that was part of the reason he was eating slower.

I am so impressed with AH&R. Each person that has worked with Mike seems to genuinely like what they do, has a desire to see Mike improve, and gets as excited as we do when he shows progress. They are all busy, but have treated Mike and me with respect and courtesy and I don't feel like we are a bother. Of course, God knew exactly where Mike needed to be.

I received a letter from DSS stating what verification information is needed for Mike's Medicaid application, so I hope to get an appointment with them this week to take the information they requested. On July 31, I will meet with Mike's care team at AH&R to discuss his therapy and long-term plans. At this point, I am hoping that they will be willing to keep him there, but if not, then I know God has something better planned.

We are 6 years, 3 months, and 4 days into this TBI journey. On Wednesday of this week, I was weary. It was one of those days when I was so completely human. Tired, still a bit sick, questioning, at loose ends, sad. My aunt left that morning, so I had packed a few things to bring over to Mom's since I would be staying at night and spending most of my time here. I was looking forward to it, because it meant a routine, structure, time with Mom - sweet, quiet, gentle Mom - Mom & me. Calmness after all the chaos and upheaval of the past few months and especially the past few weeks after Dad's death and Mike's fall. Normalcy. Yet the first day, I couldn't find a rhythm, my brain was sluggish and I didn't feel like doing anything. So much was different, and yet so much was the same.

In my packing "a few things", I looked through my books and picked up The Voice of the Martyrs - Extreme Devotion book (actually it's my son, Keegan's book - I've had it a VERY long time - sorry Keegan!) I read 3 of the devotions and was encouraged. Here were Christians who were imprisoned for their faith, beaten, eyes put out with hot irons, harsh torture, unspeakable suffering, and death because they refused to deny Christ and tell where their precious Scriptures were hidden. They lived life ready for what might come, knowing horrible pain was possible. They endured for the sake of Christ.

There are so many lessons in what I read, but what helped me most was on Day 3. I had been thinking I have nothing to complain about compared to these persecuted Christians and martyrs. Their suffering is beyond compare and is for their stand for the Gospel of Jesus in countries where this is not acceptable. I live in luxury, freedom, comfort and peace. This in itself bolstered me - quit having a pity-party. The reading on Day 3 spoke of a pastor who had a bag of spare clothes and a blanket packed, because he believed he would be arrested that day. He was. His heart and mind were prepared too for whatever came. Here is the paragraph that brought me so much encouragement:

"Readiness is a sign of commitment. Commitment that is unprepared to sacrifice is merely compromise in disguise. For example, consider the marriage commitment. It costs one's selfishness and deals a heavy blow to one's sense of independence. However, the result is a stronger marriage. Relationships that are not ready to sacrifice for the sake of commitment do not last. Compromise takes a steady toll and weakens our desire and ability to be committed. In the same way, the believer's commitment to Christ must exact a price in order to maintain its value. We must prepare for the test of our commitment by daily affirming that Christianity is worth it. It's worth spending our time in daily prayer. It's worth gathering for worship at church. It's worth enduring hardship and trial, abuse and even arrest for the privilege of maintaining our commitment without compromise."

I had grown weary and, like Peter, looked at the waves instead of the Savior and it was taking me under. I have so much to be thankful for in the midst of trial, sickness, change, etc., and like these persecuted Christians, I needed to keep my eyes on the victor, the Christ and being obedient to Him. This life is temporary. God has given me the strength and ability to stay committed to Mike and our marriage without compromise these 6+ years. Plus, in Christ, there is always the hope of healing. Never give up hope. A year or a little more into this journey, I received a letter from friends of one of my sisters. They believed that Mike would be healed in the 7th year. Seven - the perfect number, in the Bible a lot. God has not promised me that Mike will be healed here, but I believe it is possible. You know the crazy thing? Mike is now in the town where these friends live. I find that amazingly interesting. What are you up to, God? I want to be ready.

I Peter 4:12

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial

you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you."

Great News!!

Great News! Great News!  Mike walked today!

Mike's Mom and his sister, Lynn arrived from Ohio this afternoon just in time for his Physical Therapy session and were there to cheer him on as he walked for the first time since June 27th! All praise to the Lord for preparing this event!

Earlier today I spoke with the Therapy Director to see if we could schedule his therapy during a time when I could be there on some days. I asked how he was doing and she said all he had done so far was stand for 30-60 seconds. She also informed me that insurance was asking for a progress report since he has been there a week and I know that if he is showing no progress, then therapy and the insurance will cease. This would not be good in a couple of ways. Worst of all would be that Mike could end up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Second, since we do not have Medicaid to pay for skilled nursing yet, we would be in a real bind as to what to do.

By God's grace, I didn't freak out, but started praying. I knew Mom R. and Lynn were planning to come, I just wasn't sure if it was today. I text Lynn to see and about 11:30 they called and said they were about 3 hours away. Great! I called back to AH&R and praise God! Mike's PT was scheduled for 3:00 PM today. I told the staff that I spoke with that his Mom and sister were coming and I hoped would be in time for his PT session. I wasn't going today, just trying to make sure I'm not contagious before getting around so many people, but I was so hopeful that with Mom R. & Lynn there he might walk. I know that often Mike will do things for me or other family members that he won't do for staff, so was excited that Lynn and Mom R. would be there and possibly be the spark Mike needed to get moving. Lynn is very energetic and bubbly and Mike lights up when she's around. When I was praying around 3:00, the Lord reminded me of when we were at Wake Med in Raleigh and Mike stood for the first time since his accident. His Mom was there and he was so excited for her to see him standing and kept repeating "Look it Mom! Look it Mom!"

Those people he has known the longest in his life seem to be the ones he remembers the best and wants to impress. His Mom, sister, and brother. He has often thought I was his Mom and has called our son, Keegan, "Mark" many times. It's like he can't remember who we are so reverts to those he knows the best. He has called me "Lynn" also. Lynn is the only one who has really made him laugh since his 2012 accident. So thanks be to God for orchestrating the timing of their visit today! Lynn sent me a video of him walking from the bed to the door of his room. She was cheering him on all the way with Mom R. nearby. This was such a break-through today and I am so thankful! Maybe they will be the ones to get him talking again also. 

I am feeling better today. The voice is returning and the throat is not sore, just that bothersome, hacky cough every now and then. I am planning to meet them there tomorrow morning when Mike will have PT at 10 and OT at 11:30. Please continue to pray that Mike will progress in his walking and be able to safely get up from the bed or chair, plus eat soft rather than pureed foods. Also pray that his Medicaid application will move quickly through the system and be ready at the proper time.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support of us. I am truly grateful! Thank you, Jesus, for answered prayer today. I praise You!

Psalm 111:1&2

"Praise the Lord. 

I will extol the Lord with all my heart

in the council of the upright and in the assembly.

Great are the works of the Lord;

they are pondered by all who delight in them."

Medicaid, Mike, and Me

Thursday afternoon I had a very good meeting with a lawyer about an hour north of here. It's a small law firm that Mike's brother found online for me. Thank you, Mark! I am much more comfortable with a small firm than those mega-firms. I had worked for several hours each day to get all the information together in order to complete the pre-meeting questionnaire that included the past 5 years financial information. It was actually good as I needed to get bank statements balanced and up to date, because I had fallen behind in the past couple of months. It was also beneficial as I discovered that in 2014 I had failed to categorize several checks in Quicken. This was skewing the reports and needed to be rectified. Don't know how I had missed that previously, but at least it's fixed now. Just took time.

The lawyer seems to believe it will not be a problem to get Mike on Medicaid, since we have very little. Even his insurance and LTD from his previous employer should not pose a problem. I thought this was part of the hang-up when I applied previously, but evidently it was because Mike was not yet on Medicare at that time or something. I'm the one who stopped the process the first time, because I decided to keep Mike at home and realized Medicaid would not be helpful in that scenario. I also believe God prevented me and any organization from getting him on Medicaid previously, because The Harbor is not Medicaid approved and they were the ONLY facility willing to take him at that time 3 years ago. Our God is the Awesome God. Even Central State had told me that they were applying for Medicaid for Mike and I never heard any more about it. Where did his application go? God's messengers whisked it away, perhaps. 😊 It just wasn't the time.

I have spoken with the social worker at Appomattox Health & Rehab (AH&R) and she said I need to check with my local DSS office and see what other information they need from me. I assume it's basically what the lawyer wanted and so believe I'm ready to provide what they need, when they need it. My meeting with the lawyer gave me a lot of peace of mind and he would not even charge me for the hour he spent with me, even tho the papers I signed when I came in said there would be a charge. He is going to check one thing with the Commissioner of Accounts where I file my conservator paperwork each year, but said he didn't do anything yet, so no charge! Very kind act from one Christian to another and a blessing from the Lord.

On Wednesday, I was able to take Mike outside for a while. He was in a wheelchair and it's quite hilly right outside the building, so we didn't venture very far. I was afraid to go down a hill because we might get going too fast and then I might not be able to push him back up the hill either. I walked the halls with him a long time. A big difference between this facility and The Harbor is that this is not a locked facility and not everyone here has dementia or Alzheimer's, so it is nice to be able to communicate with some of the other residents as we roll around the halls. He also had a roommate on Wednesday, one hand-picked by God. Prayer works. His roommate is a kind, elderly gentleman that we'll call Mr. A. I don't know if he's there for rehab or long-term, but he was cold and was having trouble covering himself up, so I helped him a couple of times and he was most appreciative. He just tried to sleep most of the time I was around.

I thought Mike seemed a little better on Wednesday. He seemed to listen as I read our friend's newsletter to him, he ate soft foods (NOT all pureed!), and even helped me change his shirt. Still not talking. I know Speech Therapy had evaluated him on Tuesday and must have said he could have mechanical soft foods. He had mashed potatoes, green beans, and meatloaf. The ticket said minced green beans and meatloaf, but it wasn't. I broke up the meatloaf a bit more, but he handled the cut green beans and meatloaf very well. I'm sure he enjoyed them more than pureed. They certainly looked more enticing. I had hoped to be there when PT worked with him, but she was running late and I needed to go work on the papers for the lawyer the next day. I was able to speak with her and she said he had stood, but that was all on Tuesday. We talked about pain and I told her about him needing Tylenol scheduled. She was going to follow-up on that.

The facility was a busy place on Wednesday. Doctors and PA's, therapists, a reunion of those who had been there for rehab, plus all the regular RN's and CNA's, administrators, resident's rolling around, etc. It has a pleasant feel to it, friendly amid the chaos of call-button beeps, phones ringing, people talking and moving around. "That beeping would drive me crazy," I said to one of the nurses. I hear it even when I'm at home, she said. Ugh, poor people.

Friday I spent the day trying to catch up with my flowers and dispensing with the weeds that had overtaken my wildflower garden. I was weary of being on the road and seeing my flowers suffer and weeds thriving. I felt like I was on a time crunch since it was supposed to start raining Saturday night, so I packed about 3 days worth of work into one and my back told me about it too. Also, on Thursday night, I felt like I had gunk in my throat. By Friday morning my voice was mostly gone, but I didn't feel bad. Friday night, my body ached and my throat and head started hurting, plus I started having a dry, hacky cough.

I had planned to go see Mike on Saturday, but I was sick. I didn't go anywhere. When I got up, it was lightly raining. I was sad because I hadn't been able to finish cleaning out the weeds and put down the seed I had, but I was grateful to be lazy. I did set up the Media Shout program for the church service, thankful that Pat was going to run it on Sunday for me, since I was fairly sure I wouldn't be there. I went back to bed at 11:00AM and didn't arise until almost 2. About 2:30, it wasn't raining and I was needing to get outside. I seized the time, even though I didn't feel very good and spent a couple of hours finishing my wildflower garden. I praised the Lord for strength and holding off the rain until I could finish. Then let it rain! It did, last night and today off and on. The gauge says we've had about 3/4".

Today I slept in, read my Bible, looked at FB, watched all 5 sessions of the Ann Voskamp "One Thousand Gifts" DVD. Thanks, Bobbi! Plus even sketched a picture which I haven't done in years. My daughter-in-law, Amy, shared a darling photo of their two girls and I have wanted to try to sketch it, so I did. It doesn't look exactly like the pic, but it was fun and a nice change from my normal. I find it hard to truly rest and relax, but I believe God "made" me do it the past couple of days and I think I definitely needed it. I've told my Mom before that sometimes I don't have the sense God gave a turnip! 😄 Learn to be still, quiet, trust. This was the verse I read on Saturday night before I went to sleep:

Isaiah 30:15

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 

'In returning and rest you shall be saved; 

in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.' But you were unwilling,"

Lord, help me be more willing to be quiet, rest, return to you and trust. As always, You are working everything out for our good and I need to trust and to rest.

My Mom's sister, Lynn, has stayed with Mom ever since my sisters all returned to their own homes after Dad's service. What a blessing she has been to Mom and what peace of mind she has given me. Lynn being here has allowed me to take care of things for Mike without being concerned about my Mom and what a joy for my Mom to be able to spend this precious time with her sister. Thank you, Lynn! I've been able to rest at my little place, knowing that Mom is well cared for and not alone. Last night I rented and watched the movie "Same Kind of Different as Me" online. Today I set it up for Mom and Lynn to watch with the Chrome-cast we all gave Mom for her 89th birthday. A good movie based on a true story.  I read the book a few years ago.

With Mike being closer, he may even get more visitors. I'm thankful that Hugh and Tracey went by to see him on Friday as they headed out on their anniversary trip. Mom Rice and Lynn will be coming this week. I'm especially glad for these visits since I'm sick and don't want to share with the residents. Even in this, God provides. Why do I fret?

Several verses have helped me get through the past 3 weeks. Whenever I was overwhelmed and stressed or didn't want to do what I had to do, I repeated these over and over and over. I will leave you with them:

Philippians 4:13 

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

2 Corinthians 12:9a

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Isaiah 26:3

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." 

New Chapter

I arrived at Appomattox Health & Rehab about 1:30, completed necessary paperwork, spoke with the Therapy Director and started moving things into his room and finding a place for everything. I was pleased to see a big bulletin board where I could tack photos, grandchildren drawings, cards, etc.

Before I finished, Mike arrived. By now it's about 2:30. He was OK, but really stuck in his ommm. As the next hour moved on, his omm became stronger and louder and he began to grab his head.  I asked for Tylenol and the nurse soon arrived with it. I also asked for some yogurt which came quickly also. Mike was cleaned and changed by 2 very sweet young ladies and then he began to calm down and rested peacefully and quietly for about a half hour. He never fell asleep, but at least he looked comfortable.

Presently he is alone in a semi-private room. I'm praying that God will hand pick Mike's roommate. I'm hoping it's someone who doesn't have the TV on all the time and that Mike's humming omm won't irritate them. It was nice to be just us today. There is an almost constant beeping in the hall which is annoying to me, but I hope Mike can ignore it or will quickly get used to it.

A brief moment of peace.

The staff were all very southernly kind. I like that. Since it was his first day, I made sure I told everyone that he has to have thickened liquids and pureed food, at least for now and I stayed until I was sure he received his supper. It did come, just about 40 minutes later than it was supposed to come. That's not unusual in a hospital, so I wasn't too surprised that the same thing happened there. They had to get him in the computer and the kitchen had to be notified of the special preparation.

He ate well, as usual. He seemed to get agitated again after receiving his meds and eating supper. I wonder if something else is going on. He had calmed after receiving the Tylenol, but I've noticed since being in the hospital, that he gets agitated after his meds and eating, plus seems to regurgitate. I mentioned it in the hospital and I will ask the doctor at rehab about it also. The doctor will be there Wednesday.

This is such an easy drive compared to driving to Stanardsville! It's a straight shot on a 4 lane highway and half the amount of time. Thank you, Jesus!

Thank you for praying for Mike's transition. I believe the move went well. Therapy will begin tomorrow. I'm hoping he will be able to show improvement, and thus able to stay for several weeks. Pray that he will have the desire and ability to work through some pain and that the staff will be able to know when he needs pain medication.

Mental Respite & Praise

Today I took a mental rest. There were so many conversations replaying in my brain and the stress has been apparent in the pain between my shoulder blades for the past few days. After speaking with the case manager this morning and making an appointment with a different lawyer, I felt I had done all I needed to do in regards to Mike's placement and finances for today. I decided not to drive back to Charlottesville today either. I needed a therapy day for me which meant walking with Nancy and spending time in my neglected gardens. It felt so good to once again be physically active and let my mind rest from all the clamor. The aches in my body tonight are from a day of hard physical labor and I can see where I did something.  As I took a break for lunch, I realized the tension in my shoulders was gone and my mind felt lighter. My back wasn't too thrilled with the days activities, but it did me good in many other ways.

Yesterday.
The psychiatrist was not able to come see Mike, because she was out at nursing homes Thursday and Friday this week. Mike was in the hall when I arrived, calm, and omming. RN said he had Tramadol with breakfast. Good. Is Tylenol scheduled regularly now? No. No? Would you please ask about that or let me speak with the doctor? I've been asking since Monday. Yes, I will see that it is done.

I wheeled him around the halls several times and then the aide suggested I take him outside. What a great idea! Mike's tone did not change in or out, but maybe it still felt good to get outside for a little while.  About 11 Mike's tone did change. We were back inside by this time and I alerted the aide. After getting him back in bed, I could tell he was getting more anxious/fidgety or felt more pain/??? After lunch he seemed flushed and just uncomfortable, so I start asking about regular Tylenol again or if I could speak with a doctor. Pain med still not scheduled. I had noticed Mike being flushed and a bit shaky the night before also and I didn't know if it was a reaction to some medication or pain or what.  I wanted to talk with someone who knows these medications. Still no doctor. Grrr... I am not one to make a stink, but after speaking with the nurse twice and going to the nurses station to ask that a doctor be paged and still nothing happening, I got frustrated and sounded like it the second time I went to the desk. Within minutes there was a liaison in Mike's room asking what the problem was and letting me know that all of the doctors were either in surgery or clinic. I explained the problem and before she left the room, Tylenol was scheduled and Tramadol was also if there was evidence that it was necessary. The whole experience left me feeling irritable. I don't like being stinky, but nothing was happening. I was polite, just more forceful than I'm comfortable being and felt exhausted from the experience of trying to advocate for my husband who isn't able to talk right now.

Psalm 138:3 

"When I called, you answered me; 

you made me bold and stouthearted."

During our conversation on Wednesday with all those folks, the social worker informed us that she had received a call from Appomattox Health and Rehab that morning saying they had a couple of open beds which was quite unusual for their facility, and wondering if she had any referrals. The case manager sent them Mike's information and yesterday morning they showed interest, but were concerned that he is on Haldol. After some further conversations, they came back about noon saying they would take him, even with the Haldol, if they received Medicare authorization. Glimmers of hope.

Nancy and I came home via Appomattox in order to tour the facility. It is small and personal, feels more like a hospital than The Harbor did, but I have to remember that this is skilled nursing and long-term, not assisted living. It was clean with no offensive smell and I had read several really good reviews online. Hope is growing.

This afternoon, just as I finished my work outside and was heading in for a shower, the case manager called and said Medicare has given approval and Mike will be medically transported on Monday morning. Praise the Lord Jesus!! Woo Hoo!!! Hope realized - Rehab placement is complete. Now to get him there, settled and working hard to walk again. Then I can focus on getting him on Medicaid and long-term will come later.

Thank you so much for all your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. The rehab program sounds really great at Appomattox, no surprise, God worked it out for Mike's best.

This morning I was reading Psalm 138. The following verses became a prayer:

Psalm 138:6-8

"Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly, (like Mike and me)

but the proud he knows from afar.

Though I (Mike & I) walk in the midst of trouble,

you preserve my (our lives) life;

you stretch out your hand against the anger of my (our) foes,

with your right hand you save me (us).

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me (us);

your love, O Lord, endures forever --

do not abandon the works of your hands.

The Lord will not abandon the works of His hands. His purposes will be fulfilled. He is preserving our lives even though we are in the midst of trouble. He is with us and looking upon us and saving us. Praise be to God!

Prayer Focus Change

Often God's plans are not our plans or our hopes, they are usually much better, but patience is required. Right now it's hard to see the better, but I believe it to be true. He is trustworthy, so I will trust Him, even when I don't see.

We still don't have a place for Mike to go. He's still at UVA. Amelia was obviously not it, but we/I learned a great deal in the process of being denied by them which helps as we move forward. And we will move forward, it's a matter of when and where.

This morning my friend, Nancy drove up with me and Gayle and Tom met us at The Harbor. We packed all of Mike's things, said good-bye, and I shed a few tears. The staff there have treated Mike and me well, it is a beautiful and clean facility, and I will miss the people there. It is the end of a three year chapter of our lives, but I am hopeful that this new chapter will find Mike closer to me and receiving the therapy that he needs to walk again, plus gentle and kind caregivers, like he has had at The Harbor.

Many conversations have taken place in the last few days. Here's a brief outline:

Monday
Case manager - Grace won't take him because The Harbor won't commit to take him back.
Me - speechless
The Harbor, L & B - Want to take him back, but he needs, no deserves therapy and may need more care after therapy than we can provide. Not saying won't take him back, but can't promise.
Me - ahhh, understood
Case manager & L - main stumbling block for all rehab is after therapy, then where and how will it be paid for? NEED Medicaid!

Mike seems in pain, agitated, can't relax
Me - is he getting pain med regularly?
RN - no, PRN (as needed)
Me - uhh, he's non-verbal. I think he needs it regularly scheduled. Would you ask about that?
RN - ok
She wasn't our best nurse, so I stayed til the night shift and asked again. Then drive home to start Medicaid process.

Tuesday
Spent the morning gathering info and applying for Medicaid. Talk with Liesa about Amelia, The Harbor, Grace, strategies, locked versus unlocked facilities, etc. Looks like this could take a while. UVA can't kick him out til there's a safe place for him to go.
Me - so guess I should come get his things?
L - yes, probably best, though we hate to see y'all go.
Me - contact a previously used law office to try to get help understanding all of this or to try to speed up the process. They can't see me till July 23.  Maybe I'll look elsewhere. Know a good Medicaid lawyer? Let me know, ASAP!

Wednesday
Case manager - sent out 60 referrals, some don't have beds, most want to know plan for after and if we have Medicaid. Long term can be $9,000/month!
Me - $9,000?!?!!
Social worker, a man from a facility, case manager, Nancy and me - talk, brain storm, what to do??? We're all doing all we know to do.

I'll stay on DSS and try to do whatever it takes to get Mike on Medicaid ASAP. Does the government ever move fast?

Case manager will continue to search and now can say "Medicaid pending".

Mike was sitting in the hall when we arrived today. "Ommm, ommm". We rolled him around the halls for a good while. I shaved him, cleaned his face, brushed his teeth. Back in bed he slept a little. Still not on regular pain med, not even Tylenol. Go through whole thing again. I trimmed his nails. Meds including pain med and supper, then he was agitated. Pain med or ??? He's not talking to me at all. So frustrating. However, spoke with PT and they did get him up and he took a few steps at the parallel bars. Yay! Yet they still think pain is the barrier to doing more.

Going to contact the psychiatrist that has been with him at The Harbor and knows his baseline. She works at UVA. Maybe she can help.

At this point I'm praying for God's will and keeping the faith. No specifics, I'll leave that to Him.

I have to believe that God works all things together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose. That gives me hope. I'm seeking to be His witness always.

Thank you for praying.

2nd Chance?

Please pray, pray, pray!

It's way too much to go into at this late hour, but I specifically need your prayers for a second chance at Amelia Rehab and that I can quickly get the process of applying for Medicaid rolling. I hope that it will roll fast toward approval without too many bumps and potholes. I've done what I could tonight, but time to quit.

I praise God for the two wonderful women at The Harbor, who are going to bat for us. It was a very discouraging day, but they are giving me hope.

Mike seemed uncomfortable and spit up a couple times. I asked for pain med for him and he was a bit calmer when I left tonight. Please, lift him up. I'm so sorry he has to deal with so much pain without even being able to tell us where it hurts or what's wrong. It's so hard to see him like this with no communication.

Thank you for praying.

Where to next, Lord?

Mark & Jenney (Mike's brother & sister-in-law)

Mike is still at UVA Hospital and we do not yet have a rehab or skilled nursing facility for him. It looks like Amelia is not going to work out for long-term, due to the financing that we receive through the DAP (Discharge Assistance Program). They only work with Medicaid and private pay. He could possibly go there for rehab, because Medicare would probably approve that, but then we would have to transition to another facility or back to The Harbor. I would like to avoid that if at all possible.

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The case manager at the hospital is looking into other places within an hour radius of our zip-code and if that doesn't work, we will see if Grace Rehab right beside The Harbor has bed space and he would go there for rehab and then back to The Harbor. Amelia was also concerned that Mike has been in a locked facility and they do not have a locked area. The nurse and administrator at The Harbor do not think a locked facility is necessary now, since Mike has declined significantly in the 3 years he's been there. He is not as mobile and does not move around on his own except in the wheelchair. 

This news has been unsettling and I was discouraged yesterday, plus had a bit of a meltdown this morning as I prayed and cried. But GOD is still sovereign and has a plan and I realized that I was putting a timeline on things instead of waiting on God and His perfect timing and placement. 

Sitting in the Stryker
 in the hall

Mike is alright and receiving great care and will remain at UVA through the weekend. This is actually a huge blessing since my Dad's visitation is tonight and his Celebration of Life service is tomorrow. Family will be here all weekend and I can relax and enjoy the remembrance of Daddy and the family reunion. Physical Therapy continues to come in daily and get Mike up with the Sara Stedy. He pops up to stand, but then quickly wants to sit back, pain is obvious. PT believes he will walk again, just probably not before he leaves the hospital. She believes that if his pain is managed better, that he would be able to put forth the effort needed. I believe the Oxycodone is making his head feel weird (he grabs and claws at his head), so the nurse was going to confer with the doctor and try something else. We tried just Tylenol, but it is not enough when PT starts working with him. 

Thank you for all the prayers and love shown to me and my family this week. I know the reason I don't completely fall apart is due to prayers and the strength of the Lord Jesus. 

The suction tube has become a pacifier.

Peaceful Passing

Daddy left this world to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ, peacefully on Monday, July 2, a little after noon. He will be missed and remembered well. Once again he is walking, dancing, and praising God!

I love you, Daddy and will see you again. Then we'll worship Jesus together and dance on the streets of gold.

Would you believe it?

Last night as I was driving back to the hotel from the hospital, I realized I was going over the speed limit. I thought to myself - if a policeman stops me and asks if I'm in a hurry, I wonder if he will believe me when  I tell him all the things that are going on right now in my family.

Let me back up. Wednesday night I received a call from The Harbor saying that Mike had fallen. They had checked all of his vitals and he seemed fine. On Thursday, about noon, I received a call from the nurse, Beth. She said Mike seemed to be in pain when he tried to put weight on his right leg and they were calling a mobile imaging service to come and x-ray his right hip. She was just getting there that day and had not seen him yet. Shortly after that call, she called me back and said she was sending him to the ER because she thought his color did not look good either.

The short version is he was sent to the ER and had surgery the next morning because he had broken the top part of his femur. It was not at the ball and socket so they were able to put two plates on the femur and one screw. Thursday night in the ER he was talking some to me. Since the surgery he has not talked except his perseverative "ommm". We can tell he is in pain when he grabs his head or is restless. It's hard to tell if the pain medicine is making his head feel weird or it's just his reaction to pain in his leg. He does not like moving his right leg.

PT and OT came yesterday afternoon and this morning. They sat Mike up in the bed and he did ok, but then they decided to get a Stryker chair. It's like a stretcher that can then be gently transitioned to a chair position. So they transferred him from bed to the stretcher, then slowly sat him up. He "ommmed" but then settled down. Sat up for about 1.5 hours total yesterday before we got him back in bed. The RN and I rolled him out to the window, I fed him his supper and he started getting agitated. It took about 15 minutes for the nurse to come and I kept lowering the back a little and he was sort of ok. Back in the room, he just couldn't settle down. There were visitors with his roommate, then the blood infusion machine started beeping, he had to be changed and then finally all became quiet and he was out. Had been awake all afternoon and it was about 7 by then.  He was restless today, but sat up twice in the Stryker for about an hour each time.

Here's what else is going on in our world:
My father has been in a rather steady decline since a fall the end of March. Hospice came and started working with us in mid-april. In the last two weeks he has had a more drastic decline and we expect his passing any day or hour now. Mike is in a hospital about 2 hours away from my parents. I am so thankful that we have a fairly large family and one of my sisters was there when I got the call about Mike, so I was free to leave.

My brother was also out of town, because his mother-in-law passed away on Tuesday morning in Tennessee. Her funeral was yesterday and now my brother and niece are driving home and expect to get there about 2 A. M.

There are some other health issues and concerns on the Rice side of the family, but I won't get into that now.  As you can see, there's been lots of reasons to lean on Jesus and allow him to carry us all through. Although it was hard to leave my parents right now, the Lord has given me a real peace that I am right where I need to be - beside my husband. Mom, Gayle and Carol are at Daddy's side tonight.

Mike may be discharged from the hospital tomorrow, if they can get him up and trying to take a few steps. This is where there is some possibly exciting news. Because Mike will have to go to a rehabilitation or skilled nursing home for Rehab, Beth suggested that now might be a good time to try to transition him to a facility closer to home. So while Mike was in surgery, Thursday morning, I was praying and sending out texts asking for people to pray and if they knew of good facilities near us. I knew I wanted to check in to the one in Amelia, because I already know someone there with brain injury and the family seems to be happy with his care. Excitement started to build when three of the people I text all said something about Amelia. Even the marketing director at The Harbor had already spoken to somebody at the Amelia facility. It seemed to me God was directing us there.

The case manager was able to forward some information to the administrator on Friday afternoon, so we will talk more tomorrow. I do not know if they have room, if they will accept him, or if they take the funding that we have available. Please pray about all these points. Right now Mike is over 2 hours away from me. The facility in Amelia is only 25 minutes away from me. I do hope and have been praying since Thursday that this is where God will lead us and that he will fling the doors wide open for us to move Mike there directly from the hospital and that Mike will transition and settle in well. I would definitely be able to see him a lot more often, which should help the transition also.

Please excuse any typos or lack of punctuation. I am speaking a lot of this into my phone and trying to correct it, but I'm getting tired and it's time to quit.

I so appreciate your prayers for Mike, me, and both sides of our family. This has been my verse the last few days:

Throw wide the gates so good and true people can enter. People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don’t quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.
Isaiah 26:2‭-‬4 MSG