Flashback & Looking Forward

Mike's accident happened 3 years ago today. Since some of you may have never heard or read what happened, I thought I would re-post the first CaringBridge entry describing that day:

The Beginning of this Difficult Adventure (2012)

Wednesday afternoon, April 25, Mike went out to run as is his routine around 4:30pm. Evidently he ran in front of a woman as she was driving down the road and she could not avoid him. He was hit and rolled on the hood of her truck before striking the road. According to the policeman, she did some very quick thinking and turned to the right so that when he fell on the road she did not run over him.

He is in critical condition. The injuries that they know of so far are: badly broken bones below the knee on both legs that were open wounds (the left suffered more soft tissue damage and is of more concern), broken right femur, broken left ribs, collapsed left lung, and there is bleeding on the brain. They believe he will not need brain surgery at this point - the blood should resolve or whatever you call it.  A bolt was put into his head to relieve the pressure and to monitor the pressure. He is intubated and has a chest tube but they are hopeful that he will be able to breath on his own very soon.  Because he is in such great physical condition, they are very hopeful for lots of things but kept telling me they can't guarantee anything, of course. There is the possibility of infection,  especially in his legs.

Last night after they got him stabilized, I was able to quickly go see him before they took him to surgery. He was taken into the OR around 7:30pm by the orthopedic surgeon to try to thoroughly cleanse the open wounds on his lower legs and put external devices on his legs with pins that go through the skin to the bone to set and stabilize the bones as much as possible.  This took approx. 2 hours and Mike came through it well. There are multiple fractures in both lower legs and he had lost a lot of blood.  If all goes well, later they will go in and place rods in his legs. He was put into an ICU room around 11pm and about 12:30pm I was able to go see him. Of course, right now he is in a drug induced coma and they plan to keep him that way for at least a couple of days.

Thanks so much for all the prayers!!  I know prayer warriors have been busy, because I felt such peace and calm throughout the afternoon and evening. Our church family came out in force - you are wonderful West Fay. Baptist!!!  Thank you so much! I'll try to keep you posted. Love you all! Jennifer

Although this difficult adventure continues, you can see that Mike really is a walking miracle in so many ways here in 2015. With the stress of the past few weeks, I went through a dry spell where it seemed God was silent, but sadness and anxiety were very loud. I never doubt that God is with us, but I do question, yell, cry, and ask  "how long?", "what am I supposed to do?", "what can I do?", "why is this dragging on with no solution?".

For some reason, I've been reading several books at one time lately. I never did that in the past, but it seems to work as certain messages come through when I need them. This week, I picked back up a book that I started a couple of months ago "Holding on to Hope" and the chapter I read was perfectly timed. I'm thinking God had something to do with that....what do you think? 

John 9:2&3

 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

The author, Nancy Guthrie, quotes John 9:2-3 and uses insights from Philip Yancey's book "Disappointment with God":

 "Are you asking God why he has allowed you to suffer so much? There is the answer: "so that the work of God might be displayed in [your] life." Instead of continuing to ask, "Why?" would you change your question to, "For what purpose?" She goes on to say that no matter what kind of suffering we are experiencing, our purpose is to "display the glory of God. How do you display the glory of God? You reflect his character. Instead of demanding an answer, you decide to trust him, recognizing that your circumstances provide an unparalleled opportunity to glorify God just by your trust in his unseen purpose. Trusting God when the miracle does not come, when the urgent prayer gets no answer, when there is only darkness--this is the kind of faith God values perhaps most of all. This is the kind of faith that can be developed and displayed only in the midst of difficult circumstances. This is the kind of faith that cannot be shaken because it is the result of having been shaken." 

I believe we should all ask ourselves "for what purpose?" and don't think it matters if we are suffering or just living a "normal" life. As a Christian, we should be allowing God to work in our lives and seek to bring glory and honor to Him in everything we do and say. My focus had turned inward and I was having a one-woman pity party. God wasn't silent, I was the one not listening, but instead was focusing on all the stuff that seems so wrong. 

So on this anniversary of a tragic event in our lives, I want to thank God for how much healing has occurred in Mike's body, thank and praise God for how He has carried us through these 3 years, thank Him for the support and love from our families and friends, trust Him for our future, and give God all the glory for sustaining and strengthening and keeping us one day at a time. Our God is the one and only Awesome & Holy God and I will continue to trust Him and praise Him - God the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit! 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever." 

Transformed

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)

"18 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate (or reflect) the Lord’s glory, 

are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, 

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Tonight was the last night of The Holiness of God by R. C. Sproul Bible Study at our church. What a fantastic study! Our God is not just Holy, He is Holy, Holy, Holy and calls us to be holy as He is holy. I have had increased stress in my life the last few weeks, but tonight God brought much joy, blessing, and peace from the study of His word in the company of others. I was again challenged to pursue holiness with diligence and perseverance. Three key ways to pursue holy living are: 

1. Scripture - reading, meditating, and memorizing the Word of God

2. Prayer - sometimes for many days & with fasting and at other times with a breath

3. Personal choice - God is there, it's my choice to turn to Him or away from Him.

He wants to transform our lives to reflect Jesus and has given us the tools to do it. The choice is ours. Our Holy, Holy, Holy God is worthy of our all. He gives joy that no-thing can take away. It's even hard for me to understand the lightness and inner peace that I feel right now, because from a worldly perspective it makes no sense due to my circumstances. I'm thankful I don't have to understand it, but get to experience it just the same. I hope it is true for you also.

Isaiah 6:3

"And they were calling to one another: 

'Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;

the whole earth is full of His glory.'"

Christ Is Risen Indeed!

Matthew 28:6a

"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."

We had a wonderful Easter! How about you? Absolutely no problems whatsoever. With Hugh as chauffeur, we picked Mike up, stopped at home so he could change into "church" clothes then enjoyed the Resurrection day service with our Grace UMC family. When the service was over, Mike made a beeline out the door and to the car. I asked if he was in a hurry and he said "No, I don't remember people's names."

Mike read the paper while Mom and I fixed dinner. He was mostly quiet unless he wanted something or was asked a question. After stuffing ourselves at dinner, we took a short walk then made phone calls to our boys and Mike's family. He was able to talk to just about everyone. Just before talking with Caleb, I had told him we would need to leave soon to go back to CSH. After he talked with Caleb for a few minutes, he handed me the phone, said "You talk to him." and proceeded out the door to the car. Sorry Caleb - short conversation, but I praise God there were no issues at all! 

I really hope we can get him into a less-restrictive home/facility soon. He just seemed really good to me today. A little slow, but calm and mostly clear cognitively. He started out with the "no, no, no" but it soon stopped after getting in the car and never reappeared the rest of the time together. He told me that he was reading a book about anger and he was sorry he had hit me. Wow! He remembers! I don't know if he remembers the incident or remembers being told what happened. Either way, that was good. He spoke out loud a couple of times in church which was fine, then for a while he gently rocked back and forth and either rubbed his head or eyes - maybe just sleepy and trying to stay awake. A couple of weeks ago, I had bought him a couple more pair of gym pants, but he was adamant that he was not taking them to the "center" cause they would just disappear. (I've rarely ever seen him in pants that I've taken to CSH, so I quit taking clothes down there.) He did let me pack him some shorts and t-shirts to take. It was a really great time with Mike and I am greatly encouraged. I am so thankful for your thoughts and prayers. They were answered.

I want to give a shout-out to my brother, Hugh. Hugh works long, hard, and many days on the farm, has always been a great, big brother to me, put up with me as a kid and even let me tag along on a date with him & Tracey every now and then. He doesn't complain, isn't showy, just goes about doing whatever he can for whomever he can in his quiet way. When I called Hugh to say I wanted to bring Mike home for Easter and was looking for someone, preferably a guy to go with me, he never hesitated and immediately said "You've found your man." I always enjoy spending time with him so that was an added bonus today. Thank you, Hugh. I love you.

Day Pass

It has been a stressful week. I will fill you in on that another day. Suffice it to say, I have felt like that "almost crushed" automobile. (See yesterday's blog post.) On a brighter note, I really wanted Mike to be able to be with us for Easter, so earlier this week I requested a day pass from CSH. It was granted and Hugh and I will pick Mike up around 9:00 AM and have him returned by 4:30 PM.

I covet your prayers that it will be a pleasant and joyous time together. This will be the first time he has come back to the farm since that rough day in August 2014. I'm not concerned about the coming, it's the leaving to go back to CSH that could get messy. However, I'm going to hope for the best and try to make his day a great one.

Happy Resurrection Day tomorrow, everyone!

Don't forget Good Friday

"We may feel like junked automobiles in a metal compactor, 

but Christ stands as a shield to prevent the pressure that comes upon us 
from crushing us entirely. To suffer without Christ is to risk being
totally and completely crushed."

"Our Savior was a suffering Savior. He went before us into the uncharted land of agony and death. He went where no man is called to go. His Father gave Him a cup to drink that 
will never touch our lips. God will not ask us to endure anything comparable 
to the distress Christ took on Himself. Wherever God calls us to go, 

whatever He summons us to endure, will fall far short of what Jesus experienced."

R.C. Sproul - Surprised by Suffering

Jesus was crushed on Good Friday, so that you and I will not be crushed by the pressures bearing down on us. He is our shield of protection. Palm Sunday and Easter are exciting, joyful, beautiful times, but we must not forget the horrific, bloody, painful scene of Good Friday. Easter has no meaning, if Good Friday never happened. 

Dr. Charles Stanley reminds us of Jesus' great sacrifice:

"The Israelites had the continual reminder of the cost of sin. But today, having never experienced the slaughter of thousands of animals, we often take our salvation lightly, not realizing what it required. The flogging and crucifixion of Christ was a bloody, messy scene. The horror of it should move us to tears of sorrow and gratitude for what He did to buy our salvation. Without the shedding of His blood, we’d be bound for hell and eternal separation from God."

If you have not repented of the wrong in your life and believed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, God's perfect lamb and only Son, do it today. Then you will experience the true joy, victory and triumph of Easter as you come under His forgiveness and covering. 

I Peter 2:24

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed."

A visit with Mike

Hi, everyone, 

At Jennifer's request, Vivian and I (two of Jennifer's sisters), are writing a guest blog after visiting with Mike yesterday afternoon.  Jennifer had done a great job of preparing us, so we took food, which she said is an ice-breaker in any case, and especially helpful if Mike is uncertain of who you are or has otherwise decided he might not be interested in visiting with you! We had cookies Mom had made, yogurt, and juice, which he promptly sat down and ate.  After that, we played UNO, with Mike telling us the rules (and sometimes ignoring them when it was to his advantage!  :>))   By the time the game was over, it was time for dinner, so we left.  

Mike was very calm, and asked Mom how her day had been soon after we got there.  He was very quiet, answering questions, but mostly concentrating on the card game.  As we were preparing to leave, he asked if he could give us all a hug, and asked Mom to tell Dad "Hello".   It was a very sweet, touching moment.

Vivian and I had talked about being unsure of what to expect, and a bit nervous about the prospect of visiting Mike without Jennifer along, but the whole visit went well, and we were glad that we went.   Even though we don't know what Mike thought about us being there, it was a chance to let him know we were thinking about him, praying for him, and care for him.  If you get a chance, we'd encourage you to go see him, too! The facility is very easy to find, Jennifer will give you exact directions and ideas as to how to make the visit a smooth, enjoyable one. It is also a short trip from Blackstone.  It means a lot to Mike and Jennifer to be remembered, and you will receive a blessing!

Pause, Storm, Prayer, Release, Sweetness

I have slept really well the last few nights, but here it is at 1:30 AM and sleep is eluding me so might as well be productive. First, I just have to share a photo of the snow that came down this morning. It was beautiful and then gone, best kind!

Last weekend, I was sick with a cold and although I really didn't feel that bad, just very congested, I stayed fairly confined so as not to share my germs. It actually was a pleasant pause from "Martha-hood" and the "I gottas or I need tos", plus it gave me more time to sit at Jesus' feet, like Mary. The thought even ran through my mind that it might be a calm before a storm. The storm I had in mind was moving Mike and his having to adjust to a new place, new people, and new routine again. I had no idea the storm would be that we are back to no appropriate placement for Mike, pressures regarding finances again from District 19, and the stress of feeling so helpless.

I am forever grateful to all of you who have been praying for so long along with me and who doubled your efforts in the past few days during the, hopefully, worst part of the storm.  With the help of family and friends, I have written, they have edited, and today I mailed a letter to the Governor of Virginia asking for assistance. With the figures I currently have, it would actually save the Commonwealth of Virginia approximately $110,000 if money could be approved for Mike to go to a brain injury specific rehab facility in Virginia Beach compared with staying at CSH.

Tonight, tossing and turning in bed, I was reminded that several months ago a friend said something about millionaires giving away money. So, I grabbed my phone and asked Google about it and several sites came up about asking celebrities and millionaires/billionaires for money and how many of them are looking for causes to do just that with their wealth. I figure I may as well do some research into that also. It never hurts to write letters and ask.

Around mid-day yesterday I was on my knees, crying and asking the Holy Spirit to pray for me because I didn't know what else to say or ask from God. I was really at a loss, the burden was so heavy, the pressure too much, and despair was so close. I heard my phone jingle to notify me that I had a message, so I picked it up and had a beautiful, timely message from a sweet friend. She told me that she was praying for me and thinking/singing/praying the following verses for me:

Psalm 55: 22, 17 (Is a song they sing in their church)
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice.

Psalm 27:13, 14
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

I am so thankful that she followed the prompting of the Holy Spirit and sent me that message. It was God's word to strengthen my weary soul at that moment and I desperately needed to hear it. Waking up this morning, I had a feeling of peace, a sort of emptiness - not in a bad way, but like a release or that I really am doing all that I know to do. I'm giving it my best shot, trying not to hold anything back, even when it's out of my comfort zone.

I had a really good visit with Mike today. At first he kept looking at me and saying "no, no" then he stopped saying that and would only nod or shake his head while staring at me. Food is always a good "ice breaker" or diversion, so once I broke out the snacks and drink, he ate and then he seemed to be more comfortable and would talk a bit. I'm not supposed to take my phone in, but today I broke the rule so that I could show him photos of Aria and Watson. He really enjoyed looking at the photos and while we were sitting there, he put his arm around me. Very sweet. We read a newsletter from missionary friends, and then took turns reading tomorrow's Sunday school lesson out loud. He started to get antsy towards the end, but wanted to finish reading. There was still about 20 minutes until lunch, so we were going to play 2 hands of Phase 10, but after the first hand, he started sort of rocking back and forth and wanted to return to the ward to get ready for lunch.

I did tell him that I was doing all I could to get him into a better place and he asked me "What about the house?" (meaning Madison House) So I told him they had decided they could not take him, but that lots of us were praying for a better home for him. He did not get upset. I had been praying about this interaction as I know some of you were too, and I am so thankful that God paved the way and it was not traumatic.

Well, it is now almost 3:00 AM and I hope I can go back to bed and go to sleep.

It's Palm Sunday. 

Hosanna to the King of Kings! 

Jesus Christ is Lord! 

Celebrate His Majesty & Holiness!

Hope deferred

Proverbs 13:12

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Dear friends,

Hope was deferred yesterday when I received an email stating that The Madison House had reversed their decision to take Mike. They have now determined that they cannot handle all of his needs and refuse to consider even a trial period. I am heartsick.

As I told the Bible Study group last night, if this is an attack from Satan, he can forget it. Jesus has already won the victory and I will not give up believing that God is in control, can be trusted and has a plan for Mike. I will continue to praise God and look to Him for answers. I will continue to believe that at some point our longing will be fulfilled. God knows what we are longing for and He loves Mike and wants the best for him even more than we do. Only God knows what any of that looks like, and I will trust Him.

I have determined that I need to pray and fast asking God for wisdom and discernment regarding the best place for Mike. I am planning to fast Thursday and Friday and ask that any of you who feel led to please join me in whatever capacity God leads you.

Also, please encourage Mike. If you live in the area go visit, or call me and we'll go together. Yes, it's sad and uncomfortable, but I believe an hour makes a huge difference to him. You can also write to him at: 

Central State Hospital

Bldg. 94, Ward 4

P.O. Box 4030

Petersburg, VA 23803

Thank you.

Jennifer

Our Anniversary

Today is our 31st wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary to us! By God's grace, we are still one. All praise to Him in whom there is always hope! Our favorite color is green and in 1984, March 17 was on a Saturday. Very fitting. :-)  I love you, Mike.

Happy St. Patrick's day everyone!

Colossians 3:1&2
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Road getting smoother

Thank you for praying. Today Pastor Randy, Karen and I went to visit The Madison House. Just before we arrived, I heard my phone ding, notifying me that I had a text message. When I looked at it, it was from Emily at District 19 telling me that the increased funding proposal had been approved! Thank you, Jesus!!

The Madison House has been in operation for 40 years and looks fairly good from the outside, but is an older building that needs updating and sprucing up inside. Some renovations and painting are being done, but it is going slowly as money is available, plus they have to work around 80-90 residents with varying mental or physical disabilities. Initially, my heart sank just from looking at the physical makeup of where Mike would be living. However, after talking with Ms. Webber and being given a tour by Ms. Ida, it became very apparent that even though this building lacks appeal to the eye, it has a very warm, stable, faith-based, family-friendly, & caring feel because the staff make it this way. This is their calling and passion and they view the residents as their family.

I don't remember how long Ms. Webber has been there, but she is there from 11am - 11pm Monday - Friday, very personable and available for questions. Ms. Ida, a small older woman, has been there 25 years and is the undisputed, "boss". Possibly lives there, because she said she was always there. (...unless that was a joke.) She also is very personable, but you can see that she runs a tight ship and keeps everyone in line. Rod, a younger man, is the 3rd floor (locked unit) supervisor and is there M-F during the day and every other weekend. I am so thankful for the longevity of the staff, and believe that will be a real benefit to Mike as well.

Mike will have a roommate. A gentleman who is a higher functioning dementia patient. Ms. Ida said the residents help look after each other and tell on each other too! The memory care unit has their meals on the 3rd floor. Many of the residents go to a day program M-F and we hope that Mike will be able to do that eventually also. I plan to go 2 times a week and spend several hours there. Ms. Ida said she never wanted set visiting hours. She wants people to feel free to come whenever they can. Ms. Webber said only about 15% of the residents have anyone come to visit them. I'm hoping that Mike and I can play games, read the Bible, sing, or in some way interact with some of the ones who are there during the day. Maybe Mike will be able to see this as a ministry to those who don't have outside family or friends.

Ms. Ida said when the weather is nice, they do take them outside or go to a park. There is really no yard. The drive way and parking lot makes a U around the building. I guess there was a grassy area right in the front by the street, but the ones who smoke or who were sitting outside were by the parking lot. The Presbyterian Seminary is 1 or 2 blocks away and a friend said that's a nice place to walk. I'll be comfortable going to The Madison House during the day, but would not want to be out there by myself at night.

We also met Fred who started a ministry there and has a worship service there every Friday night. He was funny - he said the 3rd floor residents are his greatest worshipers. He said if he pauses to take a breath, they take over! An Elvis impersonator is coming to sing for them next week. Ms. Ida said "James Brown" lives on the 3rd floor and don't bother trying to tell him anything different! Although Ms. Ida runs a tight ship, she knows that sometimes you just have to let the residents "be" (i.e. sit in the bathroom, be "James Brown", don't be too rigid or demanding)

All in all, I came away much encouraged. I am so thankful that God is included in this house and the staff make it feel like a home. I believe this will be a good fit for Mike and he needs to move.

Mike was rather "off" at CSH this afternoon. The nurse had come and told me that she was trying to get him to come see me, but that he was reading. He eventually did come, but was having a hard time breaking out of the "no, no, no", seemed worried and became teary-eyed several times. I'm not sure if he was just a bit upset that I interrupted him or frustrated that he was stuck, or what. I told him that everything had been approved for him to move to The Madison House and hoped that would get him unstuck, but then he just remained slightly upset and started saying "I'll stay at the Madison hou, I'll stay at the Madison hou..." I asked that his supper be brought to us so that I could stay with him longer. I cuddled up next to him, rubbed his arm and started reading the Bible to him and he began to relax. His food came and he ate well. He had brought his book with him so after he ate, he wanted to read, so it was time for me to go. At least he was not worried and teary-eyed anymore and he was enjoying the book.

New request:  Please pray for our son, Caleb, he was rear-ended yesterday, has a concussion, headache and is sore and hurting today in his neck and shoulders. He did go to the ER last night and is going to another doctor tomorrow to be checked out more thoroughly. Thankfully the woman who hit him has insurance. His was an older car and will probably be deemed "totalled", so he'll be looking for another car also. Thank you.

So many of you have been such faithful prayer warriors and I am very grateful. How can I pray for you? Feel free to email me at mcjrrice@gmail.com. It is wonderful to be in the family of God and a privilege to be able to pray. Go with God and be blessed today by His abiding joy.

Bump in the Road

Quick update:

I received an email yesterday from the CSB saying that the Madison House had requested more money in order to care for Mike than was originally requested.  Therefore, a new proposal was drafted and submitted to the DAP team for approval. Evidently after reviewing Mike's case further, they requested additional funds in order to provide one-on-one care for Mike, for which I am grateful. Am trusting that God's hand is in this and His Will will be done.

Mike had another fall today. He's OK, but has another bump on his head. His balance has been off ever since the accident, so if he is pushed, he is not able to stabilize himself. He rarely tries to break his fall with his hands either, so always seems to hit his head. Please pray that he does not have any more incidences and falls. It's so distressing. He really does need the one-on-one supervision to keep him from bothering other people and receiving adverse reactions to his assertive actions.

Thank you for your prayers.

Timely Mercy

"All is well if it is in God's hands."

This morning during my time with the Lord, I looked back at what I had written yesterday morning in my journal. "All is well if it is in God's hands." (C.H. Spurgeon) How fitting that quote was for the answer we received yesterday concerning the DAP funds!  Honestly, yesterday morning I was having trouble staying awake while reading and couldn't even remember what I read. So I went back this morning and read that page again and it was all very timely. I want to share a bit more of it with you:

Title:  God's Timing
"Just when we need a mercy, and when the mercy is much more a mercy because it is so timely, that is when it comes. If it had come later, it might have been too late, or at any rate it would not have been so seasonable and thus not so sweet.   Who knows what is the right time? God, who sees all at a single glance, knows." (Beside Still Waters: Words of Comfort for the Soul by C.H. Spurgeon)

May this encourage you today.

DAP FUNDING APPROVED!!!!!

I received word during my lunch hour today that the DAP funding has been approved for Mike to go to The Madison House!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!  No details yet, but hopefully Mike will be able to transfer to The Madison House within the next two weeks.  I am so very thankful to God for this answer to prayer and so thankful to each of you, my dear, dear prayer warriors.

I am especially grateful to be getting him into a smaller place since he's had several incidences in the past 2 weeks at CSH. Mike had received his new glasses a couple of weeks ago, but just a few days after receiving them, he grabbed another patient, they pushed him and he fell and broke his glasses. The fall also caused him to receive a small cut above his left eye which required 3 stitches.  There was another incident this week and this time he fell and needed a few stitches on the back, upper right side of his head. His balance has been off ever since the accident and he's just not aware that he is bothering other people. He has a very strong grip also, and I used to have to pry his fingers off of me when he was in that mode.

I will keep you posted as I learn more details. I am very hopeful about this move and, yes, a bit anxious also. Please pray that all the details get worked out in the proper sequence and time and that Mike will transition well to this new "permanent" place.  I have spoken with Dr. Hammond, part owner and, I believe, a psychologist, and he seems to be a very calm and caring man. They are taking Mike at a reduced rate because Mike "captured" Dr. Hammond's heart. (I believe our Awesome God had a lot to do with that!) Dr. Hammond said Mike was "in and out" during their interview, but he just wanted to do this for Mike and our family. Totally of God and I am so thankful.

Job 37:5 

"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; 

He does great things beyond our understanding."

Yet

Yet

Such a small word that I've never really thought much about before;

however it is filled with hope & expectation, perseverance & strength.

Definition from Google search: yet

adverb

1. 1.

   up until the present or a specified or implied time; by now or then.

   
   

   synonyms:

   so far, thus far, as yet, up till/to now, until now

2. 2.

   still; even (used to emphasize increase or repetition).

   
   

   synonyms:

   even, still, further, in addition, additionally, besides, into the bargain, to boot, on top (of that)

3. conjunction

1. 1.

   but at the same time; but nevertheless.

   
   

Here are some of the ways this word has crept into conversation and thought lately:

I cannot handle bringing Mike home, yet.

I wrestled with this a couple of weeks ago and God has given me peace that bringing him "home" is not an option, yet. The very next day I received a call from Heather, the SW at CSH telling me about a possible placement or if I thought I could bring him home. This time I was able to answer without wavering. Over the past 2 weeks, Mike has been evaluated for a facility called The Madison House in Richmond, VA, they have agreed to take him, if the DAP funding is granted to Mike for this placement. Emily at the CSB has applied for the funds and is waiting to hear when the board will meet so that she can present Mike's case in person.

Not the best, yet hopefully better

While the Madison House is not a brain injury specific placement, they do have a few residents with brain injury and have a locked unit for Mike's protection, there are less residents than CSH, and it sounds like a homier environment with an open-door policy to family and other groups. Various church groups come in to hold worship/Bible studies, play games and interact with the residents, music groups come in weekly, etc. I've been told it is not much to look at on the outside, and I'm not sure about the surrounding area, but, so far, it seems the Lord is working things out in this direction, and so I will trust this is His will, unless the funding doesn't come through.

God has not chosen to heal Mike, yet,

nor to find a certain medicine or treatment that stabilizes him. The new medication seemed to work for a couple of weeks and then the same behaviors manifested, plus he became sluggish and less coordinated. Therefore, Dr. Ebeling is slowly weaning Mike off of that medicine. I, again, have asked about trying to decrease other meds to see if that makes any difference. Dr. Ebeling is open to that idea after Mike is off of the new med. 

God is not done with Mike, yet.

Thursday, February 12, there was an incident at CSH and Mike was pushed, hitting the back of his head against a wall. Karen and I saw him on Thursday evening and he seemed fine, except for a headache and a large raspberry place on the back of his head that was slightly swollen.

At 2:00AM, Friday morning, Feb. 13, I received a call from CSH saying Mike was being taken to the ER due to projectile vomiting. I called Hugh and we got down there a little after 3am. Mike was sleeping soundly. The CSH tech, Terri, said they had taken him for a CT scan and given him nausea medicine.  About 5:30, we finally saw a doctor and she said the scan was fine, just soft tissue damage and most likely the vomiting was due to a concussion. He was given juice and crackers to see if he could keep that down, prescriptions for nausea and sent back to CSH. I saw him Saturday afternoon and we had a very good Valentine visit. Played a game, talked, read the Bible, prayed and sang. One good thing about sitting in the hospital was talking with Terri. She's on the night shift from 11p-7:30a. She said Mike can be such a sweet person, does get up some during the night and sometimes is confused. She said it takes 2 women to handle him when he is having one of his bad moments. I understand.


I must confess that on the way down to the hospital in the wee hours of Friday morning, I prayed that God would just take him on to heaven and release him and me of the stress, pain, sadness, and hurt. But when they woke him up to give him something to eat in the ER, he looked straight at me for a few seconds and then said flatly "What are you doing here?" I laughed and thought, "He is one tough cookie. Obviously God is not done with him yet, so quit praying for him to take him. All will be done in God's time. My part is to love him, advocate for him and do what I can for him as long as he is here and leave the rest to God."

God is not done working on me, yet.

Saw Mike yesterday.  He looked good, but had steri-strips on his right eyebrow, so obviously some new incident. He said someone in a wheelchair did it. When I asked if he was trying to push this person and they didn't want him to, he said "yes". Sigh.....  Somehow, all of this stuff happening has helped me with the thought of Mike moving to The Madison House. Seems it's time.....God putting all the pieces together.

God is also continually working in my heart towards my husband. I had come to a place of such weariness and irritation that it was hard to look past all of that daily stress and work to really see Mike. God has been softening my heart and helping me to see Mike again, not just a brain injured patient with lots of issues and needs. Also that I can care for him and love him well (actually better, at this time) while he lives somewhere else.

He came to that which was His own, 

but His own did not receive Him.

YET to all who did receive Him, 

to those who believed in His name,

 He gave the right to become children of God.

John 1:11 & 12

My prayer is that through our story, the ups and downs, the struggles and triumphs, what each one that reads this hears the loudest is that Jesus is our reason for hope, for life, for purpose no matter what our situation in this fallen and temporary world. As Job said: "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him..." (Job 13:15) Mike's and my greatest desire is that when people interact with us, they see Jesus. If you meet us and forget us, you've lost nothing. If you meet Jesus and forget Him, you've lost everything. He has come, have you received Him?  The "yet" is still there, there is still time.

How is Mike?

I hear this question often and often I don't know what to say other than "much the same". I know people are concerned, interested, and want to know how to pray, but (I'm going to be honest) sometimes I dread the question. Answering "much the same" is safe, easy, non-emotional and with most people is about all I say. Sometimes; however, I do go into more detail. Some people genuinely want to know and others really don't. That's OK. Sometimes I want to share and sometimes I don't. At times, details lead into tears and emotions that I would rather leave alone. Especially if I've just visited Mike, and he wasn't feeling well, or didn't look the best. So...how is Mike?

The Good News:  The last three times I've visited Mike he has been calmer and more relaxed. He did not come down the hall saying "no, no, no" either. Dr. Ebeling started a new medicine shortly after Christmas and so far it seems to be helping. I hope for the best, but am skeptical as we have been down this road before. However, maybe this is THE medicine or correct combo of medicines. Whatever the long-term outcome, I am thankful for Dr. Ebeling. He has not had experience with brain injury prior to Mike, but he is willing to try different approaches, read reports and proceed cautiously with medication adjustments. A neurologist friend of his gave Dr. Ebeling a 50 page report about some medicines that had proven successful for some TBI patients and he took the time to read this over his Christmas break. Previously, when Mike was acting up after being at the Treatment Mall, Dr. Ebeling made a plan to separate Mike from the rest of the residents until supper time. By limiting the amount of stimulation for a time, Mike's behavior improved and there were less behavioral issues. You have to remember that CSH is not really set up for brain injury patients, so Dr. Ebeling is also trying to train the staff in how to handle Mike as well. Please pray for continued wisdom for Dr. Ebeling and his staff in regards to Mike's treatment and care.

The Bad News:  Mike has an abscess on his back side. He said it was not hurting now and is healing. Last Saturday when I visited him, his throat was very sore. Spoke with a nurse or tech during the week and they said Mike was on an antibiotic and seemed to be feeling better. Mom, Randy, Karen and I visited with him last night and though he was calm, I didn't think he looked very good. To me his eyes looked like he wasn't feeling good. He is congested, but said his throat felt better. He hasn't been shaved in several days and there were signs of food spills on his clothes. Mike was always so fastidious, so it is hard to see him disheveled. He still doesn't have any glasses either, so I know that contributes to things just not being right with him. His glasses were lost before Christmas. He has seen the eye doctor, but things move slow with the government and so glasses may be another 2 - 3 weeks. Mike ate his snack, we read a bit of mail, prayed together, and played Uno. The visit was fine. I just want so much more for Mike and it's still out of reach.

Most places won't even consider taking Mike since there is a history of aggression and erratic behavior. I took a prayer walk today and wrestled with what our options are - there aren't many. Please pray that the Lord will open a door to a more homey, safe place. One that is close enough for me to be part of his care and be able to spend time with him in more than just an impersonal visiting room. Plus, one where others will be more comfortable visiting also. I'm going to start calling and looking again tomorrow. I was getting anxious and fretting this afternoon, but after spending time with the Lord, my spirit was calmed.

The past 2 weeks, this has been my go-to verse: Isaiah 30:15 "....in quietness and trust is your strength...." It was part of my daily reading a couple of weeks ago, then yesterday it was the verse of the day on a daily calendar that Mom has on a shelf above the kitchen sink. God's reminder to me to keep trusting Him. Another verse that came to my attention from the little daily calendar is Acts 3:19 (NKJV) "Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord." I like the New King James Version because it says if we have repented, our sins are blotted out and that we will be refreshed because of the Lord's presence. Other translations say that refreshing will come from the Lord. It may be subtle, but to me there is a difference. The later sounds like something the Lord hands to us, possibly from a distance, while the former says that the Lord's very presence with us will refresh us. I am so glad that our God is with us. Emmanuel - God with us. God's presence is with those who repent and come to Him. Don't you want to be refreshed today? Jesus is the only way and He loves you so much. Actually, the beginning of Isaiah 30:15 talks about repentance also. The quietness, trust and refreshing comes after repentance. When we stop going our way, turn and go with God, then there is peace. May you know that peace today.

Please remember Mike in your prayers and remember to write. He loves to receive mail and it gives him something to do when he writes back. Thank you. Here's his address again:

Mike Rice
Central State Hospital
Bldg. 94, Ward 4
P.O. Box 4030
Petersburg, VA 23803