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| Through the door. |
Two weeks ago, I drove to Appomattox to "visit" Mike for the first time since early March. The staff have been so wonderful and I wanted to take them quarts of ice cream as a "thank you" and see Mike while one of my sisters was with Mom. One of the administrative staff members met me at my car and took the ice cream inside while I walked around to the deck so that I could see Mike in person for the first time in over 3 months. I stood on the outside of the door and Mike was wheeled to the inside of the door. He would not look up to see me and so the CNA went to ask another CNA to come and help get him standing. Meanwhile the Speech Therapist and the administrator, who had taken the ice cream in, were continually trying to get him to look up and I was talking to him through the door. It wasn't working.
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| The iron grip. |
Once the others returned, they wrangled Mike out of the wheelchair and tried to tilt his head up, but whenever you try to make Mike do something, he does the opposite and I told them it felt like we were torturing him! There's Mike being held up by two women and another one trying to get his chin up all while Mike is resisting, omming, in a squat position and clinging to the door handle with all of his might. The whole scene was becoming emotional for me on the other side of the door, so I asked them to let him sit back down. When they tried, he would not let go of the door bar and then it became comical with four of them trying to pry his fingers loose first from the door and then from their arm or hand all while he was still in a squat type stance. It is amazing how strong his grip is. Once he was successfully back in his wheelchair, they cracked the door open and asked me to talk to him. Finally, he looked up at me, but if there is any recognition of who I am, I cannot tell. They seem to think he acts differently when he hears my voice. It comes across as more agitated to me, so maybe there is some understanding or memory there and he's just not able to express it in any other way. He did seem to lock his eyes on me once he saw me.
Honestly, he seems to pay more attention to me when we video-chat than he did when I was able to go inside and be with him or through the door. Maybe being on the phone helps to block out other distractions and noise. The same day I visited, everyone at the facility and all the staff were being tested for the coronavirus. Praise God! the results came back this week and all residents and staff tested negative for the virus! What great news! These past months have been busy for me. The weather was so beautiful and cool this Spring which was wonderful for weeding all the flower gardens, plus planting flowers and a few vegetables. Things have been fairly normal around here with my bookkeeping job and taking care of Mom and the house. I tried to limit the number of trips to the grocery store, but still took deposits to the bank and mail to the Post Office. At first, I was thankful for a break from driving to Appomattox, but now I miss getting to see Mike and do little things for him. I miss the ladies Bible study that met on Tuesdays, and I miss "normal" church, especially the singing and our fellowship suppers. I'm thankful we can meet together again, but it's so weird with everyone wearing masks, no singing, no hugs, no breaking bread together. I knew I tended to read lips as people talked, but I have really noticed it now that I can't see people's lips. I have to concentrate a lot more on what I'm hearing without that visual aid.
Last week, I had the distinct blessing of spending the entire week at the beach with my youngest son's family and in-laws. We all stayed in a house and only went back and forth to the beach where everyone was practicing social distancing and the beach was not crowded. We picked up some delicious seafood one night, but otherwise ate at home. The highlight for me was playing with my grandchildren in the ocean and on the sand every day and playing games with the adults at night. The weather was gorgeous and we only received rain in the afternoon or evenings. It was a wonderful vacation! I couldn't help but think how much Mike would have enjoyed being at the beach and playing with his granddaughters. The beach was his favorite place to be and he was like a fish in the water. How I would love for him to be able to go to a beach again. My oldest son's family couldn't join us because they have returned to Arizona. Unfortunately for us, things didn't work out in North Carolina, but fortunately for them Caleb's job in AZ was still open and his co-workers were glad to get him back. It was a whirlwind few months for them, plus driving back to AZ at the beginning of the pandemic with a baby almost due, but God really provided for them all along the way. My 6th grand-baby, a beautiful, healthy girl, arrived safely in April and they are happily getting settled in their home now. While it was a surprise that they were returning, there is peace that they are where they are supposed to be.
I shared previously that I needed to have my diamond ring and wedding band resized and I was able to do that a few weeks ago. It feels good to have those visual reminders, of the promise I made to Mike, back where they belong and to know that small businesses were able to re-open. Our local jeweler did such a good job and had my rings so shiny that they looked like new. 
A few years ago, I went to a Renaissance Festival in Charlotte with Keegan's family and I bought a small copper ring from one of the vendors. At the spot where it is soldered together, it looks like a little heart. I wear it on my right hand as a visual reminder that my heart belongs to Christ and that what I say and do needs to be glorifying to Him. I am not my own, I have been bought with a price.
I Corinthians 6:19 & 20
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
These are very unsettling times, but as believers in Jesus, God's son, we have the assurance that He has already won the battle over sickness, death, sin, and evil. He is victorious and we are His - what do we have to fear? Nothing here on earth will last forever, only through Jesus Christ is there life eternal. That is the message that is needed in a fearful, uncertain, and dying world. Nothing is promised here. Jesus promises that when we admit that we sin and believe that He died on the cross to pay the penalty required by God, the Father, then we will spend eternity with Him. That is solid truth and will not change, unlike the world we know.
John 1:12
"But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
I find visual reminders helpful, especially during difficult times or times of temptation. My rings are scanned by my eyes often every day and remind me of God's faithfulness to me and how I need to be faithful to Him and to my husband. Tonight I am reminded that there are those who do not know or understand what Jesus has done and I need to be more vocal. This is not news to be kept to myself. This is news with eternal consequences. I am mentally adding this reminder to the significance of my rings.
Do you have a visual reminder?
