Two Years

Two Years

Friday we hit the 2 year anniversary of Mike’s accident. Most of the medical profession says that the greatest healing and changes in the person with brain injury occurs in the first 2 years. Some say that by the 2 year mark, any improvements that were going to happen have happened and so this is it. Other families who have loved ones with brain injury say “don’t believe it!” They say that improvements continue year after year, just extremely slow, the brain is very complex, but does continue to regenerate and heal. So we continue to pray, believe, and hope for more recovery.

 Mike did a great job in the Maundy Thursday play along with 12 other men from church. It was the first time I had ever seen the dramatization of Leonardo DaVinci’s painting, The Lord’s Supper. The cast posed at the table matching DaVinci’s painting. Each disciple told a little bit about themselves, how they came to know Jesus and wondered if they could be the one to betray him. It was well done and interesting to hear more about each disciple. Mike portrayed Thomas who is sitting to the right and behind the Jesus character who is seated at the middle of the table. Thomas is holding up his hand as if pointing to the sky. Only his head and hand are visible. (Mike kept his glasses on J)

 

Easter Sunday was a beautiful day to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Grace has a tradition of placing flowers on a cross. The cross is at the front of the church with palm branches attached to the back. At the end of the service, the congregation has the opportunity of placing flowers through the wire and transforming the bare, crooked, wooden cross to a cross blooming with life and beauty. What a beautiful visual reminder of how Christ offers to take away our sinful, crooked lives through his death on the cross and then give us a new and beautiful life through His resurrection. After the service, the cross was carried to the edge of the church property by the highway.

Last week, we had a very rough beginning of the week and then probably the best 3 days in a row ever. Wednesday, a man from Care Advantage came out to help with Mike and he had the opportunity to see almost all of the many faces of Mike. He came back on Thursday! Yay!  His name is Tony and he and Mike had a great day on Thursday. Unfortunately, Tony is not able to drive Mike anywhere yet, (I’m going to speak with the powers-that-be and see if we can remedy this situation.) so we all went to Johnny’s and then came home and Mike wanted to show Tony around the farm so they headed off for a walk.

I went to Richmond to submit the conservator and guardianship reports. It was a gorgeous spring day and I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone and away. I parked in a parking deck and loved the freedom to go at my own pace. I probably walked about 25-30 city blocks making all the stops I needed to make plus enjoying the day and seeing Spring in bloom. Saw the Square (Governor’s Square?) where I used to eat lunch when I worked in Richmond so detoured around to look at that and then decided to see if Stuffy’s was still around. Stuffy’s is a sub shop where we would stop and get lunch on our way home from Secretarial classes. Sure enough, it is still there and the inside looks almost the same!  I ordered my old favorite of turkey on pita with lettuce, tomato, mayo, oil & vinegar and their herb mix. What a nostalgic treat for my taste buds! I sat in the car, enjoyed my trip down memory lane, ate my lunch and then back home. I felt the tension and stress melting away.

Saturday Mike and I joined a few folks in Blackstone to help pick up litter along the streets.  I forgot to take a photo while we were working so here we are in our orange vests after we had picked up 2 1/2 big bags of trash. Backs hurting, but very satisfying work.

Beautiful baby girl, Aria, is here!

Our son, Keegan and his wife, Amy, have a beautiful girl. Aria Elizabeth Rice was born about 5:30 AM, April 11, 2014 after 22 hours of labor. Aria is healthy, precious, adorable, beautiful....you know....perfect!  She was 6 lb. 11 oz. at birth.

Caleb, Anastasia, Mike and I drove down to Charlotte on Friday. We didn't get to the hospital until about 9:30 PM, but were able to see Keegan and Aria briefly.

Daddy and baby!

Saturday morning Mike and I went by to visit and then did some shopping. Caleb and Anastasia did some shopping later in the day and then we all returned to the hospital for a while.

Grandpa Mike!

Grandma & bright eyed Aria

Aria Elizabeth Rice

Uncle Caleb

 Today Mike cut grass at K&A's (was totally happy and we could hardly get him to stop for a break. He started about 9:30 or 10 and didn't come in until 1:30.)  Keegan, Amy and Aria arrived home about 1:00. So fun to have a baby in the family. Pictures are better than a lot of words, so enjoy!

Mommy & baby!

Keegan, Amy, & Aria - home

So precious.

A Good Day

Just had to tell you that today has been one of our best days yet. Was surprising too because it rained all day. In the recent past, it typically seemed that when the weather was rainy or snowy, Mike had a rough day. Y'all must have been really storming the gates of heaven for us. Thank you.

I forgot to mention in the post yesterday that we bought Mike a rowing machine. He had read in Consumer Reports that rowing machines were good all-around exercise machines and we'd been looking online and in stores. Finally decided to order direct from a company. It is easy on the body and actually a great stress reliever. (for me anyway!) I've found when I'm frustrated and have to walk away, I can sit on there, close my eyes and imagine a lake and the rowing has a very soothing and calming effect. It seems to work for Mike also. When he gets anxious about leaving for Johnny's or church and I'm not ready yet, I've told him to go row so he has some way of getting out his anxiety and pass the time. This past Sunday, he left the breakfast table and didn't come back for a long time, when I went to see what he was doing, he was rowing away all on his own initiative!! Yippee!

We have not been back to swim yet. Last week while in Richmond, we bought him a close fitting life jacket. Now I'll feel safer going with him by myself and he feels more secure, as well.

Please pray for a young couple, Brian & Allison, who just lost their 6 week old baby Owen. Their first born. He had been fighting for life, had multiple procedures, and passed away about 8:00 pm today. So heartbreaking.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

SOS

The last 2 weeks, I sent out an SOS to several people and places. Finding the right person(s) to spend time with Mike is proving to be difficult. Unfortunately, the 2 local organizations did not work out, ones I called in Richmond do not service this area, and the one I'm currently working through from Colonial Heights called this afternoon and said they do not have a good fit to send tomorrow, but are going to run an ad to try to find someone. Hmmmm? I appreciate the effort and they have communicated very well with me, but I won't expect anyone soon. What I like about this company is that their employees are allowed to drive clients, so I was hoping for 2 days a week/5 hours a day where they would take Mike to Johnny's to work out. I'd take one day for myself and one day to help Mom.

Working out at Johnny's

I also made a request at church asking men to let me know if they had a couple of hours that they could spend with Mike. While Mike is better, we still have rough periods and being responsible for someone else 24/7 is tiring. I need help and about lost my sanity one day this week. The curious thing is that Mike can act mostly normal at church on Sunday mornings, Wednesday night suppers, around other people, most of the time at Johnny's, and was a perfect gentleman, answering questions, calm, etc. with the nurse that came to evaluate him. Then seems to fall apart when it's just the two of us. I'm getting a complex. I'm always trying to figure out why he acts the way he does and these are some of the possibilities I've come up with so far.
1. He sees me as the caregiver and resents me asking him if he's done this or that or telling him what he needs to do, setting the schedule, etc. - nag, nag, nag
2. If his attention is not constantly engaged by an activity or person, he cannot maintain calm or focus so resorts to repeating.
3. He expects someone to be immediately available upon his every question, demand or request. If no one responds quickly or doesn't respond the way he wants, he becomes frustrated or anxious and reverts to the repeating which can escalate into poor behavior.
4. We're just together way too much and get on each other's nerves. (think about anyone you love, do you really want to spend every moment of every day with them even if all is "normal"?)

Thankfully, since the weather has warmed up, we are able to get outside more and work in the yard. A real plus this week is that Tracey gave Mike a project of scraping and painting the poles for the horse jumps. (I don't know what to call them.) I asked Mike if he wanted me to help him or if he would prefer to work by himself and he wanted to work by himself. Woo Hoo!! This was wonderful! He scraped and I raked and we both enjoyed some time of independence on Friday and again on Saturday. Saturday morning, we joined folks at church for the clean up day. Mike raked with the men and I washed windows with the ladies. Another nice change of pace. Tonight, Hugh has taken Mike to church to hopefully play the role of Thomas in the Lord's supper play at church on Maundy Thursday. Please pray that he will be able to do this without any TBI episodes. He really wants to be involved in church activities and I'm so thankful they are giving him the chance. (They returned and all went well! Praise the Lord!!)

On Thursday, we went to Richmond, ate at the Crazy Greek restaurant, did a couple of errands and went to see the movie God's Not Dead. Very good movie - go see it. Mike really gets into whatever he reads or watches. He shouted out a few times during the movie, but didn't get out of control, so we were able to stay. However, I don't think we'll go to many movies. We almost didn't make it through the previews - they were too intense and he was getting agitated and started rocking in his seat.

I had a wonderful, spiritually filling time at the women's retreat a couple of weeks ago. What an amazing, beautiful, spirit-filled group of ladies. We sang, cried, laughed, praised, shared, ate and met new sisters in the Lord. Gayle, Tracey, Coley and Hugh got along fine with Mike. Gayle was pulling double duty. Our Mom blacked out that week and fell in the kitchen, hitting her head when she fell. Mom was checked out well at the ER and sent home. Said everything was fine with the pace maker and it must have been a drop in blood pressure. Gayle came a day early and helped with Mom. Unfortunately, Mom is still experiencing dizzy times and feeling woozy. Medication has been changed and doctors have been visited, but nothing real conclusive. Please keep her in your prayers that this will go away and that she'll have lots more energy soon.

We are anxiously awaiting word of our granddaughter's birth, but as of last night, still nothing happening. Today is the due date. Caleb is flying in on Tuesday, driving up to visit here and then we are all going back down to Charlotte next weekend. Hopefully she'll have arrived by then!

SOS - I was curious as to what SOS stands for and Googled it. It doesn't stand for anything according to Mentalfloss. It was morse code: 3 dots, 3 dashes, 3 dots that became the international sign of extreme distress. On Mentalfloss, it says that "save our souls" and "save our ship" are backronyms. Something people came up with to fit the letters. Well, I like both of the bacronyms. In my distress this week, I felt like a sinking ship and do indeed need help. God reminded me of a couple of verses that I shared at the women's retreat. I'm so thankful that He has saved my soul and continues to save me from myself.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." It is so easy to lose focus. I really am a self-centered person and that's when I get the most resentful and aggravated about our situation. The following quote from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word really struck me after I had lost patience with Mike and yelled at him. "I admit that I reaped absolutely no benefit from the things I'm now ashamed of." So true!  When I lose my patience with him, it only makes the situation worse and I feel awful. It is not helpful or productive. There is no benefit.

I Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
This trial will not go on forever, God promises and He is faithful to His promises. What really struck me this time when I read I Peter was that after a little while, He himself will restore us! WOW! Himself! Now that's a promise I look forward to with great hope! Yes, it doesn't seem like a little while, but in God's timing and in light of eternity, this trial is light, momentary and only lasting a little while.

Yet, I do need help. It is hard to ask for help, but please help keep us afloat if you live in the area and are able. Especially men or couples, if I'm not going to be around or you want to take him somewhere. Whoever is interested, can e-mail me mcjrrice@gmail.com. I'm going to work on typing up instructions and necessary information. If there are several people, we can even have an info session. I've learned by fire, you don't have to learn that way. Thank you.

Swimming

The swimming adventure went well. A bit sobering for Mike. He was so sure he would be able to just swim like he always has in the past.  He started out on his back and looked like he was struggling a little to keep his head above the water. Hugh and I stayed beside him to about the 5 ft. deep area and then we asked him to turn around. He did and tried to swim on his stomach and his body just wouldn't cooperate with what his mind knew he could do. He drank a little pool water and looked wide-eyed, but didn't say anything or panic. Thankfully they had swim noodles there, so I asked if he wanted one. He did and the rest of the time there, he swam with a noodle under his arms or head and did well. I encouraged him that he would get better as we continue to work out at Johnny's and get his shoulders and ankles loosened and flexible again. He said it also didn't help to have "sinking legs". I wonder how much the rods and plate weigh and what effect they do have on his legs. Anyway, he enjoyed the outing and I guess we would be OK there by ourselves, but I think I would still prefer to have someone else with us for a few more times.

Today is our 30th anniversary. We had planned to go out, but it has been sleeting and snowing, so we'll postpone the outing. We're just hanging out together at home. He's been repeating more yesterday and today, maybe it's the weather. We walked with a Leslie Sansone DVD this morning and then did some exercises and stretches on our mats. As we were laying out the mats, I wasn't watching Mike and evidently he tried to get down on the mat bottom first, every time he tries to get down this way, he just sort of crash lands. Johnny and I keep telling him to get down on his hands and knees, because he can go down more gently that way. Anyway, I heard a loud !SMACK! and flipped around to see him on the floor and sitting up from hitting his head on the chest of drawers. OUCH!  He turned around on the mat, rested a few minutes, and then started doing his sit-ups. He has a bump on the back of his head, but seems fine otherwise. He read and I made donut dough, we ate lunch and now he is resting. 

James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I read the above verses one day last week and find it a challenge to "consider it pure joy" when faced with these trials of living with brain injury. I have definitely lost my focus several times in the past few weeks when days were rough; however, this lack of focus only intensifies the rough days. I am working on daily, moment by moment, keeping my focus on Jesus and the joy that He gives even in the midst of difficulties and trials. When I focus on the perseverating, or wild behavior, I become anxious and immature and definitely lacking in self-control. I don't want to be that way and don't like myself when I am that way, plus it causes more anxiety in Mike. Obviously, perseverance has not finished it's work in me yet. I am still striving to be "mature and complete, not lacking anything" plus being joyful always.

Thank God for this beautiful day!

Well, after several rough days, stopping the Viibryd, resuming the Amantadine, using small dosages of Trazodone as needed for anxiety, me losing my patience, getting antibiotics for chest congestion again, the past 3 days have been terrific. We've only had one crazy episode on Thursday, but other than that, Mike has been trying really hard not to repeat and has been calm. He is so nice to be around when he's calm and can think somewhat rationally.

I also think he is becoming aware of his brain injury and the fact that sometimes it makes him do things he really doesn't want to do. I have video taped him on my phone several times, but in the past when I tried to show him how he acted, it would just set him off into an episode. After the episode on Thursday, I asked him if he would like to see what happens when he loses control and he did.  This time it really seemed to register that what I've been telling him was the truth.

When he is doing well, he says things like "Thank God for this beautiful day!", "Let me help you with your coat, Jennifer", "How can I help you?" "I'm sorry I yelled at you." Music to my ears! Yesterday he wanted to go visit friends from church, so we called Dick and Diane and went to visit. Diane fixed a simple and delicious lunch for us and we thoroughly enjoyed our visit.

In a few minutes, Hugh is going to go with us to VUMAC (Virginia United Methodist Assembly Center) to the indoor pool and see how Mike does swimming for the first time since the accident. He was a very strong swimmer before, but his body is a lot different now. His left shoulder is much better since working out at Johnny's, but still has some limited range of motion. I didn't want to try going by myself with Mike for the first time, so am thankful Hugh can be there with us. I hope and pray Mike just takes off with no trouble. He definitely thinks he's able to swim just like before.  He told me, it's just like riding a bike, you don't forget.

My nephew and his wife (TR & Brittany) stayed with Mike Wednesday afternoon and I was finally able to have lunch with a friend from High School. We've tried a few times and things just didn't work out. It was such fun to catch up with Daphne on some of the happenings during the 30+ years since high school.

Next weekend, I have the privilege of sharing at a women's retreat along with two other ladies. Please pray for family members who will be staying with Mike, for Mike to be calm and not worried, and for me and the other ladies to share what the Lord wants us to share. I have felt led to share about our God of Hope and it has been such a blessing to be praying and preparing for this retreat. I believe it has been a Godsend to me to have this message to focus on while transitioning Mike back home.

Time to go swim! Have a great weekend!

Sometimes more is just too much

At the eye doctor. Mike
kept saying "I'm smiling."

Cool shades
After having our eyes dilated.

Ever here that saying "If a little is good, more is better."?  Well sometimes more is just....more or even too much. When we had Mike with us at Christmas, I wrote down what medications he was getting at the time. When we picked him up from NeuroRestorative on Jan. 13, I was told that the Dr. had increased his Amantadine from just one in the morning to one in the morning and one in the evening and we were to start it when we got home.  This we did. Well, I knew we were having more episodes of perseveration and anxiousness, but I chalked it up to the move, new living arrangements, and the whole upheaval/transitioning. Then we saw Dr. Sellman and discussed these episodes and decided to try a medication to head these anxious times off before they came and chose to try Viibryd. Viibryd was introduced slowly 10mg one week, 20mg the second week and then 40mg. In the beginning, it seemed to help calm the anxiety.

Monday, Feb. 24. Mike went up to take a nap, Leah was here, and I left to do some errands. Evidently, he got up shortly after I left and seemed angry from the time he got up. He came down the stairs in only his socks, slipped on the last few steps, and landed on his bottom plus scraped his back. Leah got him up, tried to check for injuries, but he wouldn't let her. Told her he was going to Ohio and was tired of living here. She was able to help him get dressed, but then he headed out the door. When she tried to stop him, he pushed her so hard that she fell. Understandably, she quit. Well, I decided to take a step back, rethink, regroup, and let it just be the two of us for a while. (Ok, I forgot how confining and stressful it can be to have a very loud, repeating shadow and be on call 24/7.) Anyway, last Wednesday we started the 40mg tablet of Viibryd and by Saturday, Mr. Frantic and The Repeater were trying to move in full time.

One of Mike's previous doctors had told me I could give Mike trazodone in low dosages in the daytime to help with anxiety. This I did over the weekend. On Monday, I put in a call to Dr. Sellman and he told me to cut the tablet in half. On Wednesday morning Mike had a very rough episode. Stayed in the bathroom for over an hour, repeating loudly and wouldn't let me do anything for him. Once again, I called the doctor. Thank God, he is very good about calling back within a couple of hours. This time I told him I thought the extra Amantadine might also be part of the problem. I loved his response "If you didn't see a noticeable change for the better, then let's get rid of it!" Now he's getting one less Amantadine per day, is being weaned off of the Viibryd, and takes 12.5mg of Trazodone in the morning and as needed in the afternoon. Yesterday was better, he was just confused and agitated after his nap.

Today when he came down for breakfast he was very anxious and speaking nonsensically. He was becoming very forceful and determined to unplug the coffee pot. I could tell he was getting very frustrated and almost in tears because I didn't understand. When he finally calmed down, he was able to tell me that he had unplugged the heater upstairs because he couldn't remember how to cut it off. This is what he was trying to communicate to me, but due to his agitation, his words did not make any sense. He was still worried about the heater and so I went up to check on it. After that, he was fine. I had a dentist appointment and due to Johnny's kindness, was able to drop Mike off to exercise while I went to my appointment. Johnny is so great with Mike and a real blessing to both of us.

It's such a cold icy day here. We stopped to see Mom and Dad on the way home and we all watched Temple Grandin.  What an amazing true story. Highly recommend.

Last Friday we went to see a behavior analyst. He had some good things to share with us and I believe will be helpful during this part of our adventure. Mike almost always asks whoever we see for the first time if they are a Christian. Many of the doctors are not. Also, I recently met someone who is very disenchanted with the church, church-going people, and so-called Christians. Their experience has been that those who are in these categories bicker, gossip, exclude certain other people, and from their observation are not living any different from the rest of the world and possibly are worse because they think they are better than others.

The Word tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:14 & 15 that “…through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.” So, what kind of fragrance are we? From the above perspective, it seems to be a stench. Yes, we are all humans and no one will be perfect this side of heaven; however, following Christ means we are to continually die to ourselves, our ways, our pettiness, our backbiting, and be a pleasing aroma to God and to the world that is perishing without Him. What’s more important? Getting my way? Going with the crowd? Doing what makes me happy?OR being obedient to God's word and letting Christ’s way live through me so that others are attracted to His smell and His purity?

It is a narrow road, but He promises to be right here with us the entire time giving us the strength to live separately from the world and its stench. Not that we are better than anyone, but that Jesus Christ’s way is best and with the desire that no one perish but all have eternal life. If a stranger is listening in on our conversation or observing our life, is there a pleasing fragrance and difference that makes them want to know why we are like that? OR is there the appearance of pleasantness, but upon close inspection it causes the stranger to desire to pinch their nose to keep out the bad odor or just no difference from those who don’t have Christ?  We are in the world, but are not to be part of the world. Be either cold or hot, not lukewarm. We can’t straddle the fence.  Let’s work on being the pleasing aroma of Christ no matter who is watching and listening. It is not easy, but neither was it easy for God to sacrifice His Son nor was it easy for Jesus to be that sacrifice. Look how much He loved us. How much do we love Him? It shows in our words and actions.

Romans

Romans has recently become my favorite book of the Bible. There is so much hope in those written pages. Here is one verse that I am reading often:

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,

so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit."

Hope is definitely something I have held on to through these long months. "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5    Hope does not disappoint us, because GOD.  That says it all. God is our hope - the source and sustainer of hope - The One we can hope in. One of the definitions of hope is "a feeling of trust". In order to trust, we have to have something or someone to trust. There is no one better than God, the Almighty, who is always faithful to fulfill what He says.

It was hope that led Keegan and I to pursue the neuro unit at Wake Med and it was hope that led Mike's family and I to send him to NeuroRestorative back in July 2013. And those hopes did not disappoint because God went before us and it was where Mike received care he needed to help him improve. While we haven't "arrived", we sure are better than we were and there is still hope of continued recovery.

Overall, Mike is doing much better and the aggression is mostly gone. We've had a few episodes, but the good thing about living at Hugh and Tracey's is that I can just walk away from him and go somewhere else in the house. We're usually the only ones here so I don't have to worry about him bothering anyone else. He's usually stuck on a phrase which gets progressively louder and louder and he is doing some repetitive motion which eventually slows down and then stops. Sometimes he can be redirected, other times he has to get very tired or very hoarse before he will stop. 

When TR and Brittany were fixing up their trailer, Mike helped me clean out the refrigerator and he helped Coley paint the bathroom and kitchen. He did well and only got frustrated a little. He worked better with Coley than he did with me. 

I started out trying to keep a journal every day (it's sporadic at best) but here are a couple of entries:

Fri., Jan 24 – Debbie Moody went with us to Mike’s doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kreutzer a neuro-psychologist in Richmond. Mike started out rough that morning, but was calm and pleasant when Debbie arrived. Trip went well, he was asking Debbie questions, totally making sense. Then the doctor walked out, introductions were made and Mike asks “Are you a Christian? Do you believe in Jesus?” Dr. Kreutzer said “I can’t say that I do.” Well….Mike got stuck on “Do you?” and when he gets like this it is not quietly or softly spoken, it’s forceful and angry and persistent and usually gets louder and louder. The 2 doctors and I went on and talked and in a bit, Mike quieted down and even contributed to the conversation. Two or three times during the time with the doctors, Mike would latch onto some word or phrase and be stuck for a while and then all of a sudden he would be back with us. This happened frequently throughout the day. After his appointment, we ate at P.F. Changs (delicious), went to Lifeway to get Mike a new Bible, and stopped at Kroger. Mike really did great considering all that we did. He would leave us from time to time and The Repeater would take over and then Mike would return – polite, pleasant, communicating, etc. Just one little thing could make him anxious or if it wasn’t the way he wanted it, and The Repeater would reappear. It really is like there’s a dual personality.

Sat., Jan 25  - If it’s a good day, Mike usually wakes up and says “What are we doing today?” Saturday we did some house cleaning, fed calves and watched the movie “Paradise Road”. Sad, but good about prisoner of war women on the island of Sumatra during WWII and how they assembled a choral group. Before supper, we had an episode that I thought was quite funny. My mom had given us a small container of Chex mix on Friday. Well, Saturday as I’m cooking supper, I opened it and started snacking. Mike at first said, "that’s for Dad, he wanted one in every house". I told him no, Mom sent it for us to eat, Dad was grinding some up small for himself. Mike became so insistent that I shouldn’t eat it and then switched to “That’s for visitors!” He came over where I was, and put the lid on it. Well, I’m stubborn too, I reopened it, and then he started saying I was hoarding it!  He was grabbing for it, pushing me (not hard) and quite persistent and upset.  All I could do was let him take it and laugh! It struck me so funny, how determined he was!

Tues, Jan. 28 – Snowed again today just like last Tuesday and Mike was in a bad way again also. Maybe Debbie is right and it has something to do with the weather. Had to call in reinforcements this morning – thanks, Coley!  Mike woke up at 8 AM, as usual, but wanted to go back to bed so I let him. BIG Mistake! When he woke up the second time, he was all frantic, grabbing shoes out of the closet and wrapping them all up in a blanket along with his coat. I can’t even remember what the repeater was saying, but I was afraid to leave him to go downstairs to get his meds and no one else was in the house. Coley came and got his yogurt and medication and he gobbled that down. Still agitated, so Coley stayed with him while I fixed oatmeal and brought that up.  He began to calm down, still clutching his bundle, we made our way downstairs – Coley in front and me behind. The repeater was an almost constant unwanted visitor today.

Thurs., Jan. 30 – Morning went well, Leah (our home CNA aide) came and we all went to town. Took his wedding band to be re-sized and visited Johnny’s Firm and Fitness Center. Johnny is a retired Marine and police officer. Very  understanding and willing to work one-on-one with Mike. Took us around and let Mike try out a lot of the equipment. Only $35/month, so we both signed up. Home, Mike rested, we fed calves and then the repeater and Mr. Frantic again.  Any little thing can set him off and I just seem to exasperate him when he’s like this. Later, Coley came by and she led him in the kitchen and got him to calm down and set the table. Evening passed well, we started watching The Hobbit. Fun.

Fri., Jan 31 – Started our new routine which we’ll hopefully do M-F. Got Mike up at 7 AM, devotions, breakfast, shaving, etc. and then to Johnny’s Fitness. Today was a back work-out and some abs and cardio.  We both really enjoyed it. Then took Mike for a haircut and got a few groceries.  Johnny is great with Mike and although we had some of The Repeater, he usually went away with changed activity or ignoring and just continuing on.  Johnny even worked on my back with a vibrator and put Arnica Gel on it. Such personalized service and only $35 a month!  What a Godsend! I believe Mike will be more cooperative and benefit more from this than he did from PT and OT. The barber, Bill, wouldn’t let me pay for Mike’s haircut. There is a lot of kindness and generosity in this small town. Finished The Hobbit.  Such a great movie – love the scenery and costumes, etc.

Sun., Feb. 2 – Yesterday Mike and I went to Maymont Park in Richmond and walked around for about 1 hour. We enjoyed the outing and watching the antics of the otters in the nature center. I made Cheesy Chicken Chowder for the youth Souper Bowl lunch. We enjoyed Sunday School and Church and the lunch. Rested then took a long walk over to the horse barn and back to Mom and Dad’s. Mom brought us home. Watched Seattle Seahawks trounce the Broncos. Felt sorry for Peyton Manning, but thrilled for Russell Wilson, former NCSU quarterback during Keegan’s time at NCSU. The Repeater and Mr. Frantic took most of the day off, praise God!

Last Thursday, Mike started running a fever of over 101 and I could hear rattling in his chest. He is prone to aspiration pneumonia and had just finished a round of antibiotics right after he came home. We started an antibiotic on Friday which gave him terrible diarrhea, so Sunday the on-call PA changed his medicine and told me to get a pro-biotic also. It was a rather rough weekend, but by Monday he was doing much better and we were able to return to Johnny's. Tuesday Mike had an appointment in Richmond with a neuro-psychiatrist. It was his best day yet, I think. We had a good 1.5 hours of work-out at Johnny's, then to Richmond, where Mike was calm and did great with Dr. Sellman, whom we both liked very much. I liked the fact that he considers natural remedies (he called functional medicine), as well as, traditional medicines and the way he would describe how patients said the different treatments made them feel. This helped me to contribute to the decision of which things to try with Mike. Dr. Sellman, was very personable, as well, which made us both comfortable.

Today we are staying in. It started snowing yesterday about 2:30 and snowed until 10 or after last night. Earlier this afternoon it was raining and now it is back to snowing again. We just exercised and stretched on our own today, played Settlers with Coley, enjoyed cinnamon crisps that Tracey made, then Mike napped and read while I have been working at the desk and typing this. Very pleasant day inside. Mike even won the Settlers game!  

If you have been following our story since the beginning or for a long time, you can easily see where some of our hopes are being realized and we continue to hope for what we haven't seen yet also. Everyone has trials, suffering and/or difficulties in their lives. Please be encouraged and never ever give up hope. There is always hope for the believer in Jesus Christ our Lord, both for this life and for eternity. 

Romans 8:24b-25

Who hopes for what he already has? 

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

II Corinthians 4:18

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. 

For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

“Praise be to God!”

Mike is doing fantastic! Vivian and I arrived at NR about 11:00 AM on Monday morning. I went to the case manager’s office to sign papers and get discharge instructions, while Viv waited in the car. When I came out, they already had the car packed.  The staff had packed all of Mike’s things and when he saw me arrive, he wasn’t going to waste any time! We were back on the road in less than an hour. Many of the staff were sad to see him leave, but Mike was anxious to “get out of this town”. He didn’t even want to eat around there. We drove to Christiansburg and ate at a Wendy’s.  He became a little bit anxious when we left Wendy’s because he thought we were returning to “the center”. Then a bit further down the road, he became quite insistent, perseverative, and agitated about getting some medicine for his cold. He was not appeased until we finally stopped and spoke with a pharmacist at Walgreens and he took the medicine. The rest of the trip was thankfully uneventful.

We stopped in to see Mom and Dad, ate fruitcake, and then on over to our new home at Hugh and Tracey’s. Mike started to worry that his socks had not been packed and worry leads to agitation and perseveration, so Vivian and I started looking through all the boxes and bags until we found them. After unpacking almost everything, we both rested for a while. That night, Brittany fixed beef & barley soup and all of Hugh’s family, plus Mom, Dad & Vivian, came over for supper. Mike ate very well, and the evening passed pleasantly.

Praise God! Mike is taking care of all of his personal needs himself with minimal assistance. We’ve taken a couple of walks, gone to Wal-Mart, swept the floors, taken out the trash, he even helped me make chicken pot pie for supper Tuesday night by cutting the vegetables. Wednesday morning he was perseverative and hard to redirect, but got better as the morning progressed.  As at Christmas, rest and food are key. He is definitely still in denial about his abilities or some things that happen, but overall is so much better and I trust that awareness will come with time. Thankfully, he wants to do things for himself and I am encouraging that, as well, except when I feel his safety is at risk.

We went to the church fellowship supper last night and he conversed well with people there and greatly enjoyed it. This afternoon we are going to clean the calf barn and feed the calves after resting for a while.

This morning we were sitting at breakfast and he asked if any of his former co-workers had visited him when he was in the hospital. I told him yes, and that in a couple of months, I would like for us to go to Fayetteville and Raeford for a visit. I told him we might be able to stay with friends from our church there. Either Don & Jane or Christy and Calvin. He sat for a minute and then said “Sintic”? I was shocked!  This is the first time he has remembered anybody from West Fayetteville Baptist!! I was so excited! Then he said “Rome”.  I praised him highly and gave him a high five! Thank you, Lord, this is truly miraculous and very exciting!

Need to stop and get lunch. Thank you, thank you, for praying for us and please continue. God is answering prayers in amazing ways. Hallelujah!!

Our Christmas Story and Beyond

The time with Mike over Christmas was so great that I felt like Mary when she said “My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in Christ my Savior.” The Ohio Rices (Mike’s Mom, brother, Mark, and his wife, Jenney and their 2 children, Maggie & Sam) met me at NeuroRestorative just after lunch on Christmas Eve. Mark drove our car, with Mike and me in the back, to the Residence Inn in Roanoke. Mike did great on the drive and when we arrived at the hotel, we waited in the car while Mark went to see if we could check in early. I told Mike that during our time together he needed to let us know if he was tired or we were too loud, etc. As we sat there, he closed his eyes and I asked him if he was alright. He said “I’m praying, leave me alone!”  Guess he got the message. J

Keegan and Amy arrived shortly after all of us. Mike was anxious to go exercise, so Keegan and Mark took him to the exercise room. They were both amazed. Said Mike used the elliptical machine for about 35 minutes and then did 10 push-ups and 50 sit-ups. Keegan said he looked like the “old” pre-accident papa. He came back to the room and showered and then we all went to a Christmas Eve service at a local church. Mike enjoyed singing the Christmas hymns and even commented that he had not been to a church since going to the “center” (that’s what he calls NeuroRestorative).  After the service, he got stuck saying “Merry Christmas” for a while, but had been so “normal” all afternoon, so we were very thankful. Also, it was time for supper, so he was probably hungry.  We headed right to Pizza Hut and he was very anxious to have a salad. Thankfully, they have a salad bar, so I was able to get him a salad right away, and he settled down quickly and ate. He even ate carefully and did not gorge the food.  When we were leaving, I said “brrr, it’s cold” and Jenney commented that it was refreshing. Mike said “Are you kidding? It’s cold!” So normal! We were all thrilled!

Mike also prayed for several of our meals and prayed before we opened gifts on Christmas day, he became teary-eyed as he expressed thanks for being with his family. He did so many things on his own initiative, which is huge for TBI survivors and can be a long time coming. The Lord is really answering prayers and the doctors seem to have found a good combination of medication right now. We enjoyed the rest of our time together talking, playing games, eating, walking, etc.  Mike didn’t talk a whole lot, but when he did, it was appropriate to the conversations going on around him.  He also took care of his personal needs, mainly by himself, which is another huge praise. 

The first night we could tell he was starting to get tired and so all quit and went to bed about 10pm. The second night, we were having fun playing games and although it seemed he was getting tired, he did not want to stop so we continued.  By the end of the game, we could tell it had been too much, he became perseverative and could not focus to brush his teeth, etc. I just helped him change his clothes and he collapsed into bed. He immediately became quiet and still.  In about 15 minutes, he got up took care of his personal care and then went back to bed.  He just needed a few quiet moments to calm down and get refocused. This is how it went the entire time together. If he became hungry, tired, or overstimulated, once he ate, rested or the activity was changed, then he was fine. We did not have any aggressive episodes!!!! Woo Hoo! Thank you, Jesus!!!

Our Christmas dinner was a fully prepared meal from Kroger!  It sure was easy just to warm it up on Christmas day. Mark had the hardest job carving the turkey with a small knife, but we enjoyed the meal with little preparation or fuss. December 26 we all enjoyed breakfast together in the hotel and then the Ohio Rices headed home. (BTW – It’s the first time I’ve ever stayed at a Residence Inn. I don’t know about other ones but this one in Roanoke is the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in and the staff was terrific. It truly was a home away from home. Thank you, Mark & Jenney, for making all of the arrangements!) After breakfast, we packed Mike’s things and headed back to NeuroRestorative. It was hard to take him back when he was doing so well, but we knew it was only for a few more weeks. This was hard for him to understand. I told him to be strong, be a witness for Christ to the staff there, and then he’d be coming home soon. He kept saying “How do you know?” He did become more anxious as we drove and once we were back there, but he did not beg to come with us or make it too difficult.  I’ve talked with him many times since Christmas and usually we have a good conversation. He is still very impatient and can become anxious quickly, but I hold great hope that some of that will calm down once he’s with family.

Please be praying that he will start to become aware of his limitations and the fact that he cannot return to teaching. This is a difficult thing for TBI survivors and can take years for them to realize that they are not the same. Inwardly he still feels like the same person and believes he can do all that he used to be able to do.  When he has the anxious/perseverative times, he is unaware of them and doesn’t believe me or others when we tell him how he behaves.  So, I think the whole “work” issue will probably still be an issue once he comes home. I’m trying to prepare him for coming “home” and what to expect, but he continues to talk about going to work or working here on the farm. Hopefully he’ll be content to work with me feeding calves and cleaning out the calf barn, yard and house work, plus mental stimulation.  I’ve pulled out my algebra and anatomy books from my brief stint at college a few years ago and thought we could work through some of that, plus Bible studies. 

With the help of Hugh, my sister, Vivian, and Ralph, a farm worker, our stuff was moved into Hugh and Tracey’s house last Friday and Saturday. Mike is coming home Monday, January 13. I’ve made Mike a doctor’s appointment with a neuro-psychologist at VCU/MCV in Richmond. From the lists BIAV gave me, it looked like going through a hospital system would be the best. There would be a team of doctors that already work together and could help me figure out who we need. I’ve also spoken with a home aid agency and am supposed to hear from their RN this week to set up an initial appointment so we can line up personal assistance here. I saw our PCP yesterday due to carpal tunnel in my right hand and anxiety. Got a shot for the hand, and going to try a pill for the anxiety. Today I went to a new chiropractor that I liked very much and also saw my counselor, so hopefully I’ll be in good shape for Mike's return. I've been trying to grow my hair out for what seems like the entire 20 months of our TBI life and yesterday gave up and had it cut. Wow!  It's way short, oh well, it will grow.

My Scripture reading today was in Mark.  Mark 10:43b-45 "Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."  These verses were an encouragement to me, especially when I get tired of this new normal and wish I could just get a job and go back to a "normal" life.  Christ came to serve and give his life for many. I want to follow Christ and serving is one way to do that. May I serve Mike to the best of my ability and continually seek to be more like Jesus. My family is serving us, by providing homes for us to live in and giving up their normal. Family and friends are serving by helping us move, providing financial, emotional, and prayer support. What beautiful examples of Jesus.

Miraculous Christmas

Just a quick note with lots of praise and thanks to God for how miraculously well Mike is doing. Having a wonderful hotel Christmas with most of the Rices and a very calm and clear Mike. Woo hoo! ! Best Christmas present I (we) could receive. Thank you Jesus! !

Our Christmas Card to You

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

May each and every one of you have a wonderful celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, remembering that He came to give us eternal life through His death and resurrection. God gave us the greatest gift ever when He sent Jesus to earth. It truly is a Merry Christmas!

I am excited and a little nervous about our Christmas plans. The Ohio Rices', Keegan, Amy, Mike, and I are all spending Christmas together at a hotel in Roanoke. We will pick Mike up on Tuesday and take him back on Thursday. Please be in prayer that this will be a miraculously blessed time and that Mike will be calm and able to enjoy the time together. I saw him for a few hours last Thursday along with my friend, Debbie, and most of the time he did great. May the Lord grant that these times will continue and become more and more frequent.

Just this weekend, it has been decided that Mike and I will move in with my brother and his wife, Hugh & Tracey. This will be a quieter location away from the main workings of the farm.  They are away from home most of the day so it will be a peaceful place for me to work with Mike, plus if necessary, they would be able to help at times. We hope to have Mike home by mid-January or earlier. We have a great Primary Care Physician, but I need to find the other doctors necessary for Mike's care like a neuro-psychologist and/or neuro-psychiatrist, and possibly a neurologist. I am also in contact with an agency for in-home assistance. If you live in the Richmond, Petersburg, or Farmville area and have any knowledge good or bad of these types of doctors or in-home agencies, I would appreciate your input. My e-mail address is mcjrrice@gmail.com. Please also be praying about this transition. 

Since everyone knows how our year has been, our Christmas card to you is a short skit that the Lord gave to me for the Grace UMC Christmas Community Gathering which I will copy and past below. I love you and appreciate each of you so very much. Merry Christmas!

IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!!

It’s all about Jesus. Do you know that?  I mean REALLY know that?! Christmas is Jesus.  Jesus IS Christmas! Jesus, God’s Son. Think about that for a minute. The Son of God!! God, the Almighty, the maker of heaven and earth. Our creator! The reason that we are breathing right now!  Jesus, who was with His Father…GOD… gave up His life of glory to be born a baby here on earth. We like to romanticize it, but it was a stable, with smelly animals, manure, straw, hay, maybe even some mice. Jesus left His glorious home in heaven to be born to human parents in a smelly stable. The Holy Son of God, transformed into a human baby for us.

Yeah, a baby. God likes to do things in unusual ways. The Apostle Matthew tells us that when Joseph discovered that Mary was going to have a baby, “he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” BUT…”an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins’.”  This took place to fulfill what the prophet Isaiah said, “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel.” Immanuel means “God with us.”… GOD WITH US!.... He is right here…. with us! Amazing!

I was just reading in Luke chapter 2. Luke tells us that an angel of the Lord also appeared to shepherds living out in the fields and they were terrified! The glory of the Lord was so bright that it lit up all around them. The angel said: “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a SAVIOR has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” Then a huge gathering of angels praised God and said “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

This is so true!  When we believe and accept all the Bible tells us about Jesus, our Spirit is at peace and rest. And you know the best part?  This is true for all eternity, not just here.  Christmas is just the beginning of the story of Jesus on earth. He lived a sinless life as God’s Son, giving us an example to follow. His death on the cross, paid the penalty (or price) for all of our sins. His resurrection from the dead conquered death and Satan once and for all and gives us reason to rejoice! His victory over death gives eternal life to all who believe and accept Him.

It IS ALL about Jesus. It always has been, from the very beginning. Jesus IS Christmas. Without him there is no hope, no eternal life, no party, no celebration.  Jesus came to be our Savior, our Redeemer, our Lord. With Jesus, there is life, abundant life both now and forever.

God loves us so much, all we have to do is believe and receive as He tells us in John: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.”

Do you believe? Don’t delay. Don’t miss out! Jesus is holding His gift of salvation out to you. His arms are out-stretched, the price has been paid - all you have to do is reach out and receive it. He loves you so much and He wants you to have it. That’s why He came. The very first Christmas gift was from God to us and it was enough. His gift was Jesus! JESUS is Christmas!

There’s a great Christmas hymn that tells the message we’re talking about. Come on everybody let’s sing  “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus”.

Characters and audience sing: “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus” by Charles Wesley

1.         Come, thou long expected Jesus,

            born to set thy people free;

            from our fears and sins release us,

            let us find our rest in thee. 

            Israel's strength and consolation,

            hope of all the earth thou art;

            dear desire of every nation,

            joy of every longing heart.

2.         Born thy people to deliver,

            born a child and yet a King,

            born to reign in us forever,

            now thy gracious kingdom bring.

            By thine own eternal spirit

            rule in all our hearts alone;

            by thine all sufficient merit,

            raise us to thy glorious throne.

A Good Friday

Last Friday, Faye (a friend from church) and I drove up to see Mike and spend a few hours with him.  He was playing Sequence when we arrived and then got stuck on "my wife is here". However, once we went back to his room and I started pulling out articles of clothing that I brought to him, he stopped repeating and started putting things away in his drawers or hanging them in his closet. I had brought a newsletter from missionary friends of ours, plus his college magazine, etc. Instead of reading the newsletter, he immediately wanted to tape it to his wall. While the LST went to get some tape, I started reading the letter to him and then he sat beside me and read the rest of it himself. Once done, he taped it to his wall where he has family photos and other newsletters and cards. I am so appreciative to everyone who continues to write to him. I think he enjoys the mail very much, and the staff is jealous of how much mail he receives! Thank you!

After the letter, I gave him his Asbury University magazine, and he started reading an article. Lisa (CM) came to get me so that I could meet with her and Srdj (RN) for an update. I told Mike I would be back in a little while and he continued to read aloud.  The staff has seen improvement in the last 2 weeks or so. Less aggression, better cognition. Dr. Rooker has slowly increased the Depakote and Seroquel to a therapeutic level and is maintaining it there for now. When I returned to the room, Mike was still reading....the same paragraph over and over.  I put my finger on the next paragraph and started reading that and he then picked up there and continued to the end of the article even flipping the page and starting on the next one.  I wish I had tried to see if he could remember anything he read, but I didn't think of that at the time.

We tried to see if he would like to go out to lunch, but when we attempted to close the magazine or take it, he became agitated and so Faye and I just went and brought lunch back to him. He ate the majority of his lunch and then we went for a walk. While walking, he remembered some things he needed from the store so wanted to turn around. His conversation was appropriate and clear. He is very impatient, but was much easier to distract and did not become aggressive when having to wait for the car. At Wal-Mart, he knew exactly what he wanted, and did much better at being aware of others and not bull-dozing straight ahead. The lines were long and slow. Mike said to me "Tell me candidly, do you want to live in Virginia? Then start looking for a house for us." He was so much clearer cognitively, but still has no awareness of his mental limitations or un-cognitive times. Thankfully, he let us know that he needed to go to the bathroom (hurray!) so the LST, Amanda, took him while Faye and I waited in line. We had barely moved when they returned and so Mike looked at Amanda and asked "Do we have a car?" Amanda - "yes." Mike - "Then lets go, they can take care of this."

By the time we returned, it was about time for us to head back home. Mike was just finishing his snack of homemade fruitcake that Mom and I had made, so I told him Faye and I were going to have to leave soon. He said "Then go." So we did! I kissed him and told him I loved him. He followed us to the door, gave me a hug and kiss and told me he loved me.  Before we could pull out of the parking space, he had come out and kissed me through the window then walked back to the building. When we turned to drive by the building, he came over again, but each time he just kissed me, said he loved me and turned around to go back to the building. Not agitated or pleading to come with me.  It's so helpful when he seems content and settled. Unfortunately, upheaval is coming again soon.

He will probably be home mid-to-late January and, at this point, probably for good or at least the foreseeable future. I hope what we saw on Friday, is sustainable and he will continue to improve. Please pray about the logistics of bringing him home. I am going to start contacting in-home assistance agencies, and need to work on a regular schedule of activities, chores, exercise, therapy, Bible study, games, etc. He plays a lot of Sequence and sometimes Monopoly with the LSTs. I'll be looking for some volunteers to come help occupy him also. (hint, hint!)

Started this earlier in the week and just never got back to finish it, so will send it on until I can write another one.  Been a full, but productive week. I have talked with Mike a few times and each time he has been able to speak sensibly with me. I may hear him fuss at the staff, but he didn't get stuck and keep repeating over and over. A real plus!  We had a great Community Christmas Gathering at church on Wednesday night and I helped with a skit for that, the UMW met for a Christmas supper tonight at a restaurant in town, and Mom and I are going with our cousins, Betty & Bubba to a play tomorrow, so we are already celebrating Christmas BIG around here and haven't even done much decorating yet!  Christ the Savior is born! Hallelujah!

God at work.

The meeting today with Senator Frank Ruff and the Executive Director, Anne McDonnell, of BIAV went very well, I believe.  I simply shared our situation and the fact that there is no facility equipped to handle Mike, plus TBI doesn't fall under any of the established definitions. Anne spoke with Senator Ruff about the funding over the past 7-10 years, number of people being served vs the number needing services, the definition of the proposed Universal Waiver and the need for brain injury to be included in conversations about that waiver. Senator Ruff was sympathetic, but cautioned that whenever lines are shifted, someone always ends up in the proverbial crack. He did ask Anne to e-mail him the key points and numbers before December 5, his filing deadline.

Anne spoke also about the nursing facility BrainTree in Massachusetts and how that costs Virginia $1,000/day per person that is sent from Virginia. That is about 3X the cost of where Mike is, so if Virginia had a similar facility, that would mean 3 people could be served instead of 1, plus it would bring jobs to Virginia. Senator Ruff wondered if the training centers that are being closed across Virginia would be suitable facilities to be turned into something like BrainTree. I don't know if this is an original idea of his or if that has already been circulating, but it sounds good to me.  

I am not a political person, and I have no idea what may come of this meeting, but Anne was quite excited and God's hand was very evident in several ways. 1. How quickly and easily this meeting was set up. 2. Anne was in Richmond today. 3. Timing - 2 days before Senator Ruff has to have papers filed for the next session. 4. Both gave me names of people to contact who may be of help to our particular situation. 5. Our family friend, Harrison Moody, has contacted Delegate Dance to try to set up a meeting. 6. My uncle, Wendell, wrote his delegate. Anne knows her, so the circle is connecting.

I asked Senator Ruff if having family and friends write letters would help heighten TBI needs and action or just be annoying. He said if the delegate or senator is already supportive, then it doesn't really help to bombard that office. What is helpful is to try to get constituents across the state to contact their delegate and senator so that the entire state is hearing the same message, not just one or two districts. So, I believe Senator Ruff has received the message and will do what he can to promote action on behalf of TBI survivors.  For those of you living in other parts of the state, I would appreciate it if you could write a letter to your legislators. We are particularly asking for funding for services for TBI survivors, inclusion in a Universal Waiver that is not restricted by age, and development of facilities within the state to handle those with multiple issues and particularly (for folks like us) neuro-behavioral issues.

After the meeting, I decided to go see a movie. Hit it just right for the one movie that looked good to me (God again!). I arrived at 1:50 and the movie started at 2:10. It was a wonderful Christmas movie called The Christmas Candle based on a book by Max Lucado. I thoroughly enjoyed it. If you get a chance, go see it. 

Thank you for praying!

The Peace of God

Philippians 4:7 (ESV)

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful. I'll hit the major points.

• After receiving information from NeuroRestorative, the nursing home in South Boston, VA called to say that they were not equipped to handle Mike.
• NeuroRestorative (NR) believes our only option is a state hospital on a TDO (temporary detention order), which in this case means he is a danger to himself or others, because otherwise, state hospitals say they do not handle TBI survivors. This can only be done through the CSB (community service board) in his home area and as long as he is in a facility that can handle him, the CSB will not step in.
• That would mean Mike will come home and if we have a threatening situation, then we take him to an emergency room, and hope the CSB will refer him to the state hospital rather than just give him a shot and send him home (which was done twice previously). I don't really want Mike to go to a Psych facility, as the more he is confined, the worse he is; however, I also know I am not equipped to handle him.
• The only other possible option is to contact the over 200 facilities in Virginia, be turned down by the majority of them, have Mike on Medicaid, and then he could possibly be sent to BrainTree in Massachusetts. Virginia Medicaid has an agreement with BrainTree and there are several Virginia TBI survivors there now. This facility is experienced and equipped to handle all areas of Mike's care, plus they have a more progressive treatment plan for TBI survivors than NR. Virginia does not have any facilities like this. While this would make it difficult for me to see Mike, it may be the best possible place for him at this time. I have started typing the address labels for the 200+ facilities and Lisa at NR is mailing me the information she sent to the other nursing homes.
• One ray of hope in these past 2 weeks was a very extensive e-mail from the mother of a TBI survivor who shared her experience and knowledge from the past 12 years of her son's recovery. Her informative and encouraging e-mail is more valuable to me than anything I've heard or read over the past 19 months. Her son also has diffuse axonal injury, but the brain has continued to heal and try to be "efficient" despite severe frontal lobe damage and shrinkage. She said if she told her son about Mike's current condition, he would shake his head and say "early days". Her main advice to me was not to think in terms of long-term placement. Not to settle for the way things are now and never give up hope. 
• Brain Injury is so extremely slow, it is like no recovery that we have ever been familiar with in the past. Yet, there is still hope that Mike will get past this phase and become calmer and able to be at home, productive, and part of the family again.
• Dealing with Medicaid, NC Retirement System, learning about trust funds, and talking with various organizations and people, I learned that I didn't know what in the world I was doing! I have contacted the lawyer again to help me sort all of this out. She is reviewing what I have done, and I hope to hear from her tomorrow or Wednesday to know if she can help me.
• Some things happen very fast. I e-mailed our state senator, Frank Ruff, and will meet him face-to-face tomorrow, Tuesday, December 3 at noon to tell him the barriers we have faced in finding the right care for Mike in Virginia. I also invited Anne, the Executive Director of BIAV (Brain Injury Association of Virginia) to join us. I can share our personal story and Anne can speak more about what legislation is needed. Please pray about this meeting. I am going to ask Senator Ruff what would be the best way to get the attention of the state in this matter and will let you know what you can do after our meeting.  My brother-in-law, Ed, has drafted a template of a letter that can be personalized and sent to the various state legislators. If Senator Ruff thinks this is the best way, I'll post the template on here.
• Over the weekend, various family members fasted and prayed for our situation. This passage from Isaiah stood out to me. Isaiah 5:19 "Woe....to those who say, "Let God hurry, let him hasten his work so we may see it. let it approach, let the plan of the Holy One of Israel come, so we may know it." I have definitely asked God to hurry up, but that is not His way. On the same day, this insight from Luke 10:41,42 by Elizabeth Burkhart met me: "do not become so involved in details, so tied up in planning for the future that you forget to live today. only one thing is necessary, I am present here, now..."  Stay focused on God and praise Him continually.
•  I also thank God that He prompted Keegan and Amy to come for the weekend. It was such a joy to spend time with them. We talked, prayed, watched football and played games together. They were just what I needed to get my mind off of all of the above. 
• Another true God-incident....A friend of my cousin, sent me a small, yet powerful book called The Cycle of Victorious Living by Earl and Hazel Lee. Such perfect insight for this crucial time in our situation. Don't fret. Do commit, trust, delight and rest in the Lord. The Lee's quote Oswald Chambers as saying "All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God."  Eph. 3:20-21 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory." "Use the power God has given you to do something about the situation that could cause you to fret." "Fret is often removed not by praying but by doing." I also liked what they said about "Commit-Hands Down". It is a great visual of releasing our hold by turning our palms down instead of up. Palms up, the object has to be taken from our hands and can leave traces of the object on our hands. Turning the palms down indicates truly releasing the object or situation totally to God's control. Delighting and rejoicing in the Lord is essential. Praising Him for who He is, not what He does.
• Today, I have had the greatest peace, joy, and lightness of Spirit. Something I have not had for quite some time. I believe the fervent prayers and fasting of our families, have truly lifted the heavy burden of stress I was carrying last week. A couple of times today, I felt the joy of Jesus bubbling up inside of me like a fountain about to overflow. Very unexpected and surpassing understanding - a joy and peace that can only come from the Lord. Our situation has not changed, but a battle was waged this weekend against the powers of darkness on our behalf and I am reaping the harvest of joy for which Christ won the victory long ago.  All praise to our Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus, and Holy Spirit! Philippians 4:6-7 from The Message sums it all up beautifully:

Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG)

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Amen! and Amen!