In Memory of Mike

Romans 8:38-39 (NCV)

Yes, I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, 

nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us, nothing below us, 

nor anything else in the whole world will ever 

be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I arrived at Keegan and Amy's about 4:00 in the afternoon yesterday. What a joy to be with them and their lively little girls! In less than 24 hours we've read several books, taken 2 walks, played at the park, played hide & seek, done multiple puzzles, sung songs, danced, talked and laughed. Keegan, Amy and I stayed up too late sharing memories and talking of life with Mike and what we'd like the memorial to be. 

We're going to start with a small memorial in their backyard at 10:00 Saturday morning by reading Psalm 1 which was one of Mike's favorite Scriptures, share a few memories and sing a song and symbolically scatter some dirt around a tree I gave them for Christmas and set stones around it. After that we will head to the country and gather with a few from their church for another time of sharing Scripture, remembering Mike and singing followed by a one mile fun run/walk in Mike's memory, and then a winter picnic (Covid style). Thankfully it's supposed to be in the high 40's and sunny.

My niece, Coley, asked what time we were planning to do the fun run/walk because she wanted to do it at the same time in her location. What a great idea! This sparked the idea to invite anyone that would like to do the same wherever you are. We will probably be running/walking about 11:30a.m. EST. I'm planning to wear OSU colors, scarlet & gray, and will be walking - my back dislikes running. If you would like to join the memorial in this way, that would be very special to us and we'd love for you to take a photo and send it to us or post it on my FaceBook page.

Michael C. Rice
August 26, 1956 - January 3, 2021

Missing the 4 F's

Funeral/Memorial Service - I didn't realize the extent of uneasiness I would feel at NOT having a Funeral or Memorial Service at this time. It feels like I'm in limbo, waiting for ?? something - is this real? Basically everything I have associated with someone's death my entire life has not and cannot happen during this pandemic stage of life. It stinks and leaves me feeling frustrated and annoyed with a real sense of disquietude. Unfortunately, there are people all over the world experiencing the same sad reality.

Family -  Our Rice family Zoomed together on Wednesday night, but it is NOT the same as being together face-to-face, giving a hug, touching a shoulder, sharing spontaneous memories that pop up because of what someone else shares during a conversation, at a meal, or out for a walk. Being with those who knew Mike best and had done life with him. Everyone was feeling as I was - this is not right, it's not how it's supposed to be, it's not how we want it to be - going about our daily lives as if nothing ever happened, but it DID happen. Mike is no longer on this earth. I've lost my husband, Caleb & Keegan have lost their father, Lynn & Mark lost their brother, Mom Rice lost her son. Even though we are glad that he is free of his broken mind and body and assured that he is with Jesus, none of us can really go on with our lives without being affected, we still mourn and feel the loss and we can't even express it in the "normal" way. 

BUT we didn't dwell there while we looked at each other like the Brady Bunch in little boxes online. We spent the time sharing good, crazy, funny memories of Mike during our short time online together. It was fun and it was helpful, but yesterday I hit a wall. It was like I ran into a wall of annoyance and couldn't get around or over it all day. I wanted to be with my Rice family. I took a long walk, prayed, talked some frustrations out with Keegan, and at least can look forward to being with them in a few days. (The rest of the Rices are spread out from Arizona to Texas to Ohio - that reunion will have to wait until summer.) I asked if we could have a small memorial service in their backyard. Of course, he said, whatever I wanted to do. We have to look at this a new way.

Food - Food is not that big of a deal. We don't need food and a few people did bring food in during the first couple of days which was very thoughtful and kind and was appreciated. It's more what usually occurred around the food that I miss. Again, having lots of family, so that there was a need for the extra food, the conversations that happen at the table or around the island in the kitchen, people dropping in  with food and staying to talk or share a memory or give a hug or a pat on the back. Food after a service where you get to visit with more people and the women of the church show their gifts of hospitality and love by keeping the tables stocked with food and drink while people mingle. As you speak of your loved one and share memories and heartache, the tightness in your chest starts to loosen.

Flowers - If you know me, you know I love flowers. Not that I care much for the traditional funeral arrangements, but they are the bright spot at a funeral. They bring life, color, and a splash of vibrancy and joy into a solemn occasion. My friend, Sandy, sent me a beautiful arrangement of flowers.  Our husbands were at the same facility in Stanardsville and she lost Don four years ago. She understands.

You'll notice I did not add Friends to the list of missing F's. Praise God I have been able to talk, text and email with friends, plus I've been able to be with friends. I've gone to their house or they've come here. We've walked together and talked, hugged and cried. I praise God that the Sunday morning I received the news that Mike was in a weakened state I was at church having prayer with other women. Margaret gave me a hug, Diane came to be with Mom, and I know they prayed for me. God's provision. 

I also want to thank my Jones family. Hugh and Tracey came over Sunday night after Mike died so I wouldn't be alone. Hugh went with me to the funeral home twice in one day. Vivian packed up and came to take care of Mom arriving mid-afternoon Monday. Carol and Ed are coming this week so I can go to North Carolina and Gayle has offered to take time off from work and come when I need her. 

I'm thankful for my boys. Keegan wrote the part of the obituary that really captured who Mike was and Caleb told me he's most relieved for me and all I've been through for the 8 years, 8 months and 9 days Mike lived after the accident. No more calls at odd hours of the day or night, no more tough decisions, less stress.

I have so many people and so much to be thankful for, and I truly am thankful. Plus I know the good Lord will help me grieve and find closure even without the traditional 4 F's. Slowly I'm finding a new way and making it through. I've been going through photo albums and posting photos on FaceBook. That has been very therapeutic to remember Mike as he was prior to the accident and best of all to read other people's memories and how Mike influenced their lives. I have received many cards of comfort and caring where folks also shared memories, I've received private FB messages from former students. Nancy went with me to get Mike's belongings and we ate lunch together in the car and then took a walk afterwards to ease the tension.  The director of AH&RC called and told me how much they were hurting at the loss of Mike and how much they had come to love him. I appreciate all of this so much and it all helps.

After talking with Keegan yesterday, some ideas came and I look forward to a non-traditional memorial service next weekend. We even plan to have a 1 mile fun run/walk in Mike's memory with some of Keegan's church friends, many of whom are like an extension of our family and have shown me much love and care. I think Mike would like that very much!

The Lord will provide. That was going to be my theme for the year, but I had almost forgotten already. He is providing new ways. God has a way of upsetting our comfort and our traditions, but He remains steadfast and never leaves us.  

Isaiah 43:18-19

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? 

I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Mike's Obituary with added photos

I wish I could add music to this post. As I'm sitting here putting this together, I am listening to beautiful instrumental hymns and it's very soothing. At most memorial or celebration of life services there are photos or powerpoint slide shows to remember our loved ones. Here's a small version of that which has been very therapeutic to me in remembering my man in better days. This top photo is one of my favorites which was taken a little over a year before his accident. 

Psalm 116:15

 “The death of one that belongs to the Lord

 is precious in His sight.” 

Michael Collins Rice went to be with his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, on Sunday, January 3, 2021 at 8:05 p.m. 

You might remember him as…
The "God bless you!" man, 
Or the "Be strong in the Lord" man, 
The birkenstocks and socks man, 
Or him who runs in short shorts, 
Or perhaps as the man you called upon to silence a crowd.

He was the God-fearing, confidence-exuding, Ohio State-loving, blood-donating,
random-fact-knowing, always stretching, yogurt-eating, ocean-loving, risk-taking,
Old man who just beat you in a 5k.

To his family he was: Son, Brother, Husband, Papa, and Grandpa
The son who never quit, 
The brother who stood firm for his family, 
The ever faithful husband, 
The father who yelled louder than any other at sporting events, 
The man of God who led our family into the presence of the Lord.

Mike is survived by his wife of 36 years, Jennifer Jones Rice; two sons Caleb (Anastasia) and Keegan (Amy); six grandchildren; his mother, Margaret Rice; brother Mark (Jenney); and sister Lynn Cipriano (Rogelio); plus many more extended family members and friends on both sides who have supported us throughout this journey. Mike is preceded in death by his father, Jim.

This is but a glimpse into the man we knew and loved prior to his accident over eight years ago. Our family rejoices that Mike’s long journey with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) has come to an end. We want to give a special thanks to all those who so lovingly cared for Mike in the various hospitals and facilities throughout the years. His race is complete. 

2 Timothy 4:7 

 “I have fought the good fight, 

I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

A memorial service will be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, donations in Mike’s memory may be sent to Emmaus Bethania High School, P.O. Box 4000, Koror, Palau 96940.

Arrangements are by the Joseph McMillian Funeral Home of Blackstone, VA. www.mcmillianfuneralhome.com 

You may view the official Obituary and leave comments and memories of Mike at: https://www.mcmillianfuneralhome.com/obituary/michael-rice

Fishing trip in Palau, one of Mike's favorite places
 in the entire world. An island surrounded by
water where there is perpetual summer and he
taught and worked with young men.

Swimming with Caleb at the beautiful
rock islands of Palau.

Our journey together all started at Emmaus High School
in Koror, Palau where we both went as single missionaries.

After getting married in the U.S. we returned to Palau
and our little family grew to include our 2 boys, 
Caleb & Keegan

One Last Time

Psalm 16:8

"I have set the Lord always before me,

because He is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken."

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I was nervous yesterday as I thought of going to the funeral home and still unsure whether I wanted to see Mike or not. As I prayed about it, I turned to my favorite Psalm 16 and when I read verse 8, I believed seeing Mike's face one last time, was what I wanted to do and that it would not shake me up, because the Lord was by my side.

Having my brother, Hugh, with me was great comfort and moral support and Joe McMillan made everything so smooth and put me at ease. We only did paperwork in the morning, then returned at 5:00. As soon as Joe opened the door into the room where Mike's remains lay, I was so glad I opted to see him one last time. He looked so good and as if he was peacefully sleeping. To me he actually looked better than he has for a long while. Hugh thought so also. It gave me such joy to be able to see him without a phone screen or a door between us one last time. Many thanks to the Joseph McMillan Funeral Home for taking away the stress of a difficult time.

Today my friend, Nancy, and I drove to Appomattox to pick up Mike's personal items. I have such heartfelt gratitude for Appomattox Health & Rehab Center staff. They have loved and cared for Mike well over the past two and a half years. I told them I will have to come back when this pandemic is over so that I can hug each one of them. The director called me tonight and shared how much they loved having Mike and how hard losing him has been on the staff. We shared memories and cried together. I definitely have the feeling that it's a big family to them, not just a job. These truly are heroes to many families and their loved ones. 

Running in Heaven

To our faithful friends and family:

At 8:05 p.m. tonight Mike drew his last breath on this earth and went to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ. We rejoice that Mike is free at last from his broken mind and body and imagine him running in heaven. It makes me think of the song of the lame man who was healed by Jesus "he was walking and leaping and praising God!" 

We learned on Christmas Eve that Mike had tested positive for Covid-19, but up until this morning, he only had some congestion. About 10:30 this morning I received a call from the speech therapist who told me that Mike was in a much weakened state this morning and was not able to swallow. His oxygen levels were dropping and he was not doing well. Thankfully he was not in distress and was very calm. I was concerned at how they would keep him comfortable if he couldn't swallow or breathe. The speech therapist said an end-of-life gift from God is that when the body cannot take sustenance it goes into a euphoric state. That is a gift indeed.

Later I spoke with the on-call doctor and he prescribed a couple of medications that could be used if Mike showed signs of pain or agitation. I knew from having gone through this with my Dad, that we were drawing close to his death. Around 3:00 the speech therapist, Keegan and I were able to video together. Caleb was driving home from work, but was able to talk to Mike, so at least Mike heard his voice and Caleb could tell him he loved him and was praying for him. Mike was very calm, calmer than usual, and really focused on the phone screen. Later in our video session he reached for the phone and was trying to say something. We told him we loved him and were trying to touch him through the phone also. We assured him all was OK and we prayed he would be with Jesus soon. 

About 7:30 I received a call from Mike's night nurse. Mike was declining rapidly. He was on oxygen and they were giving him the maximum they could give, but he was still not getting what he needed. He was "air hungry" which she said was a fancy way to say he was gasping for air. Yet, she said he was not in distress. She said he looked like he had given up the fight and was happy. I suppose he was in the euphoric state and possibly already seeing Jesus welcoming him to his eternal home. 

We spoke again at 8:25. She said Mike passed peacefully with her and two CNA's by his side. I am so thankful that he was not alone. I know that God was with him, but it's also comforting to know that he had human touch also, since I could not be by his side and holding his hand. 

I am forever grateful to all of the staff at Appomattox Health & Rehab Center. They have truly been wonderful and loved on Mike and me as if we were their very own family. Both the speech therapist and the nurse let me talk and ask questions without feeling that they were in a hurry while I know they had much to do. I praise God for leading us there. 

Right now we are not planning to have a Memorial service until sometime in the summer of 2021. Mike really disliked the cold and with the pandemic it's not a good time. His birthday is in August, summer was his favorite season, and the beach was his favorite place to be. We'll decide about the memorial service later, but at some point after that our family will take his ashes and release them in the ocean. I know it has not all sunk in yet, but I am so glad to know that Mike's spirit is already released and he is whole once more in his heavenly body.  He is at peace. 

My brother-in-law shared this with me tonight and it is comforting:

"...his Spirit soars with wings like eagles and according to Eccl 12:7 we know that while the body returns to the dust from whence it came, the Spirit returns to God, Who gave it."

Run and soar with God, Mike, for you are confined no more. I Love You!