Four Years. Feels so much longer. So much has changed, yet so much has stayed the same. I know the Lord in a way I never would have imagined, I trust Him more now than I did then, I've made it through the most difficult experiences ONLY by the grace, peace, love, and strength of Jesus, my Lord. My rock, my shelter, my provider, my sustainer, my joy, my peace, my deliverer, my strong tower, my refuge in the storm, my GOD who never fails me. My God who has a plan, a purpose, even though I cannot see it, I trust Him because He is trustworthy and true. It's not something I can fully explain to you, but I KNOW down deep in my soul that He loves me and wants the best for me and Mike. Do I wish it were different? Absolutely! BUT more than anything, I want to be in God's will and since there's nothing I can do to change our current situation, then I trust that we ARE in His will right where we are and who we are now.
Psalm 145:1-3
I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
Easter Sunday I had the privilege of taking Mike to church at the Stanardsville UMC. From the moment we got there, people were so kind and showed us the love of Christ. Folks outside helped us get up the stairs and into the front door, we were greeted warmly, and an usher offered to bring us communion when it was time. No one seemed bothered when Mike spoke out LOUDLY during the children's time or when he answered questions that the Pastor asked during his sermon. The most precious to me was when a member of the choir, noticing (and hearing!) Mike's impatience to take communion, halted the flow of people to the altar and helped me get him to the altar so that he didn't have to wait any longer. It was such a pleasant experience, with people we did not know at all, which is how it should be in the family of God. Plus, I had no anxiety or embarrassment. People just have to love us the way we are or not, nothing I can do about it. Thankfully after the service we were shown the side entrance where there were no steps to navigate.Two other blessings have come from our visit on Easter morning. That night I emailed the Pastor to thank him for their love and compassion and asked if he or some of his members might be willing to visit Mike. I heard back from him either that night or the next day saying he would put Mike on his visitation list. We made a plan to go together the first time so that I can give him some pointers and we are doing that tomorrow. He told me on the phone yesterday, that another member of the congregation wants to come, as well, so I am very thankful.
The other blessing was connecting with a lady whose husband had also been at The Harbor when Mike first arrived, but has since had to move to another facility. We had met, but had never really had a chance to talk. Pastor Chuck shared my email (as I requested) and she was one of the choir members. I thought she looked familiar, but couldn't make the connection. She emailed me, reminding me of who she was and we have really enjoyed talking and emailing back and forth. Although her husband has dementia instead of brain injury, we still "speak the same language" and are living very similar lives in regard to our husbands. It is comforting to have a new friend that truly understands.
Since coming to acceptance of who Mike is now, pre-accident memories have surfaced more regularly. I was crushing graham crackers one day and an image of Mike fixing his lunch popped very clearly into my mind of him breaking graham crackers to put in a clean, used yogurt cup along with peanuts. He took this every day only alternating vanilla wafers occasionally. There have been other memories, but it is late and my brain can't think of them right now. Is past time for bed so I will say "Good night."
