Garment of Praise

Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV)

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

Sunrise over the mountains
from Viv & Mike's backyard.

because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor.

About 2 weeks ago, the devotional page I read in C. H. Spurgeon's book Beside Still Waters: Words of Comfort for the Soul reminded me that "We may come sorrowing, but He puts 'a garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness' on us." Plus, "Let your spirit be joyful in God your Savior. 'The joy of the LORD is your strength' (Nehemiah 8:10), and no fiend of hell can make progress against you." Praise is a wonderful way to lift our spirits when it feels like the weight of our world is on our shoulders. It helps us remember that it is not our burden to bear anyway, because Jesus told us that we are to take His yoke upon us and that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Matthew 11:30

Beef burgundy - delicious!

This past weekend, my sisters and their spouses were a true "garment of praise" from God wrapped round about me. I came to Vivian & Mike's last Wednesday and am leaving today. Vivian and I have enjoyed little outings to Asheville and Black Mountain, walking, decorating, and doing small projects. Gayle & Tom, Carol & Ed all arrived on Friday afternoon and the festivities really kicked off. "Chef Mike", Vivian's husband cooked impressive (see photo) and delicious

Ahhh, relaxation

meals and there were serious talks, fun chatter, laughter and relaxation.  Viv & Mike live in a gorgeous location on the side of a mountain and it has been a joy to sit by the fire pit on their deck and admire the view. Here are some photos of our weekend.

Panoramic view from their deck.

Cloudy morning view

Sisters! Gayle, Vivian, Carol & me.

Kerry's sticks were

essential!

Saturday, with our cousin, Kerry's walking sticks in hand, we took a hike to Catawba Falls in Old Fort, NC. It was a beautiful, sunny and slightly cool day; perfect for hiking and not a difficult hike. The only catch was crossing the stream 3 times and getting our feet wet, well some of us did, that is. :-)

In back: Tom, Ed, Vivian,
In front: Mike, Carol, Gayle, me

Waterfall was well worth

wet feet

After our hike, we drove to Silver Fork Vineyard & Winery and enjoyed listening to a live band. For dinner, we headed to Asheville and ate at a restaurant called Storm. It was an unusual menu. Viv ordered the brussel sprouts appetizer which was delicious and Ed ordered the pigs ears appetizer which we all tried and thought were disgusting - after one bite, it stuck to my teeth and took at least 10 minutes to get rid of! Makes a great story and I can say I tried them....once! I played it safe and had steak filet for my meal which was delicious.

While Vivian was at school yesterday morning, I read the Medicare booklet and completed the Initial Enrollment Questionnaire online for Mike. Monday I received an email from District 19 letting me know that the DAP funding has now been released; however, there is only $44,000 left for the fiscal year and it is already earmarked for current DAP plans, so there is no money for Mike through that until possibly the next fiscal year. That's discouraging because last week Emily at District 19 had sent me an email with information about a home in Powhatan called Golden Pond (only about 40 minutes from the farm). On Friday I spoke for almost an hour with the owner of the home and became very hopeful that this might work out if the funding through DAP came available. This home is $66,000 a year versus the $160,000+ for the facility in Virginia Beach. Trusting God to please show us and tell us great things we cannot search out on our own.

$3.33, 3:33 AM

Wow! Where does time go? I started this blog several weeks ago and have not taken the time to complete it. Writing every few days would make sense, but.....

Shortly before Mike went to CSH, I heard a song, "Need You Now. (How Many Times.)" by Plumb. The words could so easily be my own that I feel sure Plumb has been through some very trying times herself. Here are the lyrics:

PLUMB LYRICS - "Need You Now (How Many Times)"

Well, everybody's got a story to tell

And everybody's got a wound to be healed

I want to believe there's beauty here

'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on

I can't let go, I can't move on

I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out

"God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to

Just keep breathing?

Oh I need you

God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan

Wondering how I got to where I am

I'm trying to hear that still small voice

I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out

"God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to

Just keep breathing?

Oh I need you

God, I need you now.

Though I walk,

Though I walk through the shadows

And I, I am so afraid

Please stay, please stay right beside me

With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?

And how many times have you given me strength?

For several days, the refrain stayed in my head. God is faithful and He does give strength to keep breathing and keep trusting Him. Sometimes that's all we can do.

The meeting with the Attorney went extremely well. He is a Christian and extremely knowledgeable about elder law and all that entails as related to looking for long-term placement. As it turns out, since Mike is receiving LTD through the NC Retirement System which will automatically switch to Service Retirement at age 65, his retirement account cannot be viewed as accessible cash. It is strictly on a monthly basis from here on out. Therefore, we are already poor enough to apply for Medicaid, BUT since Mike is in a State facility, we cannot apply until we find an appropriate facility that will take him.

Mike is doing about the same at CSH as he was at home. He had a couple of weeks of being more calm, but last week (Oct. 8) started to be hard to redirect again. Dr. Ebeling is going to wait a bit before tweaking medication again. For the most part, Mike seems to be content at Central State. Several times I've gone to visit and he has been the one to cut the visit short. I always bring him some sort of snack and reading materials. This is how most visits have been going lately:  Mike comes in saying "no, no, no"  or is a little bit antsy then sits down and starts to eat his snack, settles down and we have a good visit, he is mostly clear and can tell me about the activities he's been doing. After anywhere from 10 minutes to a half an hour, he starts to get up and says something like "well, I have to get back to them" and he heads back to the ward. It seems that the sameness of routine, everyone doing basically the same thing that he is, the confinement and structure is actually a comfort and security to him. Occasionally he'll ask about coming home, but he seems to be doing well and better than I expected. The staff are very caring and he is in a class routine at the Treatment Mall Monday through Friday, so he does not stay in the same building or space all the time.  Here is an excerpt of an email I received on October 1st from the Rehab coordinator.

"He has had good participation and interacts well with group facilitators and his peers.   One of his groups has an exercise part at the very beginning and he was able to exercise along with the DVD with some modifications to some of the exercises. He was able to follow directions and participated well in the various activities. His groups focus on social interaction, participation as well as cognitive skills such as memory and attention/focus. One facilitator mentioned that he repeats himself frequently and can be loud at times but was easily re-directed. In yesterday afternoon’s group he participated well in various games. Towards the end of the session they played Uno. He took the lead at times with explaining rules and keeping up with who’s turn it was etc. Towards the end he seemed to get a little frustrated with some of the other clients who needed more staff assistance because they were having a little difficulty playing. He was easily directed and was able to continue playing. He later began saying “no, no, no” and was unable to say what was going on. Staff talked to him and he was able to remain  in group for the rest of the session.  He has not demonstrated any inappropriate behavior."

As I said earlier, he became harder to redirect last week, much like the cycle we've seen over the past 2+ years. New medication seems to help and calm for a time, then the erratic behavior comes back again.

A couple of weeks ago 3 representatives from NRLC (Neurological Rehabilitation Living Centers) in Virginia Beach came and evaluated Mike. They think he would fit well with their program and I think Mike would love it. Unfortunately, it is somewhere between $450-$550/day. If the DAP (Discharge Assistance Project) funding wasn't frozen, it might be able to help significantly with the cost, but no one knows when that funding will be available again. Also, NRLC does not take Medicaid. Thus, NRLC seems to be well out of reach, but anything is possible with God. There may be other funding sources, or another similar facility that does take Medicaid. After the initial 30 day commitment to CSH, Mike was recommitted for up to 180 days; however, we are running into the same issues I ran into last year in trying to find a suitable and affordable placement.

I have been feeling a lot of stress and near panic attacks in the resent weeks. I've restarted an anti-anxiety medication and I know in my head that God is in control and there is nothing I can do, but my body is betraying me. I've been asking God to please tell me something. About 10 days ago, I bought something at the store and it came to $3.33. I just noticed it because it was all the same number.  Then a couple of nights in a row, I woke up at 3:33 AM.  OK, something is going on….So I prayed, God are you trying to tell me something?  The name “Jeremiah” popped into my head.  I got my Bible and was about to look up Jeremiah 3:33, but the thought came, no, 33:3. OK, so I looked up Jeremiah 33:3 and this is what it says:  “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”  Wow!  God Answered me. He was telling me that I can’t “Google” or research what I need to know, I just need to keep on calling out to Him and He will tell me great things and things I cannot find out on my own.  I just need to stay in His Word daily, and keep praying, seeking, resting, waiting, trusting. Letting go of control, worry, and anxiety. Last Wednesday my counselor prescribed going to a nearby lake, sitting and just being. It was wonderful and after her other words of wisdom during our session, I have felt less stressed, more relaxed and calm. God will provide what is needed in His timing. I do covet your prayers that I will be able to continue to rest in His all sufficiency.

Different Direction

Last Thursday, September 4, I spoke with Kris, the social worker, at Central State. After having Mike at the facility for 2 weeks, they were starting to see his many "faces" - the faces that we live with on a daily basis. How sometimes he can focus and speak clearly, read, handle his ADLs (Activities of Daily Living), be cooperative and participate in Treatment Mall activities and then, without warning, he can be the exact opposite of all of those things. The perseveration increased again and redirection is difficult. As Kris and I talked, it was evident that he would not be coming home any time soon and we were talking about long-term solutions. Kris told me that District 19-CSB (Community Service Board) would be involved to assist in looking for a TBI facility.

This took me by surprise. You wouldn't think so, after all this time, but it did. I was still thinking I would bring him home and just have to have him more sedated. However, as we talked, realization was breaking through and I knew I could not continue to care for him in his current condition. I was breaking down mentally and emotionally. Just the same, it is a very difficult thing to decide to commit my husband, who is only 58 years old and strong of body, to a long-term care facility. After we hung up, I went for a long prayer walk to calm the panic and seek God's voice.

Shortly after Mike went to CSH, I felt that God was telling me to "let go". At the time, I thought it was letting go of feeling that I had made a mess of things and failed Mike, that I could have done more, letting go of my thoughts on medication, etc. As I walked and prayed on September 4, there was a real sense of "it's time, Jennifer, for you to let go of control of caring for Mike by yourself and entrust him to Me (God)." It hit me all of a sudden. I was starting to have a martyr complex, believing it was God's will that I bring Mike home and it wasn't. Just the night before, when I was praying, I told God that I was Mike's advocate, but I needed someone to advocate for me. Here was Central State Hospital staff and District 19 staff and they were doing exactly that...advocating for me (& Mike). The very fact that he needed more help than I could give him. That committing him to a long-term care facility wasn't abandoning him or even conceding that he may never get better, but the fact that a 24 hour facility was much better equipped to keep him safe, work with him at many levels, and give him the best chance of getting better or getting into a daily routine that would benefit him. Even if he doesn't understand this, hopefully he'll be able to accept it, in time.

Over the next few days, I talked with all of our immediate family on both sides. I think most of them had decided this needed to happen long ago. It is such a blessing to have the support of all of our family. It has been a long 28 months and they've been right with us for the long haul. Even though we all know this is the right step, it is still a sad reality. Please pray for peace for all of us. It's easy to get blindsided at times and dragged down by despair. Pray also for God's hand in where Mike will be placed. My prayer is that it is a progressive-thinking facility that will encourage participants to be the best they can be. One that will allow Mike to exercise and be involved in small daily tasks like setting the table, washing dishes, cleaning, raking, making a sandwich, etc. He does much better when he is active and feels useful, not helpless. Routine has always been important to him and with TBI I've read it's even more crucial. I know a facility will do a better job of that than I did.

With all of this, he will definitely have to go on Medicaid, so I am meeting with an attorney on Tuesday at 2:00 pm to start that process again. Please pray I remember all of the paperwork I need to take with me. Attorneys are expensive and I want to make the most of the initial appointment!

On Tuesday, God gave me a beautiful devotional as a reassurance that we're headed in the right direction. This is excerpts from Dr. Charles Stanley's daily devotional for September 9, 2014 entitled "The Blessings of Inadequacy". Comments in parentheses are mine.

"No one likes the fear and frustration of dealing with challenges that are too big to handle, but God can use them for our good. 

Maybe you have never considered inadequacy a blessing. After all, it stirs up all sorts of uncomfortable emotions that make us feel insignificant and weak. But God can turn the negatives into blessings if we acknowledge our helplessness, depend on His strength, and step into our challenges with confidence in Him.  Inadequacy can be a blessing since it: 

 • Drives us to God as we recognize our helplessness. 

 • Relieves us of the burden of trying to do God’s will in our own strength.  (That would be me!) 

 • Motivates us to live in the power of the Holy Spirit.

 • Provides an opportunity for the Lord to demonstrate what He can do. (Go Lord!) 

 • Increases our usefulness to God by replacing pride with humility. 

 • Allows Christ to receive all the glory.  (Yes! Very important!) 

 • Gives us peace as we rely on Him. 

 Through the power of the Holy Spirit, believers have the ability to endure difficulty and accomplish whatever the Lord calls them to do. By claiming the adequacy of Christ, we can face every circumstance with a sense of confidence—not in ourselves but in God, who is capable." 

Isn't that powerful? Such a blessing - I keep on re-reading it. Such a good reminder.

Mike will probably be at Central State for a good while. I know he would appreciate hearing from you. Be sure to include your return address as he likes to write letters sometimes. Even better, include an address label so he can just put it on the envelope. Here is the address:

Michael Rice
C/O Central State Hospital
Bldg. 94, Ward 4
P.O. Box 4030
Petersburg, VA 23803

New friends

P.S. to Central State

I went for a walk after posting the last blog and realized I left out a major blessing and source of encouragement that the Lord has given to us. At the end of June, the East Nottoway Charge received a new Pastor and his wife.

Pastor Randy and his wife, Karen, have been a huge blessing to Mike and I already and are quickly becoming dear friends. They took me down to Central State on Monday, August 25, for the hearing regarding having Mike committed on a Temporary Detention Order (TDO). The following day was Mike's 58th birthday and, again, Randy & Karen picked me up and drove to Petersburg. We stopped at Applebee's and bought supper and then drove to CSH to celebrate Mike's birthday with him with a special meal complete with strawberry cheesecake. Mike thanked them for coming to eat with him, ate heartily, and seemed to enjoy the conversation. Pastor Randy prayed over Mike before we left. They have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus to us (me especially) and I am so thankful that God has sent them here.

Central State

A week ago this past Friday, we had such a frantic, out-of-control episode with Mike that I called 911. He was a potential danger not only to himself, but also to others. Since late Friday night, August 22, Mike has been at Central State Psychiatric Hospital in Petersburg, VA. He had to be somewhat sedated over the first weekend, and then put back on Seroquel on a regular basis during the day. This makes him a bit more unstable physically, but I've finally come to the realization that it is preferable to having frantic episodes. Although my motives were good for getting him off of medication, we either went to quickly or took away the wrong ones. Also, I was way too slow to acknowledge that he was getting out-of-control and that he needed something to calm him down on a regular basis. I made a lot of mistakes and Mike and I both suffered for it. One good thing about reducing the Amantadine; however, seems that he is not repeating as much as before. We went from 2 pills a day to 1 a day about 2 weeks ago now. Maybe there was some withdrawal also, I don't know.

Mike is doing fairly well at Central State. He is more content there than he was at Tucker's. They do not feel they are the best fit for him since his psychiatric issues are secondary to TBI, but I have been pleased with the staff, his care, and daily routine. Monday - Friday, he is taken to the "Treatment Mall". This is in a different building from where he is housed and he is able to check out books from the library, watch movies, plus interact with others through activities or classes. Last Friday he watched a film on anger management and each patient had to rate how they felt the person in the film did in managing his anger.

Mike is actually in a sort of holding pattern for 10 days. Central State is required to continue to look for a "more suitable" facility for 10 days. After that time, if they have not found a place, they would keep him or I will bring him home. In order for them to keep him, he would have to go on Medicaid. We went down that road about a year ago and for various reasons, it is not the best decision for us at this time. I am not rushing the process, but figure after the 10 days, I will bring him home. I just want to make sure he is fairly calm with the current medication and that I have something to give him in case of emergency before bringing him home.

Even though I was regularly communicating with Dr. Sellman and asking his advice, I was the one pushing to reduce meds. I am letting go of that and will just try to communicate a more realistic picture of what life at home is like and pray that Dr. Sellman will have the wisdom to know how to help us.

I've felt incredibly sad this week. This is such a learning process and I was so hopeful that Mike would be better with less medication. It's sad to see him in another facility, sad to think he has to be more sedated, sad that he's physically more unbalanced when he is on more medication, sad that we're still in this status after 28 months. However, God is always good to provide things for me to concentrate on other than our situation. Prior to this incident, I had been given the opportunity to share a message at church today. On Thursday, August 21, I felt the Lord gave me a message to share so I agreed to do it. Focusing on God's word and preparing this talk, kept me from falling into deeper despair. God always provides a way for me to escape that I might be able to bear it.

I covet your prayers for wisdom for the treatment team at Central State, decisions I need to make, Mike's safety and calmness and the right blend of medication before he comes home.

The way camp ended...

On Friday, July 25, I received a call from Dr. O'Brien, the camp director. The medication that had been prescribed for the rattle in Mike's lungs had sent him into a "full-blown psychotic episode". EMT's were called in, full restraint had to be used and Mike transported to the hospital. The hospital gave him some medicine and sent him back to camp. My nephew, TR, and I arrived at camp about the same time and gathered Mike's things to bring him home. Mike was slightly agitated and fixated. He believed we were leaving behind one (or 4) of his boxes and even though we double and triple checked his cabin and the infirmary, he was adamant.

TR finally gently, forced Mike into the backseat and I got in on the other side, buckled him up and we took off. He was upset for the first 10 minutes or so and then calmed down and asked for his book. The next 2.5 hours were fine with Mike reading and riding calmly. As soon as we got home and started unloading, the fixation on a missing box(es) started again and for the next 3 hours he did the following: paced around the house, paced out to the car and back, started walking back to camp, was retrieved and would start out again, went for a ride supposedly back to camp, until Hugh had to come and we got him in the house and into the shower, then he calmed down. So his camp experience was cut short by 2 days and initially he said he didn't like camp and didn't want to go back, but that changed in a few days. The camp would allow him to come back, they knew it was medication induced psychosis.

The next day was one of our best days. Mike helped me wash windows at Mom and Dad's, we ran some errands related to the party for Mom and Dad, started learning the new automated calf-feeding system and only had a short bout of thinking he left a box at camp. This time we called the director and she assured him he did not leave anything. With a heavy sigh he said "Guess I have to let it go."

Dad and one of his
granddaughter's in law, Courtney

The following Sun. - Thurs. were fairly rough. Lots of repeating, non-compliant behavior. We were all getting ready for Mom and Dad's big party (A combination celebration of Mom's 85th birthday

Guests beginning to arrive.
There were over 150 people.

Beautiful Mom.

Memories & flowers from
Dad's garden

66 Years of marriage

brother-in-laws...

on July 13, Dad's 90th birthday on July 31, and their 66th wedding anniversary on Aug. 8) I don't know if he was worried that he wasn't going to be included or what was going through his mind. I even wrote out what was happening on each day and kept writing "Mike is included", "Mike is part of all of the activities".

Whenever Mike was with all of the people throughout the weekend, he did fabulously. He helped set up at the church fellowship hall, enjoyed being at Mom and Dad's among all the chaos of people, and eating meals together.  At the party, he mingled, talked, was calm, and seemed to enjoy himself very much. I was so thrilled and able to completely relax and enjoy the party also with no worries. We had cut out another pill and he was needing Trazodone a good bit, but this was fantastic!  He would still repeat and lose it at home when we were alone, but it seemed like a good sign.

Sunday after breakfast, we went to see the Hidden Treasure at Green Meadows Farm house where my Aunt's family was staying and visit with them one last time. Mike did great and enjoyed the tour. Then we went to church and during the praise time, I praised God for how great Mike had been doing over the past few days. It was communion Sunday and when it was time to serve, Pastor Randy asked Mike and I to serve communion with him. It was very special and brought tears to our eyes, as well as, many others who know our story. Was a real sign of how far Mike has come and how much God has done for us. Faye, a member of the church who rode with me to Blacksburg one time, gave me a bracelet after the service that says "With God all things are possible."

That afternoon, when everyone was leaving, Mike was a little agitated and worried. I figured he had to be really tired and so about mid afternoon, we came back home to rest. He could not. Kept thinking "they" were calling us to come back over (to Mom and Dad's). I was very tired and tried to rest, but he couldn't. We went back up for supper, and now it was only Mom, Dad, and my sister, Vivian, there. I thought he would calm down now that he knew everyone was gone, party over, but no. He seemed so afraid that he was missing something.

From then until now, it has been like Psalm 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick". It was like we had had "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.", but suddenly the tree was cut down again.
After talking with Dr. Sellman several times, we are trying to taper off of some medication. I just didn't want to try yet another medicine. I want to see where he is without medication. Who knows? Maybe the medicine is causing this craziness, and how can we know unless we get him off of medication to see what he, by himself, is like.  This is not an easy time, so please pray for all of us who deal with Mike and especially for Mike. I again marvel at what his body can handle and still keep going. Today, he seems especially irritated with Max and is not being very kind. Please pray that Max sticks it out with us. These breaks are extremely vital to my well-being. I carry a lot of stress in my body, and need time to breathe and when I am not totally responsible for him. Being on constant alert is very wearing.

Want to get outside and cut grass, before Max leaves, so that's all for now. Thank you so much for continuing to lift us up before the throne of our Holy God. He has never left me, nor forsaken me.

Cathedral Cafe

Hello!  I have enough thoughts & things to share to probably make 3 blog posts, so I'll try to go chronologically and get started.

#1

One thing I forgot to mention about my respite trip was the very unique Cathedral Cafe in Fayetteville, WV where Lynn and I ate lunch after zip-lining.  Lynn is very outgoing, like Mike, and as we were driving/hiking along the New River Gorge, we saw 3 people gearing up to go hiking. Lynn stopped to talk and see what they were doing. In the course of the conversation, the guide said that his shop was across the street from the Cathedral Cafe in town. Lynn asked if that would be a good place to have lunch and he said "Yes, tell them Steve sent you!"  It was a very quaint cafe with bookshelves lined with books, unusual menu items, and a very casual, comfortable atmosphere. I ordered a beef and brie sandwich with reduction onions that was amazingly delicious. The staff were very friendly and accommodating. If you are ever in the area, I would definitely recommend putting Cathedral Cafe into your GPS and heading on over for a delightful culinary experience. Your taste buds will thank you!

 With all of the travelling and eating out, sometimes it is hard to have self-control. During the weeks surrounding this trip, the Lord was bringing me to verses regarding living by the Spirit rather than yielding to the sinful nature. I used to have no problem eating until I was full, then stopping even if there was food on my plate. Over the years, I have gotten away from that and especially this past winter with the stress, boredom, loneliness and, yes, depression of this never-ending trial. Seems I always wanted something in my mouth. Clothes that fit last summer, are too tight this summer and my self-control definitely non-existent. So I have been reading and meditating on Galatians 5:16-26 for a few weeks. Then Romans 8 joined also. These verses especially have spoken to me:

Galatians 5:16 & 24

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."  

"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature 

with its passions and desires." 

Romans 8:6-8

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;

 the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 

Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."

As believers in Christ Jesus (those who belong to Christ Jesus), ones who have given our lives to the Lord, we are called to "live by the Spirit". This not only applies to self-control when eating, but also to being self-less in my dealings with Mike, even when I feel like I'm going to lose my mind in respect to his behavior and incessant repeating. I have to keep my mind focused on Christ or the sinful nature takes over. The language in Romans is very strong - "hostile to God", "death", "cannot please God" when I am living in the sinful nature mindset. I want to please God, not be hostile to Him. I covet your prayers as I seek to live by the Spirit

Mike-camp, Jennifer-vacation/respite

Lynn, Mike and I left Charlotte on Sunday morning, July 13 to head to Camp Virginia Jaycee near Roanoke, VA. Mike is spending 2 weeks at camp. The drive went fairly well, with just a couple of hiccups along the way, but nothing major.  It was very nice to have Lynn with us. When we arrived at camp, Mike headed directly to the bathrooms by the pool repeating "no, no, no" as he went. Another car pulled up right after us and a woman got out of the car saying "ok, ok, ok". This may sound strange but it was comforting to me to know that Mike was not the only one that repeats. It became funny as we walked up to the registration area, because the woman was in front of us with her father and it was like a duet "ok, no, ok, no, ok, no" then Mike switched to "ok, ok, ok" too! Positive peer pressure. :-) After another visit to the indoor bathroom, Mike was able to tell them his name and answer some initial questions. We met with the nurse regarding his medication and then went to the car with Gilbert, one of Mike's counselors, to get Mike's belongings.

Kavon, whom we had met on our previous visit, greeted Mike and took us in the golf cart up to Mike's cabin. At first, I wasn't sure if Lynn and I were supposed to go to the cabin with the guys since it is an all male cabin, but Mike grabbed my arm and said "you come with me!" Robert, the sports and recreation leader laughed and said "I think you better go with him." Lynn and I piled onto the back of the golf cart and it started pouring down rain. It wasn't far to the cabin and the trees made good umbrellas. We put sheets on Mike's bed and got him somewhat settled and then started to leave. Mike started to come with us, and another camper walked right out the door with us too. Kavon rounded everyone back up and back into the cabin and we told Mike it was time for us to go. At this point, Mike takes my arm and with a little push said "goodbye" and that was it. I was much relieved that it wasn't an ordeal. Thank you, Lord!

 Lynn and I left, planning to head toward West Virginia where we had a hotel for the night. GPS was not working, so I pulled out a map and decided which route we would take. Upon looking at the map, I saw that Mountain Lake was just a little way off of our intended path, so Lynn and I decided to take a little excursion. We drove up to Mountain Lake Lodge, inquired about the area and learned of a half mile hike right behind the lodge that went to the top of the mountain via the Bald Knob trail. It was a bit of a strenuous hike, but the view was well worth it.

 Psalm 19:1

"The heavens declare 

the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the

work of his hands."

 After our hike, we continued on our way to Beckley, WV arriving at our hotel about 8:30pm. We opted to eat at the hotel restaurant and split a ceasar salad and mini-burgers appetizer. After supper we enjoyed a swim and the hot tub and slept wonderfully after all the exercise. It was such a fun carefree afternoon.

Monday morning, we headed to Adventures on the Gorge for our Tree Top Canopy Tour - 10 zip lines, 5 rope bridges, and one rappel. I have wanted to go zip lining for a long time and Lynn made it happen. Thank you, Lynn! It was so much fun!! I felt so free, zipping above the trees, whooping it up and having a grand time.
 

After our zip line adventure, we went to the New River Gorge visitor's center and gathered information and a CD to drive along the old route to the old, small New River Bridge, while viewing the amazing large 4 lane one. We stopped at several pull-offs to enjoy the views, or take short hikes to see waterfalls and wild flowers. It was a marvelous trip with so much beauty to see.

Then we were on our way to Ohio to spend a few days with Mom Rice.  We helped her hang some pictures, visited the Africa exhibit at the Columbus Zoo, celebrated Mark's birthday with one of Lynn's delicious Mexican meals and played cards. I left on Friday morning and Lynn was leaving today.

Friday I drove to Wintergreen for a few days of quiet, rest, reading, walking and alone time. A family friend offered their home to me for a few days and it has been wonderful. Going for a walk here is serious business though!  I'm at the top of a mountain so any walks start down, but I have to come back up - huffing and puffing. Today, my sister, Gayle, joined me and we have enjoyed talking, watched a movie and she just fixed us a delicious spaghetti and salad dinner. So many blessings and so much fun. I will go home on Wednesday to regroup before picking Mike up on Sunday.

I have heard from Mike a couple of times and he is doing well. A little rough at the beginning of the week, but he has settled in and the director said he has been a joy to have. Sunday he read Scripture and shared some of his testimony with the group. She said he's even dancing with them at breakfast now. He does have a cold and this morning she called to say they were taking him to the doctor because there was a bit of a rattle in his chest. He is prone to chest congestion, so this is not out of the ordinary. Please pray this does not disrupt his enjoyment of camp very much.

I praise God for this wonderful time to enjoy Him and all the beauty that He has made and given to us to enjoy. Thank you, Lord Jesus!

John 1:3 & 4

"Through him all things were made;

without him nothing was made that has been made.

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind."

Hello Again

Well, more than a month has gone by since my last post. Is hard to know what to write sometimes. Our life continues to be much like a roller coaster. We have great days, rough days and so-so days or portions of days.  There are many stories I could tell, but really what is the point? This is our life and we're trying to make the most of what we've been given and some days are just thankful to get to the end of it. Other days I'm rejoicing that it was almost normal. I am trying to be more diligent about keeping a short journal and maybe one day I will write a book.  Some of our happenings over the last month have been:


Mike and I helped in the kitchen for VBS, plus I took pictures and set up a PowerPoint presentation for the closing. I enjoy working with programs like Power Point and it was such fun to be creative and help out in that way.


My nephew, TR & his wife, Brittany are creating a corn maze and pumpkin patch for the fall so we tested it out with my sister, Carol, and her husband, Ed.  Rains have been few and far between so the corn isn't growing as much as they'd like. TR set up irrigation to help it out.  If you live in the area, keep watch for when it will be open!


There are two people I want to introduce to you.  Unfortunately, I don't have a photo of either of them, but am very thankful for their help in the last month, in particular.

First I'll tell you about Max.  After losing 2 caregivers & multiple attempts to get someone from an agency to help with Mike, no one was working out. My niece, Coley, suggested asking a man from church who is a retired firefighter. So at the end of May, I called and asked Max if he would be interested. He started on May 27 and is a true God-send for Mike & me!  He is very calm, quiet-spoken, caring, and best-of-all Mike likes him! He really studies Mike and works at being careful not to agitate Mike as much as possible. He comes Monday and Thursday from 8:30 - 3:30, but thankfully is flexible and has worked longer days and more days, as needed. He's had to deal with the many faces of Mike, but takes it all in stride and as he said "deals with it automatically".  When Mike is with Max, I don't worry and can go and do what I need or want to do. I praise God for Max!

Me acting silly - "I'm trapped!"
May as well have fun with it!

Second is Dr. James Sellman, Mike's neuro-psychiatrist. We have been working together to try to minimize the amount of medication Mike is on. I am so thankful that Dr. Sellman is available via cell phone and is so good about calling me back. We are slowly decreasing one of Mike's meds and the new medication he tried, we have stopped because it was causing hallucinations.  The photo is after Mike barricaded me in my room to protect me from "them" - someone he thought was in the bathtub. Dr. Sellman even called one night while we were in Charlotte to make sure Mike was alright on the trip. That's a caring doctor, in my opinion.

As you can see in the photo, I have a bandage on my right hand.  I have had carpal tunnel issues for probably 6 years, but wore a brace at night and it wasn't too bad. Last spring, my PCP, Dr. Rosenbaum, gave me a cortisone shot and it helped me tremendously through the summer gardening season. By January, I needed another shot and then in late May/early June it really started to bother me again. It would wake me up at night - my hand would be numb and tingling and then I started to get shooting pains, plus could not write more than a page without it going numb. Dr. Rosenbaum said it was time to refer me to a hand specialist. On June 26, I had carpal tunnel surgery performed by Dr. Rawles. It was done out-patient under local anesthesia and was almost fun.  The Dr., nurses and I talked throughout the entire procedure. My hand immediately felt better. I have had less pain ever since than I was having the weeks prior to surgery. I still cannot really grip anything and cannot lift heavy items, but just today I removed the dead skin where the incision was made and the scar is barely visible. The lower hand and wrist is still a bit swollen, but Dr. Rawles said the ligament will grow back together and leave a wider space for the nerve that runs through the carpal tunnel. I'm so glad I had the surgery and so thankful for Carol and Gayle who came to help me (and Mike) that first week when I couldn't get it wet.

We finished The Holiness of God Bible study the end of June. What a wonderful study!  I am ready to do another study by R.C. Sproul. He is such an intelligent man and great teacher.

On July 4, Mike and I enjoyed picking blueberries with my cousin PJ. They were so delicious! PJ let me borrow her vacuum seal machine and I was able to freeze a few bags for later.  I also froze some squash to have in the winter. Mike helped me cut up the squash one day. The next day he was just pacing. Sigh...

On July 8, Mike and I packed his things for camp and our trip to Charlotte. Again, thank God for Max. He came on Mon., Tues., and Wed. so that I could get last minute things done before our trip. He took Mike to Johnny's Wednesday morning so I could pack my stuff and then when they got back we took off. Mike gets so anxious when we are travelling somewhere, so this made life much easier on me (and him). Mike did great on the trip, read the whole way. Thursday morning, Amy, Aria, Mike and I walked around the Ikea store and ate lunch there. Mike was having a fantastic day. Mark's family (Mike's brother) arrived in the early afternoon and then Mike rode with Mark & Jenney to pick up Mom Rice and his sister, Lynn from the airport. We played games, played with Aria and enjoyed a few days with family. Aria is such a cutie and so fun to be able to see her. She smiles a lot and is focusing on peoples faces more. So precious.

Amy is such a great Mom.

The center of attention.

 Well, I think this is enough for one post. I will have to write another one later today or tomorrow to fill you in on Mike's camp experience so far and what I'm doing with all this time off.  Blessings!