Acceptance & Endurance

Romans 15:2-7

Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

We had such an amazingly great Thanksgiving time with my family. Mike did fantastic while at the farm and it was such a blessing to be around family. Back at the apartment has been a bit of a challenge, plus Dr. G wanted us to try stopping the Buspar.  After a crazy day yesterday, much anxiety today, and 2 calls in to Dr. G with no response, I made an executive decision to give him the Buspar again.  The repeating has been really magnified in the last couple of days which can make both of us crazy.

You know how I've been struggling to spend more time with the Lord, well today, although it was brief, the Lord blessed me with the above Scripture which, of course, is just what I needed.  Endurance and encouragement come from God and I need to accept Mike right where he is right now just as Christ accepts me.  I'm having a hard time with this, but today I started watching a DVD for Alzheimer Caregivers and there are so many similarities to how Mike is behaving and acting and hopefully it finally got through to me...Mike is doing the best he can - Am I?.  The best phrase went something like this "Caregivers can change their behavior, the person with dementia cannot."  Yesterday, I had to lock myself in the spare bedroom for a while and turn on some music - it didn't drown out Mike's repetitive phrase and he banged on the door, but it gave me some time to regroup and try again.  The farm was so good for Mike, because he could get outside and do something - he so wants to provide for us and work and earn a living.  I'm so proud of him that he wants to provide for us and keep telling him that he already is, but he is not satisfied and cannot understand.  This is so hard for him.  Keep praying for his mental clarity. 

I'm very excited about a new group that will be working with Mike. It is called Forget Me Not Home Memory Care. The owner and one teacher came out yesterday to do initial testing with Mike and I was quite impressed with them. Through the testing, they could determine Mike's weaknesses, strengths and learning style and will formulate lesson plans to fit him. It is a one hour a week session and I believe will be more personalized than the speech therapy he's receiving at Wake Med. This is a fairly new company and they operate in Virginia and North Carolina.

Last week at the TBI caregivers support group meeting, the mom of a TBI survivor shared that a local church has a free open gym. So this week I told Scotty about it and he took Mike on Tues. and today. Mike loved it and is so enthralled by the church that he can't wait for us to go to church there and he wants to volunteer in the open gym ministry.  Tonight he told me he was going to drag me there! I'll go willingly - think we'll have to go play ping pong or something tomorrow! They have basketball court, volleyball, foosball, air hockey, weight machines, pool table, and a suspended walking track, etc.

Just this week, I asked a couple of the ladies from Keegan's church if they knew a young lady who would like to have a little extra income and be willing to help me with laundry, housework and especially supper preparation a few times a week.  Kris replied immediately and her daughter, Catherine, started tonight!  It is wonderful!  Couldn't have started on a better day either. Right after therapy, we had to go to the wound clinic - we have our buddy the wound vac back in place. As we were leaving, I received a phone call from a therapist and was on the phone for 10 minutes, so we were late getting home. Catherine was able to flex with our crazy schedule, came right in and helped with laundry, cleaned the bathroom and fixed a delicious meal. While she was busy with all that, Mike and I took out the recycle, checked the mail, gave him a shower, worked a small puzzle and cleaned him up after an accident.  It was so much less stressful for me and I am so thankful that she could start right away! Thank you, Lord, for the help and encouragement!

I've decided that at the end of every blog, I will try to put some "Bright Spots".  Positive things and ways the Lord has blessed us or encouraged us.

Bright Spots

Catherine

Romans 15

Caregiver DVD

Sunny day

Scotty

Trinity - open gym

Peace and quiet

Tears of Beauty

“No one loves me like You.

No one loves me the way You do.

No one loves me like You.

No one loves me the way, the way that You do.”

By Jars of Clay

Mike has done so terrific all day today (Wed. 11/21).  He did not get overly anxious as we met with a representative from Developmental Disability Bridging for almost 2 hours and then packed to come to the farm to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, my brother’s family, plus Keegan and Amy.  As we drove, Mike commented on what a beautiful day it was. Later as we traveled on I85, we were listening to songs on my I-POD. At one point, I was singing along with the above song and looked over to see tears rolling down Mike’s cheeks. I asked him if something was wrong, but he just looked like he tried to mouth the above words. I just rubbed his arm and told him I loved him, and that truly no one loves us like God does.  It was a precious moment.

11/22 Wrote the above last night but couldn't get on the internet so will just add today to it. First, the BIG news around here is that last night Keegan asked Amy to marry him!!  We are all super excited!  Amy is a precious young lady and we are so thankful the Lord brought her into Keegan's life. No plans yet, just enjoying the moment.  :-)

We've had a nice day. Mike and I took a long walk about 7:30 and then he sat with Mom and Dad while they finished their devotions. He wanted a job to do so Daddy had him pull up old marigold plants.  He wanted to run, and there was no stopping him, so he did trot around a bit.  He is just doing so much better in all aspects.

We just finished and cleaned up after a great Thanksgiving meal and are all thoroughly stuffed.  

Thank you, Lord, for all the good gifts that you give us. For Your unsurpassing love, Mike's recovery and huge turn-around in the past week, time away with family, terrific friends, and so much more. We love you, Lord.

Truly Miraculous

Hebrews 10:19-24

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

We are living testimonies to the faithfulness of God! The change in Mike over the last 5 days is truly miraculous. He has calmed down SO much and is more aware. I believe God has done and is doing an amazing work of healing in Mike. Thank you so much for your faithfulness in praying for us!

Sunday we met Carol and Ed at their church, Chapel Hill Bible Church. As we pulled into the parking lot, he was concerned that he was under-dressed for church. As we walked in, the first service was coming out and Mike greeted those who passed by us; plus, when Carol introduced us to people, Mike said "Nice to meet you."  He has not been acknowledging others or if someone says "Hi Mike." he says the same thing back to them. We enjoyed the great music and message and then went to Carol and Ed's house and had a delicious meal complete with creme brulee. I told Carol I felt like we had eaten at a 5 star restaurant! Mike read some of the paper and watched a bit of the weather channel. Then we both had wonderful massages by our niece,  Aimee. (If you live in the area, I highly recommend you visit Aimee. www.massagecarrboro.com You'll be glad you did.)  While I was getting my massage, Ed picked up Mike and put him to work raking leaves. Was great!  Mike is always wanting something to do and now that he is more stable and balanced, he is able to do more on his own. He was very tired when we got home and I could barely get him to stay up long enough to eat supper.  The one down-side of the past few days was we did not get much sleep Fri-Sun.

Yesterday we saw Dr. Gualtieri and last night tried a former medicine to help with sleep.  I think Mike slept well, only getting up twice, but Mike says he "didn't sleep a wink!" Dr. G was very late coming in to see us so we sat in the office for approx. 1 hour.  It was warm in there and 2 or 3 times Mike went out in the hall asking if they had forgotten us and to "turn down the heat!"  Dr. G was very pleased with Mike being more outspoken and saying what he thought. He kept telling Dr. G he wanted to sleep.  (On previous visits, Mike has been very quiet.)  Ed came over last night so that I could get out and walk with Kris and he and Mike did a couple of odd jobs. Ed said Mike washed the dishes and did fairly well.

Mike was looking forward to Scotty coming this morning. We shifted summer and winter clothes while we waited and Mike thought we were packing to move south.  He really does NOT like cold weather and keeps looking for ways to get us out of here! He still wants to be a pilot and told me the other day that we needed to save money so we could buy a plane. Oh my!

I am just so thrilled and encouraged by the change and pray that it stays. He still worries and gets stuck and needs to be reminded to turn off the water, turn on the light, the steps of how to do things, etc., but the calmness is a balm to my soul and a true gift from my Lord. One of which I am most grateful.

Mike and I are reading through Hebrews. It is so faith-strengthening. Lord, may I never shrink back, but with Your help always persevere.

Hebrews 10:35-39

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 

But my righteous one will live by faith.

 And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."

 But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

We used to laugh and say "Our family doesn't take trips, we take adventures!" It didn't matter whether it was from Ohio to Virginia or just an outing to a park, a family vacation to the outer banks or a day trip to the beach, somehow we always found a way to make it an adventure OR adventure found us! So the family motto seemed like a good title for our first blog, especially in light of the current adventure that the Lord has brought our way. This adventure started back in April with a sudden change of direction in our lives when Mike was involved in a serious accident that left him with traumatic brain injury. The subsequent months have been chronicled on our Caring Bridge website, but I felt that psychologically I needed to make a shift to a different format. One where I can interact more with our wonderful prayer warriors and supporters and just have a fresh start, removed from the sterile feel of white walls and separation. Green denotes life, growth, newness, and just happens to be Mike's and my favorite color. It gives me a feeling of warmth, hope, and new life.  So as we continue on this adventure of recovery and a new normal, I want to turn a corner and embrace the gift of life that God has blessed us with and be thankful.

We have so much to be thankful for: Mike's physical recovery is truly amazing, the great doctors, nurses, therapists, paid and volunteer caregivers, safe apartment with wonderful staff, being close to Keegan & Amy and Carol & Ed, prayer warriors all over the world, cards, notes, calls, gifts, churches in Hope Mills, Fayetteville, Raeford, and Raleigh, NC; Wilsons, VA; Texas, Ohio and more who are praying and supporting us and loving us, family and friends - what would we do without you?  And above all, thanks and praise and honor to our Lord Jesus Christ who is carrying us through this adventure. 

One of my favorite books is "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence. My copy is starting to fall apart and I'm reading it again for the ? time. I love Brother Lawrence's simplicity and my desire is that I too will practice God's presence every moment of the day with such heartfelt devotion and singleness of mind as he did.  "The worst trial he (Brother Lawrence) could imagine was losing his sense of God's presence, which had been with him for so long a time." "He added that he wasn't afraid of dying to self or losing himself in Christ, because complete surrender to God's will is the only secure road to follow. In it, there is always enough light to assure safe travel." "He said that in order to be sure we were doing God's will, we should simply develop an attitude of faith, hope, and love. We need not be concerned about anything else. It simply is not important, and should only be regarded as the means of getting to the final goal of being entirely lost in the love of God." 

Although this adventure is often rocky and hard, as Brother Lawrence said, when we continue to trust God and give ourselves completely to Him, it will be the only secure road and God will always provide what is needed to travel on it. I pray that somehow through the sharing of our story, some of you will be strengthened in your faith, or if you don't have Jesus in your life, you will come to know and accept him as your Savior. True joy is only found in Jesus.

I Peter 1:3-7
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.