A Gift

This past weekend was one of those times when I was really missing my husband. I was missing the companionship, sharing concerns and joys, talking and sharing about what the Lord is teaching us and just being together. To be honest, Mike and I didn't always have the best or easiest marriage. It really took work and a concerted effort to decide to love each other even when we didn't always feel in love. There were other times when I think we knew we loved each other, but didn't really like each other all that much. Maybe you understand this, maybe you don't. What we had going for us; however, is that we both loved Jesus and so even when we were at odds with each other, we continued to look to Jesus, and through that commonality we would always draw back towards each other. In other words, Jesus was and is the glue that has held Mike and I together for 31 years. I have no regrets about sticking it out through thick and thin. I do have regrets of not always loving and respecting my husband as I should. I have given those regrets to the Lord and asked for forgiveness. My encouragement to you who are married is to cherish that relationship, speak encouraging words to each other, (like the old song says "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative"), let go of the small stuff (and there's lots of small stuff really), find simple ways to please your spouse, look for ways to be together,  and above all place the Lord Jesus front and center always. It's amazing that when we focus on Christ and what He endured because of His love for us, all that seemed so important suddenly fades away and we often see just how selfish we are.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 

For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, 

and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, 

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Anyway, a wave of missing Mike had swept over me on Saturday and Sunday and I've been praying more fervently for God to restore him from his bed of illness (Psalm 41:3). He's had a rough few weeks. The hyper-activity was still prevalent and after speaking with Dr. B., it was decided to increase (not decrease) the Depakote. The doctor was concerned that lowering the dose would make Mike worse and said we would know within a few days if increasing the medication made Mike more hyper and go from there. The very next day I received a call that Mike had gotten the window in his room open, broke the screen, threw his family photos and Bible out the window and was trying to crawl out. At least his thinking is clearer and he was taking what was important to him! I called every couple of days to check on him and he was mainly hyper like he was when I was there, not really more hyper or less hyper, except for the window incident. Monday I spoke with the head nurse and she said he was still walking fast down the hall and they had a few incidents of him grabbing someone's arm, but she thought he might be a bit calmer. We both agree that we much prefer to see him this way rather than lying in bed half the day and falling when he was up and around.

Now that he is more physically stable, I decided to get him an appointment with an optometrist for new glasses. (He's lost or broken 4 pair in the past 3.5 years, so I've been slow to get more.) The Wal-mart in Ruckersville has an optometrist there 3 days a week. Monday I made an appointment online for Tuesday afternoon. When I arrived at The Harbor, Mike was sitting quietly in the dining room waiting for lunch, he was not repeating "o", he answered questions appropriately, we sang Christmas carols, he read some missionary newsletters that I brought, and was not frantic when his food came. This was fabulous!! At the doctor's office, he tried to cooperate and follow instructions and was not impatient. He needed extra prompting or additional instruction for some things, but so much calmer - it was amazing! 

Since he was doing so well, we walked to the other side of Wal-mart so that he could get a haircut. When the stylist asked if he liked his haircut, he said "it makes my wife happy". Ha! :-) Just for him to be "with it" enough to say something like that is so huge. He even asked me twice if I was cold. Usually he seems oblivious to others, so this was such a great day.

By now it was almost 3:00 and I hadn't had any lunch yet. I was hungry and Mike is always hungry, so I suggested we get something to eat. Mike usually wants a burger so we were headed to McDonald's when he saw a Subway and wanted to go there. I wasn't sure he'd be able to handle a sub sandwich, but he was super calm, so why not? He ate a 6" chicken sub, a bag of chips, 1/2 of my tuna salad, drank a bottle of orange juice, plus ate a piece of fruitcake with wine jelly and custard that I brought from home. Remember that he had eaten his entire plate at The Harbor at noon! He did fantastic, I kept reminding him to eat slowly and chew carefully and he did great. 

Back at The Harbor, one of the CNAs told me Mike had been super cooperative that morning while showering which is very unusual. She was saying how she would sure like to know what he is thinking on those days when he is so agitated. We have no idea what combination made yesterday such a calm, cooperative, clear day, but it was wonderful. A true gift from God. Mike was so pleasant to be with and after 3.5 years, I don't take those days for granted. I am so thankful that I was able to be with him yesterday on an extremely great day. He will probably never be like he was prior to the accident, but I am so thankful for an easy, relaxed, calm day with him whenever I can get it. God knew my heart's desire and provided a balm to soothe the ache. Yesterday I had a fun day with my husband.

So, go hug your spouse (or a loved one), tell them you love them, speak words of affirmation to them, and thank the Lord for every minute you are given the privilege of enjoying their company. It is a gift.