Thanks, Mr. B

Today is Mike's 62nd birthday. I celebrated with him yesterday. He was there, but not. It was a gorgeous day in the low 70's with a gentle breeze. I wheeled him out to the covered deck, presents and a small cooler in tow. If it was in my power to disinvite Mr. Omm, I would, but he was our constant companion. I tried to interest Mike in his gifts, but he wouldn't even take them out of the bag or try to open the cards. Omm, omm, omm.  So I showed him his gifts from his Mom, sister and me. Opened all of his cards and fed him yogurt, cookies, and watermelon, plus his lunch when it arrived. He wants to put everything in his mouth now. I gave him a deck of Uno cards and he tried to bite the box, a Nerf football - mouth. I tried to toss the football and get him to toss it back, no. Tried playing Uno, nothing. It's hard to describe what Mike is like now. Here's a link to a short video I took yesterday to give you a glimpse. https://photos.app.goo.gl/7kMgbcgzS3vt2a8L8. 

Recently, I was messaging with a friend who lost a loved one and one of her comments helped me to realize that part of my new struggle, was that again I have lost part of Mike. It's another death. Six years and 4 months ago, I lost the Mike I had married and known. I had grieved the loss of his personality and who we were and had accepted the new Mike and what we could now be and do together. Now there is a different "new" Mike. Whereas I could still take him out to the park, Subway, walking at Lowe's and the dentist, now I can't take him anywhere. We were able to play board and card games and he would talk with me sometimes, now we cannot do those things and he doesn't talk. I'm not giving up hope that he will get better, yet I must accept where we are now. My visits consist of wheeling him around the halls or outside, feeding him, washing his face, attempting to brush his teeth and shave him, and tacking photos and cards to his bulletin board.

A bright spot in all this is Mr. B, Mike's 3rd roommate. Friday, August 17, Mike was moved to the other wing. Mike's former roommate Mr. N (2nd roommate) had been discharged that morning and they needed a room for a lady to come in. Mr. B. did not want to move and has been there several months. Mike and I went down after lunch that day to meet Mr. B and introduce ourselves. The room is bright and somehow feels bigger. Mr. B's mind is clear and I enjoy talking with him. He's had a lot of sadness in his life and said his daughter doesn't visit very often. The day after Mike was moved, I was heading out of town with my Mom and sisters. I wasn't thrilled to have Mike moved, but since he hasn't really settled in yet and after meeting Mr. B, I saw the Lord's hand in it. Mr. B assured me that he would keep an eye on Mike and he would call the nurses if he saw that Mike needed something. "If they don't come when I push the button, I'll holler to get someone in here." I laughed.

Back in Mike's room yesterday, after our "celebration", I asked Mr. B how the week had been. He said he and Mike had gotten along just fine. He said Mike had dropped his Brutus Buckeye pillow so Mr. B used his grabber and gave it back to Mike, who promptly threw it back at Mr. B. Mr. B gave it back to him again and he did the same thing. "Now Mike, that's your pillow. I'm not going to keep it. I'll put it right here beside me in my wheelchair for now." He said Mike seemed content with that. Another time they were tossing a small pillow back and forth between their beds. Mr. B said they did that for a good while and Mike seemed to like the game.  He said he talks to Mike and thinks he is a good guy. It makes me smile that Mr. B is interacting with Mike and watching out for him. Next weekend, Keegan and family are coming and we'll have a bigger birthday party. I want to invite Mr. B to join us on the deck. He said he'd never been out there.

I tried to brush Mike's teeth and shave him, but he kept grabbing my arm which he has been doing for quite a while. I investigated his mouth as best I could without getting bitten, and I think he may have a bad tooth or some issue with his gums. Mr. B said I needed a bright light to look inside - great idea! - I used my cell phone flashlight and the gums looked swollen on the upper right to me. I informed his nurse and she was going to write it up so that we can either have Mike seen by the dentist that comes to the facility or make plans to have him taken out to one. I hope and pray that can happen this week. I don't know if he will let anyone prob around in there without being sedated. Since his current state could be due to anesthesia, I'm leery of more sedation, but if he's in pain, something needs to be done. We'll just have to see what a dentist says.

Due to the generosity and thoughtfulness of our cousins, my Mom and sisters and I enjoyed a gorgeous and relaxing week at Myrtle Beach. It was a wonderful get-away for us all and a special time together. We sisters took a long walk almost every morning just after the sun came up and then I remained on the beach and enjoyed doing my yoga stretches amid the sound of ocean waves breaking on the shore. God's beautiful creation was everywhere I looked. I thought of Mike often since the beach was his favorite place to be and I would love to be able to take him there. That's not possible now and may never be. As I thought about that, I realized if Mike never sees another beach this side of heaven, once we are in heaven, that won't matter because it will be even better and the beauty here will pale in comparison.

Psalm 33:6-9 NIV

"By the word of the Lord were the heavens made,

their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;

he puts the deep into storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the Lord;

let all the people of the world revere him.

For he spoke, and it came to be;

he commanded, and it stood firm."