P.S. to Central State
I went for a walk after posting the last blog and realized I left out a major blessing and source of encouragement that the Lord has given to us. At the end of June, the East Nottoway Charge received a new Pastor and his wife.
Pastor Randy and his wife, Karen, have been a huge blessing to Mike and I already and are quickly becoming dear friends. They took me down to Central State on Monday, August 25, for the hearing regarding having Mike committed on a Temporary Detention Order (TDO). The following day was Mike's 58th birthday and, again, Randy & Karen picked me up and drove to Petersburg. We stopped at Applebee's and bought supper and then drove to CSH to celebrate Mike's birthday with him with a special meal complete with strawberry cheesecake. Mike thanked them for coming to eat with him, ate heartily, and seemed to enjoy the conversation. Pastor Randy prayed over Mike before we left. They have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus to us (me especially) and I am so thankful that God has sent them here.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Central State
A week ago this past Friday, we had such a frantic, out-of-control episode with Mike that I called 911. He was a potential danger not only to himself, but also to others. Since late Friday night, August 22, Mike has been at Central State Psychiatric Hospital in Petersburg, VA. He had to be somewhat sedated over the first weekend, and then put back on Seroquel on a regular basis during the day. This makes him a bit more unstable physically, but I've finally come to the realization that it is preferable to having frantic episodes. Although my motives were good for getting him off of medication, we either went to quickly or took away the wrong ones. Also, I was way too slow to acknowledge that he was getting out-of-control and that he needed something to calm him down on a regular basis. I made a lot of mistakes and Mike and I both suffered for it. One good thing about reducing the Amantadine; however, seems that he is not repeating as much as before. We went from 2 pills a day to 1 a day about 2 weeks ago now. Maybe there was some withdrawal also, I don't know.
Mike is doing fairly well at Central State. He is more content there than he was at Tucker's. They do not feel they are the best fit for him since his psychiatric issues are secondary to TBI, but I have been pleased with the staff, his care, and daily routine. Monday - Friday, he is taken to the "Treatment Mall". This is in a different building from where he is housed and he is able to check out books from the library, watch movies, plus interact with others through activities or classes. Last Friday he watched a film on anger management and each patient had to rate how they felt the person in the film did in managing his anger.
Mike is actually in a sort of holding pattern for 10 days. Central State is required to continue to look for a "more suitable" facility for 10 days. After that time, if they have not found a place, they would keep him or I will bring him home. In order for them to keep him, he would have to go on Medicaid. We went down that road about a year ago and for various reasons, it is not the best decision for us at this time. I am not rushing the process, but figure after the 10 days, I will bring him home. I just want to make sure he is fairly calm with the current medication and that I have something to give him in case of emergency before bringing him home.
Even though I was regularly communicating with Dr. Sellman and asking his advice, I was the one pushing to reduce meds. I am letting go of that and will just try to communicate a more realistic picture of what life at home is like and pray that Dr. Sellman will have the wisdom to know how to help us.
I've felt incredibly sad this week. This is such a learning process and I was so hopeful that Mike would be better with less medication. It's sad to see him in another facility, sad to think he has to be more sedated, sad that he's physically more unbalanced when he is on more medication, sad that we're still in this status after 28 months. However, God is always good to provide things for me to concentrate on other than our situation. Prior to this incident, I had been given the opportunity to share a message at church today. On Thursday, August 21, I felt the Lord gave me a message to share so I agreed to do it. Focusing on God's word and preparing this talk, kept me from falling into deeper despair. God always provides a way for me to escape that I might be able to bear it.
I covet your prayers for wisdom for the treatment team at Central State, decisions I need to make, Mike's safety and calmness and the right blend of medication before he comes home.
Mike is doing fairly well at Central State. He is more content there than he was at Tucker's. They do not feel they are the best fit for him since his psychiatric issues are secondary to TBI, but I have been pleased with the staff, his care, and daily routine. Monday - Friday, he is taken to the "Treatment Mall". This is in a different building from where he is housed and he is able to check out books from the library, watch movies, plus interact with others through activities or classes. Last Friday he watched a film on anger management and each patient had to rate how they felt the person in the film did in managing his anger.
Mike is actually in a sort of holding pattern for 10 days. Central State is required to continue to look for a "more suitable" facility for 10 days. After that time, if they have not found a place, they would keep him or I will bring him home. In order for them to keep him, he would have to go on Medicaid. We went down that road about a year ago and for various reasons, it is not the best decision for us at this time. I am not rushing the process, but figure after the 10 days, I will bring him home. I just want to make sure he is fairly calm with the current medication and that I have something to give him in case of emergency before bringing him home.
Even though I was regularly communicating with Dr. Sellman and asking his advice, I was the one pushing to reduce meds. I am letting go of that and will just try to communicate a more realistic picture of what life at home is like and pray that Dr. Sellman will have the wisdom to know how to help us.
I've felt incredibly sad this week. This is such a learning process and I was so hopeful that Mike would be better with less medication. It's sad to see him in another facility, sad to think he has to be more sedated, sad that he's physically more unbalanced when he is on more medication, sad that we're still in this status after 28 months. However, God is always good to provide things for me to concentrate on other than our situation. Prior to this incident, I had been given the opportunity to share a message at church today. On Thursday, August 21, I felt the Lord gave me a message to share so I agreed to do it. Focusing on God's word and preparing this talk, kept me from falling into deeper despair. God always provides a way for me to escape that I might be able to bear it.
I covet your prayers for wisdom for the treatment team at Central State, decisions I need to make, Mike's safety and calmness and the right blend of medication before he comes home.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
The way camp ended...
On Friday, July 25, I received a call from Dr. O'Brien, the camp director. The medication that had been prescribed for the rattle in Mike's lungs had sent him into a "full-blown psychotic episode". EMT's were called in, full restraint had to be used and Mike transported to the hospital. The hospital gave him some medicine and sent him back to camp. My nephew, TR, and I arrived at camp about the same time and gathered Mike's things to bring him home. Mike was slightly agitated and fixated. He believed we were leaving behind one (or 4) of his boxes and even though we double and triple checked his cabin and the infirmary, he was adamant.
TR finally gently, forced Mike into the backseat and I got in on the other side, buckled him up and we took off. He was upset for the first 10 minutes or so and then calmed down and asked for his book. The next 2.5 hours were fine with Mike reading and riding calmly. As soon as we got home and started unloading, the fixation on a missing box(es) started again and for the next 3 hours he did the following: paced around the house, paced out to the car and back, started walking back to camp, was retrieved and would start out again, went for a ride supposedly back to camp, until Hugh had to come and we got him in the house and into the shower, then he calmed down. So his camp experience was cut short by 2 days and initially he said he didn't like camp and didn't want to go back, but that changed in a few days. The camp would allow him to come back, they knew it was medication induced psychosis.
The next day was one of our best days. Mike helped me wash windows at Mom and Dad's, we ran some errands related to the party for Mom and Dad, started learning the new automated calf-feeding system and only had a short bout of thinking he left a box at camp. This time we called the director and she assured him he did not leave anything. With a heavy sigh he said "Guess I have to let it go."
The following Sun. - Thurs. were fairly rough. Lots of repeating, non-compliant behavior. We were all getting ready for Mom and Dad's big party (A combination celebration of Mom's 85th birthday
on July 13, Dad's 90th birthday on July 31, and their 66th wedding anniversary on Aug. 8) I don't know if he was worried that he wasn't going to be included or what was going through his mind. I even wrote out what was happening on each day and kept writing "Mike is included", "Mike is part of all of the activities".
Whenever Mike was with all of the people throughout the weekend, he did fabulously. He helped set up at the church fellowship hall, enjoyed being at Mom and Dad's among all the chaos of people, and eating meals together. At the party, he mingled, talked, was calm, and seemed to enjoy himself very much. I was so thrilled and able to completely relax and enjoy the party also with no worries. We had cut out another pill and he was needing Trazodone a good bit, but this was fantastic! He would still repeat and lose it at home when we were alone, but it seemed like a good sign.
Sunday after breakfast, we went to see the Hidden Treasure at Green Meadows Farm house where my Aunt's family was staying and visit with them one last time. Mike did great and enjoyed the tour. Then we went to church and during the praise time, I praised God for how great Mike had been doing over the past few days. It was communion Sunday and when it was time to serve, Pastor Randy asked Mike and I to serve communion with him. It was very special and brought tears to our eyes, as well as, many others who know our story. Was a real sign of how far Mike has come and how much God has done for us. Faye, a member of the church who rode with me to Blacksburg one time, gave me a bracelet after the service that says "With God all things are possible."
That afternoon, when everyone was leaving, Mike was a little agitated and worried. I figured he had to be really tired and so about mid afternoon, we came back home to rest. He could not. Kept thinking "they" were calling us to come back over (to Mom and Dad's). I was very tired and tried to rest, but he couldn't. We went back up for supper, and now it was only Mom, Dad, and my sister, Vivian, there. I thought he would calm down now that he knew everyone was gone, party over, but no. He seemed so afraid that he was missing something.
From then until now, it has been like Psalm 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". It was like we had had "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.", but suddenly the tree was cut down again.
After talking with Dr. Sellman several times, we are trying to taper off of some medication. I just didn't want to try yet another medicine. I want to see where he is without medication. Who knows? Maybe the medicine is causing this craziness, and how can we know unless we get him off of medication to see what he, by himself, is like. This is not an easy time, so please pray for all of us who deal with Mike and especially for Mike. I again marvel at what his body can handle and still keep going. Today, he seems especially irritated with Max and is not being very kind. Please pray that Max sticks it out with us. These breaks are extremely vital to my well-being. I carry a lot of stress in my body, and need time to breathe and when I am not totally responsible for him. Being on constant alert is very wearing.
Want to get outside and cut grass, before Max leaves, so that's all for now. Thank you so much for continuing to lift us up before the throne of our Holy God. He has never left me, nor forsaken me.
TR finally gently, forced Mike into the backseat and I got in on the other side, buckled him up and we took off. He was upset for the first 10 minutes or so and then calmed down and asked for his book. The next 2.5 hours were fine with Mike reading and riding calmly. As soon as we got home and started unloading, the fixation on a missing box(es) started again and for the next 3 hours he did the following: paced around the house, paced out to the car and back, started walking back to camp, was retrieved and would start out again, went for a ride supposedly back to camp, until Hugh had to come and we got him in the house and into the shower, then he calmed down. So his camp experience was cut short by 2 days and initially he said he didn't like camp and didn't want to go back, but that changed in a few days. The camp would allow him to come back, they knew it was medication induced psychosis.
The next day was one of our best days. Mike helped me wash windows at Mom and Dad's, we ran some errands related to the party for Mom and Dad, started learning the new automated calf-feeding system and only had a short bout of thinking he left a box at camp. This time we called the director and she assured him he did not leave anything. With a heavy sigh he said "Guess I have to let it go."
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| Dad and one of his granddaughter's in law, Courtney |
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| Guests beginning to arrive. There were over 150 people. |
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| Beautiful Mom. |
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| Memories & flowers from Dad's garden |
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| 66 Years of marriage |
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| brother-in-laws... |
Whenever Mike was with all of the people throughout the weekend, he did fabulously. He helped set up at the church fellowship hall, enjoyed being at Mom and Dad's among all the chaos of people, and eating meals together. At the party, he mingled, talked, was calm, and seemed to enjoy himself very much. I was so thrilled and able to completely relax and enjoy the party also with no worries. We had cut out another pill and he was needing Trazodone a good bit, but this was fantastic! He would still repeat and lose it at home when we were alone, but it seemed like a good sign.
Sunday after breakfast, we went to see the Hidden Treasure at Green Meadows Farm house where my Aunt's family was staying and visit with them one last time. Mike did great and enjoyed the tour. Then we went to church and during the praise time, I praised God for how great Mike had been doing over the past few days. It was communion Sunday and when it was time to serve, Pastor Randy asked Mike and I to serve communion with him. It was very special and brought tears to our eyes, as well as, many others who know our story. Was a real sign of how far Mike has come and how much God has done for us. Faye, a member of the church who rode with me to Blacksburg one time, gave me a bracelet after the service that says "With God all things are possible."
That afternoon, when everyone was leaving, Mike was a little agitated and worried. I figured he had to be really tired and so about mid afternoon, we came back home to rest. He could not. Kept thinking "they" were calling us to come back over (to Mom and Dad's). I was very tired and tried to rest, but he couldn't. We went back up for supper, and now it was only Mom, Dad, and my sister, Vivian, there. I thought he would calm down now that he knew everyone was gone, party over, but no. He seemed so afraid that he was missing something.
From then until now, it has been like Psalm 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". It was like we had had "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.", but suddenly the tree was cut down again.
After talking with Dr. Sellman several times, we are trying to taper off of some medication. I just didn't want to try yet another medicine. I want to see where he is without medication. Who knows? Maybe the medicine is causing this craziness, and how can we know unless we get him off of medication to see what he, by himself, is like. This is not an easy time, so please pray for all of us who deal with Mike and especially for Mike. I again marvel at what his body can handle and still keep going. Today, he seems especially irritated with Max and is not being very kind. Please pray that Max sticks it out with us. These breaks are extremely vital to my well-being. I carry a lot of stress in my body, and need time to breathe and when I am not totally responsible for him. Being on constant alert is very wearing.
Want to get outside and cut grass, before Max leaves, so that's all for now. Thank you so much for continuing to lift us up before the throne of our Holy God. He has never left me, nor forsaken me.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Cathedral Cafe
Hello! I have enough thoughts & things to share to probably make 3 blog posts, so I'll try to go chronologically and get started.
#1
One thing I forgot to mention about my respite trip was the very unique Cathedral Cafe in Fayetteville, WV where Lynn and I ate lunch after zip-lining. Lynn is very outgoing, like Mike, and as we were driving/hiking along the New River Gorge, we saw 3 people gearing up to go hiking. Lynn stopped to talk and see what they were doing. In the course of the conversation, the guide said that his shop was across the street from the Cathedral Cafe in town. Lynn asked if that would be a good place to have lunch and he said "Yes, tell them Steve sent you!" It was a very quaint cafe with bookshelves lined with books, unusual menu items, and a very casual, comfortable atmosphere. I ordered a beef and brie sandwich with reduction onions that was amazingly delicious. The staff were very friendly and accommodating. If you are ever in the area, I would definitely recommend putting Cathedral Cafe into your GPS and heading on over for a delightful culinary experience. Your taste buds will thank you!
With all of the travelling and eating out, sometimes it is hard to have self-control. During the weeks surrounding this trip, the Lord was bringing me to verses regarding living by the Spirit rather than yielding to the sinful nature. I used to have no problem eating until I was full, then stopping even if there was food on my plate. Over the years, I have gotten away from that and especially this past winter with the stress, boredom, loneliness and, yes, depression of this never-ending trial. Seems I always wanted something in my mouth. Clothes that fit last summer, are too tight this summer and my self-control definitely non-existent. So I have been reading and meditating on Galatians 5:16-26 for a few weeks. Then Romans 8 joined also. These verses especially have spoken to me:
#1
One thing I forgot to mention about my respite trip was the very unique Cathedral Cafe in Fayetteville, WV where Lynn and I ate lunch after zip-lining. Lynn is very outgoing, like Mike, and as we were driving/hiking along the New River Gorge, we saw 3 people gearing up to go hiking. Lynn stopped to talk and see what they were doing. In the course of the conversation, the guide said that his shop was across the street from the Cathedral Cafe in town. Lynn asked if that would be a good place to have lunch and he said "Yes, tell them Steve sent you!" It was a very quaint cafe with bookshelves lined with books, unusual menu items, and a very casual, comfortable atmosphere. I ordered a beef and brie sandwich with reduction onions that was amazingly delicious. The staff were very friendly and accommodating. If you are ever in the area, I would definitely recommend putting Cathedral Cafe into your GPS and heading on over for a delightful culinary experience. Your taste buds will thank you!
With all of the travelling and eating out, sometimes it is hard to have self-control. During the weeks surrounding this trip, the Lord was bringing me to verses regarding living by the Spirit rather than yielding to the sinful nature. I used to have no problem eating until I was full, then stopping even if there was food on my plate. Over the years, I have gotten away from that and especially this past winter with the stress, boredom, loneliness and, yes, depression of this never-ending trial. Seems I always wanted something in my mouth. Clothes that fit last summer, are too tight this summer and my self-control definitely non-existent. So I have been reading and meditating on Galatians 5:16-26 for a few weeks. Then Romans 8 joined also. These verses especially have spoken to me:
Galatians 5:16 & 24
"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."
"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature
with its passions and desires."
Romans 8:6-8
"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;
the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.
Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."
As believers in Christ Jesus (those who belong to Christ Jesus), ones who have given our lives to the Lord, we are called to "live by the Spirit". This not only applies to self-control when eating, but also to being self-less in my dealings with Mike, even when I feel like I'm going to lose my mind in respect to his behavior and incessant repeating. I have to keep my mind focused on Christ or the sinful nature takes over. The language in Romans is very strong - "hostile to God", "death", "cannot please God" when I am living in the sinful nature mindset. I want to please God, not be hostile to Him. I covet your prayers as I seek to live by the Spirit
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