When I arrived at The Harbor, I was greeted by one of the staff who told me that Mike had eaten 2 breakfast plates and had just walked down the hall. I went in search, but couldn’t locate him. With the help of another staff member, he was found in someone else’s bathroom. (they do all look mostly the same, after all.)
When Mike was ready, we went to the other wing to play Bingo. Mike did well and after seeing me help another woman at the table, he would watch and try to help also. Filling the entire card was the last game of the morning and Mike was the first to fill his card. A prize is given for the last game and Mike picked a purple elephant. We took the elephant back to his room and I noticed that he had someone else’s slippers on. I saw one of his slippers on his dresser and found the other one in his roommate’s side of the wardrobe. I had been told that Mike’s roommate likes shoes and various odd ones do show up amongst his things. Evidently it presents quite a challenge to the staff to try to keep the right clothing and shoes with their respective owners. Ah well – small stuff in the scheme of things.
After getting Mike’s walking shoes on, we took a walk in the courtyard. Since we were out there, the staff offered to bring Mike’s lunch outside. It was a nice day and so we sat under a Crepe Myrtle and Mike ate about 1½ plates. He was getting tired and I needed to get back to Farmville to return the unneeded furniture before they closed, so Mike went to take a nap and I headed home.
Wednesday, May 20
I called to check on Mike and spoke with C who is very caring and interested in understanding Mike and his ways. (I thought maybe I shouldn’t be putting everyone’s names, since I don’t have permission so will just use initials.) C said Mike was doing fine, they’d had one uncooperative bathroom incident, but she assured me nothing out of their norm. She wanted to know what his “sounds and mumblings” meant and what they could do to help him break out of it. I really appreciate her desire to learn about him and thus be able to work with him as best as they can.
Thursday, May 21
I called and spoke with K who said Mike was being helpful and very sweet with the older residents and at that moment he was sitting with one of the elderly ladies. I was thrilled to hear that he was being helpful. That will help him so much to have purpose and feel useful. That call made my day!
Wednesday, May 27
I received a call from C informing me that Mike had become agitated that morning and grabbed the arms of one of the staff members. Everyone was fine, but she wanted me to know and see if I had any words of experience to help. As we talked, she mentioned that Mike had been sitting at the table waiting for breakfast and then got up and came to the med cart, where he grabbed the staff member’s arms. That cued me to the problem. Mike is very impatient and it doesn’t take much to get him agitated, especially when food is involved. Thus from our conversation, C determined that it is best to bring Mike after the food has arrived. Again, I so appreciate her desire to understand Mike and alter how they handle him to try to head off these incidents before they happen.
Thursday, May 28
I spent the morning working in the gardens here at home then drove to The Harbor in the afternoon. Mike was sitting in a room across the hall from his own, staring at his bare feet and saying “oooooo”. He had someone else’s shoes and one of his own. Seeing me did nothing to break him out of his “ooooo”. I was finally able to coax him to his room where we found his other shoe. The entire visit, he had a very hard time breaking out of the “oooo”. We were able to read some Scripture and play a couple of games of UNO, but any time there was a lull, the “oooo’s” were right there to fill the void. We were up and down a lot also; he was quite restless.
According to C, the physical therapist had worked with him that day and I think his legs might have been hurting and looked a bit swollen, so C was going to speak with the nurse about giving him a fluid pill. I had him lie down and read for a bit so that I could rub his legs. When I left, he was lying on his bed reading a book.
I stayed with my aunt again and she gave me my first knitting lesson! My first try wasn’t too bad, but what’s that long loop doing there? (Ha!) She started me over again and sent me home with the necessary tools to practice.
Friday, May 29
As soon as I arrived, I could hear Mike was still stuck “oooooo”. He was sitting in the dining room and again was quite restless or anxious. I had brought him a yogurt parfait and he was in that mode of gorging, so eating it was messy. I stayed from about 9-1 and just like Thursday night, he never really broke out of his “stuckness”. His legs were restless so I asked for some OTC pain medicine. I’m guessing that either he’s anxious due to the new place, he’s having pain, or is possibly getting sick. Those are the only possibilities I can come up with that could cause his being stuck and nervous. At lunch, he was really stuffing the food in his mouth and would not listen to my instruction to slow down, so I took the fork and fed him to keep him from choking. He was coughing some throughout the day and so I wondered if he was getting congested. We were able to walk in the courtyard and play Sequence, but the "ooo's" were ever lurking and waiting to come out.
We never could carry on any semblance of a conversation either Thursday or Friday. This is disturbing and disappointing, but since I truly believe God made this move possible, I’m trusting that he’ll settle down in time. I spoke with the administrator about my thoughts on why he’s acting that way and she said they would keep an eye on him. She also had the nurse check Mike’s lungs to make sure they sounded clear. I received a call from the nurse while I was driving home Friday and she said his lungs sounded fine, but she would inform the weekend staff to keep watch on him.
Friday night I received a call from The Harbor that when they were making their rounds, they found Mike on the floor in his bedroom with a cut on the back of his leg. Of course, they do not know what happened and Mike was not able to tell them. His leg was bandaged and later that evening, he was sleeping peacefully. Before I left Friday, Mike sat on the end of his bed and was trying to scoot himself up to take a nap. I tried to get him to come around to the side, but he would not listen. It could be that he was trying to get out of bed the same way and misjudged the edge.
Saturday, May 30
I called to check on Mike and C said he was still stuck and that yesterday he wouldn’t feed himself at first. Uh oh. Hope I didn’t start something by feeding him. The day I was there, we sat in the sunroom with another couple and the wife of the other couple was feeding her husband. I’m thinking that Mike may be acting out what he is seeing. It may be that starting him on the lower cognition side is not the best for him. I’m not sure that he can differentiate between those who cannot feed themselves and his ability to feed himself. I’ll speak with D about that tomorrow. Is hard to know what will work best with him and will take some time to figure it out. He was feeding himself just fine the first week and joining into the activities.
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Since having my first knitting lesson, I’ve found the same is true of knitting. Friday night, before going to bed, I put the You Version Bible app on speaker and listened to the Gospel of John, while knitting. About the fourth chapter, I started to feel sleepy, I finished my row, turned off the Bible and slept deeply.
We all have different stresses in our lives and I am thankful for different ways to diffuse and let go of the stress. I am also thankful for those who have helped me along the way: God, His Word, our families, our church families, friends, doctors, and my counselor. Each plays a part and I am so grateful for each of you.
Philippians 1:2&3
May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.
Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.