Two Years

Two Years

Friday we hit the 2 year anniversary of Mike’s accident. Most of the medical profession says that the greatest healing and changes in the person with brain injury occurs in the first 2 years. Some say that by the 2 year mark, any improvements that were going to happen have happened and so this is it. Other families who have loved ones with brain injury say “don’t believe it!” They say that improvements continue year after year, just extremely slow, the brain is very complex, but does continue to regenerate and heal. So we continue to pray, believe, and hope for more recovery.

 Mike did a great job in the Maundy Thursday play along with 12 other men from church. It was the first time I had ever seen the dramatization of Leonardo DaVinci’s painting, The Lord’s Supper. The cast posed at the table matching DaVinci’s painting. Each disciple told a little bit about themselves, how they came to know Jesus and wondered if they could be the one to betray him. It was well done and interesting to hear more about each disciple. Mike portrayed Thomas who is sitting to the right and behind the Jesus character who is seated at the middle of the table. Thomas is holding up his hand as if pointing to the sky. Only his head and hand are visible. (Mike kept his glasses on J)

 

Easter Sunday was a beautiful day to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Grace has a tradition of placing flowers on a cross. The cross is at the front of the church with palm branches attached to the back. At the end of the service, the congregation has the opportunity of placing flowers through the wire and transforming the bare, crooked, wooden cross to a cross blooming with life and beauty. What a beautiful visual reminder of how Christ offers to take away our sinful, crooked lives through his death on the cross and then give us a new and beautiful life through His resurrection. After the service, the cross was carried to the edge of the church property by the highway.

Last week, we had a very rough beginning of the week and then probably the best 3 days in a row ever. Wednesday, a man from Care Advantage came out to help with Mike and he had the opportunity to see almost all of the many faces of Mike. He came back on Thursday! Yay!  His name is Tony and he and Mike had a great day on Thursday. Unfortunately, Tony is not able to drive Mike anywhere yet, (I’m going to speak with the powers-that-be and see if we can remedy this situation.) so we all went to Johnny’s and then came home and Mike wanted to show Tony around the farm so they headed off for a walk.

I went to Richmond to submit the conservator and guardianship reports. It was a gorgeous spring day and I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone and away. I parked in a parking deck and loved the freedom to go at my own pace. I probably walked about 25-30 city blocks making all the stops I needed to make plus enjoying the day and seeing Spring in bloom. Saw the Square (Governor’s Square?) where I used to eat lunch when I worked in Richmond so detoured around to look at that and then decided to see if Stuffy’s was still around. Stuffy’s is a sub shop where we would stop and get lunch on our way home from Secretarial classes. Sure enough, it is still there and the inside looks almost the same!  I ordered my old favorite of turkey on pita with lettuce, tomato, mayo, oil & vinegar and their herb mix. What a nostalgic treat for my taste buds! I sat in the car, enjoyed my trip down memory lane, ate my lunch and then back home. I felt the tension and stress melting away.

Saturday Mike and I joined a few folks in Blackstone to help pick up litter along the streets.  I forgot to take a photo while we were working so here we are in our orange vests after we had picked up 2 1/2 big bags of trash. Backs hurting, but very satisfying work.

Beautiful baby girl, Aria, is here!

Our son, Keegan and his wife, Amy, have a beautiful girl. Aria Elizabeth Rice was born about 5:30 AM, April 11, 2014 after 22 hours of labor. Aria is healthy, precious, adorable, beautiful....you know....perfect!  She was 6 lb. 11 oz. at birth.

Caleb, Anastasia, Mike and I drove down to Charlotte on Friday. We didn't get to the hospital until about 9:30 PM, but were able to see Keegan and Aria briefly.

Daddy and baby!

Saturday morning Mike and I went by to visit and then did some shopping. Caleb and Anastasia did some shopping later in the day and then we all returned to the hospital for a while.

Grandpa Mike!

Grandma & bright eyed Aria

Aria Elizabeth Rice

Uncle Caleb

 Today Mike cut grass at K&A's (was totally happy and we could hardly get him to stop for a break. He started about 9:30 or 10 and didn't come in until 1:30.)  Keegan, Amy and Aria arrived home about 1:00. So fun to have a baby in the family. Pictures are better than a lot of words, so enjoy!

Mommy & baby!

Keegan, Amy, & Aria - home

So precious.

A Good Day

Just had to tell you that today has been one of our best days yet. Was surprising too because it rained all day. In the recent past, it typically seemed that when the weather was rainy or snowy, Mike had a rough day. Y'all must have been really storming the gates of heaven for us. Thank you.

I forgot to mention in the post yesterday that we bought Mike a rowing machine. He had read in Consumer Reports that rowing machines were good all-around exercise machines and we'd been looking online and in stores. Finally decided to order direct from a company. It is easy on the body and actually a great stress reliever. (for me anyway!) I've found when I'm frustrated and have to walk away, I can sit on there, close my eyes and imagine a lake and the rowing has a very soothing and calming effect. It seems to work for Mike also. When he gets anxious about leaving for Johnny's or church and I'm not ready yet, I've told him to go row so he has some way of getting out his anxiety and pass the time. This past Sunday, he left the breakfast table and didn't come back for a long time, when I went to see what he was doing, he was rowing away all on his own initiative!! Yippee!

We have not been back to swim yet. Last week while in Richmond, we bought him a close fitting life jacket. Now I'll feel safer going with him by myself and he feels more secure, as well.

Please pray for a young couple, Brian & Allison, who just lost their 6 week old baby Owen. Their first born. He had been fighting for life, had multiple procedures, and passed away about 8:00 pm today. So heartbreaking.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

SOS

The last 2 weeks, I sent out an SOS to several people and places. Finding the right person(s) to spend time with Mike is proving to be difficult. Unfortunately, the 2 local organizations did not work out, ones I called in Richmond do not service this area, and the one I'm currently working through from Colonial Heights called this afternoon and said they do not have a good fit to send tomorrow, but are going to run an ad to try to find someone. Hmmmm? I appreciate the effort and they have communicated very well with me, but I won't expect anyone soon. What I like about this company is that their employees are allowed to drive clients, so I was hoping for 2 days a week/5 hours a day where they would take Mike to Johnny's to work out. I'd take one day for myself and one day to help Mom.

Working out at Johnny's

I also made a request at church asking men to let me know if they had a couple of hours that they could spend with Mike. While Mike is better, we still have rough periods and being responsible for someone else 24/7 is tiring. I need help and about lost my sanity one day this week. The curious thing is that Mike can act mostly normal at church on Sunday mornings, Wednesday night suppers, around other people, most of the time at Johnny's, and was a perfect gentleman, answering questions, calm, etc. with the nurse that came to evaluate him. Then seems to fall apart when it's just the two of us. I'm getting a complex. I'm always trying to figure out why he acts the way he does and these are some of the possibilities I've come up with so far.
1. He sees me as the caregiver and resents me asking him if he's done this or that or telling him what he needs to do, setting the schedule, etc. - nag, nag, nag
2. If his attention is not constantly engaged by an activity or person, he cannot maintain calm or focus so resorts to repeating.
3. He expects someone to be immediately available upon his every question, demand or request. If no one responds quickly or doesn't respond the way he wants, he becomes frustrated or anxious and reverts to the repeating which can escalate into poor behavior.
4. We're just together way too much and get on each other's nerves. (think about anyone you love, do you really want to spend every moment of every day with them even if all is "normal"?)

Thankfully, since the weather has warmed up, we are able to get outside more and work in the yard. A real plus this week is that Tracey gave Mike a project of scraping and painting the poles for the horse jumps. (I don't know what to call them.) I asked Mike if he wanted me to help him or if he would prefer to work by himself and he wanted to work by himself. Woo Hoo!! This was wonderful! He scraped and I raked and we both enjoyed some time of independence on Friday and again on Saturday. Saturday morning, we joined folks at church for the clean up day. Mike raked with the men and I washed windows with the ladies. Another nice change of pace. Tonight, Hugh has taken Mike to church to hopefully play the role of Thomas in the Lord's supper play at church on Maundy Thursday. Please pray that he will be able to do this without any TBI episodes. He really wants to be involved in church activities and I'm so thankful they are giving him the chance. (They returned and all went well! Praise the Lord!!)

On Thursday, we went to Richmond, ate at the Crazy Greek restaurant, did a couple of errands and went to see the movie God's Not Dead. Very good movie - go see it. Mike really gets into whatever he reads or watches. He shouted out a few times during the movie, but didn't get out of control, so we were able to stay. However, I don't think we'll go to many movies. We almost didn't make it through the previews - they were too intense and he was getting agitated and started rocking in his seat.

I had a wonderful, spiritually filling time at the women's retreat a couple of weeks ago. What an amazing, beautiful, spirit-filled group of ladies. We sang, cried, laughed, praised, shared, ate and met new sisters in the Lord. Gayle, Tracey, Coley and Hugh got along fine with Mike. Gayle was pulling double duty. Our Mom blacked out that week and fell in the kitchen, hitting her head when she fell. Mom was checked out well at the ER and sent home. Said everything was fine with the pace maker and it must have been a drop in blood pressure. Gayle came a day early and helped with Mom. Unfortunately, Mom is still experiencing dizzy times and feeling woozy. Medication has been changed and doctors have been visited, but nothing real conclusive. Please keep her in your prayers that this will go away and that she'll have lots more energy soon.

We are anxiously awaiting word of our granddaughter's birth, but as of last night, still nothing happening. Today is the due date. Caleb is flying in on Tuesday, driving up to visit here and then we are all going back down to Charlotte next weekend. Hopefully she'll have arrived by then!

SOS - I was curious as to what SOS stands for and Googled it. It doesn't stand for anything according to Mentalfloss. It was morse code: 3 dots, 3 dashes, 3 dots that became the international sign of extreme distress. On Mentalfloss, it says that "save our souls" and "save our ship" are backronyms. Something people came up with to fit the letters. Well, I like both of the bacronyms. In my distress this week, I felt like a sinking ship and do indeed need help. God reminded me of a couple of verses that I shared at the women's retreat. I'm so thankful that He has saved my soul and continues to save me from myself.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." It is so easy to lose focus. I really am a self-centered person and that's when I get the most resentful and aggravated about our situation. The following quote from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word really struck me after I had lost patience with Mike and yelled at him. "I admit that I reaped absolutely no benefit from the things I'm now ashamed of." So true!  When I lose my patience with him, it only makes the situation worse and I feel awful. It is not helpful or productive. There is no benefit.

I Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
This trial will not go on forever, God promises and He is faithful to His promises. What really struck me this time when I read I Peter was that after a little while, He himself will restore us! WOW! Himself! Now that's a promise I look forward to with great hope! Yes, it doesn't seem like a little while, but in God's timing and in light of eternity, this trial is light, momentary and only lasting a little while.

Yet, I do need help. It is hard to ask for help, but please help keep us afloat if you live in the area and are able. Especially men or couples, if I'm not going to be around or you want to take him somewhere. Whoever is interested, can e-mail me mcjrrice@gmail.com. I'm going to work on typing up instructions and necessary information. If there are several people, we can even have an info session. I've learned by fire, you don't have to learn that way. Thank you.