Christmas 2020

Christmas 2020 has come and gone. For us it was quite different, but very special in its own way. Knowing that we would not have any extra family here, we planned ahead to make the most of it. Mom and I watched several good movies or Christmas shows. My favorites were "The Nativity Story",  "Christmas with The Chosen" and "The Christmas Oranges". I planned a simple and easy meal, did very little baking and stuffed both Mom's stocking and my own 😄. (Stockings have always been one of my favorite things!) My brother, Hugh, came in and stayed for an hour or so while we opened gifts and one by one he got our sisters on FaceTime so we could say Merry Christmas and see what they were doing. Mike's sister, Lynn, had scheduled a Zoom "meeting" for the Rice side of the family, so after breakfast I enjoyed seeing them and my mom-in-law and catching up on their lives.

Earlier in the morning I had videoed with Keegan's family and enjoyed being part of their morning celebration of reading and acting out Luke 2 and opening some of their gifts. I plan to go to NC later in January to have my Christmas with the grand-girls. On Christmas Eve I enjoyed videoing with Caleb's family as Watson celebrated his 6th birthday. I am super thankful for technology right now. It makes the distance seem smaller. 

On the Tuesday before Christmas I went to see Mike. We still have to visit through-the-door and it is not very satisfying; honestly, I'd rather see him through the phone - at least he seems to be more attentive that way. As they were wheeling him to the door, he was taking off his mask. They put a microphone on the outside door handle and ran the wire between the double doors and put the earpiece in Mike's ear. He took it out almost immediately. He ommed and rocked gently back and forth in his wheelchair the entire time and after about 5-10 minutes of trying to talk with him or tell him things about the children or grands, I didn't know if he could even hear me, felt discouraged and sad and left. He shows no signs of understanding, or that he is listening, or seeing me - nothing, no recognition or change from the omming and rocking. I can't touch him or do anything for him and he cannot interact with me. It is so sad.

I didn't know it then, but he was tested for COVID-19 that day. On Christmas Eve afternoon, I received a call from the director that Mike had tested positive along with 17 other residents. That's a huge jump after going almost 9 months and only having 4 residents and 10 staff test positive in all that time. Most of the 18 current cases are asymptomatic. Seems strange, but I guess it is a strange virus. Mike has some congestion and I spoke with a nurse this afternoon and that's still all he has and it is not getting any worse. He is prone to chest congestion anyway, so evidently he doesn't seem any different from his usual lung issues so far. They did have to make a "hot" unit and moved all the Covid positive residents to one hall so Mike is there. If he gets worse, they will do what they can to make him comfortable, but we've already agreed there would be no extreme measures taken. Mike loves Jesus and in his current state, it would be a blessing for him to go to his heavenly home, but only God knows when that will be. He has certainly survived so much in the past 8 years and 7 months. 

My Mom is in a slow decline of mind and body. The Parkinson's takes a bit more of her every week, it seems. One of the blessings of a different Christmas is that my sisters have come at different times. It really has been sweet to have time with each of them and especially nice for Mom since I think when we're all together it is a bit chaotic and loud, plus hard to really visit individually. (Mostly because we are so busy either cooking or cleaning up from eating!) Having them here gives me a break from the 24/7 caregiving and I enjoy spending time and talking with them. 

Christmas Eve was a very rainy day, but Mom really wanted to go to the Christmas Eve Candlelight service which surprised me, but was wonderful because I really wanted to go too. Hugh picked us up and the Lord blessed us by holding off the rain as we got Mom into the car and out of the car both going and coming. It was a very small gathering, but a beautiful service at our sister church, Rocky Hill. What a blessing to do something that felt normal although we wore masks and couldn't hug anyone. The church was so pretty in the candlelight with the nativity scene, tree, and bright poinsettias. 

I actually sat down Christmas Eve and spent probably an hour writing a post, but it was not coming together and didn't feel right, so I abandoned it and didn't post anything. However, part of what I wrote I do want to share. This Christmas season, more than any other, I determined to focus on Jesus' birth with joy. The temptation to let all that was not going to occur rob this season of joy was not going to be an option. Feeling depressed makes me miserable. That is not why Jesus came. He came to bring joy, light, life and peace. As I set on a path to enjoy this Christmas, God met me at every turn and prepared me for the news of Mike also. 

God with us. Immanuel. That became the theme over and over again. God is with me. God is with Mike. God is with Mom. God is with Mike's Mom. God is with our children and our grands. God came to earth in the form of a baby to be with us. How amazing is that!? Nothing can change the fact that God is with us. God is sufficient. All the rest is great and wonderful, but God is who we need. God sent His son to us, ordinary people, like shepherds. God sees and cares and loves. God with us. Always. Let that sink deep into your soul. 

I hope you had a joyous Christmas celebrating Jesus' birth and will will have a joyous New Year and 2021 remembering that God is with us no matter what may come.

Matthew 1:23

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,

    and they shall call his name Immanuel”

(which means, God with us).

7 Years Ago

Seven years ago today I became Mike's Guardian and Conservator. It's not usually a day that I remember or take note of, but today was different.

I was eating breakfast and received a call from a Virginia number that I did not recognize. Usually that means a nurse or someone who cares for Mike is calling. Today it was someone from the Commissioner of Accounts office in Richmond. The woman introduced herself and told me that the previous Commissioner had retired and the current one was going through the backlog of reports. Finally! I thought to myself.

For 7 years I have been submitting Conservator Accounting reports to the Commissioner's office and for 7 years have not heard one thing from them. At first I hand-delivered the reports. I mean all of our financial information, bank statements, receipts, etc. were in that packet and I am under a court order to turn these in every year. I am the type of person that takes all of this quite seriously and wants to make sure I do it exactly right. 

The first year I waited a few weeks and then called to see if they needed more information and how much I needed to pay. They assured me they would let me know. I waited a few months and called again. This went on the entire year. I'm sure I was driving the receptionist crazy. The next year I hand delivered it again and was told they were still behind, but I would get a call. I didn't call as much that year. The third and fourth year I still hand delivered, but I gave up calling. The remaining years I mailed the packet with a tracking number. The last two years my accountant has included a self-addressed return envelope and a letter that all they needed to do was sign and return saying they received the accounting. The letter was never returned. 

It was quite a pleasant surprise to get the phone call this morning and best of all the new Commissioner has gone through all of the reports and was ready to approve all 7 of them, but she needed to see a copy of Mike's most recent letter from the Department of Social Services before she could do so. Praise God! Hallelujah! Her assistant also told me that they do everything digitally, whereas the previous Commissioner did everything "with cards", so it is easy for them to keep track of all of the reports and documents and find what they need. Once they receive this last piece of information, they will give me a call and I can come over to pick up 7 years worth of bank statements and receipts, etc. and pay 7 years worth of fees. That might be a 7 year ouch!

It never dawned on me that it was exactly 7 years to the day until I was typing the cover letter to the Commissioner and went to save it under a file on my computer. After saving the document, I scrolled through some of the other files and one caught my eye. "Guardianship Night" I opened the file and there was the post that I wrote the night I became Mike's guardian, September 18, 2013. It was a rather long one as I recounted the day of Mike's accident; however, at 17 months post-accident God was stretching me and teaching me and today I needed to be reminded of some of those truths. It's easy to forget that Mike didn't recognize me even back then, that he was not getting better, that I could not and cannot change him in any way at all. God was and is the one in control. 

As the day moved on, I re-read the post again and had a sense that these truths were not for me alone today. With the world in such a chaotic state, maybe these truths were brought back in order to be shared with you also. So I share the link to this post from 2013 and hope it will encourage, or maybe challenge, someone else who reads this too. https://onlyadventures.blogspot.com/2013/10/letting-go-of-controlagain.html

God truly does work in mysterious ways and I believe He did so today. These were God-incidences today, not coincidences. Getting the call on "the" day, running across my very thoughts from "that" day exactly 7 years later. It also re-energized me about sharing our story via book form and changed the way I had started the book months ago. When I re-read my beginning, it sounded contrived and not like my writing in the above post. I want to be genuine and real in the book as I have been on this blog. I would appreciate your prayers that I would carve out the time to actively work on getting this book written. There are so many distractions and always something to do that seems to take priority or I simply don't make the time.

Mike continues much the same. The nurse and I have not connected this week to video chat, but hope to do that tomorrow. The last time we videoed, Mike studied his left arm the entire time and grabbed it with his right hand. He was not omming, but totally obsorbed in looking at his arm. I spoke with the night nurse a couple of nights ago and he was sleeping peacefully. She said he had talked randomly before going to bed and it was good to hear him saying words which is rare. They have had 5 staff and 3 residents to test positive for Covid-19 since the beginning of May. Only 1 is active now and there have been no deaths due to the virus. Much to be thankful for.

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

Happy 64th, Mike

Today is Mike's birthday. Today Mike turned 64. Today I visited Mike through the door and he barely looked up. I took him a milkshake, but he wasn't awake enough to even try it. It was a sad sort of birthday.

Thankfully, my friend Nancy went with me which helped to keep the blues away. We drove 75 minutes, handed off his card, new socks, and milkshake, looked at him through the door for a few minutes, spoke with the nurse practitioner (or is she a PA?) and left. Mike was very quiet today so they are keeping an eye on him. That was it. There's not much to say. 

Yet, a sweet moment occurred when a precious woman rolled down the hall in her wheelchair, rolled right beside Mike and gently asked "Aren't you going to wake up? Look." We exchanged glances through the door, she tried a couple more times, and I mouthed "Thank you. It's OK." Nancy and I waved and smiled at her and turned to leave. That little exchange made the entire visit better. The kindness of a stranger trying to help us have a little connection with a door in-between us. 

On my other blog www.reflectionsbythepond.com I am sharing thoughts from Philippians 4. Currently I am working on one about rejoicing always. Today I didn't feel much like rejoicing and I don't think Paul meant that I should rejoice that my husband is confined to a wheelchair and can't talk to me, but that there is always a reason for a Christian to rejoice in the Lord. It's a conscience decision, a shift in focus. I can rejoice because I know that God has a purpose for this and I know I can trust Him, I can rejoice that I am a child of God, I can rejoice that Mike's and my names are written in the Book of Life, I can rejoice knowing that this life is temporary, I can rejoice that God provided my friend, Nancy, to be with me today and ease the sadness, I can rejoice that Mike is so well taken care of, I can rejoice and remember how God made a way to get Mike into that facility. In the midst of rejoicing and giving thanks, it moves my focus from the sad to the blessings and, in that shift, the heaviness and sadness fall away and are replaced with gratitude and joy. It is not a giddy joy, it is a deep inner joy and peace. A lingering ache remains, because I am human and it does hurt, but it is not debilitating. 

Philippians 4:4

"Rejoice in the Lord always. 

I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Happy Birthday, Mike.

I Love you.

COVID-19

Hello dear friends,

The facility Mike is in now has 2 cases of Coronavirus. They had done so well until last week when one of their employees tested positive. Then this past week one of the residents also tested positive. The staff member did not work with Mike and the resident lived on a different hall from Mike. Both are no longer at the facility, but are either at home or in a hospital hopefully regaining their health. The facility continues to strictly follow the CDC guidelines, as well as, those of the area hospital. The residents have been isolated to their rooms throughout the pandemic and no visitors allowed inside the building. 

It was to be expected that this virus would find it's way there also. I was thankfully amazed at how long they were able to keep it away, especially when there are over 80 staff members coming and going throughout the week. 

I visited with Mike via video again this week. He looked good and was eating breakfast. A couple of weeks ago he was not eating well, but his appetite seems to have returned to normal. There was no apparent physical reason for the reduced appetite. The isolation is being hard on all of the residents and it appears there is a general decline in their overall well-being. We are all social creatures to one degree or another. Residents of skilled nursing facilities are already removed from their homes and families and this added shut-down and isolation has made it even harder on them. Please keep Mike and the other residents in your prayers. 

In all of this turmoil in our world, we look to the Scriptures for our guidance and encouragement. I have focused in on Philippians 4 lately and will be sharing more on my other blog, (https://www.reflectionsbythepond.com/) but God's word tells us to "rejoice always...the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything".  We are to pray about every situation with thankfulness and God's peace, that surpasses what we can understand, will be with us. His peace is real, soul-deep peace that lasts and cannot be taken away by outer circumstances. We must fix our minds on Him for He alone can guard our hearts and minds.

Philippians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always.

I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Through the Door

Through the door.

Two weeks ago, I drove to Appomattox to "visit" Mike for the first time since early March. The staff have been so wonderful and I wanted to take them quarts of ice cream as a "thank you" and see Mike while one of my sisters was with Mom. One of the administrative staff members met me at my car and took the ice cream inside while I walked around to the deck so that I could see Mike in person for the first time in over 3 months. I stood on the outside of the door and Mike was wheeled to the inside of the door. He would not look up to see me and so the CNA went to ask another CNA to come and help get him standing. Meanwhile the Speech Therapist and the administrator, who had taken the ice cream in, were continually trying to get him to look up and I was talking to him through the door. It wasn't working.

The iron grip.

Once the others returned, they wrangled Mike out of the wheelchair and tried to tilt his head up, but whenever you try to make Mike do something, he does the opposite and I told them it felt like we were torturing him! There's Mike being held up by two women and another one trying to get his chin up all while Mike is resisting, omming, in a squat position and clinging to the door handle with all of his might. The whole scene was becoming emotional for me on the other side of the door, so I asked them to let him sit back down. When they tried, he would not let go of the door bar and then it became comical with four of them trying to pry his fingers loose first from the door and then from their arm or hand all while he was still in a squat type stance. It is amazing how strong his grip is. Once he was successfully back in his wheelchair, they cracked the door open and asked me to talk to him. Finally, he looked up at me, but if there is any recognition of who I am, I cannot tell. They seem to think he acts differently when he hears my voice. It comes across as more agitated to me, so maybe there is some understanding or memory there and he's just not able to express it in any other way. He did seem to lock his eyes on me once he saw me.

Honestly, he seems to pay more attention to me when we video-chat than he did when I was able to go inside and be with him or through the door. Maybe being on the phone helps to block out other distractions and noise. The same day I visited, everyone at the facility and all the staff were being tested for the coronavirus. Praise God! the results came back this week and all residents and staff tested negative for the virus! What great news!                                                                        These past months have been busy for me. The weather was so beautiful and cool this Spring which was wonderful for weeding all the flower gardens, plus planting flowers and a few vegetables. Things have been fairly normal around here with my bookkeeping job and taking care of Mom and the house. I tried to limit the number of trips to the grocery store, but still took deposits to the bank and mail to the Post Office. At first, I was thankful for a break from driving to Appomattox, but now I miss getting to see Mike and do little things for him. I miss the ladies Bible study that met on Tuesdays, and I miss "normal" church, especially the singing and our fellowship suppers. I'm thankful we can meet together again, but it's so weird with everyone wearing masks, no singing, no hugs, no breaking bread together. I knew I tended to read lips as people talked, but I have really noticed it now that I can't see people's lips. I have to concentrate a lot more on what I'm hearing without that visual aid.

Last week, I had the distinct blessing of spending the entire week at the beach with my youngest son's family and in-laws. We all stayed in a house and only went back and forth to the beach where everyone was practicing social distancing and the beach was not crowded. We picked up some delicious seafood one night, but otherwise ate at home. The highlight for me was playing with my grandchildren in the ocean and on the sand every day and playing games with the adults at night. The weather was gorgeous and we only received rain in the afternoon or evenings. It was a wonderful vacation! I couldn't help but think how much Mike would have enjoyed being at the beach and playing with his granddaughters. The beach was his favorite place to be and he was like a fish in the water. How I would love for him to be able to go to a beach again. My oldest son's family couldn't join us because they have returned to Arizona. Unfortunately for us, things didn't work out in North Carolina, but fortunately for them Caleb's job in AZ was still open and his co-workers were glad to get him back. It was a whirlwind few months for them, plus driving back to AZ at the beginning of the pandemic with a baby almost due, but God really provided for them all along the way.  My 6th grand-baby, a beautiful, healthy girl, arrived safely in April and they are happily getting settled in their home now. While it was a surprise that they were returning, there is peace that they are where they are supposed to be.

I shared previously that I needed to have my diamond ring and wedding band resized and I was able to do that a few weeks ago. It feels good to have those visual reminders, of the promise I made to Mike, back where they belong and to know that small businesses were able to re-open. Our local jeweler did such a good job and had my rings so shiny that they looked like new. 

A few years ago, I went to a Renaissance Festival in Charlotte with Keegan's family and I bought a small copper ring from one of the vendors. At the spot where it is soldered together, it looks like a little heart. I wear it on my right hand as a visual reminder that my heart belongs to Christ and that what I say and do needs to be glorifying to Him. I am not my own, I have been bought with a price. 

I Corinthians 6:19 & 20

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

These are very unsettling times, but as believers in Jesus, God's son, we have the assurance that He has already won the battle over sickness, death, sin, and evil. He is victorious and we are His - what do we have to fear? Nothing here on earth will last forever, only through Jesus Christ is there life eternal. That is the message that is needed in a fearful, uncertain, and dying world. Nothing is promised here. Jesus promises that when we admit that we sin and believe that He died on the cross to pay the penalty required by God, the Father, then we will spend eternity with Him. That is solid truth and will not change, unlike the world we know. 

John 1:12

"But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I find visual reminders helpful, especially during difficult times or times of temptation. My rings are scanned by my eyes often every day and remind me of God's faithfulness to me and how I need to be faithful to Him and to my husband. Tonight I am reminded that there are those who do not know or understand what Jesus has done and I need to be more vocal. This is not news to be kept to myself. This is news with eternal consequences. I am mentally adding this reminder to the significance of my rings. 

Do you have a visual reminder?

Our 36th

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Everyone!

Thirty-six years ago today, in the little country church where I went as a child and where I am a member again now, I said my "till death us do part" vows to Michael Collins Rice. We both favored the color green and in 1984 St. Patrick's Day fell on the Saturday of my spring break from Southside Community College. It was a perfectly beautiful March day with many family and friends gathered around us to witness our wedding vows and our love for each other. 

Today was also a perfectly beautiful March day with temperatures probably very similar to that day 36 years ago. But today I could not be with my hubby. All the nursing homes are locked down and not allowing any visitors due to the Coronavirus. Not that he knows the day or me, as far as I can tell. 

Yet God, my gracious Heavenly Father is a giver of good gifts and gave me a nugget of joy today. I called and asked Mike's nurse if she would put the phone to his ear so that I could wish him a Happy Anniversary and tell him I loved him. Right away she asked if I had an Android phone with Duo on it. Yes! She gave me her personal cell phone # and told me to video call on that and she'd let me see Mike and him see me. What a precious gift that was to me! Mike was in his usual spot, sitting in the hall in his wheelchair, but he did not "omm" the entire time I talked with him. He was looking at the cell phone screen, rubbing his head and looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing ever came out. He's a little congested and his eyes were red, but overall he looked good.

That's why I like where Mike is so much. The staff is so caring and kind. The nurse told me to feel free to use her number to video chat with Mike whenever I wanted. She's there most days. I will not abuse the privilege, but I appreciate her thoughtfulness and willingness. It made my day.

I praise God that He has given me the desire and ability to remain faithful to the vows Mike and I spoke to one another on March 17, 1984. It has not always been easy - bringing 2 very different people to live together "till death us do part" takes a lot of work, some compromise, sacrifice and at times learning to agree to disagree, plus being able to forgive and ask for forgiveness. We had all of that, plus laughter, crazy adventures, two terrific sons, many moves, and a love for God that continually drew us to each other even when we really didn't want to stick it out. We said our vows before God and many witnesses and we did not want to break our promise to each other and more importantly to God. God is so faithful and here we are 36 years later still married. Praise be to God!

I'll leave you with some photos of our wedding day and one of our favorite Bible verses. 

Colossians 1:10-14

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord

and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work,

growing in the knowledge of God, 

being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might

 so that you may have great endurance and patience, 

and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, 

who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints

 in the kingdom of light. 

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness

 and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 

in whom we have redemption, 

the forgiveness of sins.

Happy Anniversary to us!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you!

Surgery Update

It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 weeks since my surgery. Thank you so much for the prayers, texts, emails, calls, cards, food and visits. Overall, I believe I've done quite well. 

Before surgery with my
bair hugger warmer gown.

Two of my sisters, Gayle and Carol, came in on Tuesday, February 18. Carol came to be with Mom and Gayle came to take me to the hospital and stay with me there. Our appointment time was 5:30 a.m. on Wednesday, the 19th, so we left here about 4:15 a.m. and were the first ones in the surgical center waiting room. We had barely sat down when a nurse came to get us. After getting me ready, I was wheeled out for surgery at 7:30. Everyone at Johnston Willis Surgical Center and later at the hospital were really wonderful - from the receptionist to the nurses, CNAs, doctors, food service, housekeeping, financial rep. and med techs. Each one was professional, courteous, kind and caring. 

Surgery went well and I was done by 11:30 a.m. or so. They kept me on oxygen for a while and my mouth was extremely dry, so I kept drinking a lot of water. Gayle was a wonderful caregiver, keeping my water cup full and ordering food. I didn't have much of an appetite, but ate a few bites. Most of Wednesday afternoon and evening are a fog to me. Their main goal for me that day was to rest and control nausea. Other than having my children, I think it's the first time I've stayed overnight as the patient.  It was the quietest wing of a hospital I've ever been on and Gayle and I actually got some sleep. No loud beeping and whirring machines and alarms going off like I was used to with Mike.

The goal the next day was to walk and successfully use the bathroom. Praise God, I did not have to come home with a catheter! I was easily able to walk also. It was the getting in and out of bed that hurt. We were discharged about 11:30 and on our way home. I was sent home on 3 medications, but I am sensitive to medicine and my stomach was not tolerating these very well. I kept weaning out medicine until on Tuesday I was not taking anything and began to feel much better. The pain has never been bad except when I cough or sneeze, the upset stomach from the medicine was the worst of it!

I've been able to walk every day at least a half mile and yesterday walked over a mile. That might have been a little bit too much as I've been more tired today. I am blessed to have 2 friends, Nancy and Bobbi, who often come and walk with me. My back has done fairly well; although, it has hurt more today. It is hard since I can't do my regular stretches and twists and I'm not sure how to keep it from getting stiff. I will go Thursday for my follow-up appointment and should be able to drive after that, but have really enjoyed the rest of not driving.

I am so grateful to Carol and Gayle for taking the time to come and take care of me and Mom. The first few days it was difficult to put on socks and shoes and they pampered me. My sweet Momma so wanted to do something for me and so she massaged between my shoulders. Carol stayed for a week and cooked lots of food which I am still enjoying. My other sister, Vivian, had come the end of January which helped me to catch up on paperwork and Creamery bookkeeping so that I am not so far behind now. I've been working a little here and there and today was my first day to spend several hours back at work. My brother, Hugh, stopped by this evening to check on me and give me a hug. I am so blessed with my Mom and siblings and thank God for giving them to me. 

I am thankful for the skill of the doctor and nurses, but mostly for God who made our bodies in such an amazing way that they can heal so beautifully after being cut open. He is the master physician and holds all of life in His hands. All praise to our creator and sustainer, Almighty God! Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals.

Deuteronomy 32:39

“See now that I myself am he!

    There is no god besides me.

I put to death and I bring to life,

    I have wounded and I will heal,

    and no one can deliver out of my hand."

A Gift

If I remember correctly, this past Christmas was the first one I have not spent with Mike since we were married in 1984. This year I made the decision to spend it with our children since they are all living in the Charlotte area now and I had not had the privilege of having Christmas with all of them since our guys got married and had children. 

Caleb & Anastasia had just moved into their home mere days before Christmas, but Caleb had his kitchen set up and was ready to cook. Christmas Eve is my grandson's birthday and so we decided to celebrate his birthday and our Christmas together that afternoon and evening. It was so fun to all be together and the food was delicious! Cooking is relaxing to Caleb and NOT cooking is relaxing to me! Of course it was a bit chaotic with 5 children 5 and under, but it was happy chaos.

I stayed with Keegan's family and on Christmas day we took things slow, read the story of Jesus' birth while the girls placed the figures on a flannel wall hanging and mainly ate our way through the day! When Amy's parents and a friend came over, each one brought food! I escaped to Caleb's for a while to stop eating and see what they were up to. It's so great that they are only 15 minutes apart.

On the 26th, I headed back to Virginia via Appomattox to spend time with Mike and God gave me the greatest gift. I gave Mike a large print Bible and after reading to him, I handed him the Bible and he actually seemed to read for a little while. The first time in months that he has done that. It was a precious gift from God.  All combined, this was one of my most favorite Christmases ever!   

Mike read again the next week while I was there and it seemed the medication change was making a difference; however, as we've seen so often in the past, it was not to last. The next week he was quite active and omming and taking the Bible from me. Clipping his fingernails was quite a struggle and anything he got his hands on went to his left leg like he was trying to rub it or scrape it. Last week he was a bit calmer, but back to the constant omming, rocking, not reading or wanting to be touched. I tried to rub his left leg, but he was quite resistant.

Basically we are back to what he was. There are times when he seems calmer, but he becomes more "agitated" or "active" once I speak to him. The doctor says that's a good thing. That he probably recognizes me, but to me it's more distressing. I like seeing him more peaceful. When I asked the CNA (who works with him almost every day) if she had noticed him being calmer in recent weeks, she said "no".  

So we accept things the way they are, trust God that He has a plan, and take one day at a time. God's grace is sufficient for that and has carried us through almost 8 years. One. Day. At. A. Time.

My new morning view

Right after Christmas, the farm hired a young lady to help with the cows and she needed housing, so  I moved out of the farm trailer. With help from family, a painter, and friends we moved out what was in the 2 back bedrooms at my Mom's and fixed it up to be my little suite. We brought my furnishings over so that I now have a space that feels like mine within Mom's house. It's working out well and makes life easier for me. I enjoyed my space at the trailer and basically just moved it over here.

My back is doing ok, I have to be careful not to overdo and often sit with my ice pack at the end of the day and try to always remember to take it with me when I drive. My bladder prolapse surgery is this Wednesday, Feb. 19, and I am more concerned about how my back will do post surgery, when I cannot do my full range of stretches or go to the Chiropractor. I appreciate your prayers and know that God has this under control also. Doctors do what they can, but my life is in God's hands and I know that full well. Whatever may come, God is there.

Psalm 73:26-28

"My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart 

and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish;

you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;

I will tell of all your deeds."