Be Separate!

Isn't it great that we are always learning and there is always more we can learn? Some of the things I've learned this week, in no particular order, are:

It was so great to have Elke here and to get her perspective and reaction to seeing Mike. She had not seen him since the accident, but kept up-to-date via CaringBridge and then this blog.  The situation was harder and he was worse or maybe less coherent than she expected. Face-to-face is worth a thousand words.

ID - Intellectual Disability - definition according to aaidd.org: "...is a disability characterized by significant limitations in both intellectual functioning and in adaptive behavior, which covers many everyday social and practical skills. This disability originates before the age of 18." (obviously, we don't qualify)

MH - Mental Health illness - generally refers to conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc. Brain Injury is not included under these serious medical illnesses. Seems that most of these can be managed with medication and therapy or some type of treatment. That is not always the case with BI and I would assume is not always the case with all of these disorders either, but..??

"The Medicaid home and community based waivers are programs offered to eligible individuals who require assistance with activities of daily living and/or supportive services and would prefer to live in their own home or the community rather than in a facility setting."  Right now Mike is in a "community" type setting, but there are no waivers for BI in Virginia to help with that type of living arrangement. Even the waivers for MH & ID that are available have very long waiting lists, as in years and years.  

Medical advancements are keeping people alive, but there are just not enough resources to provide help and/or residential services for all who need it. We can't expect the government to be able to handle this load completely, but we can have a voice and hope for some change and assistance.

There is a whole community of people struggling along the best they can in an attempt to take care of their loved ones.  I went to a meeting today along with about 100 other people who want our voices heard about what the needs are in our difficult situations. Virginia is beginning the process to revamp the waiver system and so these meetings are being held throughout the state.  

The following is a link to a very sobering, but informative article: residential-treatment-traumatic-brain-injury-victims  Mike may have to go to a nursing home type facility, if we can find one to take him, and it may not be a long-term fix. (You'll understand after you read the above article.)

I really needed my counselor, Tanya, today. To be honest, when I first started seeing her a couple of months ago, I wasn't sure that I really needed counseling and she wasn't sure how to help me either. However, we decided that she would be a safe person for me to talk with and share anything and God knew that the time would come when I really needed her advice and Godly counsel. Today was that day and all the sessions before had given her the background she needed to help me. She made a good point, since I am trusting God to use us in this adventure for His glory, maybe there are unsaved people in various facilities that need to see God's love through Mike and I and our witness of Him. My fear of Mike being moved from pillar to post, can be used of God. Trust Him and be His witness.

God's Word is new every morning. I believe I've wrestled with God lately and was in turmoil. I praise God for a Billy Graham devotional that I get on my phone. Last night it was late when I read it, but it was what I needed - Imagine that! The title was "Standing Firm" - sound familiar? It reminded me that men like Daniel and Moses were tempted or tested by worldly ease, but they refused to forsake their godly heritage. "...history has been replete with the lives of men who have put God and His way of life above all else. Prayer - Help me to stand by faith in You when I am tempted, almighty God."

For the first time last night, I had actually thought it would be so much easier to follow the lawyers advice and divorce Mike, but of course, I would have more turmoil if I did that. So it was a fleeting thought that was quickly dismissed after reading Dr. Graham's devotional. Then this morning I re-read 2 Corinthians 6. Yesterday morning I could not focus on it. This morning it was gold. Here are some of my notes:  Stay strong in salvation, don't be a stumbling block. Show that no matter what, Jesus is more important, God's way is the best even through the long list that Paul writes - hardships, beatings, imprisonment, hard work, sleepless nights, purity, understanding, patience, ........sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. Live life wide open. Not holding back. Don't bind yourself to an unbeliever - you will not be able to agree for "we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them and I will be their God, and they will be my people'." Be separate! Be different from the world! Jesus is crying out for us to do so!