October 12

On Saturday morning October 8 I woke up at 5 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I picked up my phone and saw that I had missed a call from The Harbor at 11:37 PM. Never a good sign. I called immediately, but had to wait until the head nurse came in to find out the details. When I was able to speak with the head nurse, I found out that Mike had fallen out of the wheelchair onto his face. It appeared he had broken his nose again and had a couple of scratches. By this time, it was mid-morning and she said Mike had eaten a good breakfast and his behavior was his norm.

The nurse and I had a long talk and she started telling me how much they loved Mike and that she brought her dog to specifically visit him one day. Then she said that just the week before, Mike was reading the Bible out loud to the other residents in the dining room and then said a prayer. She had never even heard him say a complete sentence before and this brought her to tears. Her stories helped ease the anxiety in my own heart and mind and brought a smile as I imagined the scenes.

Earlier that week, I had received a call from the Physical Therapist saying she would have to discharge Mike on Thursday because he was not showing any signs of improvement in walking and actually wouldn't even try. When I was talking with the nurse, she said Mike would just go limp when the PT tried to work with him. By now the swelling was down, they had checked his body thoroughly for signs of sores or other problems, but he had no interest in walking.

On Wednesday, October 12, my pastor's wife, Karen, and I drove up to see Mike and I wanted to be able to speak with the Doctor, as well. Mike looked rough. His nose definitely broken and his right eye black and blue. Behaviorally, he acted like he usually does. He talked some, did his perseverative "oh/hum", ate every bit of his lunch and even looked at Karen and said "What is her name?" It was a lovely day and we enjoyed sitting out in the courtyard with our Subway lunch. I'm so thrilled that Mike is back on a solid food diet! He still must be fed or monitored closely so that he will not take huge bites or just keep stuffing food into his mouth, but he is more content and so am I.

After lunch I wheeled Mike in to brush his teeth. It was not easy. His feet were down so that he could help motor the wheelchair, but he either couldn't remember to do it or just didn't want to move his feet. It would at least give him more movement, but I finally gave up and asked for the foot rests. While inside, Dr. B came in. While he tried to see if he could "pop" Mike's nose back into place, the nurse and I went out to the hall. The doctor did not want to cause undo trauma to Mike, so was not able to realign his nose. It would require putting Mike to sleep in order to correct the break and that seems like too much for him now.

At this point, the visit became very difficult. I asked Dr. B if he thought I should try to get Mike to an orthopedic doctor to see if he has a chipped bone or something that is making him not want to walk. As we talked, we came to the same conclusion as the nose. Even if there is a problem, how would Mike do with surgery? If it involved a knee or hip replacement, what's the point if Mike will not work with therapy? He could end up worse than he is now. Dr. B said he's been trying to figure out how to help Mike, but it all just seems to come around to the same thing. Without Mike being able to understand the benefit and participate in therapy/recovery, there isn't a lot we can do.

Then the real bottom dropped out. I asked if there was a better wheelchair for Mike so that he won't fall out so easily. The nurse said that therapy was recommending a high-backed wheelchair. It took my slow mind a bit to grasp what she was saying. I asked if she was talking about the ones I see in the dining room which are only used for those residents that are the worst off. She nodded. My heart sank. I fumbled for words and she mistook the reason assuring me that insurance would pay for it. Dr. B stood there listening and he recognized my grief and said "You're feeling that the chair is a step back, a decline." Yes, that was exactly it. I really appreciated the doctor's compassion and kindness and that he was really listening and paying attention to our conversation and it's effect on me.

The decline seems sudden and devastating. Dr. B feels that we are on a downward spiral. That possibly the brain is not able to handle all the bodily functions as well as it has been. Mike's albumin level is low although he eats really well, so now they are trying to find the cause. That explains the swelling, but not why the albumin is low. A urine sample was necessary to search for the cause and the nurse would have to use a catheter to get one.

After our conversation and while the CNA was putting Mike to bed, I went outside to inform Karen of the meeting and the tears came. When I got back to Mike's room, he was almost asleep. I sat in a chair by his bed and read portions of the Bible to him, sang a couple of hymns and then just laid my head on his chest and wept. He was oblivious. It was one of the sweetest times I've had with him since the accident. He often doesn't really want to be touched and I savored the chance to be close, feel his warmth and hear his strong heartbeat.

I was so thankful to have Karen with me as I was a bit of a mess. She drove us home and then we were on our way to the church supper and revival. It was good to have the distractions.

October has had a lot of distractions which has been a gift from God. Revival ran from October 10-14 with excellent preaching by a Baptist minister, the joy of singing old-time favorite hymns, and the beautiful harmony of a wonderful Mennonite men's quartet - all in our little United Methodist Church. What a combination. It was wonderful!

The Farm Fall Festival here at Richlands Dairy Farm ran the last 4 weekends of October and we had record numbers in this the 3rd year. It was a very busy and fun time for those of us who work and live here, plus the families that came seemed to really enjoy every aspect of the event. (corn maze, hay ride, farm tour, petting zoo, kids zone, face painting, pumpkin patch and concessions) I tried to keep the mums watered in the warmer-than-usual October, plus helped make hamburger patties, homemade caramel apples, desserts & bread, plus a Brunswick stew. I worked in Concessions along with other family members and really enjoyed being part of the festival. The farm crew gave tours during the week for large groups, so they are really exhausted.

I haven't been back to see Mike and he continued to have a rough time throughout the rest of October. I received a call on October 15 that Mike had cellulitis. Later that week the nurse told me that having to cath Mike had been traumatic and then the lab threw away the specimen saying it wasn't marked properly. The following weekend she did it again and personally took the sample to the lab. This Saturday I received a call that Mike had fallen out of his wheelchair again. The new one has not come in yet.

I spoke with the nurse today and she said the lab results were back, but she did not have them with her at the time. I'm planning to go tomorrow, so will find out the results then and ask about tying Mike into the wheelchair. I don't think they like to restrain the residents in that way, but to me that seems better than him falling out of the chair.

Mike has been sleeping a lot and due to that, the marked decline, and the fact that he is not a behavior problem anymore, Dr. B started reducing Mike's medication. YAY! This is an answer to a long-time prayer and desire of mine. In the past 3 weeks, he has reduced both the seroquel and the depakote and the nurse said Mike is a little bit more alert.

With all that's been going on, I haven't done any writing the past few weeks. I hope to get back to my other blogs by the weekend. Sometimes I wonder where the days go. They get filled up and pass quickly. This one has too. Good night!