I knew it had been a long time since I wrote, but didn't realize it had been 3 months. Life has been busy and days seem to go much too quickly. I'll give a brief account of Fall happenings, but first the medical reports.
In late summer, early Fall, I noticed that Mike looked so thin. I usually see him every week, but due to various things I had not seen him for 3 weeks and the difference was quite noticeable when I walked in. When I inquired about his weight, he had indeed lost way too much weight. That morning he weighed 127 lbs. He's 5'11", I'm 5'4" and that was less than me! The nurses and CNAs said he was eating everything as usual and received an Ensure 3X/day, but didn't always drink those. Previously, I had asked the dietitian if the slurried peanut butter & jelly sandwiches could be added as a snack in the afternoon and supposedly they were being given to him from time to time. He also gets a double portion at meal time and eats it all. Of course, it is the pureed food, so not the most appetizing.
The doctor ran blood work and some other tests, but there was no apparent reason for the loss in weight. He said that often in dementia patients, around the 7th year after the onset, there is "failure to thrive" and one of the main indications is loss of appetite, but Mike was eating. It was a mystery. The only thing I had noticed was that Mike didn't want to drink as much as he used to and we cannot force him to drink. Over the next few weeks, he did begin to gain and last time I asked he had gained 6 lbs. Still underweight for him, but at least he is gaining. One day I brought him yogurt and gave that to him after lunch, but obviously it was too much as it all came back up within the next hour. It is a difficult balancing act when he does not have the ability to say when he's full or hungry.
The Psych NP no longer comes to the facility, so I am working more closely with the MD who visits the facility regularly. I am thankful for this as he wants to do the same thing I've wanted and get Mike off of some of the psychotropic medications, plus he's there a couple of times every week. The Psych NP was only there every 3 weeks. It's a different doctor from when Mike first came to Appomattox and I guess it's my fault I hadn't communicated with him more. You would think after all this time I would know how to navigate the system, but I don't. It seemed to me that Mike was put under the Psych NP and she's the one who always contacted me about Mike's medication or problems, I was never referred to Dr. Gezen before, but should have asked.
Probably the biggest difference or change of focus is to make Mike more comfortable. For over a year now and various medication changes, there's been little to no change. Mike omms, looks restless, doesn't walk or talk, can't feed himself or help with any of his activities of daily living (ADLs), doesn't seem to know me from anyone else and needs total care for all of his needs. I told the doctor I would like to see Mike more comfortable. Dr. Gezen said if it was him, he would hope his family gave him something to make him feel good, not just comfortable. He said often the psych drugs don't make people feel good. His recommendation was to give Mike pain medication and decrease the psych medication. It sounded like a good plan to me, so over the past couple of weeks he has begun to implement these changes. My desire is to see Mike calmer and hope these changes will facilitate that and indeed make Mike feel better.
I have also had some health concerns - two of which are why I'm not trying to walk with Mike anymore. The last few times I tried to walk with him, involved a lot of straining to get him up and he didn't really want to walk, plus was more uncoordinated in walking and needed more assistance. I have scoliosis and for years have managed it with fairly regular visits to the Chiropractor and almost daily yoga stretching. Fall around the farm is a very busy time, I'm older (imagine that!) and finding that my back can't handle as much anymore. I lifted heavy pots as I decorated the farm for the festival, moved pumpkins from here to there, helped put up tents, stood for long hours at admissions on the weekends and then sat too much doing bookkeeping during the week, etc. I also neglected my practice of stretching in the mornings and did not go to see the Chiropractor for several months. This all resulted in pain that ran across my lower back and over my left hip to the point of causing trouble walking when the pain grabbed me.
After about a week and the pain bringing me to tears at times, I went to an Urgent Care where they did a CT scan, the first one I've ever had. The scan showed that my scoliosis is at 60 degrees (or is it percent?), I have degenerative disc disease, and my L4 & L5 are compressed. I was given anti-inflammatory medication and muscle relaxers. That week I went to see the Chiropractor and resumed my yoga stretching as I could bear it. My stomach didn't like the medicine very much, but I was able to take the anti-inflammatory for a few days. This all started the end of October and I am so thankful to report that after 3 visits to the Chiroprator and resuming my daily yoga practice, I am free of that grabbing pain and only occasionally take an Aleve. Praise God! I did go see a back doctor, but was doing so well by then that he said just keep doing what I was doing!
Reason #2 may seem strange to share, but my life's been a fairly open book for over 7 years now, so...the second reason I don't walk with Mike now is that I have stage 3 prolapsed bladder and will need surgery in the new year. Lifting, pushing and pulling anything is not a good idea for me at all.
Regarding Fall Festival on the farm - it was a HUGE success and we were almost overwhelmed by the number of people that came out to experience farm life and visit the Creamery in October. OK, we were overwhelmed, but in a good way and thanks to T.R. & Brittany's great organization and all the workers and volunteers, I believe people had a great time. Including the little ones, 2 years old and under, we had 2 or 3 days of over 1,000 people come through per day! Then there were school tours every day of the week, but I didn't help with those. After talking with so many people at admission, I lost my voice the last Saturday of the Festival and I still cannot sing the high notes I usually can. It's wonderful to see families enjoying the great outdoors and learning about agriculture and specifically dairy, but I will have to be more careful next year and limit some of my involvement.
In late summer, we had the joyous news that our oldest son landed a job in NC. Yay! His wife and children came in early October and stayed here on the farm with us, with short visits to NC where they all stayed with Keegan's family. Caleb is staying with Keegan since he is already working and they are still in transition. Praise the Lord their home in AZ sold and they are in contract on a house in NC so Lord willing will be settled in their new place the middle of December. It is so wonderful to have them only 4 hours away instead of on the other side of the U.S., plus they will only be 15 minutes Keegan!
It will be a fun and chaotic weekend with all of them here for Thanksgiving and I am so looking forward to it! Then I'll go to NC for Christmas where we can all be together too. What bounty! We have never all been together with their wives and children for a major holiday, so I am extremely grateful.
I hope each of you will have a joyous and special time of giving thanks with those you love and hold dear over the next few days as we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. We Americans have such abundance and always have much to be thankful for each and every day. May we look for the good in each day and in each person and be grateful.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
