Worship in Spirit & Truth

We're having a lovely
warm Fall.

My visit with Mike last week was more encouraging. He was definitely more alert and was scooting himself around in his wheelchair. He cannot coordinate using his arms to turn the wheels along with doing the walking motion with his feet, so just thrusts his upper body forward for momentum and then moves his feet along. It was good to see him mobile again, but I can see where he could fall out of the wheelchair rather easily.

I spoke with the head nurse about restraints, but that gets into a lot of government regulations and restrictions. I looked it up when I got home and I see what the government is trying to avoid: abuse & convenience for facility staff. However, I think if anyone spent a day or two in the facility they would see why Mike, as well as, others could benefit from a simple seat belt. As it is, it involves lots of paperwork and the facility has to prove that there is a definitive medical necessity in order to use restraints. Now I'd prefer that Mike stay in this type of wheelchair because he can at least be a little bit mobile, whereas if he's put in the high back wheelchair he will not be able to scoot around at all. Ugh...what a dilemma! Risk of falling out versus being able to motor around a bit on his own.

I was able to speak with Dr. B briefly on Wednesday and he is pleased that Mike is more alert and mobile and so is going to further reduce the Seroquel. Yay! The urine tests did not show any abnormalities so we still don't know why the albumin is low. The fluid pill is keeping the swelling down and they will do regular blood tests to keep an eye on everything.

Holding hands with
my hubby.

I left The Harbor about 3 and went and spent a couple of hours with Sandy and then returned to feed Mike supper. When I arrived, he was sitting at the table holding onto the wrist of the woman next to him. His grip is strong and so I got him to let go hoping he didn't leave a bruise. The woman told me that "someone needs to sit beside him. He thinks I'm his wife and I don't even live here!" I told her that I was his wife and she said, "Well he doesn't know that!" Ha! The woman proceeded to feed a man sitting beside her and I fed Mike not only his supper, but also a container of yogurt and a piece of coconut pie that my Mom had made. When he was finished, he looked over and saw that the man's plate was still full (the woman was feeding the man from her plate). Mike lunged across the table trying to grab the other man's plate. As the med tech said, "Mike's back!" :-)

All during supper Mike was doing his hum/oh and it makes it difficult for him to swallow. He could not communicate with me at all or stop the perseveration so I didn't stay long. I returned to Sandy's and we enjoyed talking and comparing our situations with each other. It is a blessing to talk with someone who totally understands how you feel and think. She is very kind to invite me to stay with her. Since she only lives 10 minutes away from where Mike is, it makes it a lot easier for me to see Mike more while I'm there. 

I returned Thursday morning and met the Encompass Home Health nurse, J. He is seeing Mike because Mike has developed sores on his heels. The nurse said the sores are healing and Mike is supposed to wear these big cushy boots at all times to take the pressure off of his heels. I  had trimmed his nails and rubbed lotion into his legs and feet on Wednesday and noticed how black the sores look. According to J that is due to medication/protectant that is being applied a couple of times a day. 

What a pleasure it was to meet J. When I spoke of how Mike used to get up at 4:30 every morning to spend time with the Lord, he said, "So Mike knows Jesus?" Absolutely! I loved what J said next. I know I won't get it exactly right, but J said what a wonderful thing that is, because even though Mike cannot communicate well with us, we are spiritual beings and God is spirit, so Mike and God are still able to communicate with each other from spirit to spirit. I had not thought of it like that and it is a beautiful truth. Mike is worshiping God in spirit and truth. I praise God for the encounter with J. 

John 4:21-24 (ESV)

21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming

when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 

22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know,

 for salvation is from the Jews. 

23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers 

will worship the Father in spirit and truth, 

for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 

24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 

25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming

(he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” 

26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”

I fed Mike lunch and as he was eating, Jack from Stanardsville UMC walked in the door. I forgot to tell you what a source of encouragement Jack was during that week of October 12 (previous post). One or two days after that difficult visit, I received an email, for the first time, from Jack letting me know that he has been going to see Mike twice a week ever since the time that I met with him and the Pastor of SUMC. He wanted to make sure I knew that Mike had fallen. Of course, the staff could not disclose any information to him, but I so appreciated his concern and making sure that I knew. I had no way of knowing that he had been visiting and it gave me such joy to know that he is seeing Mike regularly and when he noticed that something wasn't right he contacted me. That email came at a perfect time to bring encouragement and know that Mike was not alone so much.  

Jack said he had really enjoyed watching the Olympics with Mike and that Mike was quite captivated by the games. I since have asked him if he would mind reading Mike's mail to him, because I seriously doubt that Mike is able to do it on his own and the staff do not do that. Now the receptionist holds Mike's mail until Jack comes by and reads it to him. I was glad that our paths crossed this visit and I was able to personally thank Jack for taking the time to visit Mike so regularly.

God really provided 3 people who blessed me abundantly during this latest visit. He is my great provider and never leaves me without hope and encouragement just when I need it.

Ephesians 3:20 (ESV)

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, 

according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church

and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

October 12

On Saturday morning October 8 I woke up at 5 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I picked up my phone and saw that I had missed a call from The Harbor at 11:37 PM. Never a good sign. I called immediately, but had to wait until the head nurse came in to find out the details. When I was able to speak with the head nurse, I found out that Mike had fallen out of the wheelchair onto his face. It appeared he had broken his nose again and had a couple of scratches. By this time, it was mid-morning and she said Mike had eaten a good breakfast and his behavior was his norm.

The nurse and I had a long talk and she started telling me how much they loved Mike and that she brought her dog to specifically visit him one day. Then she said that just the week before, Mike was reading the Bible out loud to the other residents in the dining room and then said a prayer. She had never even heard him say a complete sentence before and this brought her to tears. Her stories helped ease the anxiety in my own heart and mind and brought a smile as I imagined the scenes.

Earlier that week, I had received a call from the Physical Therapist saying she would have to discharge Mike on Thursday because he was not showing any signs of improvement in walking and actually wouldn't even try. When I was talking with the nurse, she said Mike would just go limp when the PT tried to work with him. By now the swelling was down, they had checked his body thoroughly for signs of sores or other problems, but he had no interest in walking.

On Wednesday, October 12, my pastor's wife, Karen, and I drove up to see Mike and I wanted to be able to speak with the Doctor, as well. Mike looked rough. His nose definitely broken and his right eye black and blue. Behaviorally, he acted like he usually does. He talked some, did his perseverative "oh/hum", ate every bit of his lunch and even looked at Karen and said "What is her name?" It was a lovely day and we enjoyed sitting out in the courtyard with our Subway lunch. I'm so thrilled that Mike is back on a solid food diet! He still must be fed or monitored closely so that he will not take huge bites or just keep stuffing food into his mouth, but he is more content and so am I.

After lunch I wheeled Mike in to brush his teeth. It was not easy. His feet were down so that he could help motor the wheelchair, but he either couldn't remember to do it or just didn't want to move his feet. It would at least give him more movement, but I finally gave up and asked for the foot rests. While inside, Dr. B came in. While he tried to see if he could "pop" Mike's nose back into place, the nurse and I went out to the hall. The doctor did not want to cause undo trauma to Mike, so was not able to realign his nose. It would require putting Mike to sleep in order to correct the break and that seems like too much for him now.

At this point, the visit became very difficult. I asked Dr. B if he thought I should try to get Mike to an orthopedic doctor to see if he has a chipped bone or something that is making him not want to walk. As we talked, we came to the same conclusion as the nose. Even if there is a problem, how would Mike do with surgery? If it involved a knee or hip replacement, what's the point if Mike will not work with therapy? He could end up worse than he is now. Dr. B said he's been trying to figure out how to help Mike, but it all just seems to come around to the same thing. Without Mike being able to understand the benefit and participate in therapy/recovery, there isn't a lot we can do.

Then the real bottom dropped out. I asked if there was a better wheelchair for Mike so that he won't fall out so easily. The nurse said that therapy was recommending a high-backed wheelchair. It took my slow mind a bit to grasp what she was saying. I asked if she was talking about the ones I see in the dining room which are only used for those residents that are the worst off. She nodded. My heart sank. I fumbled for words and she mistook the reason assuring me that insurance would pay for it. Dr. B stood there listening and he recognized my grief and said "You're feeling that the chair is a step back, a decline." Yes, that was exactly it. I really appreciated the doctor's compassion and kindness and that he was really listening and paying attention to our conversation and it's effect on me.

The decline seems sudden and devastating. Dr. B feels that we are on a downward spiral. That possibly the brain is not able to handle all the bodily functions as well as it has been. Mike's albumin level is low although he eats really well, so now they are trying to find the cause. That explains the swelling, but not why the albumin is low. A urine sample was necessary to search for the cause and the nurse would have to use a catheter to get one.

After our conversation and while the CNA was putting Mike to bed, I went outside to inform Karen of the meeting and the tears came. When I got back to Mike's room, he was almost asleep. I sat in a chair by his bed and read portions of the Bible to him, sang a couple of hymns and then just laid my head on his chest and wept. He was oblivious. It was one of the sweetest times I've had with him since the accident. He often doesn't really want to be touched and I savored the chance to be close, feel his warmth and hear his strong heartbeat.

I was so thankful to have Karen with me as I was a bit of a mess. She drove us home and then we were on our way to the church supper and revival. It was good to have the distractions.

October has had a lot of distractions which has been a gift from God. Revival ran from October 10-14 with excellent preaching by a Baptist minister, the joy of singing old-time favorite hymns, and the beautiful harmony of a wonderful Mennonite men's quartet - all in our little United Methodist Church. What a combination. It was wonderful!

The Farm Fall Festival here at Richlands Dairy Farm ran the last 4 weekends of October and we had record numbers in this the 3rd year. It was a very busy and fun time for those of us who work and live here, plus the families that came seemed to really enjoy every aspect of the event. (corn maze, hay ride, farm tour, petting zoo, kids zone, face painting, pumpkin patch and concessions) I tried to keep the mums watered in the warmer-than-usual October, plus helped make hamburger patties, homemade caramel apples, desserts & bread, plus a Brunswick stew. I worked in Concessions along with other family members and really enjoyed being part of the festival. The farm crew gave tours during the week for large groups, so they are really exhausted.

I haven't been back to see Mike and he continued to have a rough time throughout the rest of October. I received a call on October 15 that Mike had cellulitis. Later that week the nurse told me that having to cath Mike had been traumatic and then the lab threw away the specimen saying it wasn't marked properly. The following weekend she did it again and personally took the sample to the lab. This Saturday I received a call that Mike had fallen out of his wheelchair again. The new one has not come in yet.

I spoke with the nurse today and she said the lab results were back, but she did not have them with her at the time. I'm planning to go tomorrow, so will find out the results then and ask about tying Mike into the wheelchair. I don't think they like to restrain the residents in that way, but to me that seems better than him falling out of the chair.

Mike has been sleeping a lot and due to that, the marked decline, and the fact that he is not a behavior problem anymore, Dr. B started reducing Mike's medication. YAY! This is an answer to a long-time prayer and desire of mine. In the past 3 weeks, he has reduced both the seroquel and the depakote and the nurse said Mike is a little bit more alert.

With all that's been going on, I haven't done any writing the past few weeks. I hope to get back to my other blogs by the weekend. Sometimes I wonder where the days go. They get filled up and pass quickly. This one has too. Good night!