Today is Mike's birthday. Today Mike turned 64. Today I visited Mike through the door and he barely looked up. I took him a milkshake, but he wasn't awake enough to even try it. It was a sad sort of birthday.
Thankfully, my friend Nancy went with me which helped to keep the blues away. We drove 75 minutes, handed off his card, new socks, and milkshake, looked at him through the door for a few minutes, spoke with the nurse practitioner (or is she a PA?) and left. Mike was very quiet today so they are keeping an eye on him. That was it. There's not much to say.
Yet, a sweet moment occurred when a precious woman rolled down the hall in her wheelchair, rolled right beside Mike and gently asked "Aren't you going to wake up? Look." We exchanged glances through the door, she tried a couple more times, and I mouthed "Thank you. It's OK." Nancy and I waved and smiled at her and turned to leave. That little exchange made the entire visit better. The kindness of a stranger trying to help us have a little connection with a door in-between us.
On my other blog www.reflectionsbythepond.com I am sharing thoughts from Philippians 4. Currently I am working on one about rejoicing always. Today I didn't feel much like rejoicing and I don't think Paul meant that I should rejoice that my husband is confined to a wheelchair and can't talk to me, but that there is always a reason for a Christian to rejoice in the Lord. It's a conscience decision, a shift in focus. I can rejoice because I know that God has a purpose for this and I know I can trust Him, I can rejoice that I am a child of God, I can rejoice that Mike's and my names are written in the Book of Life, I can rejoice knowing that this life is temporary, I can rejoice that God provided my friend, Nancy, to be with me today and ease the sadness, I can rejoice that Mike is so well taken care of, I can rejoice and remember how God made a way to get Mike into that facility. In the midst of rejoicing and giving thanks, it moves my focus from the sad to the blessings and, in that shift, the heaviness and sadness fall away and are replaced with gratitude and joy. It is not a giddy joy, it is a deep inner joy and peace. A lingering ache remains, because I am human and it does hurt, but it is not debilitating.
Oh, sweet sister, how my heart aches for Mike, and for you as you so faithfully honor your vows to stick by him "in sickness and in health". I can only continue to pray for Mike's healing, and to give thanks that God holds you securely in His loving arms and gives you strength for each new day and challenge.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Carol
Thank you, Carol. I appreciate your loving thoughts and prayers. I love you!
DeleteThank you for sharing your heart and struggles once more. May the Lord continue to give that deep joy and peace.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs,
Dujuana
Thank you, Dujuana. Each day is by the grace and strength of the Lord which I know is answers to prayers of many who continue to remember us. Much love to you and your family.
DeleteJennifer I am praying for you and Mike. I had no idea he is confined to a wheelchair. I have not seen your posts in a very long time. I will try to keep up with yoi better
ReplyDeleteTeresa
Thanks Teresa. I guess the confinement to the wheelchair started about a year ago. Between his instability and my bad back, I could not walk with him anymore and he would NOT walk with anyone else. Keegan tried maybe last Thanksgiving when they stopped to see him and he really struggled to help him. That was the last time we tried. He does stand for them when they give him a shower, but it takes 2 people to keep him stable. Much Love to you and yours.
DeleteSo sorry to hear this. Tell Keegan and Caleb I
DeleteGOD bless said hello. Not sure if you know but Roy is in UNC-CHAPEL HILL right now. GOD bless
No, I didn't know. Sending love and prayers. I often think of Roy because he always finished the verse that Mike would greet with: Mike- "Be strong in the Lord!" Roy - "and the power of His might!" :-) Good memories.
DeleteLove you Jennifer and praying that God's peace will be with you always. Your words inspire me and embody the spiritual maturity I strive for . . . and fall so short of.
ReplyDeleteAmy in CA
Hi Amy, So good to hear from you. We all fall short, that's the beauty of God's grace. May you keep striving and seeking Him, He never disappoints when we seek His will above our own. I love you.
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