Catching Up

I realized there are some things I haven't told y'all so wanted to catch up a bit. Also, in my last blog, I tried to highlight a couple of phrases and inadvertently mostly blocked them out. Keegan fixed that for me, so if you weren't able to read those lines, go back and all will be visible now.

Most importantly, I failed to write that the day after the 7 year anniversary of Mike's accident, his father, Jim, passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack. Jim and his partner, Sonia, lived in Florida. Mike's brother and sister flew down for the weekend to help with arrangements and be with Sonia. His ashes will later be returned to Ohio. Jim lived with Mike and I for 6 months when we lived in Ohio. Our boys were young at the time and I also took care of other children in our home. It was a busy time of life and while I kept a relatively straight and clean home, Jim liked cleaning and asked if I minded if he cleaned. Have at it, Jim! It's not my favorite thing to do and I was not offended! My house had never been so clean as when Jim lived with us. He even did the dishes, so was a great help to have around. The boys were financially blessed, because he always gave them his coins. On his rare visits after he moved away, he still brought them bags of loose change. 

Over the past 7 years, I have actually come to know Jim and love him more than before. Usually it was Mike who would talk with him on the phone every other Sunday, but after the accident I was the one to talk with Jim or Sonia. Conversations with Jim were usually short and somewhat abrupt, but occasionally he would chat more and once he shared some from his young years. Stories I had never heard before. His growing up was very different from mine with family relationships not coming as easily. It gave me a glimpse into why he was a bit distant. I had the opportunity to visit Jim and Sonia in March of 2018 and am so glad I did. I think Mike's accident hit Jim hard and he never failed to ask me if the doctors gave me any hope of a full recovery. I believe Jim loved his family, he just didn't always know how to show it. He was kind and helpful to me when he lived with us and in these post-accident years he was an encouragement to me to continue strong. He often thanked me for taking such good care of his son and he knew it was only possible because of "the good Lord".  I will miss those short, but heartfelt conversations. 

As a follow-up to my last post, I received a call from the PA who was none to happy with the RN for calling her and me with such an alarming report when in actuality Mike was nowhere near as bad as she made it sound. The PA also thought Mike was in serious trouble until she spoke with the day nurse who painted a different picture and later when she heard of my morning with Mike. She was going to be speaking with the RN and the director, but I don't know what came of that. The RN is still there and we haven't had any more alarming phone calls; however....

A couple of weeks ago I noticed that Mike was chewing his food differently and it was staying in his mouth a long time. His norm had been gorging, so this was quite noticeable. I wondered if his teeth hurt, but when a dentist came to check patients, Mike wouldn't let him look in his mouth. He doesn't really let anyone brush his teeth either, so it's very likely something is wrong; however, he's been uncooperative with oral hygiene ever since that last fall and resulting surgery in June 2018. I think he would have to be sedated in order to check his teeth. There is no noticeable swelling or redness that we can see. 

On the 16th his poor handling of food was more noticeable so I asked if he could be re-evaluated by Speech Therapy. This past week he was and was put back on a pureed diet. Thursday when I was there, ST worked with him and found that he swallows thick liquid well, but even applesauce stayed at the back of his throat and he didn't swallow unless given liquid to chase it down. This is a danger because he could aspirate if food stays in the back of his throat where the esophagus and trachea meet. The ST was going to train the CNAs to feed him slowly and make sure he swallows after the soft foods. She tried giving him a mashed banana that evening, but he didn't handle it well either. It will have to be pureed foods for now and she will work with him 3 times a week to see if she can get him back to soft or solid foods. The ST noted that with his constant omming, his jaws rarely get a break. It's possible that he is having joint pain there which would make sense in regard to chewing, but I don't know that it would affect his swallowing. He's also had several episodes of vomiting and diarrhea, so an ultrasound of his abdomen was done later that day. Everything seems to be in good working order, only some gas. Bottom line is we don't know why the change.

I did tell him about his father dying, and it's possible there is some depression or sadness related to his Dad's death, but that shouldn't cause these types of issues. There has been some medication change also, but it was getting rid of medication and one was dropped about a month ago and the other on Tuesday of last week. He had not been sleeping well and was disturbing Mr. B. The nighttime Seroquel was reduced and the Trazodone increased. Mr. B said Mike's been sleeping great, which allows him to sleep well also. One problem solved, two more pop up.

A true blessing this past Thursday was taking communion with Mike. Our Pastor from Grace drove up to the facility and we had our own private communion service on the deck. Pastor, Mike, Mr. Ommm and me. Mike ommmed through most of it, but it was a blessing all the same and had been far too long since he had partaken. My one regret is that I didn't get a photo of our special service together. 

It was beautiful at church today to remember the One who gave his life to pay for our sins, Jesus, plus remember those who gave their lives for our freedom. Tomorrow is Memorial Day. As you enjoy family, friends and cook-outs, take a few moments to remember those who gave all so that we may enjoy these simple pleasures. Many homes have empty seats and hurting hearts, remember their families also.

John 15:13 (NIV)

Greater love has no one than this:

to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.