My visit with Mike 2 weeks ago started out much like all our other visits - he was sitting in the hall omming. The highlight for me was sharing some of our Richlands Dairy and Creamery ice cream with Mike, Mr. B. and the staff, plus a couple residents. Mike sat in his chair as people came in and out of his room to get samples of ice cream. It was definitely a hit. I started talking with the daughter of a woman across the hall who was having a rough day. Her Mom's hearing aid had been lost and no one could find it. I offered her some ice cream for which she was thankful. In a few minutes, she returned to get a cup for her Mom and said it had made their day. 😊🍨
Once the ice cream was all gone, we went for our usual walk. The difference that day was that Mike sprung up out of the chair instead of two of us straining to get him to stand. Then once we were out on the deck, he would spring up out of the chair and move to another chair and sit and then hop up and do it again. He hasn't done this in over a year.
The CNA brought his lunch out to the deck. He is still on pureed foods for the most part and although the speech therapist said he worked hard he is not progressing well enough to move back to a completely soft diet or solid food. While eating, I asked him if the food tasted good and he said no. He has not spoken a word to me in several weeks, so it was good to hear him speak. When he was finished I asked him if he was full and again he said no. So I said, "Let's go to the kitchen and ask if you can have something else." The kitchen staff is really great and knows all the patients personally and what they can and can't have. I was not hesitant at all to ask them for more food, because I know they care about Mike and want to do what they can for him.
When I asked if he could have more food, the woman asked what would he like. "He would probably love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I don't know if he's allowed to have that." She said "Well, I would have to slurry it, but we can try it." I had no idea what she meant by "slurry it". I had visions of a peanut butter sandwich being twirled around in a blender and it was not very appealing. After a few minutes, she came out to the table with an intact peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a clear thick liquid poured over top to soften it. I asked for thickened milk for him to drink with it and she brought that too. I cut it into small pieces and fed it to Mike and he really seemed to enjoy it. At one point, I paused and thought he was trying to say something or was still chewing when he blurted out "I want another piece!"
I was so glad he was enjoying it and asked him what flavor of jelly it was. He didn't say anything at first so I gave options strawberry, grape, .... and then he said "it tastes like gold". I wasn't sure if he meant that it tasted so good to him it was like gold or if he wasn't able to find the right word, but he look delighted with his slurried peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk and he was talking to me! Halfway through he said it tasted like chocolate, so I think he was trying to find the right word, but at any rate he ate the whole thing and drank all of his milk.
Staff and some of the other residents are always so happy to see him up and walking. One night, the previous week, I received a call that he was extremely agitated and hitting and kicking and jumping up out of his chair. The nurse tried to walk with him but he would not walk with her. I don't know why, but it seems he will only walk with me or I'm more persistent in making him get up and move. Even though I'm pretty sure he understands most of what we say, the reasoning and the ability to understand that if he walked more he would do better, is not there.
After eating the sandwich, I asked him to walk back to his room and brush his teeth. I was surprised when we got back to his room and I got him to the sink, that he stood right there at the sink, put his hands under the water, and swished out his mouth. I gave him the toothbrush and he brushed his own teeth - also the first in over a year.
That day as we had walked around the halls, several people asked me, "Who is Wendy?" I have no idea. They said one day in the dining room he just kept asking for Wendy. I told them maybe she was a former girlfriend. LOL! 😄Mr. Bentley told me that one night Mike started laughing and said right out loud "that was funny!"
This past week after I related some of the above to our Bible Study group, someone made the comment that the above day probably gave me a lot of hope. I responded "You know, maybe it should, but it's been over 7 years of good days and bad days, so I don't see a day like that as if he were getting better, it's just a good day." I'm thankful for the good days and times when he talks to me or seems to enjoy a certain food or activity, but it's just that. There is no progressive "getting better".
Thursday when I saw him he never spoke a word to me; he ommed the entire time. We walked up and down the halls, but only after 2 attempts to get him to stand and once standing, I had to stand behind him and lean into him so that he would not sit back down. Once he was going, we walked for 30 minutes or so. We couldn't go outside since it was pouring rain. I went through his clothes, threw out some old/worn things and put in some new things that fit him better. That was it. Not a bad day, but not a great one either. Then after I was back home, I received a call that Mike had popped up out of his chair and fallen. He wasn't hurt, thank God.
This coming week I look forward to all of us Rices being together for the first time since the Christmas before Mike's accident. We will all converge near Appomattox for a few days to be together and see Mike. We will not bring Mike to stay with us, but will visit him. We found out a couple of years ago that it is too overwhelming for Mike when we add him to lots of people talking, laughing, playing games, etc. As much as I would like to have him with us, it becomes stressful for all of us. I'm always wanting to try things, but am thankful for my family that is more realistic and protects me and Mike from my good intentions. It is better to keep him in his routine and a few people at a time go see him. We may try one group visit at a park close to the facility. Please keep us in your prayers in regards to our visits and for travelling mercies. I pray that it will be a blessed family time together. Our oldest son, Caleb and his family will be flying in from Arizona, our youngest, Keegan and his family will be driving from North Carolina. Mike's sister and family will fly in from Texas, and his brother's family will drive in from Ohio along with Mom Rice. Exciting!!
Then next Saturday my children (including spouses) and grands will head back with me to the farm for my Mom's 90th birthday celebration with a reunion of family members on her side of the family.
Yesterday we had a mini celebration lunch on her actual 90th with close friends and family who live right here. Next weekend everyone that can will be here. Another fun event to look forward to!! Y'all Come! |
The Creamery continues to do well for which we are most grateful. The ice cream is delicious and you won't find better chocolate milk anywhere! I'm still learning my job as bookkeeper and there are a few kinks to work out with that and at the Creamery, but we are enjoying seeing the lines of people. It is so great to see folks
talking, kids playing, and smiles on faces.
Psalm 13:6
"I will sing to the Lord,
for He has been good to me."
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