Happy 64th, Mike

Today is Mike's birthday. Today Mike turned 64. Today I visited Mike through the door and he barely looked up. I took him a milkshake, but he wasn't awake enough to even try it. It was a sad sort of birthday.

Thankfully, my friend Nancy went with me which helped to keep the blues away. We drove 75 minutes, handed off his card, new socks, and milkshake, looked at him through the door for a few minutes, spoke with the nurse practitioner (or is she a PA?) and left. Mike was very quiet today so they are keeping an eye on him. That was it. There's not much to say. 

Yet, a sweet moment occurred when a precious woman rolled down the hall in her wheelchair, rolled right beside Mike and gently asked "Aren't you going to wake up? Look." We exchanged glances through the door, she tried a couple more times, and I mouthed "Thank you. It's OK." Nancy and I waved and smiled at her and turned to leave. That little exchange made the entire visit better. The kindness of a stranger trying to help us have a little connection with a door in-between us. 

On my other blog www.reflectionsbythepond.com I am sharing thoughts from Philippians 4. Currently I am working on one about rejoicing always. Today I didn't feel much like rejoicing and I don't think Paul meant that I should rejoice that my husband is confined to a wheelchair and can't talk to me, but that there is always a reason for a Christian to rejoice in the Lord. It's a conscience decision, a shift in focus. I can rejoice because I know that God has a purpose for this and I know I can trust Him, I can rejoice that I am a child of God, I can rejoice that Mike's and my names are written in the Book of Life, I can rejoice knowing that this life is temporary, I can rejoice that God provided my friend, Nancy, to be with me today and ease the sadness, I can rejoice that Mike is so well taken care of, I can rejoice and remember how God made a way to get Mike into that facility. In the midst of rejoicing and giving thanks, it moves my focus from the sad to the blessings and, in that shift, the heaviness and sadness fall away and are replaced with gratitude and joy. It is not a giddy joy, it is a deep inner joy and peace. A lingering ache remains, because I am human and it does hurt, but it is not debilitating. 

Philippians 4:4

"Rejoice in the Lord always. 

I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Happy Birthday, Mike.

I Love you.

COVID-19

Hello dear friends,

The facility Mike is in now has 2 cases of Coronavirus. They had done so well until last week when one of their employees tested positive. Then this past week one of the residents also tested positive. The staff member did not work with Mike and the resident lived on a different hall from Mike. Both are no longer at the facility, but are either at home or in a hospital hopefully regaining their health. The facility continues to strictly follow the CDC guidelines, as well as, those of the area hospital. The residents have been isolated to their rooms throughout the pandemic and no visitors allowed inside the building. 

It was to be expected that this virus would find it's way there also. I was thankfully amazed at how long they were able to keep it away, especially when there are over 80 staff members coming and going throughout the week. 

I visited with Mike via video again this week. He looked good and was eating breakfast. A couple of weeks ago he was not eating well, but his appetite seems to have returned to normal. There was no apparent physical reason for the reduced appetite. The isolation is being hard on all of the residents and it appears there is a general decline in their overall well-being. We are all social creatures to one degree or another. Residents of skilled nursing facilities are already removed from their homes and families and this added shut-down and isolation has made it even harder on them. Please keep Mike and the other residents in your prayers. 

In all of this turmoil in our world, we look to the Scriptures for our guidance and encouragement. I have focused in on Philippians 4 lately and will be sharing more on my other blog, (https://www.reflectionsbythepond.com/) but God's word tells us to "rejoice always...the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything".  We are to pray about every situation with thankfulness and God's peace, that surpasses what we can understand, will be with us. His peace is real, soul-deep peace that lasts and cannot be taken away by outer circumstances. We must fix our minds on Him for He alone can guard our hearts and minds.

Philippians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always.

I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Through the Door

Through the door.

Two weeks ago, I drove to Appomattox to "visit" Mike for the first time since early March. The staff have been so wonderful and I wanted to take them quarts of ice cream as a "thank you" and see Mike while one of my sisters was with Mom. One of the administrative staff members met me at my car and took the ice cream inside while I walked around to the deck so that I could see Mike in person for the first time in over 3 months. I stood on the outside of the door and Mike was wheeled to the inside of the door. He would not look up to see me and so the CNA went to ask another CNA to come and help get him standing. Meanwhile the Speech Therapist and the administrator, who had taken the ice cream in, were continually trying to get him to look up and I was talking to him through the door. It wasn't working.

The iron grip.

Once the others returned, they wrangled Mike out of the wheelchair and tried to tilt his head up, but whenever you try to make Mike do something, he does the opposite and I told them it felt like we were torturing him! There's Mike being held up by two women and another one trying to get his chin up all while Mike is resisting, omming, in a squat position and clinging to the door handle with all of his might. The whole scene was becoming emotional for me on the other side of the door, so I asked them to let him sit back down. When they tried, he would not let go of the door bar and then it became comical with four of them trying to pry his fingers loose first from the door and then from their arm or hand all while he was still in a squat type stance. It is amazing how strong his grip is. Once he was successfully back in his wheelchair, they cracked the door open and asked me to talk to him. Finally, he looked up at me, but if there is any recognition of who I am, I cannot tell. They seem to think he acts differently when he hears my voice. It comes across as more agitated to me, so maybe there is some understanding or memory there and he's just not able to express it in any other way. He did seem to lock his eyes on me once he saw me.

Honestly, he seems to pay more attention to me when we video-chat than he did when I was able to go inside and be with him or through the door. Maybe being on the phone helps to block out other distractions and noise. The same day I visited, everyone at the facility and all the staff were being tested for the coronavirus. Praise God! the results came back this week and all residents and staff tested negative for the virus! What great news!                                                                        These past months have been busy for me. The weather was so beautiful and cool this Spring which was wonderful for weeding all the flower gardens, plus planting flowers and a few vegetables. Things have been fairly normal around here with my bookkeeping job and taking care of Mom and the house. I tried to limit the number of trips to the grocery store, but still took deposits to the bank and mail to the Post Office. At first, I was thankful for a break from driving to Appomattox, but now I miss getting to see Mike and do little things for him. I miss the ladies Bible study that met on Tuesdays, and I miss "normal" church, especially the singing and our fellowship suppers. I'm thankful we can meet together again, but it's so weird with everyone wearing masks, no singing, no hugs, no breaking bread together. I knew I tended to read lips as people talked, but I have really noticed it now that I can't see people's lips. I have to concentrate a lot more on what I'm hearing without that visual aid.

Last week, I had the distinct blessing of spending the entire week at the beach with my youngest son's family and in-laws. We all stayed in a house and only went back and forth to the beach where everyone was practicing social distancing and the beach was not crowded. We picked up some delicious seafood one night, but otherwise ate at home. The highlight for me was playing with my grandchildren in the ocean and on the sand every day and playing games with the adults at night. The weather was gorgeous and we only received rain in the afternoon or evenings. It was a wonderful vacation! I couldn't help but think how much Mike would have enjoyed being at the beach and playing with his granddaughters. The beach was his favorite place to be and he was like a fish in the water. How I would love for him to be able to go to a beach again. My oldest son's family couldn't join us because they have returned to Arizona. Unfortunately for us, things didn't work out in North Carolina, but fortunately for them Caleb's job in AZ was still open and his co-workers were glad to get him back. It was a whirlwind few months for them, plus driving back to AZ at the beginning of the pandemic with a baby almost due, but God really provided for them all along the way.  My 6th grand-baby, a beautiful, healthy girl, arrived safely in April and they are happily getting settled in their home now. While it was a surprise that they were returning, there is peace that they are where they are supposed to be.

I shared previously that I needed to have my diamond ring and wedding band resized and I was able to do that a few weeks ago. It feels good to have those visual reminders, of the promise I made to Mike, back where they belong and to know that small businesses were able to re-open. Our local jeweler did such a good job and had my rings so shiny that they looked like new. 

A few years ago, I went to a Renaissance Festival in Charlotte with Keegan's family and I bought a small copper ring from one of the vendors. At the spot where it is soldered together, it looks like a little heart. I wear it on my right hand as a visual reminder that my heart belongs to Christ and that what I say and do needs to be glorifying to Him. I am not my own, I have been bought with a price. 

I Corinthians 6:19 & 20

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

These are very unsettling times, but as believers in Jesus, God's son, we have the assurance that He has already won the battle over sickness, death, sin, and evil. He is victorious and we are His - what do we have to fear? Nothing here on earth will last forever, only through Jesus Christ is there life eternal. That is the message that is needed in a fearful, uncertain, and dying world. Nothing is promised here. Jesus promises that when we admit that we sin and believe that He died on the cross to pay the penalty required by God, the Father, then we will spend eternity with Him. That is solid truth and will not change, unlike the world we know. 

John 1:12

"But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I find visual reminders helpful, especially during difficult times or times of temptation. My rings are scanned by my eyes often every day and remind me of God's faithfulness to me and how I need to be faithful to Him and to my husband. Tonight I am reminded that there are those who do not know or understand what Jesus has done and I need to be more vocal. This is not news to be kept to myself. This is news with eternal consequences. I am mentally adding this reminder to the significance of my rings. 

Do you have a visual reminder?

Our 36th

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Everyone!

Thirty-six years ago today, in the little country church where I went as a child and where I am a member again now, I said my "till death us do part" vows to Michael Collins Rice. We both favored the color green and in 1984 St. Patrick's Day fell on the Saturday of my spring break from Southside Community College. It was a perfectly beautiful March day with many family and friends gathered around us to witness our wedding vows and our love for each other. 

Today was also a perfectly beautiful March day with temperatures probably very similar to that day 36 years ago. But today I could not be with my hubby. All the nursing homes are locked down and not allowing any visitors due to the Coronavirus. Not that he knows the day or me, as far as I can tell. 

Yet God, my gracious Heavenly Father is a giver of good gifts and gave me a nugget of joy today. I called and asked Mike's nurse if she would put the phone to his ear so that I could wish him a Happy Anniversary and tell him I loved him. Right away she asked if I had an Android phone with Duo on it. Yes! She gave me her personal cell phone # and told me to video call on that and she'd let me see Mike and him see me. What a precious gift that was to me! Mike was in his usual spot, sitting in the hall in his wheelchair, but he did not "omm" the entire time I talked with him. He was looking at the cell phone screen, rubbing his head and looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing ever came out. He's a little congested and his eyes were red, but overall he looked good.

That's why I like where Mike is so much. The staff is so caring and kind. The nurse told me to feel free to use her number to video chat with Mike whenever I wanted. She's there most days. I will not abuse the privilege, but I appreciate her thoughtfulness and willingness. It made my day.

I praise God that He has given me the desire and ability to remain faithful to the vows Mike and I spoke to one another on March 17, 1984. It has not always been easy - bringing 2 very different people to live together "till death us do part" takes a lot of work, some compromise, sacrifice and at times learning to agree to disagree, plus being able to forgive and ask for forgiveness. We had all of that, plus laughter, crazy adventures, two terrific sons, many moves, and a love for God that continually drew us to each other even when we really didn't want to stick it out. We said our vows before God and many witnesses and we did not want to break our promise to each other and more importantly to God. God is so faithful and here we are 36 years later still married. Praise be to God!

I'll leave you with some photos of our wedding day and one of our favorite Bible verses. 

Colossians 1:10-14

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord

and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work,

growing in the knowledge of God, 

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might

 so that you may have great endurance and patience, 

and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, 

who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints

 in the kingdom of light. 

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness

 and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 

in whom we have redemption, 

the forgiveness of sins.

Happy Anniversary to us!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you!

Surgery Update

It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 weeks since my surgery. Thank you so much for the prayers, texts, emails, calls, cards, food and visits. Overall, I believe I've done quite well. 

Before surgery with my
bair hugger warmer gown.

Two of my sisters, Gayle and Carol, came in on Tuesday, February 18. Carol came to be with Mom and Gayle came to take me to the hospital and stay with me there. Our appointment time was 5:30 a.m. on Wednesday, the 19th, so we left here about 4:15 a.m. and were the first ones in the surgical center waiting room. We had barely sat down when a nurse came to get us. After getting me ready, I was wheeled out for surgery at 7:30. Everyone at Johnston Willis Surgical Center and later at the hospital were really wonderful - from the receptionist to the nurses, CNAs, doctors, food service, housekeeping, financial rep. and med techs. Each one was professional, courteous, kind and caring. 

Surgery went well and I was done by 11:30 a.m. or so. They kept me on oxygen for a while and my mouth was extremely dry, so I kept drinking a lot of water. Gayle was a wonderful caregiver, keeping my water cup full and ordering food. I didn't have much of an appetite, but ate a few bites. Most of Wednesday afternoon and evening are a fog to me. Their main goal for me that day was to rest and control nausea. Other than having my children, I think it's the first time I've stayed overnight as the patient.  It was the quietest wing of a hospital I've ever been on and Gayle and I actually got some sleep. No loud beeping and whirring machines and alarms going off like I was used to with Mike.

The goal the next day was to walk and successfully use the bathroom. Praise God, I did not have to come home with a catheter! I was easily able to walk also. It was the getting in and out of bed that hurt. We were discharged about 11:30 and on our way home. I was sent home on 3 medications, but I am sensitive to medicine and my stomach was not tolerating these very well. I kept weaning out medicine until on Tuesday I was not taking anything and began to feel much better. The pain has never been bad except when I cough or sneeze, the upset stomach from the medicine was the worst of it!

I've been able to walk every day at least a half mile and yesterday walked over a mile. That might have been a little bit too much as I've been more tired today. I am blessed to have 2 friends, Nancy and Bobbi, who often come and walk with me. My back has done fairly well; although, it has hurt more today. It is hard since I can't do my regular stretches and twists and I'm not sure how to keep it from getting stiff. I will go Thursday for my follow-up appointment and should be able to drive after that, but have really enjoyed the rest of not driving.

I am so grateful to Carol and Gayle for taking the time to come and take care of me and Mom. The first few days it was difficult to put on socks and shoes and they pampered me. My sweet Momma so wanted to do something for me and so she massaged between my shoulders. Carol stayed for a week and cooked lots of food which I am still enjoying. My other sister, Vivian, had come the end of January which helped me to catch up on paperwork and Creamery bookkeeping so that I am not so far behind now. I've been working a little here and there and today was my first day to spend several hours back at work. My brother, Hugh, stopped by this evening to check on me and give me a hug. I am so blessed with my Mom and siblings and thank God for giving them to me. 

I am thankful for the skill of the doctor and nurses, but mostly for God who made our bodies in such an amazing way that they can heal so beautifully after being cut open. He is the master physician and holds all of life in His hands. All praise to our creator and sustainer, Almighty God! Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals.

Deuteronomy 32:39

“See now that I myself am he!

    There is no god besides me.

I put to death and I bring to life,

    I have wounded and I will heal,

    and no one can deliver out of my hand."

A Gift

If I remember correctly, this past Christmas was the first one I have not spent with Mike since we were married in 1984. This year I made the decision to spend it with our children since they are all living in the Charlotte area now and I had not had the privilege of having Christmas with all of them since our guys got married and had children. 

Caleb & Anastasia had just moved into their home mere days before Christmas, but Caleb had his kitchen set up and was ready to cook. Christmas Eve is my grandson's birthday and so we decided to celebrate his birthday and our Christmas together that afternoon and evening. It was so fun to all be together and the food was delicious! Cooking is relaxing to Caleb and NOT cooking is relaxing to me! Of course it was a bit chaotic with 5 children 5 and under, but it was happy chaos.

I stayed with Keegan's family and on Christmas day we took things slow, read the story of Jesus' birth while the girls placed the figures on a flannel wall hanging and mainly ate our way through the day! When Amy's parents and a friend came over, each one brought food! I escaped to Caleb's for a while to stop eating and see what they were up to. It's so great that they are only 15 minutes apart.

On the 26th, I headed back to Virginia via Appomattox to spend time with Mike and God gave me the greatest gift. I gave Mike a large print Bible and after reading to him, I handed him the Bible and he actually seemed to read for a little while. The first time in months that he has done that. It was a precious gift from God.  All combined, this was one of my most favorite Christmases ever!   

Mike read again the next week while I was there and it seemed the medication change was making a difference; however, as we've seen so often in the past, it was not to last. The next week he was quite active and omming and taking the Bible from me. Clipping his fingernails was quite a struggle and anything he got his hands on went to his left leg like he was trying to rub it or scrape it. Last week he was a bit calmer, but back to the constant omming, rocking, not reading or wanting to be touched. I tried to rub his left leg, but he was quite resistant.

Basically we are back to what he was. There are times when he seems calmer, but he becomes more "agitated" or "active" once I speak to him. The doctor says that's a good thing. That he probably recognizes me, but to me it's more distressing. I like seeing him more peaceful. When I asked the CNA (who works with him almost every day) if she had noticed him being calmer in recent weeks, she said "no".  

So we accept things the way they are, trust God that He has a plan, and take one day at a time. God's grace is sufficient for that and has carried us through almost 8 years. One. Day. At. A. Time.

My new morning view

Right after Christmas, the farm hired a young lady to help with the cows and she needed housing, so  I moved out of the farm trailer. With help from family, a painter, and friends we moved out what was in the 2 back bedrooms at my Mom's and fixed it up to be my little suite. We brought my furnishings over so that I now have a space that feels like mine within Mom's house. It's working out well and makes life easier for me. I enjoyed my space at the trailer and basically just moved it over here.

My back is doing ok, I have to be careful not to overdo and often sit with my ice pack at the end of the day and try to always remember to take it with me when I drive. My bladder prolapse surgery is this Wednesday, Feb. 19, and I am more concerned about how my back will do post surgery, when I cannot do my full range of stretches or go to the Chiropractor. I appreciate your prayers and know that God has this under control also. Doctors do what they can, but my life is in God's hands and I know that full well. Whatever may come, God is there.

Psalm 73:26-28

"My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart 

and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;

you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;

I will tell of all your deeds."

A Medical Report

I knew it had been a long time since I wrote, but didn't realize it had been 3 months. Life has been busy and days seem to go much too quickly. I'll give a brief account of Fall happenings, but first the medical reports.

In late summer, early Fall, I noticed that Mike looked so thin.  I usually see him every week, but due to various things I had not seen him for 3 weeks and the difference was quite noticeable when I walked in. When I inquired about his weight, he had indeed lost way too much weight. That morning he weighed 127 lbs. He's 5'11", I'm 5'4" and that was less than me! The nurses and CNAs said he was eating everything as usual and received an Ensure 3X/day, but didn't always drink those. Previously, I had asked the dietitian if the slurried peanut butter & jelly sandwiches could be added as a snack in the afternoon and supposedly they were being given to him from time to time. He also gets a double portion at meal time and eats it all. Of course, it is the pureed food, so not the most appetizing. 

The doctor ran blood work and some other tests, but there was no apparent reason for the loss in weight. He said that often in dementia patients, around the 7th year after the onset, there is "failure to thrive" and one of the main indications is loss of appetite, but Mike was eating. It was a mystery. The only thing I had noticed was that Mike didn't want to drink as much as he used to and we cannot force him to drink. Over the next few weeks, he did begin to gain and last time I asked he had gained 6 lbs. Still underweight for him, but at least he is gaining. One day I brought him yogurt and gave that to him after lunch, but obviously it was too much as it all came back up within the next hour. It is a difficult balancing act when he does not have the ability to say when he's full or hungry. 

The Psych NP no longer comes to the facility, so I am working more closely with the MD who visits the facility regularly. I am thankful for this as he wants to do the same thing I've wanted and get Mike off of some of the psychotropic medications, plus he's there a couple of times every week. The Psych NP was only there every 3 weeks. It's a different doctor from when Mike first came to Appomattox and I guess it's my fault I hadn't communicated with him more. You would think after all this time I would know how to navigate the system, but I don't. It seemed to me that Mike was put under the Psych NP and she's the one who always contacted me about Mike's medication or problems, I was never referred to Dr. Gezen before, but should have asked. 

Probably the biggest difference or change of focus is to make Mike more comfortable. For over a year now and various medication changes, there's been little to no change. Mike omms, looks restless, doesn't walk or talk, can't feed himself or help with any of his activities of daily living (ADLs), doesn't seem to know me from anyone else and needs total care for all of his needs. I told the doctor I would like to see Mike more comfortable. Dr. Gezen said if it was him, he would hope his family gave him something to make him feel good, not just comfortable. He said often the psych drugs don't make people feel good. His recommendation was to give Mike pain medication and decrease the psych medication. It sounded like a good plan to me, so over the past couple of weeks he has begun to implement these changes. My desire is to see Mike calmer and hope these changes will facilitate that and indeed make Mike feel better.

I have also had some health concerns - two of which are why I'm not trying to walk with Mike anymore. The last few times I tried to walk with him, involved a lot of straining to get him up and he didn't really want to walk, plus was more uncoordinated in walking and needed more assistance. I have scoliosis and for years have managed it with fairly regular visits to the Chiropractor and almost daily yoga stretching. Fall around the farm is a very busy time, I'm older (imagine that!) and finding that my back can't handle as much anymore. I lifted heavy pots as I decorated the farm for the festival, moved pumpkins from here to there, helped put up tents, stood for long hours at admissions on the weekends and then sat too much doing bookkeeping during the week, etc. I also neglected my practice of stretching in the mornings and did not go to see the Chiropractor for several months. This all resulted in pain that ran across my lower back and over my left hip to the point of causing trouble walking when the pain grabbed me.

After about a week and the pain bringing me to tears at times, I went to an Urgent Care where they did a CT scan, the first one I've ever had. The scan showed that my scoliosis is at 60 degrees (or is it percent?), I have degenerative disc disease, and my L4 & L5 are compressed. I was given anti-inflammatory medication and muscle relaxers. That week I went to see the Chiropractor and resumed my yoga stretching as I could bear it. My stomach didn't like the medicine very much, but I was able to take the anti-inflammatory for a few days. This all started the end of October and I am so thankful to report that after 3 visits to the Chiroprator and resuming my daily yoga practice, I am free of that grabbing pain and only occasionally take an Aleve. Praise God! I did go see a back doctor, but was doing so well by then that he said just keep doing what I was doing! 

Reason #2 may seem strange to share, but my life's been a fairly open book for over 7 years now, so...the second reason I don't walk with Mike now is that I have stage 3 prolapsed bladder and will need surgery in the new year. Lifting, pushing and pulling anything is not a good idea for me at all. 

Regarding Fall Festival on the farm - it was a HUGE success and we were almost overwhelmed by the number of people that came out to experience farm life and visit the Creamery in October. OK, we were overwhelmed, but in a good way and thanks to T.R. & Brittany's great organization and all the workers and volunteers, I believe people had a great time. Including the little ones, 2 years old and under, we had 2 or 3 days of over 1,000 people come through per day! Then there were school tours every day of the week, but I didn't help with those. After talking with so many people at admission, I lost my voice the last Saturday of the Festival and I still cannot sing the high notes I usually can.  It's wonderful to see families enjoying the great outdoors and learning about agriculture and specifically dairy, but I will have to be more careful next year and limit some of my involvement.

In late summer, we had the joyous news that our oldest son landed a job in NC. Yay!  His wife and children came in early October and stayed here on the farm with us, with short visits to NC where they all stayed with Keegan's family. Caleb is staying with Keegan since he is already working and they are still in transition. Praise the Lord their home in AZ sold and they are in contract on a house in NC so Lord willing will be settled in their new place the middle of December. It is so wonderful to have them only 4 hours away instead of on the other side of the U.S., plus they will only be 15 minutes Keegan! 

It will be a fun and chaotic weekend with all of them here for Thanksgiving and I am so looking forward to it! Then I'll go to NC for Christmas where we can all be together too. What bounty! We have never all been together with their wives and children for a major holiday, so I am extremely grateful. 

I hope each of you will have a joyous and special time of giving thanks with those you love and hold dear over the next few days as we celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. We Americans have such abundance and always have much to be thankful for each and every day. May we look for the good in each day and in each person and be grateful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Colossians 3:15 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, 

since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

The Leg

Mike became so calm last Tuesday evening when I rolled him outside. He sat and studied his leg the entire time. That left leg is usually in constant motion and often has scrapes and skin tears on it. After my last blog, a friend sent me a link to Limbkeepers and I ordered a pair of leg sleeves. Will take them this week and see if it helps to protect that battered leg.

I made an unexpected trip to see him because he had been moved to the long-term hall the day before and I wanted to check on him. He was doing much the same as always and has great nurses and CNAs on that hall. The reason for the move was that his roommate, dear Mr. B. had died on the previous Saturday. I was sorry to learn of this on Monday morning and miss him, yet am glad for him that he now breathes easily and walks with Jesus. When I saw him the Wednesday before his passing, he was struggling so to breathe and sounded bad. I brought him ice cream and banana bread, 2 of his favorites. He said he couldn't eat much, but he was sure going to try to eat the ice cream and he did, but I don't think it stayed.  It was really different to go there and not see Mr. B whom I had come to love.

Mike and Mr. B were on the short-term hall or rehab wing. Mike was moved there because Mr. B didn't want to move when he was done with rehab and became long-term, so they asked me if I minded Mike being moved there. It was a good move at the time and I was thankful for all that Mr. B did in looking out for Mike. Mike is now in a room with Mr. P. whose wife comes every day. They are from India and don't speak a lot of English, but are kind and the Mrs. often takes the Mr. outside also, so we've seen a lot of each other when I'm there.

The good part of Mike's move is I know almost all of the nurses and CNAs on that hall and they seem more permanent. He's been receiving good care, but I do happen to think these are some of the best at the facility and continuity is so helpful. Somehow I think he'll get better care on this side.

Tomorrow is Mike's 63rd birthday. I plan to go for a short visit while a friend of Mom's comes to visit her. According to the nurse, the medication has gotten into his system and he is doing better at night, plus one of the CNAs told me they have not had any problems with him since he came to their side. I'm so thankful for this reprieve from agitation and stress however long or short it may be. Thank you so much for your prayers for Mike and for me.

Crying Heart

My heart is crying today. Have you ever had one of those days that nothing in particular happened, yet a pile up of emotions suddenly surfaces without warning and comes crashing out uncontrollably? Yes? No? Well, I have and today is one of them. It started after giving a prayer request for Mike in church and then a hymn about hopes and dreams and my emotions were spilling out of my eyes and sobs coming from the depths of my heart.

Mike has had a couple of rough weeks. I never know what to expect when I get a call at any time of the day or night. It's not an emergency, but...Mike fell out of the wheelchair.  Mike has a skin tear on his left leg. Mike won't stay in the bed. Mike is extremely agitated and we're having to keep him at the nurses station. Mike has a skin tear on his hand. Mike fell out of bed. Mike might have bruises on his arm because we had to hold him down to get blood-work to check for infection. Mike might have a UTI. Mike threw up.

He almost always has skin tears on his left shin. That's the leg that he keeps in almost constant motion. One day, as I came down the hall, he had a hardback book scraping it along his shin, he hits it on the wheelchair or a table and who knows what else. They try to bandage it, but he pulls the bandages off. We're going to try support hose type socks which hopefully he won't be able to remove.

This week I requested to speak with the psych PA and asked her if there was anything we can try to calm him. Instead of something new she wanted to try going back up on the Seroquel, but it seems to have back-fired or isn't in his system yet. I received a call last night that Mike was more agitated and almost fell out of the wheelchair, but since he was seated at the nurses station, they were able to prevent the fall.

Wednesday was unusually interesting. Our friend, Kristin, from NC drove up for a visit, meeting me at the facility. I was feeding Mike out on the covered deck when she arrived. It was quite hot, so after he finished we went inside and tried to walk with him in the cool. As we came down the hall, another resident was in the hall with his rollator on which he had a radio. For some reason, Mike wanted to ram his walker into this resident. Kristin and I were able to maneuver him away and head in the other direction. Then one of the staff started talking with Mike and he rammed into her and started following her. She laughed and told him to come get her and he sure tried! Whichever way she went, Mike followed and if she stopped, he ran into her. He was picking up speed as he went too. I told her she had aroused the competitive nature in Mike. She continued with us until we were back at his chair. 

We thought we would get him to sit down, but now he rammed into the chair, so I figured - can't hurt! I asked Kristin to steer the wheelchair while I held on to Mike and we sailed around the halls and nurses station with Mike intent on shoving that chair as hard as he could. When we would make a U turn, he would speed up and almost lose his balance trying to keep up with the chair. It was strange, but he was determined so we went around at least 2 times, maybe 3. The painters and nurses were getting a real kick out of watching us. One painter said he was going to start timing us. Crazy! By the time we got Mike in his chair to sit, he was breathing heavily.

A fairly new CNA had stopped me one day several weeks ago and asked me how I got Mike to walk with me. I told her and this past week she came to his room and excitedly told me that Mike had walked with her and the PT assistant for probably 20 minutes one day. I was so happy to hear that and so thankful for her willingness to try. She promised that she will continue to try to walk with him whenever she has the opportunity. I am quite grateful.

One of my other stressors this week has been the Creamery bookkeeping. The point-of-sale and accounting software were not communicating properly and trying to figure out the issue with software support was frustrating. It's still not completely straight, so I will do battle with that again tomorrow. Technology: time-saving when it works and time-consuming when it doesn't. One thing for certain is that every time I have a problem I sure do learn more. 

I have struggled this week with anxiety, depression, stress, and an overall tiredness of this never-ending journey. I know God sees, cares, has a plan, I know it. I know I am so blessed with family, friends, and many comforts and ease, I know it. I read about the persecuted Christians and martyrs and all that they have or are enduring and feel ashamed at my wimpiness. They have stood the tests, endured the torture, watched as loved ones were beaten or killed and yet stayed strong. They are my encouragement, my heroes, my real-life examples to never give up or give in to the emotions and feelings that would bury me. Compared to them my life is so easy.

Then, of course, the greatest example of all is our Lord Jesus Christ, who willingly came knowing the pain and suffering He must bear on our behalf. He did it all for the love of His Father and for us. What great love. Because of His great love, I can let the tears and emotions come, but not be overcome to the point of despair and no hope. He is with Mike, He is with me and He is with you, if you only believe. 

So, while my heart is crying, I will draw my strength from Christ and those who have been such a great cloud of witnesses for me. 

Hebrews 12:1-3

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 

For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, 

and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, 

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Family Gatherings

I don't know why, but I'm not that fond of the word "reunion". Maybe it conjures up scenes from movies where relatives are dreading the annual family reunion and having to listen to Uncle George's stories or enduring Great Aunt Agatha's tales of when she was young or, worse yet, someone telling embarrassing stories about them. I prefer to say I'm looking forward to the Family Gathering. To me it feels warmer somehow and I had the distinct pleasure of not one, but two Family Gatherings in July.

The first was the gathering of the Rice family. I always look forward to our gatherings as we spend a lot of time talking and playing card or board games. I genuinely enjoy and love my in-law family which is a huge blessing from God! It's the first time we have all been together in over 7 years and, of course, 7 years ago Mike and I didn't have 2 daughters-in-law and 5 grandchildren; however with our boys we did usually get with his family at Christmas. With one son and his family in Arizona, and Mike incapacitated, it has not been easy to get us all in one place, but on July 17 we all converged at an AirBnB for 3 nights not too far from Mike. It was wonderful and I was one happy Mom/Grammy! 

Our little hiking troopers.

We enjoyed lots of talking, laughter, board and card games, swimming, hiking, eating and I was able to get to know my Arizona grands much better than via the internet. (I'm thankful for that, but it is not the same as in person!) It was HOT and HUMID, but thanks to a pool and Richlands Creamery ice cream we made out fine. I brought along 10 different quarts so that the Ohio and Texas branches of the Rice family could give it a try. We had no trouble finishing it all before our time together was done. Caleb and nephew, Vincent, did most of the cooking/grilling which was a hot job for them, but they did a superb job and all the food was delicious.

Mike and I surrounded by his Mom, our children and grands!

Thursday morning we picked up Mike and took him to a nearby park. Thanks to Mark and Rogelio, we were able to get him into and out of the van. Mr. Omm was present the entire time, and he showed no signs of recognizing the rest of his family. After eating some ice cream and everyone having a chance to speak with him, we returned to the facility and let him walk the halls, fed him lunch, and then he was tired.  Mark and Jenney returned to see him the next day and they said he was sitting at the nurse's station and Mr. Omm was not around.

Can you believe she's 90?

On Saturday, July 20, while the rest of the Rice family headed to their respective states and homes, Caleb, Keegan, their families and I headed to Wilsons, VA to the next family gathering. This time it was on my Mom's side - the Hawkes/Dews family. I enjoyed visiting with aunts, uncles, and cousins - a few of which I had not seen in years, plus I met some of their grandchildren.  We also included celebrating Mom's 90th birthday which was on July 13. Praise God she is doing quite well.

Since I rarely get to see all of my grandchildren, I really spent most of my time with them, plus we stayed at a neighboring farm which was a true blessing. After so much travel, so many people and so much heat, it was nice to have a place of cool and quiet to escape to before we all had a melt down! LOL! The evenings gave me a chance to spend time with my adult children and we enjoyed playing games way too late!

It was so hot outside that it wasn't great weather to do much, but I was able to take my little ones for a ride on my golf-cart and we walked around the calf barns, plus of course we visited the Creamery.

"Hello cows!"

Ice cream!!!

So happy to have all my little ones and big ones in
church with me, along with my Mom, siblings and
their families, cousins, aunts, and uncles. 

A week goes by way too fast, but I thoroughly enjoyed every minute with all of my family and cherish the memories we made together. My heart is full and overflowing. God has blessed me beyond measure.

I love my growing family!

Psalm 127:3-5a

Children are a heritage from the Lord,

    offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

    are children born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man

    whose quiver is full of them.

It Tastes Like Gold

My visit with Mike 2 weeks ago started out much like all our other visits - he was sitting in the hall omming. The highlight for me was sharing some of our Richlands Dairy and Creamery ice cream with Mike, Mr. B. and the staff, plus a couple residents. Mike sat in his chair as people came in and out of his room to get samples of ice cream. It was definitely a hit. I started talking with the daughter of a woman across the hall who was having a rough day. Her Mom's hearing aid had been lost and no one could find it. I offered her some ice cream for which she was thankful. In a few minutes, she returned to get a cup for her Mom and said it had made their day. 😊🍨

Once the ice cream was all gone, we went for our usual walk. The difference that day was that Mike sprung up out of the chair instead of two of us straining to get him to stand. Then once we were out on the deck, he would spring up out of the chair and move to another chair and sit and then hop up and do it again. He hasn't done this in over a year.

The CNA brought his lunch out to the deck. He is still on pureed foods for the most part and although the speech therapist said he worked hard he is not progressing well enough to move back to a completely soft diet or solid food. While eating, I asked him if the food tasted good and he said no. He has not spoken a word to me in several weeks, so it was good to hear him speak. When he was finished I asked him if he was full and again he said no. So I said,  "Let's go to the kitchen and ask if you can have something else." The kitchen staff is really great and knows all the patients personally and what they can and can't have. I was not hesitant at all to ask them for more food, because I know they care about Mike and want to do what they can for him.

When I asked if he could have more food, the woman asked what would he like. "He would probably love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I don't know if he's allowed to have that." She said "Well, I would have to slurry it, but we can try it." I had no idea what she meant by "slurry it". I had visions of a peanut butter sandwich being twirled around in a blender and it was not very appealing. After a few minutes, she came out to the table with an intact peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a clear thick liquid poured over top to soften it. I asked for thickened milk for him to drink with it and she brought that too. I cut it into small pieces and fed it to Mike and he really seemed to enjoy it. At one point, I paused and thought he was trying to say something or was still chewing when he blurted out  "I want another piece!"

I was so glad he was enjoying it and asked him what flavor of jelly it was. He didn't say anything at first so I gave options strawberry, grape, .... and then he said "it tastes like gold". I wasn't sure if he meant that it tasted so good to him it was like gold or if he wasn't able to find the right word, but he look delighted with his slurried peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk and he was talking to me! Halfway through he said it tasted like chocolate, so I think he was trying to find the right word, but at any rate he ate the whole thing and drank all of his milk.

Staff and some of the other residents are always so happy to see him up and walking. One night, the previous week, I received a call that he was extremely agitated and hitting and kicking and jumping up out of his chair. The nurse tried to walk with him but he would not walk with her. I don't know why, but it seems he will only walk with me or I'm more persistent in making him get up and move. Even though I'm pretty sure he understands most of what we say, the reasoning and the ability to understand that if he walked more he would do better, is not there.

After eating the sandwich, I asked him to walk back to his room and brush his teeth. I was surprised when we got back to his room and I got him to the sink, that he stood right there at the sink, put his hands under the water, and swished out his mouth. I gave him the toothbrush and he brushed his own teeth - also the first in over a year.

That day as we had walked around the halls, several people asked me, "Who is Wendy?" I have no idea. They said one day in the dining room he just kept asking for Wendy. I told them maybe she was a former girlfriend. LOL! 😄Mr. Bentley told me that one night Mike started laughing and said right out loud "that was funny!"

This past week after I related some of the above to our Bible Study group, someone made the comment that the above day probably gave me a lot of hope. I responded "You know, maybe it should, but it's been over 7 years of good days and bad days, so I don't see a day like that as if he were getting better, it's just a good day." I'm thankful for the good days and times when he talks to me or seems to enjoy a certain food or activity, but it's just that. There is no progressive "getting better".

Thursday when I saw him he never spoke a word to me; he ommed the entire time. We walked up and down the halls, but only after 2 attempts to get him to stand and once standing, I had to stand behind him and lean into him so that he would not sit back down. Once he was going, we walked for 30 minutes or so. We couldn't go outside since it was pouring rain. I went through his clothes, threw out some old/worn things and put in some new things that fit him better. That was it. Not a bad day, but not a great one either. Then after I was back home, I received a call that Mike had popped up out of his chair and fallen. He wasn't hurt, thank God.

This coming week I look forward to all of us Rices being together for the first time since the Christmas before Mike's accident. We will all converge near Appomattox for a few days to be together and see Mike. We will not bring Mike to stay with us, but will visit him. We found out a couple of years ago that it is too overwhelming for Mike when we add him to lots of people talking, laughing, playing games, etc. As much as I would like to have him with us, it becomes stressful for all of us. I'm always wanting to try things, but am thankful for my family that is more realistic and protects me and Mike from my good intentions. It is better to keep him in his routine and a few people at a time go see him. We may try one group visit at a park close to the facility. Please keep us in your prayers in regards to our visits and for travelling mercies. I pray that it will be a blessed family time together. Our oldest son, Caleb and his family will be flying in from Arizona, our youngest, Keegan and his family will be driving from North Carolina. Mike's sister and family will fly in from Texas, and his brother's family will drive in from Ohio along with Mom Rice. Exciting!!

Then next Saturday my children (including spouses) and grands will head back with me to the farm for my Mom's 90th birthday celebration with a reunion of family members on her side of the family.

Yesterday we had a mini celebration lunch on her actual 90th with close friends and family who live right here. Next weekend everyone that can will be here. Another fun event to look forward to!!   

Y'all Come!

The Creamery continues to do well for which we are most grateful. The ice cream is delicious and you won't find better chocolate milk anywhere! I'm still learning my job as bookkeeper and there are a few kinks to work out with that and at the Creamery, but we are enjoying seeing the lines of people. It is so great to see folks

talking, kids playing, and smiles on faces. 

Psalm 13:6

"I will sing to the Lord,

for He has been good to me."

Beautiful Smile

Two weeks ago when I visited Mike, he was much the same and didn't speak to me at all. I fed him his pureed food and we took a walk. He was a little more cooperative than usual when I tried to brush his teeth and shave him though. With his fairly new haircut, he looked really good and so before I left I asked him if I could take his picture. I pointed my phone camera at him, requested a smile, and was pleasantly surprised to get a wonderful smile. A better smile than I've seen in a very long time. I was feeling quite down on the drive to Appomattox that day and so had shot a request-for-prayer text to the Tuesday Bible Study ladies. Thank you, beautiful women of God for praying and I thank and praise God for the answer to prayers, for I was greatly uplifted by Mike's beautiful smile. 

He was beginning to make some progress toward a soft diet when last week his behavior changed and they found that he had a UTI. He was immediately put on antibiotics and is doing better. I saw the ST on Friday and she said this illness set him back, but she has extended his therapy and is hopeful that he'll be able to return to soft foods or even solid foods in the near future. 

After receiving all of the necessary permits and licenses, praise God we were able to open the doors of the Richlands Creamery this past week! Mr. B has been asking how it was coming along and when I would bring him some ice cream, so Friday I took a quart of chocolate with me. Mr. B was sound asleep when I arrived, so I scooped some out for Mike and fed it to him first. Due to his reaction, I think it must have given him a brain freeze. I never saw him move it around in his mouth or let it sit for bit; the spoon went in his mouth and the ice cream went straight down his throat. After I realized this, I gave him smaller mouth fulls, but it didn't matter and after a few spoonfuls he grabbed the spoon and pushed it away. He wasn't able to handle it properly and it must have been causing him pain. So sad, because he really liked ice cream in the past and this is very good ice cream. I think I'll try a milkshake next time, maybe the intake will be slower.

Mr. B, on the other hand, enjoyed the ice cream very much and ate all that I gave him. When Mike and I were sitting on the deck, I started talking with two other women out there and divided the rest of the ice cream between them. One is a resident there and asked if she could put in an order for me to bring ice cream to her when I come every week. 😋

The Creamery has been long anticipated by family, friends, and the community and the first days have seen almost overwhelming crowds come through the doors. We are grateful for the business and to see money coming in after so many months of it only going out. I am the bookkeeper and at times am overwhelmed with my lack of knowledge of what I'm doing, but little by little I am learning and doing the best I can and have enjoyed the challenge for the most part. I've recently become more comfortable with the bills, payroll and grant reimbursement requests, but now I have new things to figure out with income, syncing software, and eventually wholesale invoices, etc. It's keeping me busy.

I've also watched videos on how to use the Square point of sale register, how to scoop ice cream, and how to make waffle cones and then helped train employees on those, plus worked several hours once we opened. Having something new to learn and working alongside others has energized me and been fun. I was able to do more of this these past 10 days thanks to my sister, Carol, being here with Mom. 

It is exciting to see my niece's dream come true and with such a bang at the start. I do see where it can become all-consuming and pray for wisdom for her in the day to day operation of this business while balancing her family life and health. The same goes for the rest of the family members that are totally invested in this venture while keeping the dairy farm completely running as well. To read more about my farming family, you can read my post titled "Sudden Disaster" at: https://lookingforbrightspots.blogspot.com/  You can also visit www.richlandscreamery.com to learn more about the creamery.

The Creamery has consumed a lot of my time recently and especially this week also, and I realized that while I want to help, I must remember what God has called me to and not lose sight of my priorities. A couple of things came to mind this week that made me excited to write, but I didn't take the time to do so. I haven't worked on my book in several weeks, because there's also the flower gardens that need attention. I wanted to visit people in the nursing home, but I didn't have time as I zipped through town. Although I have spent time in God's word every morning, I have gotten away from looking into it deeply or studying it. Plus, even though I mostly live with my Mom, I need to be more intentional about doing things with her or getting her out to visit. Days fly by and there's always more to do. 

I determined that today I would not dwell on the Creamery bookkeeping or store and I wouldn't go pull weeds. I would read and write and try to get back on track with what God has for me to do. This morning, after my time with the Lord, I had the thought to go visit at the nursing home before church. What a blessing. I was late to church, but believe one I visited was in much need this morning to have someone listen and give a hug. I didn't rush.

God calls each of us to different paths, but it is easy to get side-tracked. Even if it is a good track, if it isn't the one God has marked for us, it can overwhelm us and leave us worn, weary, and wondering where the time went. My desire is to stay on the track God has set for me. Putting Him first, caring for my husband, Mom & others, and sharing through writing. He's also given me flower gardening as my therapy, release of tension, and as a value added beauty to the farm tours. 😊

Hebrews 10:36

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Hebrews 13:20-21

"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

Lord, help me to persevere in Your will for me, trusting that you will equip me with what I need and that you will work in me what is pleasing to You.