Yet
Such a small word that I've never really thought much about before;
however it is filled with hope & expectation, perseverance & strength.
Definition from Google search: yet
adverb
- 1.up until the present or a specified or implied time; by now or then.
synonyms: so far, thus far, as yet, up till/to now, until now
- 2.still; even (used to emphasize increase or repetition).
synonyms: even, still, further, in addition, additionally, besides, into the bargain, to boot, on top (of that)
- 1.but at the same time; but nevertheless.
Here are some of the ways this word has crept into conversation and thought lately:
I cannot handle bringing Mike home, yet.
I wrestled with this a couple of weeks ago and God has given me peace that bringing him "home" is not an option, yet. The very next day I received a call from Heather, the SW at CSH telling me about a possible placement or if I thought I could bring him home. This time I was able to answer without wavering. Over the past 2 weeks, Mike has been evaluated for a facility called The Madison House in Richmond, VA, they have agreed to take him, if the DAP funding is granted to Mike for this placement. Emily at the CSB has applied for the funds and is waiting to hear when the board will meet so that she can present Mike's case in person.
Not the best, yet hopefully better
While the Madison House is not a brain injury specific placement, they do have a few residents with brain injury and have a locked unit for Mike's protection, there are less residents than CSH, and it sounds like a homier environment with an open-door policy to family and other groups. Various church groups come in to hold worship/Bible studies, play games and interact with the residents, music groups come in weekly, etc. I've been told it is not much to look at on the outside, and I'm not sure about the surrounding area, but, so far, it seems the Lord is working things out in this direction, and so I will trust this is His will, unless the funding doesn't come through.
God has not chosen to heal Mike, yet,
nor to find a certain medicine or treatment that stabilizes him. The new medication seemed to work for a couple of weeks and then the same behaviors manifested, plus he became sluggish and less coordinated. Therefore, Dr. Ebeling is slowly weaning Mike off of that medicine. I, again, have asked about trying to decrease other meds to see if that makes any difference. Dr. Ebeling is open to that idea after Mike is off of the new med.
God is not done with Mike, yet.
Thursday, February 12, there was an incident at CSH and Mike was pushed, hitting the back of his head against a wall. Karen and I saw him on Thursday evening and he seemed fine, except for a headache and a large raspberry place on the back of his head that was slightly swollen.At 2:00AM, Friday morning, Feb. 13, I received a call from CSH saying Mike was being taken to the ER due to projectile vomiting. I called Hugh and we got down there a little after 3am. Mike was sleeping soundly. The CSH tech, Terri, said they had taken him for a CT scan and given him nausea medicine. About 5:30, we finally saw a doctor and she said the scan was fine, just soft tissue damage and most likely the vomiting was due to a concussion. He was given juice and crackers to see if he could keep that down, prescriptions for nausea and sent back to CSH. I saw him Saturday afternoon and we had a very good Valentine visit. Played a game, talked, read the Bible, prayed and sang. One good thing about sitting in the hospital was talking with Terri. She's on the night shift from 11p-7:30a. She said Mike can be such a sweet person, does get up some during the night and sometimes is confused. She said it takes 2 women to handle him when he is having one of his bad moments. I understand.
I must confess that on the way down to the hospital in the wee hours of Friday morning, I prayed that God would just take him on to heaven and release him and me of the stress, pain, sadness, and hurt. But when they woke him up to give him something to eat in the ER, he looked straight at me for a few seconds and then said flatly "What are you doing here?" I laughed and thought, "He is one tough cookie. Obviously God is not done with him yet, so quit praying for him to take him. All will be done in God's time. My part is to love him, advocate for him and do what I can for him as long as he is here and leave the rest to God."
God is not done working on me, yet.
Saw Mike yesterday. He looked good, but had steri-strips on his right eyebrow, so obviously some new incident. He said someone in a wheelchair did it. When I asked if he was trying to push this person and they didn't want him to, he said "yes". Sigh..... Somehow, all of this stuff happening has helped me with the thought of Mike moving to The Madison House. Seems it's time.....God putting all the pieces together.
God is also continually working in my heart towards my husband. I had come to a place of such weariness and irritation that it was hard to look past all of that daily stress and work to really see Mike. God has been softening my heart and helping me to see Mike again, not just a brain injured patient with lots of issues and needs. Also that I can care for him and love him well (actually better, at this time) while he lives somewhere else.
He came to that which was His own,
but His own did not receive Him.
YET to all who did receive Him,
to those who believed in His name,
He gave the right to become children of God.
John 1:11 & 12
My prayer is that through our story, the ups and downs, the struggles and triumphs, what each one that reads this hears the loudest is that Jesus is our reason for hope, for life, for purpose no matter what our situation in this fallen and temporary world. As Job said: "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him..." (Job 13:15) Mike's and my greatest desire is that when people interact with us, they see Jesus. If you meet us and forget us, you've lost nothing. If you meet Jesus and forget Him, you've lost everything. He has come, have you received Him? The "yet" is still there, there is still time.
