Holding Hands

Two weeks ago today, Mike and I were able to walk outside and sit in the sun and he actually held my hand instead of pushing me away. He didn't speak much, but as we were walking outside, I asked him if he wanted to sit in the shade or the sun and he came out with "I want to sit in the sun!" All of his words come out loud and with force, as if it takes a lot of effort. That was about all he said, but the drive had made me sleepy and so we both enjoyed sitting quietly in the sun with our eyes closed for about 20 minutes. I had forgotten that I had put Mike on the schedule to have his hair cut that day, but after lunch the hair stylist came looking for us. Mike was having a calm day and cooperated well; therefore, received a good haircut. It was a good day.

Last week he didn't stop ommming until we were outside. He walks with the aid of a walker and was maneuvering better than previously. He was actually going around people and things on his own with minimal prompting. Again we walked to the outside deck and sat in the sun. As soon as we sat down he looked right at me and asked "Can you take me home!?" I'm sorry, no. You are improving, but still need to get better. Since he was having a good day, we called and he spoke with his Mom and our sons.

As we were going back to his room, he strongly maneuvered toward the barber shop room. Mr. Ommm was in full command and nothing I said or did made any difference. It is amazing how strong he still is. He actually got in the room and the stylist was about to call for assistance when I finally managed to get him turned around and out the door. Once on his hall, his favorite CNA told me that he spoke to her and asked for a drink of water a few days prior. Now that is new! At The Harbor I don't think he ever talked to the staff or asked for anything. Mr. B said Mike has spoken to him also, or said things out loud during the night. I really believe it is helpful to Mike being in a room with someone who talks to him and looks out for him. It might also be why Mike has spoken to the staff. I know he hears Mr. B. requesting things, so he is possibly mimicking what he has heard. Cognitively he is having moments of more clarity, so I think the new medication has had a positive effect.

Please keep Mr. B in your prayers. He is on oxygen 24/7 and is battling pneumonia right now. He has not looked well for the past couple of weeks. Today his breathing seemed better, but he was feeling down in the dumps.

It was a rough day for Mike today. Mr. Ommm was in constant control and Mike was quite antsy. He did some things today that really show he doesn't know what he is doing. We did walk a couple of times, but he only sat for about a minute outside before he popped up and walked again. No holding hands today. No words or sentences. Mr. B. said Mike had been like that the past 3 or 4 days.

For the past year and a half, I have led a Bible Study on the book of Acts. I learned so much from God's word and from my fellow study members. I listened to Dr. R. C. Sproul's sermon series on Acts as part of my preparation in which Dr. Sproul included an Epilogue. This past Sunday morning, we finished our study and then gathered together for supper Monday night and I shared the Epilogue from II Timothy 4 where Paul knows that he will soon be departing this life and entering his new life.

II Timothy 4:6 & 7

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, 

and the time has come for my departure. 

I have fought the good fight,

I have finished the race,

I have kept the faith."

Today I was reminded of what Dr. Sproul said regarding verse 7. Fight the good fight - As Christians we are not to be argumentative and quarrelsome, but we are to contend for the faith - the good fight. Like a boxer, to be a contender, you have to fight and win several fights before you are considered a contender. Mike and I have fought through several "fights" since his accident 6.5 years ago and we are still fighting. We are contenders. This is no 100 yard dash. This is a marathon. Our race is not finished yet, we must keep running. Slow, endurance running, keep going, don't give up, don't quit. There will be a finish line one day. Keep the faith. Like a soldier, fidelity to the General. A good soldier does not give up when the battle rages close upon him. Paul never changed his message even when beaten, ship-wrecked, imprisoned, chained. He stood strong for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the word of God in the midst of battle. Pleasing man was not his concern, pleasing and honoring and glorifying God was of utmost importance. May Mike and I keep that kind of faith til our last breaths. Standing strong as witnesses for Jesus, God's word, and our marriage even when we are in the midst of the hardships of emotional, physical and spiritual battle. 

It is a good fight. The Lord is always by our side and with Him we can persevere.

Medicaid Approved, yes? No?...Yes? No?....Yes!

I realized a few weeks ago that I had not updated you on Mike's Medicaid process, but forgot to write about it. Was just as well, since it's been a bit dragged out.

On the 24th of August, I received a letter stating that Mike had been approved. That seemed really fast compared to what everyone had told me. I guess when you don't have much, it goes fairly quickly...or so I thought. As soon as I received the letter, I started calling all the places that were waiting for payment and soon discovered that when they input his Medicaid number it said he did not have benefits.

I contacted his case worker and she discovered that his Social Security number had been keyed in incorrectly. She quickly corrected that, but then it said there was a duplicate. Evidently when I had started the process four years ago, a number was generated even though I did not pursue it to completion. When his Social was put in incorrectly, it did not register that there was already a number in the system under his name, so generated a new number. Now that the case manager fixed the Social number, it said there were two records for Mike. This was an issue that our case manager could not correct. She had to send it to the state level and thought it should be corrected in a couple of days. I called every couple of weeks to see if it was straight. No.

The end of September, I received Mike's Medicaid card in the mail. I called our case manager and she said it was OK now, so I started calling everyone we owed money and again was informed that the system said he was not covered. So much time spent holding on the phone and nothing accomplished. Frustrating. Called case manager back, voice mail, she didn't return my call. Waited a few days and asked Appomattox Health & Rehab to try the number again and this time it worked!! Praise God! So, last week I was able to call all of the billing departments and everyone was able to see Mike in the system this time and would submit his bills to Medicaid. I was so glad to check that off my mental list. I really don't like having unpaid bills going past due.

I saw Mike on Monday and it was almost like last Thursday never happened. He did not talk at all. With help from the PT aide, we did walk with him down the hall, but he would not walk with just me. Once I was able to get him to stand, but then he sat right back down. Later, he wouldn't budge from his wheelchair. Mr. B. wasn't feeling well and there was a lot of sickness going through the facility, so they kept everyone in their rooms during meals. Maybe he wasn't feeling well either. He wasn't agitated, simply omming and sitting. The podiatrist was there and worked Mike into his schedule and Mike did let me clip his fingernails. That was about it.

Thank you for your comments and praising God with me that Mike did so well last week. I expect we'll see more of that off and on.

Please pray for my Mom, she has not been feeling well and no one can pinpoint the problem, so far. We have a couple of doctor appointments for her in the next week and really hope one of them will find some answers that will help her feel better. Thank you for partnering with us in prayer for God's wisdom for the doctors. God is Awesome and the master physician - there is nothing He doesn't know!

Positive Signs

Two weeks ago, while visiting Mike, I took him out on the deck along with Mr. Ommm.  I brought a deck of cards and started playing War. I turned over my card and Mike's, verbalizing what I was doing. Soon Mr. Ommm disappeared. After a few turns, I asked Mike to turn over his card. He would do it, but only when I asked him to. After a bit of that, I pointed to one of the cards and asked him what it was "A JACK!" he said with force. Not like he was angry, but as if that was the only way he could get the words out. Each time I would point to a card and ask what it was he would do the same, inhale then exhale the words "A SIX!, A NINE!" Which card is higher? "THE NINE!" 

I was very glad that when the Psych NP came out to find us, she heard him speaking. I introduced Mike to her, as she sat down, and told him that we were going to talk about his medication. Silence. Thankfully, the NP waited to see if he would respond, then when he didn't, she asked him if it was OK for us to talk about his medicine. Mr. Ommm was back in a flash and prevented Mike from more talking. Natasha wanted to try a different medication with Mike called Namenda which she has found beneficial to patients with dementia and Alzheimer's. I, along with the nurses, believe that the increase in Depakote made him more agitated instead of calmer. Once the Namenda has had a chance to get into his system (approx. a month) and we see how he responds to it, then she will begin to titrate down on the Depakote. 

I was also able to speak with the OT that afternoon. They have put Mike in a different chair which seems to be working well. He's not sliding out of it, but is able to sit upright and wheel around the halls on his own to some degree. She was also trying to get the staff to get him up and walking more and possibly to the bathroom after lunch when he gets really antsy. 

Monday - doing better. "Smile, Mike!"
Eyes closed. "Smile with your eyes open." 😊😍

Monday when I was there, Mike was calmer and spoke a bit more. Eating was still rushed, but I walked with him by myself for a short distance for the first time since June. Quite an encouragement to me. And yet, after lunch he was so agitated and kept pushing me away. I asked him if he would prefer I leave and go home. "YES!" Well...thank you very much. I don't really take it to heart, we've had stuff like this before - it has been 6.5 years after all. So I didn't leave, but I didn't touch him or speak. Figured at least he was getting a sensory break by sitting outside. He would close his eyes and drop his head, then every little bit he would peek out of the corner of his eye in my direction. I wonder what he was thinking? We sat in silence for about 20 minutes, then I needed to get going. I asked him if he would brush his teeth and shave or let me do it when we returned to his room. Silence. Once there, he was a little bit more cooperative than he has been and said "YES!" a couple more times. Mr. B. was so glad to hear him speak and believes he will just "pop" out of it one day and be fine. I responded "With God all things are possible!".

The past two weeks I've only gone once a week. It was just too draining and stressful seeing him fidgety and agitated and nothing I could do about it; plus my Mom hasn't felt real well either, and I've been working on getting flowers and decor ready for the big Fall Farm Festival. However, since I saw such positive signs on Monday, I wanted to go back this week and thankfully our helper, Betty, could come stay with Mom, so I went today. 

So many positive signs!

I walked with him a short distance and he seemed quite stiff when I first got there about 11:30. Was also being obstinate. If there was anything in the hall, he went directly for it. He's strong, but I prevailed and got him to maneuver around objects and people. Back in the wheelchair, he peddled his way down to the deck. I gave him a tissue to blow his nose and in the process he felt his face and came right out with "I haven't shaved in a couple days!" After that we made a video and tried to call his Mom. She called us back later once we were in the room and he did speak with her, with prompts from me. He also was calmer while eating and I was able to let him feed himself at the end with no problems. 

After lunch, he brushed his own teeth and between the two of us we got him shaved. Another first since June. He didn't fight the entire process, just every now and then. Also, with prompts, he told Mr. B. that he used to do push-ups and sit-ups. Again we walked down the hall and this time he moved quicker, more upright and easier and he even maneuvered around things with cues. Bill, one of the OT's was coming down the hall with another resident and I told Mike who he was and to say "Hi Bill". Bill and the resident proceeded on into the OT room (it takes Mike a few seconds to process and get the words out) and then Mike said "HI BILL!" As if in slow motion, Bill leaned his head out of the door and said "Did I just hear what I think I heard?!" Yes! He's been talking a lot more today! "I've heard him be verbal, but not like that!" Bill said. 

Hurray! We're almost back to the baseline where he was before this last fall. Woo Hoo!! Thank you, Jesus! Thank you all for all your prayers! Thank you to the NP, nurses, CNA's, therapists, kitchen crew, Mr. B. and the other residents. As we continued down the hall, we came to Ms. Patty who I often stop and speak to and who has talked with Mike from the very beginning. Say hi to Patty, Mike. "HI PATTY!" At this point we are right in the center of the facility at the nurses station, so everyone around there heard him. There were lots of wide eyes and "I've never heard him speak!" Bill and Patty were the only two he would say hi to, but it was truly a great day after 3 months of turmoil and very little speaking.

We attempted the bathroom and then walked the halls a 3rd time and he was getting faster which is a sign of getting tired as the walker was getting away from him. I was able to get him settled in bed and he looked like he would be asleep soon. He was much calmer than he has been since he's been there. As I was saying my goodbyes and walking out of the door, I told him I loved him and paused to see if he would respond. I wasn't disappointed. "I LOVE YOU!" As I was walking down the hall, I heard Mr. B. say "There you go, Mike." I'm so glad Mike has Mr. B. to encourage him and watch out for him. I hope having a roommate that talks to him will help Mike to talk more also. A new prayer point. 

It was so nice to walk away smiling today. I drove away giving thanks to Jesus for such an encouraging day and vast improvement in Mike. 

Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

A cheerful heart is good medicine,

but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.