Lessons for a Loner

I don't really consider myself a loner, but I am sort of a home-body and I do enjoy having some time alone-especially times of quietness. This is not always a bad thing, but I do have to watch the propensity of isolating myself and thinking that I am "bothering" others. Let me give you an example. Several weeks ago, I needed to go to Richmond to meet with my lawyer. That morning, I was talking with my friend, Karen, and she offered to ride with me. My quick response was "It's OK, I don't mind going by myself." As we continued to talk, I was having an inner struggle with myself (or the Spirit was prompting me) and so eventually said something like this "You know, it would be nice to have company, so if you really want to ride along, that would be great." She did and the ride was much more enjoyable. The business of meeting with the lawyer became a small part of a fun outing with a friend. Even though it was simply 2 hours of riding in a car together, the talk and laughter was energizing and uplifting. How many times do we miss out on such opportunities because we are afraid we might bother someone? What a blessing that Karen took the chance and offered to ride along. I'm glad I didn't go with my first response.

The first weekend in December, I decided to travel to Fayetteville to visit friends I hadn't seen in about 2 years. My propensity kicked in again and I thought about making reservations at a hotel for the weekend. Partly not wanting to be a burden on anyone at such short notice and partly to have some alone time (although that seemed too alone and not very appealing). As I was praying about it one morning, the Lord reminded me that I had friends there who had offered a room to me whenever I might come into town. Just as I was going to look up our former Sunday School teacher and his wife's number, I received an email from them. I hadn't heard from them in a good while so "Ok, Lord, I get the hint." As if that were not enough, He really nailed it in with the following verse and quote from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day on December 3: "You warn us, 'He who separates himself seeks his own desire; He quarrels against all sound wisdom' (Proverbs 18:1, NASB). Help me to be very careful not to isolate myself."  Wow! That verse really convicted and intrigued me. I didn't remember ever hearing it like that before. God's word really is alive and active and strikes us differently at different times, just when we need it. Thank you, God!

I looked this verse up in several different versions. The Message states it this way: "Loners who care only for themselves spit on the common good."  CEB: "Unfriendly people look out for themselves; they bicker with sensible people."  HCSB: "One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment." We need other people in our lives in order to stay balanced. When I close myself off to others, I become or am selfish & am seeking my own pleasure, then it is hard to be objective and wise. "...spit on the common good, bicker with sensible people, rebel against all sound judgment."  Hmmmm...that doesn't sound good does it? Yet, I believe we can all see where this would happen, if we isolate ourselves too much.

Well, Calvin & Christy are so gracious and welcomed me with open arms. They gave me lots of freedom to come and go as I wished and I had a wonderful time visiting with them and many dear friends throughout the weekend. Not once did I feel like I was a bother to anyone as I went from place to place. It was such a joy to see many friends face-to-face and sit and chat without a phone stuck to my ear! I came away from the weekend with such joy in renewed friendships, encouraged by testimonies of God's faithfulness, reminiscing the past and hearing of great things to come in the future. I was able to attend Sunday School and enjoyed worshiping with friends at West Fayetteville Baptist on Sunday morning also. After lunch with Juan & Myriam, and another quick visit with Mrs. Capps, I drove to Cary and had a short visit with Kris, who was so kind to us while we were in that area. The entire weekend was just wonderful, energizing, relaxing, restful, encouraging and a real testament to how important other people are in our lives. Thank you, Calvin & Christy, Syn, Mrs. Capps, Darius & Kendra, David & Judy, Jenn & Kaitlyn, Juan & Myriam, Kris and everyone at church. It was fabulous seeing you! Those I didn't get to see, I'll try again next time!

So, I encourage you, don't isolate yourself. Go visit, call, ask to ride with someone, or ask someone to ride with you while you do errands, invite someone over for coffee, tea, leftovers, or just to come for no reason at all. Don't wait until the time is right, or you look just so, or you have something baked to take, or the house is clean, etc., etc., Just go! Just invite! You will be blessed and will be a blessing.