Stand Still!

“Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.”

Exodus 14:13

Stand Still! This is the word of the Lord to me today.  I’ve come to the realization that often I am too much of a doer and am not very good at being still.  Also, if things don’t seem to be progressing the way I think they should, I tend to look for alternatives or other solutions when I just need to be still and wait patiently for the Lord to act.

I went up to see Mike on Sunday and Monday.  He was sitting in his room, rocking back & forth, and watching TV.  At first he didn’t seem to know who I was, but I crouched down beside him, took his hand in mine and said “Hi, Mike, it’s Jennifer.”  He turned to me, tightened his hand on mine and tears started to fall – his and mine.  It seemed for a few brief moments that he was “there” and knew that we were in a very sad situation. Then he got up and told me he needed running shoes. We started looking for his and couldn’t locate them. He became fixated on the need to go shopping for a new pair, so for the next hour as we walked, talked, etc. that was almost his entire focus.  For the first time, I talked with him about Keegan and Amy being married and showed him wedding pictures. He took it all in stride, showing no signs of being upset about the news. I was very thankful. I also asked Mike if he was being treated well and he said yes. I commented that he seemed content and he said he was.

One of the LSTs (Life Skills Trainer), Laney, went with us to Cookout where Mike ate very well and not too fast.  He wanted to ride with her there and then rode back with me.  As we were driving, I said “I really like Laney.”  Mike said: “Yeah, he’s a nice guy.”  Me: “Um, Laney is a girl. She just has really short hair.” Mike: “Are you sure?”  Me: “Yes.”  Well, when we got back to NR, my cousin, Todd, came to visit. I was introducing Todd to Laney and Mike adds “She’s a girl.”  Then every time Mike said Laney’s name, he added “a girl”.  Too funny!  Those LSTs have to laugh off a lot of stuff and deal with even more.

We took another walk with Todd and although Mike didn’t do a lot of talking, I believe he was following the conversation as he was smiling at appropriate times. He seemed to enjoy listening and I think it does work really well having 2 people who can talk together, because it is very difficult to carry on a conversation with Mike.  It also helped having 2 family members, because we talked about people that Mike knows.  Afterwards, I helped Mike shave and we lost part of his razor down the sink. Todd to the rescue!  He took off the trap and retrieved the part.  I asked Mike where the other attachments were and he said he threw them away because he didn’t know how they worked.  I tried to encourage him to ask for help instead of just tossing items, plus encouraged him to try to shave every day, which would make the task easier. Todd and I prepared to leave, so I told Mike I would be back at 9:00 on Monday and kissed him goodbye. He was not bothered that we were leaving.

I followed Todd to his girlfriend’s house and stayed with her Sunday and Monday nights.  She is a wonderful lady, great cook, and lives only a few miles from NR which makes it very convenient for me. Silvia had prepared risotto and shrimp and it was delicious. She gave me a key to her house and sometime during the day on Monday, I misplaced it. Panic! The LST, Katie, Mike and I had been several places on Monday, so I frantically ran around to everywhere we’d been and still no key. I felt so irresponsible, was praying like crazy, and got up my nerve to call Silvia. (Did I mention she is wonderful?) She just told me to come to her work and she’d give me another key. After getting the 2^nd key, I drove to her house, took out my bag, and decided to look under the passenger seat, there was the key!  Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! I have no idea how it ended up there, but was so very glad to find it! Thanks for the prompting, Lord!

On Monday morning, I met with the case manager, recreational therapist (he makes the daily schedules for the participants) and the nurse.  I had several concerns, questions, etc., so we went through all of those and they filled me in on therapies, daily happenings, etc. Monday was not a very good day for Mike.  He was not as clear-minded as he had been on Sunday afternoon. He was playing Monopoly when I got there, but immediately got up when he saw me. He wanted to go buy new shoes. Thankfully, the staff found his shoes in the laundry. We did take him for a haircut, but he had some trouble sitting still and was concerned that all of his hair was going to be cut off. At first he wanted all of it cut off. We tried to take him out for lunch, but he became very agitated and started to be aggressive so we returned to NR. Once there, it was like a 3 ring circus.  Two other participants were not doing well, so we took Mike to his room, but could not get him distracted, he would only grab, push, etc. We finally got him to sit down to eat and once he ate some, he started to calm down. We played Sequence after lunch and then shot some basketball, and walked a bit. Then he went to rest, and that’s when I discovered I had lost the key, so had everyone looking for it. After Mike’s nap, he was in the perseverating and pacing mode, and we could not get him to go to PT. 

So basically, he’s exhibiting the same pattern – a few days or a couple of weeks of being fairly lucid, and then right back to not well. The psychiatrist has reduced the Zyprexa and upped the Neurontin. He would like to get Mike off of the Zyprexa, if possible, but needs to go slowly.  I know this, but realize our time there is limited, so became anxious that things need to move more rapidly. I have voiced some concerns to Lisa, the case manager, and we’ve been writing e-mails back and forth. Mike is just not having long periods of lucidity, so it is very difficult to do much with him at this point.

I know that the above scripture and the devotional that went with it, is the Lord’s word to me right now and I have had a tremendous peace today that I was not having Monday and Tuesday. I have to stay in God’s word to make it through all of this. I’m also starting to see a counselor beginning tomorrow and then going on an individual quiet retreat the first week of August.  I am also going to try to get caught up on medical, dental, and vision appointments that I have neglected. (Tomorrow will be 15 months since Mike’s accident.) It has been a joy to be able to just work in the garden and yard when I am home. The weeds and grass grow faster than we can keep up with, but it’s good job security and helps me sleep well at night. Harvesting squash, corn, cucumbers, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, blackberries, etc. is so satisfying. We’ve even made sweet and bread & butter pickles. It feels so good to be productive. (See? There’s the doer in me!)

Last week, I went out and had some fun. Hugh and Tracey had 2 IFYE (International Farm Youth Exchange) students staying with them for 3 weeks. Florian from Austria, and Tytti from Finland.  On Monday a week ago, I took them to Virginia Beach, and then Tuesday we spent the day at Water Country USA.  Thanks, Wendell & Lynn, for the great D, B&B!  Then on Thursday, TR, Coley, Tytti, Florian, and I all went to Kings Dominion and rode almost all of the roller coasters. I sat out of a couple of the really jerky ones, but I did ride The Drop!  What a scream! Literally.  It was quite a thrill.  It was a very hot day and not very many people which made for short lines and lots of rides.  Was really fun.  I did think of Mike a lot. He always loved amusement parks and being with others.

Sorry this is so long. I started to write a blog a couple of times lately, but just couldn’t seem to find the words. I’ll leave you with a portion of the devotional I mentioned earlier. It is, once again, from the Spurgeon Morning and Evening devotional book.

“Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.”

Exodus 14:13

“These words contain God’s command to the believer when he is reduced to great straits and brought into extraordinary difficulties. He cannot retreat; he cannot go forward; he is shut up on the right hand and on the left; what is he now to do? The Master’s word to him is, ‘Stand Still.’ It will be well for him if at such times he listens only to his Master’s word, for other and evil advisers come with their suggestions. Despair whispers, ‘Lie down and die; give it all up.’ But God would have us put on a cheerful courage, and even in our worst times, rejoice in His love and faithfulness. Cowardice says, ‘Retreat; go back to the worldling’s way of action; you cannot play the Christian’s part, it is too difficult. Relinquish your principles.’ But, however much Satan may urge this course upon you, you cannot follow it if you are a child of God……….What , if for a while thou art called to stand still, yet this is but to renew thy strength for some greater advance in due time. Precipitancy cries, ‘Do something. Stir yourself; to stand still and wait, is sheer idleness.’ We must be doing something at once—we must do it so we think—instead of looking to the Lord, who will not only do something but will do everything.”

When I looked up this verse in different translations, some say “stand still” others “stand firm”. The first part of the verse is “But Moses said to the people, ‘Don’t be afraid.’ God tells us that a lot. I need to hear it a lot.  I also like the next verse #14. “The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet.” I need to hear that too. It's great to work, but being quiet before the Lord daily is of utmost importance too. So, I will work on being quiet, standing firm & still, and watching the Lord fight for us. 

“Don’t be afraid.” 

"Stand Still."

Write to Mike

I am sure Mike would really appreciate hearing from friends, family, and new friends who have been so faithful to pray for us and follow our adventure.  His address is:

Mike Rice

1510 Seneca Drive

Blacksburg, VA 24060

He can also have visitors and in an effort to make sure he doesn't get too many at any given time, here is a link to a Google docs spreadsheet for scheduling visits. 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AnmQxOyNMwyPdDVsTXZpNjFuYkltNHR0SUUyVnJoUkE&usp=sharing

This way I can check with the staff to see if it's an OK time to visit and let them know to expect someone. If he's having a good day, he can be taken out to eat, walk, shop, etc. A staff member will go along also, just in case there are any problems. I know that visitors cannot ride with the NR staff and Mike, but am not sure if NR staff & Mike can ride with the visitors. This is all new territory, so adjustments may need to be made in when and how people visit. I also understand that visiting may be uncomfortable for many, but even if Mike doesn't recognize you, at least he knows people care and have not forgotten him. It is also a real blessing and help to me knowing that others are checking in on him from time to time. I am 3 hours away so cannot visit often, plus believe he needs to get into a routine there and lose some of his attachment to me.

I wish all of the news coming from Blacksburg was as good as our trip there, Mike's first 5 days, and Mark and Lynn's visit; however, he has had some rough days this week.  I am going to copy and paste some of the updates that Lisa, the case manager, has sent to me. 

"I wanted to let you know that we made an appointment for Michael to see Primary Care today due to the amount of mucus he was producing. The primary care doctor believes it is aspiration pneumonia and wants us to put him on liquids nectar thick. He has a modified barium swallow study scheduled for next Tuesday, as well. The primary care doctor also put him on levaquin to treat the aspiration pneumonia."  

I am wondering if some of the medication he was put on at Tucker has slowed his reflexes. He had swallow problems while at WakeMed, but within a couple of months of being home, he was able to drink regular thin liquids. He will see the Psychiatrist this Wednesday, and Lisa said I would like him because he tries to get the residents on the least amount of medication possible.

"His forearm and leg are no longer swollen. The nurse is keeping his eye on them. We have found out that taking Michael for a ride seems to help when he gets really restless and perseverative. They say he gets really quiet and sometimes falls asleep in the car. We noticed that, after a brief nap, he sometimes has better orientation and attention. He’s had a few bad days this week, unfortunately. It could be a combination of being ill and the new transition. Yesterday, he was a little more aggressive, pushing staff members who would attempt to help redirect when he was perseverative and wandering around. He has been evaluated for both OT and PT. I was with him for his OT evaluation. It was a really bad time for him. He was perseverating on an activity that he was doing earlier (color by number) and he kept repeating “6 is Black, 7 is light blue,” etc. It was difficult for him to follow directions for her assessment.  He was in a much better place for his PT evaluation (it was after a nap) and was more cooperative. "

So, as you can see, he continues to follow the same pattern of days or moments of clarity and then days or moments of poor cognition. This is brain injury - I have to keep telling myself that. It is so encouraging when he has good days and can be very discouraging when he lapses back to incoherence. However, it seems that he has had longer periods of coherence, and in that there is hope of even longer periods to come. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back - this is brain injury. It is unlike any other injury that I've ever known so is very hard to understand and grasp.

Psalm 25:5

Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me:

 for Thou art the God of my salvation; 

on Thee do I wait all the day. 

"It is our duty and our privilege to wait upon the Lord in service, in worship, in expectancy, in trust all the days of our life. Our faith will be tried faith, and if it be of the true kind, it will bear continued trial without yielding. We shall not grow weary of waiting upon God if we remember how long and how graciously He once waited for us." July 8 devotion from Morning & Evening by Charles H. Spurgeon

Mark & Lynn's visit

 Just received the following from my sister-in-law, Lynn.  Mark and Lynn drove 5.5 hours from Worthington, OH last Sunday to see Mike. They are Mike's brother and sister. Thanks so much, Lynn!  I'll post an update in the next couple of days.

We left early Sunday morning and drove through the beautiful mountains of West Virginia to go see Mike in Blacksburg. We got there at 11:15, and were greeted warmly by Mike just inside the entrance. He was ready to go. We heard quickly how he had walked over 5 miles the day before. He chuckled when we told him everyone would be getting in shape w/ him there. He was very content, cooperative, & caring during our visit.

We got to know Brittany, Mike's LST for the day. She drove Mike and we followed. We headed to Wendy's for lunch and after 2 kid frosty's & nice conversation, off to Duck Pond Drive, a landmark at Virginia Tech. We fed the ducks with our loaf of stale bread, walked & chatted. One thing we noticed is Mike getting all of the jokes & jabs with a smile and laughter. 

Next, was a trip to Big Lots. Had fun getting a calendar Mike wanted, Kleenex, a pillow for his chair, & a blanket. 

Overall, we thought the facility was clean & not like a hospital, more like a home. Mike is the highest functioning in Bldg. 1, there are 2 participants leaving Bldg. 2 in the coming week or so, please join us in praying that Mike can be moved to Bldg. 2 sooner than later. We stayed close to 3 hours and it was Mike who initiated the good-bye. He said how nice it was for us to visit. It is important to note that we did NOT hear Mike say anything like “get me out of here.” It appears He is comfortable there. Mike said a prayer for our travels and families before we left. It was a bittersweet goodbye.

On the back of the book, Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist..”Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken & something beautiful,  that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness.” This appears to me to be a lay version of a verse many are familiar with, but need to be reminded of… Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Overflowing Blessings

Mike did  fantastic the entire day! Thank you so much for your prayers and Praise God again and again and again! He answered abundantly.

Wendell and Lynn arrived on Tuesday night and we all enjoyed a great meal at Hugh and Tracey's to celebrate Tracey's birthday. Wednesday morning, we headed over to Tucker arriving about 9:50am. There wasn't much paperwork to take care of and Mike soon came out ready to GO!  When he came out, I noticed that his left forearm was swollen. I asked the case manager and charge nurse about it and they both seemed surprised to see it.  I hesitated, thinking maybe we should have it x-rayed before we left and Mike said "You can't keep me here!" Picked up his suitcase and headed for the door. So we left.  As we drove down the road, I started looking through the papers that Tucker was sending to NeuroRestorative and there was a report saying that Mike's arm had been x-rayed on the 28th. There were no broken bones, just a bone spur, but no visible reason for the swelling.  As I read further, I came across another report saying Mike had fallen on June 24.  I had never heard a word about any of this. I had been there on the 28th, but Mike would not come out to see me and I had not been back until yesterday.

When we stopped, and I saw Mike walking more and his gait seemed different, plus his left leg was swollen. He was also a bit unsteady. So I called back over to Tucker and was able to speak with a nurse who knew what had happened. She said it wasn't actually a fall. Mike had put his hand on another patient's shoulder and that patient had pushed Mike, causing him to fall on the floor. She said Mike landed on his bottom, but seemed fine afterwards. The attending doctor noticed the swollen arm and ordered x-rays, but they do not think it was related to the fall.  Mike would bang on the nurses' station door, and the nurse thought that was the reason. He has some bruising on his hand which I can understand from the banging, but the arm looks like something internal, there is no bruising. I asked about his left hip, but they had not done an x-ray on that.
I wonder if the swelling could be due to some medication and if he's just sore from the fall so his gait is different. I would think the unsteadiness is due to medication.  I don't know, but pointed out all of this to the case manager, Lisa, and the nurse, Serg, at NR.

On the other hand, cognitively, he did terrific! He asked Lynn and Wendell about their children, let us know when he was cold, getting restless, and was hungry. Once we arrived at NR, he did not want to sit with me while I filled out paperwork, he wanted to have a tour. So one of the staff, also named Mike, took our Mike and showed him, L, & W around, unpacked Mike's stuff, made sure everything was labeled, and returned when I was just finishing up. It was pouring rain several times throughout the day and a couple of times while we were trying to unload and go between buildings.  NR has 2 buildings at this location. It kind of looks like a nursing home but is in a neighborhood of apartments, soccer fields, etc., only 1.5 miles away from the Va. Tech campus. There are common areas in both buildings, some exercise equipment, and a dining area.  Mike has his own room with a half bath, a TV, twin bed, chair, chest of drawers, and closet. The shower room is down the hall a few doors. Mike did very well throughout all of the admission process and was eating when we left. He had told me that I could come visit every Friday. I told him I probably wouldn't come every Friday. "Why not?" Because it's a 3+ hour drive. He didn't seem to see why that was a problem, but did not get upset.

Lisa sent me an e-mail today saying Mike had been up a couple of times during the night, became a little upset today when they didn't have certain foods he wanted, but was doing fairly well.  I just tried to call, but they are going to have him call me back when he finishes eating.

My very supportive cousin, Todd.
Thanks, Todd, for the wonderful meal and accommodations!

After we left last night, L, W & I drove over to Radford. My cousin, Todd, had fixed a great meal, and had his spare rooms ready. Instead of a B&B, it was a D&B! We enjoyed learning more about Todd and seeing his beautifully renovated home.  I remembered today to take pictures of all my wonderful support, but forgot to get a picture with Mike yesterday.  Will do that next time I go.

My wonderful driving companions, Wendell & Lynn
took us all out to breakfast this morning.

 On the way home today, we stopped and took a walking tour of the National D-day Memorial in Bedford. Wendell is a veteran and wanted to stop. I am so glad we did. It was very educational and highly recommended.  Happy Independence Day to you all and thank you to all our service men and women past and present. I am proud to be an American!

Taking Mike Wednesday

Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!!

Tomorrow is the big day to take Mike to Blacksburg.  Everything wasn't done in time to take him today, but that's OK. When the call came today, it was a relief and joy. The cost per day is such that he should be able to stay with Neuro Restorative for 5-6 months! When I was praying this morning, the figure $400 was strong so I prayed that the daily fee would be $400 or less and it's $380!  I know this is still a lot, but when compared to other programs like this and what we're being charged at Tucker since insurance stopped, it is fantastic. Plus it gives Mike a longer time of intensive, structured therapy by BI professionals. I am so excited about the Proposed Plan of Care. It is very comprehensive.

My wonderful Uncle and Aunt, Wendell and Lynn, volunteered to go with us, driving all the way from Yorktown today so we can head out in the morning. Mike is very anxious and excited too. He called me three times this morning, telling me what to bring, when to come, and making sure that I didn't come before breakfast. When I called him this afternoon to let him know we were all set for tomorrow and what time we would come, the nurse went to get him and he said "no".  She just laughed, said a lot of times he's walking around saying my name and wanting to call, and then when I called he was "playing hard to get". Afternoons are not his best time.

I'm looking forward to spending time with him tomorrow outside of the hospital walls and praying he handles the trip and the new location well. Thank you for remembering us in your prayers also.  I'll probably post something on Thursday letting you know how it went. I'm so excited! Thank you, Lord and everyone who has helped make this possible.

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the Lord.

We are dust

A devotional I read this morning, was so good that I want to share it along with some other thoughts along the same lines.

Thoughts

It is so easy to turn our thoughts inward and see all of our shortcomings and failures. It may seem like humility, but often is Satan’s way of pulling us down and turning our focus away from Jesus. Introspection can be very destructive. My sister, Gayle, shared something with me a few weeks ago that was taught during a Sonship Conference. It went something like this:  We often feel we don’t spend enough time with God in prayer or reading His word or doing His will and this lack of devotion gnaws at us, making us feel that we are a disappointment to God. We believe that we never measure up to what He expects of us. The speaker said that "disappointment springs from unfulfilled expectations" and reminded everyone that God knows our frame and that we are but dust. He knows we can do nothing apart from him. He must do all in us. His expectations are not the same as ours. Psalm 103:13 & 14 As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.   Psalm 78:39 He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return. 

We are dust, He has compassion. I think the expectations we have for ourselves are mainly due to what the “Christian world” says we should be doing in order to be accepted by or pleasing to God, plus we often compare ourselves to what others are doing and thus feel inadequate. No works of our own will cause Him to accept us. It is only Jesus’ death and resurrection that makes us acceptable to God. Once we receive Jesus, we are God’s child. Nothing can separate us from Him and we can do nothing good in our own flesh. What’s important is to keep our focus on Him throughout every day and yes, it is very important to spend time in His Word every day in order to know His voice and will. However, to constantly focus on what we aren’t doing or feeling like we don’t ever do enough to please God, is turning our focus onto ourselves and taking our eyes off of the very One whom we so desire to please and follow.  John 15:4 & 5 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

Morning & Evening Devotional

By Charles H. Spurgeon

June 28

“Looking unto Jesus.” – Hebrews 12:2

“It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, “Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of His children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus.” All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: He tells us that we are nothing, but that “Christ is all in all.” Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument—it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by “looking unto Jesus.” Keep thine eye simply on Him; let His death, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, His intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to Him; when thou liest down at night look to Him. Oh! Let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after Him, and He will never fail thee.”

“…we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within.” "We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what JESUS is, NOT what we are, that gives rest to the soul." Oh, how true! All we need comes from “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

The Wedding

I left for NC on Thursday, June 20th. I checked into the hotel, had a nice swim and then met Keegan, Amy, and her immediate family for supper in Cary. Afterwards, Keegan came back to the hotel with me and we sat outside and talked for a couple of hours before he left to pick Caleb up at the airport. He and Caleb enjoyed some one-on-one time Thursday night and stayed with a friend of Keegan's. Friday morning Caleb, Keegan, and I had breakfast at Panera Bread and then hit the stores to get the food items and supplies for the rehearsal dinner that night. It was lots of fun having some time with the two of them before all the festivities began and having help with the rehearsal dinner preparation kept me from getting overly anxious. We actually got a lot done that morning. Breakfast, rehearsal dinner shopping and prep, Caleb got a haircut, we went shopping for some clothes for him and a few other things and still got back to the hotel before family started arriving.

Rehearsal

We enjoyed a swim with everyone that afternoon and then headed to the park for the rehearsal. The weather was really great for June in NC. The humidity was low and it was a beautiful day. The pastor's wife, Barbara, did a fantastic job of getting everyone organized and running through the ceremony a couple times. Then we all enjoyed visiting and eating under the pavilion. Keegan had 2 best men, Caleb & David, and Amy had 2 Maids of Honor, Loren & Jess.  Caleb gave his toast on Friday night along with Loren. Then all the groomsmen took off for the bachelor party which was lazer tag and bumper cars. Sounds like they had a really fun time and completed the evening with the group gathering around Keegan to pray for him. Most of the guys spent the night at the same place, then Caleb and some of the guys fixed a big breakfast on Saturday morning before heading over to set up the Senior Center for the reception.

It rained lightly on Saturday morning, but just as Keegan, the pastor and best men walked out, the clouds gave way to very bright sunshine. We were actually glad when clouds came back over for most of the ceremony. It was a very meaningful, beautiful, simple ceremony in a lovely outdoor setting with lots of family and friends in attendance. Amy was radiant, Keegan beaming. It was hot, but could have been much worse for this time of year. Caleb escorted the 2 grandmothers and me into the wedding and he was to escort us all out also or so I thought. On the day of the wedding there was a surprise - Keegan came back and escorted me out. It was a very unexpected and pleasant surprise.

Amy looked gorgeous in her beautiful gown.

Mr. & Mrs. Keegan Rice!

We enjoyed good food, 2 more toasts to the newly weds, fun, laughter and dancing at the reception. Keegan and I had planned a special dance that was fun and carefree and gave everyone a laugh. Definitely not your traditional mother/son slow dance and I think we needed that break from tradition just now. From the rehearsal dinner to the bachelor party to the reception, there were no alcoholic beverages. It's a great testimony that people can have lots of fun without it. We saw Keegan and Amy off amid a car full of balloons and bubbles floating around in the air. Another great testimony to their wonderful church group is that less than half an hour after K&A left, chairs and tables were folded up, the floor swept and things packed away. I spoke with the parks & recreation man and he said he had never seen a group clean up so quickly and so well. It truly was a wonderful day from start to finish and now I have a wonderful daughter!

Our boys, Keegan & Caleb. Caleb always said
Keegan would probably get married first!

On Sunday, the Rice side of the family (minus K&A, of course) headed to the beach for a couple of days. It was really great to spend time with family just having fun in the waves, kayaking, playing bocce ball, board games and talking. Since Caleb lives in Arizona, I don't get to spend much time with him, so it was especially nice to have lots of time with him. On Sunday night, we did have a family conference to discuss Mike's situation and they were all eager to help me look for resources and facilities that might be of help in his recovery. Of course, throughout the weekend and beach trip, Mike was missed and there was an underlying sadness. It had really hit Keegan hard in the last few weeks that his Dad would not be able to be at his wedding. I had my moments throughout also, but am thankful I was able to enjoy this special event with Keegan, Amy, Caleb and most of the family.

Caleb and I enjoyed an early morning walk
 on the beach just before it rained.

God Makes a Way

The wedding weekend and family time was wonderful, but I will post a separate blog about that along with photos. First an update on Mike and his situation.

On Tuesday, as Caleb and I were driving, I received a call from Tom, the case manager at Tucker. He had found a place called Breezy Hill in the Harrisonburg, VA area and wanted to let me know someone would be calling me.  Doug called within minutes and after he received more information, he said their Blacksburg, VA facility sounded more appropriate for Mike at this time and he would have them contact me.  Wednesday morning I spoke with Sarah and we set up a time for her to come and see Mike on Friday at 10am. Neuro Restorative has been in business for 33 years and has residential homes in several states across America. The Blacksburg, VA location has 2 homes that can house 24 individuals with brain injury. Unlike the Va. Beach facility, they DO have a neuro-psychiatrist as part of their team and so are able to continue to work with Mike’s medication adjustments; otherwise, it is much the same. 24 hour supervision, very structured day, individualized therapy plan, private room and bathroom, OT, ST, PT & RT, as well as, cognitive therapy. After we met, Sarah, said nothing she had seen or heard or read about Mike scared them. They have worked with all of this before.  We are in a rush to get Mike placed, because insurance stopped paying for Mike last Friday. Neuro-Restorative (NR) is going to work on a plan of treatment and the financial part this weekend and hopefully we’ll be able to get Mike transferred to Blacksburg by Tuesday of this coming week.  I will transport him and will be looking for one or two people to ride with me. Will be a long day, have to go to Richmond, then Blacksburg, then home. Local folks, any volunteers?  J

According to the staff at Tucker, Mike has been lucid from about 8am – 12pm every day for about 8 or 9 days, and then begins to transition into the repeating and non-coherent phase. Unfortunately, he is on quite a bit of medication. The doctor tried adjusting one of the meds on Thursday, and instead of increasing the lucid periods, it decreased them. I had a wonderful visit with Mike on the Wednesday before the wedding.  He was calm and going through the phone book looking for landscaping jobs. His supper came while I was there and he ate slowly. I noticed he was losing weight so asked if they could give him more to eat or supplement his diet with Ensure and yogurt (his favorite).  Some days when I call, he won’t even come to the phone and yesterday when I was there, he was in the repeating phase and the nurse couldn’t even get him to come out to the visiting area. So it is still very up and down.

I really thank the Lord for the opportunity to get Mike into a brain injury facility where the staff is trained specifically to work with brain injury survivors, like Mike and will try to help him reach his highest potential. I believe this will give Mike the best possible chance at recovery and me a much needed respite where I am not constantly on the phone, internet, filling out forms, or worrying about how to take care of Mike. It is not a long-term solution due to the cost, but at least this will let us know if further recovery is possible. NR will also help with the transition back home, training me, looking for day programs, and other necessities when the time comes. I really need to learn how to handle the new normal. There is a class, Brain Injury Specialist, that I can take online through the Brain Injury Association of America that I would like to do also, so that I can understand all of this better and how to cope.  I am going to look into that after I have a real respite.

The drive to Blacksburg is about 3 hours from the farm. The good thing is that it is closer to Mike’s family than Virginia Beach would have been and visits are encouraged. Please pray for Mike’s transition to yet another new place and that we will see a marked improvement. I also hope that his medications can be reduced once he is receiving more therapy and instruction on how to handle his new brain and all the emotions and frustrations that come with it.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers, calls, notes and support. The Lord is answering in His time and His way.

His ways are not our ways

Isaiah 30:21

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, 

your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,

"This is the way; walk in it."

The following is quoted from Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard and closely mirrors our path and my thoughts:

     "This path looked so wrong I could hardly believe it was the right one," and she (Much-Afraid) sobbed bitterly. 

     He (The Shepherd) lifted her up, supported her by his arm, and with his own hand wiped the tears from her cheeks, then said in his strong, cheery voice, "There is no question of your turning back, Much-Afraid. No one, not even your own shrinking heart, can pluck you out of my hand. Don't you remember what I told you before? 'This delay is not unto death but for the glory of God.' you haven't forgotten already the lesson you have been learning, have you?

     "It is no less true now that 'what I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter.' My sheep hear my voice, and they follow me. It is perfectly safe for you to go on in this way even though it looks so wrong, and now I give you another promise: Thine ears shall hear a word behind thee saying, 'This is the way, walk ye in it,' when ye turn to the right hand or to the left."

     He paused a moment, and she still leaned against him, speechless with thankfulness and relief at his presence. Then he went on. "Will you bear this too, Much-Afraid? Will you suffer yourself to lose or to be deprived of all that you have gained on this journey to the High Places? Will you go down this path of forgiveness into the Valley of Loss, just because it is the way that I have chosen for you? Will you still trust and still love me?"

   (a few pages later)  ...right down in the depths of her own heart she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised, but for himself. All she wanted was to be allowed to follow him forever.  Other desires might clamor strongly and fiercely nearer the surface of her nature, but she knew now that down in the core of her own being she was so shaped that nothing could fit, fill, or satisfy her heart but he himself. "Nothing else really matters," she said to herself, "only to love him and to do what he tells me. I don't know quite why it should be so, but it is. All the time it is suffering to love and sorrow to love, but it is lovely to love him in spite of this, and if I should cease to do so, I should cease to exist."

No, I did not hear an audible voice from my Shepherd, but paths I thought much more desirable for us have been closed. NRLC in Virginia Beach decided that what they could provide at this time, would not be beneficial to Mike until he is on a more even keel, with more lucid times than non-lucid. They did not want to just be "expensive sitters" and to really get medication adjusted properly could take a very long time, if that is the problem. I appreciate the fact that they realize their specialty is not what we need right now and weren't out just to get another client. They did suggest 2 neuro-psychiatrists in Richmond, that I could seek out after the wedding. One works with them, but they don't know if he is taking new patients, the other one is who we were originally going to see back in March, but is out-of-network with insurance so I had made a switch.  July starts a new year with insurance, so it may be a good time to switch again and go with Dr. O'Shanick or Dr. Ross, if they are accepting new patients.

After I had a good cry, I called to speak with Tom, the case manager at Tucker. I poured out my tale of woe, my fears, concerns, etc.  He assured me that Dr. Sommers was still trying to work with Mike and that they would not throw Mike out onto the street, even if insurance said they wouldn't pay anymore. We would incur the cost, but it would be less than what we would have paid in Va Beach and would only be for a few days, most likely. He has contacted Madison House, an assisted living facility in Richmond, and I have been in contact with Vista Park in Petersburg, as possible temporary placements for Mike while we figure out the next steps. Tom told me "Go to the wedding and don't worry. Mike will be safe and well taken care of here."  More tears and yet relief that Mike won't have to make a change right now, and I don't have to scurry around trying to get him somewhere right here before the wedding.  I've tried to call and speak with him, but he won't come to the phone lately. Visits are just sad, because he usually doesn't even seem to know I'm there. Tom said he was fairly lucid this morning and Dr. Sommers tried to get Mike's input as to what happens when he slips back into the broken record. Said Mike seemed to be aware of the repeating, but could not give any feedback as to why it happens or what he is feeling when it happens. Hopefully the extended stay will reap benefits for Mike in the long-term. 

I may try to contact Madison House and go visit it tomorrow when I go to see Mike. This was definitely not the path we were hoping for, but I am trusting that it is the path God wants us to take. We've done all we could and everything has been bathed in prayer from around the world. Like Much-Afraid, I will continue to love and follow my Shepherd even when, from my limited view, it seems all wrong.  I know that He loves Mike and me. I don't have to understand; just being in His presence is enough.

God's timing is definitely not our timing

Still no resolution of where Mike can go after leaving Tucker.  He does seem to be doing a bit better there, but still up and down.  Dr. Gualtieri is not in the office until tomorrow and I've left messages everywhere I can (I've learned to be a pest - not in my comfort zone, but...) Melissa and Patti from NRLC and I have been texting back and forth all day.  They really want to speak with Dr. G before making a final decision about whether or not they will take Mike. Medication is a big deal and I understand that they want to make sure they can handle this.  Every time I start to get overly anxious and feel like I'm about to have a panic attack, I try to get busy doing something not related to Mike's care and God sends some little flicker of hope, once again.  Another conference call is set up for Tuesday at 2pm with the NRLC staff and in Patti's opinion, "Sounds like it may work out!"  She's been the very optimistic one the entire time, so I'm proceeding with caution, but do feel that this is the direction the Lord is leading in through all the various circumstances. Plus, He just keeps providing that bit of a lift right when I feel like I'm about to go under. My prayers the last few days have mainly been "Please, God. Please God." I've also been praying that Mike's name would go around and around in the staff's head like a broken record and especially in Dr. Sutton's (who is on vacation) thoughts. Please join me!

My friend, Kris, gave me the book "Hinds Feet on High Places". I read it many years ago, but Wow! each time I've picked it up in the last few weeks, the character, Much-Afraid, seems to be saying what I've been feeling, going through what I'm going through, and the Shepherd is always within earshot and comes to her aid to strengthen her whenever she calls.  I'll share some portions with you later. Just another God-incident that I should be given and reading this book at this time. He orchestrates it all. Praise be to God!

I had the unexpected privilege of getting out of town this weekend with my brother, Hugh. We went to Northern Virginia to see my Sister, Gayle, and her husband, Tom. We all, plus my nephew, Paul, enjoyed a night out at Wolftrap and heard Bill Cosby. Sunday we had great fellowship and worship at their church, a delicious meal, and then Gayle and I rested, read and walked while the guys played golf.  It really was helpful to get away and enjoy family and other distractions, as well as, rest.

It's too much, Lord

Tom, the case manager at Tucker, Melissa, the NRLC social worker & her husband, Joe, and I all met at Tucker this afternoon. Joe and Melissa are very caring folks and both are involved with NRLC, I just can't remember their other titles - something like "service providers".  A nurse brought Mike in and he was not doing well. It's just more than my heart can bear. They had tried a new medicine yesterday and today he was drooling, rubbing his legs, and repeating "bring the letters".  The only thing he could do was write his name, but otherwise we were not able to distract him or get him to engage at all. This was clearly a medication-gone-wrong issue, again.

Due to this, no evaluation was able to take place other than the fact that in his current state, he would not be able to benefit from the program at NRLC.  It's way to expensive to have him not able to participate at all.  Melissa and Joe were wracking their brains to come up with some way to help us right now.  When we parted, they promised to talk with their medical director and see what options they could come up with or possible places that might take Mike just to regulate his medication. Obviously, this needs to be done slowly, and at Tucker he has been put on several different medications in the 10 days he's been there.  This is not good. Of course, insurance is pushing to get him out, so the doctor's feel pressure to do something quickly. However, it is backfiring and I feel like Mike is one big guinea pig.  I cannot imagine what he is going through and hate leaving him there, but now know my limitations.

Afterwards, I had to go to the lawyers office regarding Guardianship and then drove over to an area where Mike and I first lived as a married couple. I remembered a funny story. I came home from work one day and Mike had made brownies, my favorite.  He was so proud of himself and couldn't wait for me to taste them.  I was just as eager, but the first bite was sort of gumpy and tasted kind of weird. I took a second bite just to see if I could figure out what it was.  Mike is standing there grinning at me the entire time, munching away on one himself.  I asked, did you put something different in these brownies?  Pleased as a peacock, Mike says Yes! Bananas! Bananas and chocolate go great together, right?  It was too funny, he's always loved bananas, I can take 'em or leave 'em.  I remember we shared with the neighbors, who also thought they were weird, but it has always been a good story and made me smile today after the tough visit.  Keegan has encouraged me to think of past stories of Mike or our family together that make me smile or help me remember him as he was. It helps, because truly, the Mike I knew and loved, has not been with me for over a year and yet he is still here. It's a strange kind of grief. On the way home, I just told God it was too much, and He'd have to do something, because I was out of options and drained, not even knowing what to do now, and feeling so bad for Mike's current situation. It's awful.

Right after I got home tonight, I received a call from Melissa.  On the way back to Virginia Beach, she spoke with Dr. Voogt, the rehab PHD on staff with NRLC and Doug the program director, I think.  They want to try to work with us and help manage Mike's medication, even possibly try to take him off of everything, work with the fallout, and then restart. She said since Mike would probably not be able to participate in the therapies yet, they would reduce the price, while they just take care of him and adjust medication.  She asked that I contact Dr. Gualtieri, in NC to see if he would speak with their medical director in order to give some background on Mike's situation and for me to send them a list of medication and when I think Mike was doing better and what he was on.  I had gathered medication lists a few weeks ago, so will work on getting that faxed to her tomorrow.  God still gives hope.

"When I think I'm going under, part the waters, Lord. 

When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea. 

When I cry for help, O hear me Lord, and hold out Your hand. 

Touch my life, still the raging storm in me." 

A line from one of the Selah's albums "Part the Waters, Lord"

 which moves on into "I Need Thee Every Hour" 

Oh how I need, Jesus, every hour, minute, second, millisecond.

"Oh bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee."

Conference and Evaluation

Everyone please pray.  Am meeting 2 people from Neuro-Rehabilitation Living Center in Virginia Beach at Tucker Pavilion in Richmond this afternoon at 2pm.  They will do a brief evaluation of Mike and determine if they think their program is a good fit for him. So far it sounds good, just had a 45 minute conference call with them and the social worker at TP.  They have not balked at any of the information given so far  -  repeating, pacing, incontinence, walking out, resistance, etc. and really seem to want to work with Mike, have the know-how and programs in place, take into account what he likes and would like to do, etc.  

Mike has remained much the same at TP as he was at home.  Some lucid/clear times and then irrational times.  If all goes well, we are looking at discharge from TP and taking him down to NRLC on Monday.  They sound like a really great group of folks.  A couple of them have been on short-term mission trips also.  Said there is a church just a mile down the road where they take their clients who want to go to church.  They keep them busy throughout the day, go to the gym, physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Consults with neuro-psychiatrist, neurologist. Have a rehab physician on staff, as well as, a social worker, nurse, and more.  I'm excited about this opportunity for Mike and the respite for me!  Then we'll have to pray for the what-comes-after these 2 or 3 months.  (After some respite.)

I really needed these verses this morning, actually have needed them the past couple of weeks.

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. 

The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, 

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all 

understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds, in Christ Jesus.

These lines from the Big Daddy Weave song

"Without You" are so true - I cannot live without You, JESUS!

Chorus: "And the sun doesn't shine, and my world stops spinnin' round, Without You

Tell me where else could I ever find the peace that floods this heart of mine, Without You.

Who could fill the emptiness inside, Who would ease the pain in my broken heart

Who would come in and abide, promise never to depart, Without You

I can't live without You, I don't want to try to, Live one more moment  without You!

God will make a way

Last night I prayed and asked God to PLEASE give me some word or direction on how to proceed for Mike’s care. This morning I received a call that was the answer to that prayer. After days of searching the internet, talking with various facilities, family, friends, Mike’s case manager & health coach, a lawyer, BIAV, nurses, etc.,  it looked like I was just going to have to place Mike in a dementia unit at a residential facility. I was not at peace with this and often waves of stress and grief threaten to engulf me. Now I think we are finally headed in the right direction.  Due to the generosity and encouragement of family, we are pursuing the Neuro Rehabilitation Living Center in Virginia Beach, VA for approximately 3 months.  You can check it out online for more information at nrlcenters.com.  This is a small 12 bed facility that specializes in brain injury rehab. It is much like Tree of Life in Richmond, but seems more personal and flexible. Mike will have to be evaluated prior to their agreeing to take him, so please pray that if this is the direction the Lord wants us to go in, all will go smoothly and quickly. He may be able to be evaluated as early as Wednesday. Representatives from NRLC will go to Tucker to evaluate him.

I speak with a nurse every day to see how Mike is doing. Although he is on more medication, it sounds like he is much the same. Repeating phrases, walking a lot, and hard to distract. I am going to see him today for the first time since he went in a week ago. I have spoken with him once, but it just made him more agitated, because he wanted to come home. Right now I just cannot bring him home, but I am much encouraged with this option. I think if anyone can help Mike, it will be one of these Neuro-specific facilities. We will hope for great improvement, but if it doesn’t happen, at least we’ll know we’ve done the best we can for him.

I appreciate your prayers so much. Mike and I both need them. Blessings to you all. Love, Jennifer

Another Adventure

Did I mention that we never just take trips, Only Adventures?  Well, the adventures continue.  That new direction I spoke about last time, is most likely not the direction we will be taking. At least not right now.  The cost at all three of the brain injury specific facilities I have spoken with is extremely high. After being evaluated, the cost could range from $350 - $950 per DAY and a short term stay would be 2-6 months.  So I continue to look along with the help of others who have volunteered their time and effort.

Sadly, Mike is back at Tucker Pavilion.  We had another ER experience on Saturday after an out-of-control episode in the car. No wreck or anyone hurt, but had to go to the ER in order to get Mike calmed down. I am very thankful for all of the very understanding Police, Sheriff, and EMS workers who came up with creative solutions and made a very tense situation much less traumatic.

Sunday, I had a bit of a melt down, and just knew I couldn't take care of Mike one more day. My niece, Coley, drove us to TP on Monday around 3pm and about midnight, Mike was admitted.  We are working with his Primary Care Physician, the Case Manager at TP, Brain Injury Association of Virginia, searching the internet, and making phone calls. My desire is to get Mike into a facility with a progressive mind-set, not just a maintain mind-set.

The feelings of guilt and should of/could of were incredibly strong Monday night and yesterday. I went and spoke with Mom and Dad's pastor in the afternoon, and that was very therapeutic. Even though I have made mistakes and there is more I could have or should have done, I have tried to take care of Mike and keep him at home, but I'm too worn down to do a good job with him now. I need to let go and give myself some time to rest and recover some sort of normalcy.

Please pray that God will lead us to a facility that will be appropriate for Mike. Please also pray that I can be at peace and give myself some grace. Friday I have an appointment with a lawyer to start the process of getting Guardianship. This is necessary when someone is not competent to speak for themselves. Power of Attorney is not enough in regard to mental health issues. Please, please pray for Mike. When he has his lucid moments, he does not remember any of the rough episodes, so doesn't understand that there is a problem or why he is at Tucker. This is so tough. There is still hope that he will continue to recover and this is only a phase; however, there is also the possibility that he won't get better or may become worse. I am having to come to accept this and know I cannot continue as we have been for the past few months. It is too demoralizing and at this point not good for Mike or me.

This has been especially hard right now, because our youngest son is getting married on June 22, and I've had to decide that it's probably best if Mike is not there. We never know what might trigger an aggressive or out-of-control episode.  Change, over-excitement, food, crowds, loud music, hotel, lots of strangers, etc. are not a good combination for a TBI survivor at this stage of recovery. Please pray for us all, this is such an exciting & joyful time and yet an incredibly sad time also.

Psalm 145

1. I will exalt you, my god the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.

2. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.

3. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

9. The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.

13. Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations.

The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all he has made.

14. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.

16. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

17. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.

18. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

19. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

20. The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

21. My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. 

Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.

ALL, that means no one is left out. I will take Him at His word and trust Him.

New Direction

Well, the Ritalin was a no go.  There was a definite increase in the anxiety so Friday was rough and another drug tossed out.  Thursday afternoon was great. We visited a possible residential home and Mike stayed calm the entire time. He just said he didn't want to live with old people, and I don't blame him.  I would have a hard time putting him there for long term. There's no incentive to get better. The people seemed well cared for and comfortable, but very sedate, fragile, and old.

Sunday we had a very bad episode of out-of-control behavior and aggression to the point that I was afraid and called 911.  Mike was taken to an area hospital and long-story-short, he was observed, evaluated, determined that he needed to be admitted, no beds available, became anxious/agitated, was given a shot of Ativan, became calm, VERY lucid, and was released home with a small prescription of Ativan.  Today he has done so well and for the most part been cooperative, helpful, sweet, communicative, fun, NOT repeating (YAY! YAY! YAY!!!) He and Chris even went fishing.  If only we could keep this going, it would be wonderful.  However, I just read about Ativan, and see it is only used for the short-term, is highly addictive and after only a few days, can have the adverse effect.  So it is not the cure-all.

This morning, I went on-line to research other options for Mike, and actually went back to a brain injury specialist in the Richmond area that comes highly recommended by the Brain Injury Association of Virginia. I had spoken with Dr. Zasler before Mike and I moved here, but at the time went a different direction because he does not take insurance (or is out-of-network) so is more expensive.  After all the drama and chaos, checking into various other options and coming to dead-ends, today I e-mailed Dr. Zasler a brief description of what's been going on and have already received a response. He said to call his office and see if we can get him in. Praise God!!  Dr. Zasler is connected with or runs a residential facility called Tree of Life which specializes in brain injury. My hope is that Mike will be able to go there for a while, be evaluated, get medication adjusted, therapy, and whatever else he needs. Who knows, maybe they even have therapy sessions for spouses and family members. I know I need it. I am very thankful and blessed by the willingness of family members and friends who have offered financial assistance, if necessary, also.  Please pray. I am really hoping that this is God's will for us and we will be able to get in to see Dr. Zasler this week.

Happy Memorial Day!  I am so thankful for all the men and women past and present who have fought and given their lives so that we can enjoy the freedoms we have. We were invited to a very impromptu cookout tonight and had a wonderful time. Mike was doing so well, conversing with everyone, helping serve, carrying food to the table, we even played the corn hole game. After supper, we took a walk around "the track". Such a lovey tree covered path that I felt like we had entered another world, like walking into Narnia or something. The wonderful fragrance of honeysuckle lingering in the air and perfect coolness, birds chirping, walking hand-in-hand with a quiet Mike, ahhhh....

Come, walk with me.

I Peter 2:21

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, 

leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.