Our Christmas Story and Beyond

The time with Mike over Christmas was so great that I felt like Mary when she said “My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in Christ my Savior.” The Ohio Rices (Mike’s Mom, brother, Mark, and his wife, Jenney and their 2 children, Maggie & Sam) met me at NeuroRestorative just after lunch on Christmas Eve. Mark drove our car, with Mike and me in the back, to the Residence Inn in Roanoke. Mike did great on the drive and when we arrived at the hotel, we waited in the car while Mark went to see if we could check in early. I told Mike that during our time together he needed to let us know if he was tired or we were too loud, etc. As we sat there, he closed his eyes and I asked him if he was alright. He said “I’m praying, leave me alone!”  Guess he got the message. J

Keegan and Amy arrived shortly after all of us. Mike was anxious to go exercise, so Keegan and Mark took him to the exercise room. They were both amazed. Said Mike used the elliptical machine for about 35 minutes and then did 10 push-ups and 50 sit-ups. Keegan said he looked like the “old” pre-accident papa. He came back to the room and showered and then we all went to a Christmas Eve service at a local church. Mike enjoyed singing the Christmas hymns and even commented that he had not been to a church since going to the “center” (that’s what he calls NeuroRestorative).  After the service, he got stuck saying “Merry Christmas” for a while, but had been so “normal” all afternoon, so we were very thankful. Also, it was time for supper, so he was probably hungry.  We headed right to Pizza Hut and he was very anxious to have a salad. Thankfully, they have a salad bar, so I was able to get him a salad right away, and he settled down quickly and ate. He even ate carefully and did not gorge the food.  When we were leaving, I said “brrr, it’s cold” and Jenney commented that it was refreshing. Mike said “Are you kidding? It’s cold!” So normal! We were all thrilled!

Mike also prayed for several of our meals and prayed before we opened gifts on Christmas day, he became teary-eyed as he expressed thanks for being with his family. He did so many things on his own initiative, which is huge for TBI survivors and can be a long time coming. The Lord is really answering prayers and the doctors seem to have found a good combination of medication right now. We enjoyed the rest of our time together talking, playing games, eating, walking, etc.  Mike didn’t talk a whole lot, but when he did, it was appropriate to the conversations going on around him.  He also took care of his personal needs, mainly by himself, which is another huge praise. 

The first night we could tell he was starting to get tired and so all quit and went to bed about 10pm. The second night, we were having fun playing games and although it seemed he was getting tired, he did not want to stop so we continued.  By the end of the game, we could tell it had been too much, he became perseverative and could not focus to brush his teeth, etc. I just helped him change his clothes and he collapsed into bed. He immediately became quiet and still.  In about 15 minutes, he got up took care of his personal care and then went back to bed.  He just needed a few quiet moments to calm down and get refocused. This is how it went the entire time together. If he became hungry, tired, or overstimulated, once he ate, rested or the activity was changed, then he was fine. We did not have any aggressive episodes!!!! Woo Hoo! Thank you, Jesus!!!

Our Christmas dinner was a fully prepared meal from Kroger!  It sure was easy just to warm it up on Christmas day. Mark had the hardest job carving the turkey with a small knife, but we enjoyed the meal with little preparation or fuss. December 26 we all enjoyed breakfast together in the hotel and then the Ohio Rices headed home. (BTW – It’s the first time I’ve ever stayed at a Residence Inn. I don’t know about other ones but this one in Roanoke is the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in and the staff was terrific. It truly was a home away from home. Thank you, Mark & Jenney, for making all of the arrangements!) After breakfast, we packed Mike’s things and headed back to NeuroRestorative. It was hard to take him back when he was doing so well, but we knew it was only for a few more weeks. This was hard for him to understand. I told him to be strong, be a witness for Christ to the staff there, and then he’d be coming home soon. He kept saying “How do you know?” He did become more anxious as we drove and once we were back there, but he did not beg to come with us or make it too difficult.  I’ve talked with him many times since Christmas and usually we have a good conversation. He is still very impatient and can become anxious quickly, but I hold great hope that some of that will calm down once he’s with family.

Please be praying that he will start to become aware of his limitations and the fact that he cannot return to teaching. This is a difficult thing for TBI survivors and can take years for them to realize that they are not the same. Inwardly he still feels like the same person and believes he can do all that he used to be able to do.  When he has the anxious/perseverative times, he is unaware of them and doesn’t believe me or others when we tell him how he behaves.  So, I think the whole “work” issue will probably still be an issue once he comes home. I’m trying to prepare him for coming “home” and what to expect, but he continues to talk about going to work or working here on the farm. Hopefully he’ll be content to work with me feeding calves and cleaning out the calf barn, yard and house work, plus mental stimulation.  I’ve pulled out my algebra and anatomy books from my brief stint at college a few years ago and thought we could work through some of that, plus Bible studies. 

With the help of Hugh, my sister, Vivian, and Ralph, a farm worker, our stuff was moved into Hugh and Tracey’s house last Friday and Saturday. Mike is coming home Monday, January 13. I’ve made Mike a doctor’s appointment with a neuro-psychologist at VCU/MCV in Richmond. From the lists BIAV gave me, it looked like going through a hospital system would be the best. There would be a team of doctors that already work together and could help me figure out who we need. I’ve also spoken with a home aid agency and am supposed to hear from their RN this week to set up an initial appointment so we can line up personal assistance here. I saw our PCP yesterday due to carpal tunnel in my right hand and anxiety. Got a shot for the hand, and going to try a pill for the anxiety. Today I went to a new chiropractor that I liked very much and also saw my counselor, so hopefully I’ll be in good shape for Mike's return. I've been trying to grow my hair out for what seems like the entire 20 months of our TBI life and yesterday gave up and had it cut. Wow!  It's way short, oh well, it will grow.

My Scripture reading today was in Mark.  Mark 10:43b-45 "Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."  These verses were an encouragement to me, especially when I get tired of this new normal and wish I could just get a job and go back to a "normal" life.  Christ came to serve and give his life for many. I want to follow Christ and serving is one way to do that. May I serve Mike to the best of my ability and continually seek to be more like Jesus. My family is serving us, by providing homes for us to live in and giving up their normal. Family and friends are serving by helping us move, providing financial, emotional, and prayer support. What beautiful examples of Jesus.