Lessons for a Loner

I don't really consider myself a loner, but I am sort of a home-body and I do enjoy having some time alone-especially times of quietness. This is not always a bad thing, but I do have to watch the propensity of isolating myself and thinking that I am "bothering" others. Let me give you an example. Several weeks ago, I needed to go to Richmond to meet with my lawyer. That morning, I was talking with my friend, Karen, and she offered to ride with me. My quick response was "It's OK, I don't mind going by myself." As we continued to talk, I was having an inner struggle with myself (or the Spirit was prompting me) and so eventually said something like this "You know, it would be nice to have company, so if you really want to ride along, that would be great." She did and the ride was much more enjoyable. The business of meeting with the lawyer became a small part of a fun outing with a friend. Even though it was simply 2 hours of riding in a car together, the talk and laughter was energizing and uplifting. How many times do we miss out on such opportunities because we are afraid we might bother someone? What a blessing that Karen took the chance and offered to ride along. I'm glad I didn't go with my first response.

The first weekend in December, I decided to travel to Fayetteville to visit friends I hadn't seen in about 2 years. My propensity kicked in again and I thought about making reservations at a hotel for the weekend. Partly not wanting to be a burden on anyone at such short notice and partly to have some alone time (although that seemed too alone and not very appealing). As I was praying about it one morning, the Lord reminded me that I had friends there who had offered a room to me whenever I might come into town. Just as I was going to look up our former Sunday School teacher and his wife's number, I received an email from them. I hadn't heard from them in a good while so "Ok, Lord, I get the hint." As if that were not enough, He really nailed it in with the following verse and quote from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day on December 3: "You warn us, 'He who separates himself seeks his own desire; He quarrels against all sound wisdom' (Proverbs 18:1, NASB). Help me to be very careful not to isolate myself."  Wow! That verse really convicted and intrigued me. I didn't remember ever hearing it like that before. God's word really is alive and active and strikes us differently at different times, just when we need it. Thank you, God!

I looked this verse up in several different versions. The Message states it this way: "Loners who care only for themselves spit on the common good."  CEB: "Unfriendly people look out for themselves; they bicker with sensible people."  HCSB: "One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment." We need other people in our lives in order to stay balanced. When I close myself off to others, I become or am selfish & am seeking my own pleasure, then it is hard to be objective and wise. "...spit on the common good, bicker with sensible people, rebel against all sound judgment."  Hmmmm...that doesn't sound good does it? Yet, I believe we can all see where this would happen, if we isolate ourselves too much.

Well, Calvin & Christy are so gracious and welcomed me with open arms. They gave me lots of freedom to come and go as I wished and I had a wonderful time visiting with them and many dear friends throughout the weekend. Not once did I feel like I was a bother to anyone as I went from place to place. It was such a joy to see many friends face-to-face and sit and chat without a phone stuck to my ear! I came away from the weekend with such joy in renewed friendships, encouraged by testimonies of God's faithfulness, reminiscing the past and hearing of great things to come in the future. I was able to attend Sunday School and enjoyed worshiping with friends at West Fayetteville Baptist on Sunday morning also. After lunch with Juan & Myriam, and another quick visit with Mrs. Capps, I drove to Cary and had a short visit with Kris, who was so kind to us while we were in that area. The entire weekend was just wonderful, energizing, relaxing, restful, encouraging and a real testament to how important other people are in our lives. Thank you, Calvin & Christy, Syn, Mrs. Capps, Darius & Kendra, David & Judy, Jenn & Kaitlyn, Juan & Myriam, Kris and everyone at church. It was fabulous seeing you! Those I didn't get to see, I'll try again next time!

So, I encourage you, don't isolate yourself. Go visit, call, ask to ride with someone, or ask someone to ride with you while you do errands, invite someone over for coffee, tea, leftovers, or just to come for no reason at all. Don't wait until the time is right, or you look just so, or you have something baked to take, or the house is clean, etc., etc., Just go! Just invite! You will be blessed and will be a blessing.

So Thankful

I Timothy 4:4&5

"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected

 if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer."

Everything God created is good and should be received with thanksgiving. God has created so much and has given us many reasons to be thankful everyday all through the year. I am thankful, though, that the United States still observes a day to stop and really think about our blessings and give concentrated and corporate thanks. I hope each of you were able to take a breather from the rush of "normal" life and enjoy a time with family in thanksgiving to God for His many wonderful creations.

Here are a few of the many people and things for which I give thanks:

First, foremost & always - Jesus, God, Holy Spirit!

All my amazing big family - Jones', Rice's, Dew's and beyond!

My church families - here and in NC - Wonderful prayer warriors & friends

My new job! I'm learning a lot and REALLY like what I'm doing and the people.

Playing with my grandbaby, Aria!

Playing games with Keegan & Amy.

Cell phones and new gadgets that make the long distance family feel closer.
Photos of Caleb & Anastasia, texts, calls

Rest & reading

Cozy, warm fire at the push of a button

Watching calves frolic in the field

Pleasant walks

Great food & favorite desserts

Laughter and conversation
Lively discussions in Sunday school
Hanging of the greens at church
Staff of CSH and just the fact that CSH is there 

Smiles
and much, much more!

Aria was asleep in the car.

A BIG thanksgiving gift with loads of thankfulness was permission from Dr. Ebeling to take Mike out on Saturday afternoon.  Keegan, Amy, Aria & I picked Mike up about 11:30 Saturday, drove to a barber where he got his haircut and we watched the first few minutes of the OSU vs. Michigan game. Go Bucks! Then we went to Applebee's for lunch where we were able to finish watching the first half of the game. Mike enjoyed the outing immensly and did very well. His appetite is quite good and he'll try to finish what anyone leaves, if you let him! After lunch, we walked around in the mall a little while then sat and he was able to talk with his Mom and Caleb. His Dad wasn't available at the time. Then we returned to CSH and he went right in without incident or complaint.

Amy & Rascal

Back home, Amy was able to go riding with Tracey for an hour or so which I think she enjoyed greatly. Amy is an accomplished rider and Tracey said it was nice to ride with her since she knew how to handle Rascal if he became rascally.

Arm in action

It was such a joy to have Aria around for the weekend. She is such a happy baby. She is now rolling over and sitting, but she moves so much that she still falls over without support. I think they may be in trouble once she starts moving around on her own - those legs and arms are usually in motion!




More thankfulness: The following email was forwarded to me by Dr. Ebeling on Monday. It is from one of Mike's group leaders in Cognitive therapy on Monday, Dec. 1.

In cog rem today Michael R. appeared to be more oriented and alert. When asked about his haircut and new shirt he told me his wife gave him the shirt and that he got the haircut while he was out. Also in my loop we were talking about a color by number activity and I said it reminded me of a paint by number activity and then Mr. R reminisced about when he taught his sons to paint using primer and a roller brush for the outside of his house. It was the first time he has mentioned his family to me.

He also talked in depth about his bachelor degrees from Ohio State and Asbury College. He talked about how he hadn’t wanted to pursue a master’s degree in history so he did another bachelor’s degree to teach physical education. He also discussed teaching at a high school, both physical education and history, as well as a basic math class.

While I was surprised that Mike had not communicated that well previously, I am thankful that he did this week. I guess it just took something to trigger the memories or to bring up family.  So....as you can see, we had a lot to be thankful for this past week and continuing on each day. Even when life is hard and not the way we would choose, there is ALWAYS lots of reasons to praise God and give Him thanks. Thank you, God, for all these blessings!

Tomorrow I am going to head to Fayetteville for a short visit. I hope to see many friends, but time will go by quickly, I know. I kept hoping Mike and I could get down there, but we'll continue to hope for that in the future. I just decided it's been too long and was time to go. I believe Mike is where he needs to be for now, and we will continue to trust God for direction and a more homey place at some point. Who knows? Maybe some day we will be together again in our own place and able to travel around to visit friends. With God there is always that possibility. Never give up hope.